I would like to own a Card Shop of some kind, preferably MTG. It would have other hobby items there as well, but to be able to just hang out all day and sell stuff. Run some tournaments too, that would be awesome.
If you have ever fallen over and said "Aw crap, -20 HP" without realizing it. Also, using Lolspeak in real life conversation, which I have a bad habit of. Me trying not to say Rofflecopter in the middle of one of my GF's funny stories is pure torture for me.
I have driven past an intersection at 10 PM and seen a random hobo cross the street. He appeared to stare into my very soul with this piercing gaze. When he fully crossed and I looked to where he should be, there was no one there. This is /x/ material right there.
IMO, the newspapers had and still have some classic favorites besides Calvin and Hobbs. One can look at comics such as Zits and reflect back on it in your personal life. This is what made comics on paper and on the internet good, the way you can look at it and realize that those shenanigans can...
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