Recent content by myopiczeal

A self-important, bearded transcript: The thought occurs that for all my banging at the "games are art" drum, art is only as good as the culture that surrounds it. A game could give the most extraordinarily emotional experience in the entirety of human culture, and bring tears to the eyes of a...

Gah! Two minutes! You win this time.

I'll just spread a transcript across your thighs: I know what you're going to say. "Yahtzee reviewing a JRPG? Perhaps I shall quickly look outside to make sure the sky is not falling and the seas are not running red with blood, haw hee haw hee haw." Well, you smarmy ****, I had heard that...

I dunno; I did it once out of boredom, and people liked it, so I continued. Some of Yahtzee's best lines are spoken so quickly you could miss them.

An overlong between-mission cinematic transcript: Now that we've left GTA IV in the dust, and MGS4 is still an overly verbose speck on the horizon, we've entered a time of year known as "The Season of Bugger-All's-Coming-Out," too far from Christmas to be of any interest to publishers, so the...

As I spit out masticated transcript: About a million years ago, a company called DMA Design created Grand Theft Auto, and discovered that the combination of controversy, wacky humour, and vehicular homicide was a lucrative one indeed, so they made a whole bunch of sequels, threw some TV's out...

And now you have a transcript sticking out of your bonce: Chains of Olympus is a PSP-exclusive prequel installment in the God of War series, a bunch of games that combine an (at best) loose understanding of Greek mythology, with a level of violence that hovers somewhere between "excessive" and...

And a transcript in a Technicolor Dreamcoat:

And a bullets-and-hamburger transcript:

Also not trying to trouble the waters, but here you go:

Dammit, I was just finishing my transcript. I was stuck on "popped its unintuitive clogs". I'd post it anyway, but yours is close enough.

Though a little late, a fuck-mothering transcript: Australia, as most intelligent people know, is populated by the descendants of convicts sentenced to exile for cutting purses and throats on the streets of Londontown. As for the people whose purses and throats were cut, their descendants all...

Because someone asked for it: Controversy and the games industry go hand in hand like Ico and Yorda, if you'll forgive the incredibly nerdy analogy, and like Yorda, the controversy tends to stay focused for an average of about 8 nanoseconds before getting bored and drifting off to do something...

And a sideways-baseball-cap-wearing transcript: People often ask me, "Yahtzee, you Herculean exemplar, you have so much to say about what makes a bad game, but what is your measure of a good game?" Well, actually, no one's ever asked me that; mostly they ask retarded questions like, "When am...

Perhaps a transcript?