- Mar 17, 2012
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Is the girl of your dreams dating some douche? Do you want to win her over with class and wit? Well, today's your lucky day!
Hi, PsychicTaco115 here and I'm honored to bring to you today 10 Easy Steps to Get Out of the Friend-zone!
Have you had any successful endeavors using these tips and tricks? Tell me in the comments and how to best help the "Nice Guys" of the Internet!
EDIT: Because of all the euphoric postings, I decided to throw in an extra le "tip" in for free!
Hi, PsychicTaco115 here and I'm honored to bring to you today 10 Easy Steps to Get Out of the Friend-zone!
You're not going to get anywhere if your clothes are old and unkewl! That's why you need an entirely new set of clothes to best match the Alpha mood you're going for.
A graphic T-shirt with your favorite gaming meme, cargo shorts, sneakers,finger-less gloves and a Guy Fawkes mask are the pinnacle of the clothing line, you can't go wrong with them! Along with this cavalcade of clothing, you need to start growing hair follicles on the neck. It's where all the class is stored.
And most important of all is your fedora. Without it, you may as well be one of those heathens who has "swag" and are most ungentlemanly like.
A graphic T-shirt with your favorite gaming meme, cargo shorts, sneakers,finger-less gloves and a Guy Fawkes mask are the pinnacle of the clothing line, you can't go wrong with them! Along with this cavalcade of clothing, you need to start growing hair follicles on the neck. It's where all the class is stored.
And most important of all is your fedora. Without it, you may as well be one of those heathens who has "swag" and are most ungentlemanly like.
If you don't have euphoria, how will others know of your superior intellect and whatnot? It's essential if you want to get the girl! Now how do we achieve euphoria? Well, that leads right into the next step which is...
Reaching atheist nirvana is akin to having an orgasm. Yeah, it's that good. With it, you can challenge the viewpoints of the fundies, debate about whether or not Carl Sagan or Neil deGrasse Tyson is the true savior of scientific thought AND show the ladies how intellectually and philosophically deep you are. Women love a rebel
Another way for to increase euphoria is to tip your fedora. How else are you supposed to show how delightful you find cultured things without tipping?? It's also been scientifically proven that the more euphoria you have, the more intense the tipping is!
Another way to show your class is to listen to REAL music. Bands like Queen, Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd, Avenged Sevenfold, Daft Punk, etc. are the best of the musical genres and are necessary in order to appear more interesting! [C]rap, Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha are for the uneducated plebs and all suck anyway
French is the language of love so knowing a bit is always good and the best part is only one word is quintessential in becoming romantic: le. Other useful words include m'lady, sheeple, plebeians and other words with lots of syllables. Use a thesaurus at any and all opportunities!
Being afraid of people of color is all right; they're scary and could steal your stuff! Don't say anything racist to their face but on the internet, no knows you're NOT black! Also, calling women sluts or whores for doing sexual activities you find inappropriate is fine because they're women! They don't know anything and need a strong man who needs to put them into place!
Reading Atlas Shrugged is akin to an epiphany; it makes you see things you never realized and now you can finally fix all the problems plaguing your nation! Objectivism is the best -ism!
Becoming a fan of a cartoon may seem odd, but it actually holds benefits you might not have thought of! Things like critically analyzing any and all plotholes, drawing porn and making characters your waifus are good ways to pass the time as you wow the many m'ladies in the real world
Obviously, food is what charges the body and the sexual prowess. What foods are best for it then? It may surprise you but high fructose soda like Mountain Dew and cheesy snacks like Doritos help make you last longer in bed than ever!
Have you had any successful endeavors using these tips and tricks? Tell me in the comments and how to best help the "Nice Guys" of the Internet!
EDIT: Because of all the euphoric postings, I decided to throw in an extra le "tip" in for free!
Simply repeat this quote 5 times every night before going to bed: "In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing, but because. I am enlightened by my own intelligence."
Do that for 2 weeks and your dick will grow 3 times its own size.
Do that for 2 weeks and your dick will grow 3 times its own size.
