Recent content by falafax

GLaDOS. Hands down.

And then ask to speak to their managers.

I let them give their pitch, allow a single painful second of silence, and then quietly ask them if this is what they wanted to grow up to be when they were young and innocent. It works every time.

The tranquilizer pistol from Metal Gear Solid, including infinite ammo, and the Gravity Gun from Half-Life 2 (or the Zero-Point Energy Manipulator if you want to be a dick). Battle plan consists of shooting everybody who moves with the tranquilizer gun, then flinging their limp forms into the...

I've got a Benchmade 440 Opportunist and keep it sharp enough to shave a naked mole rat at thirty paces. And it's fantastic.

By that point humans will be an endangered species, so I'll just roll with the zombies.

Swearing. A bucketful of swearing with the occasional punching something.

Not funny buddy. But no, we should keep them around. Pandas did perfectly fine for millions of years before humans came along and invented the chainsaw and dickishness, so I think it's about time we stopped skullfucking Mother Nature and evolution and trying to keep things from getting worse.