A Kobold's tale

[S-Unleashed]

Warning this fan fic may contain Kobolds!

(I do not own Unforgotten Realms, Rob does)Also If you read thios you must post on here. Love it,flame it, I don't just post.

A Kobold's Tale

Written by S-Unleashed and Co. Written by ThunderClaw

Chaper one: Enter Jeff K. Kobold!

As Rob, and his gay friend Mike were off to get tacos, two not whinny fan of the the Web show Unforgotten Realms had snuck in during season two and had made characters of their own with their own story to tell. This is a Koblod's tale.

In the deep mountains of Triton ,the brown furry monsters known as Kobolds were making their blue kobold slaves work in the mines for gold. One blue kobold named Jeff K. Kobold was on his break. He hated this place. Ten years of his seventeen life had been made hell by the Kobold's prince. The evil, one eyed,dwarf hating, jerk face Maelstrom. Jeff looked like any kobold expect for the blue fur of course.
"Man I wish I could get out of this hell hole." Jeff mounted to himself as he chucked a rock at a wall.
"Your wish as been Granted! Boomed a god like voice that sounded like thunder! Jeff panicked.

"Holy kobold! who the hell are you!??!! Kobold." Jeff screamed to the sky as he was being wrapped out of Triton somewhere else.

"I AM THOR! GOD OF THUNDER!! WHAT IS YOUR NEXT WISH?" Boomed Thor's voice. Thor had shown up but due to his awesomeness if the Writer wrote down what he looked like the readers eyes would blow up.

"What?...Wish? Why would a thunder God grant wishes to a Kobold?" Jeff asked.

"WELL YOU SEE, THE KOBOLDS AND I MADE A DEAL. THEY GET ME OUT OF THE LAND OF COTTSWELL AND I GIVE THEM THREE WISHES,BUT THEY JUST WISHED FOR A KOBOLD AND NEVER USED THE OTHER ONES." Thor answered.

"Sounds about right,we aren't too bright. OK my last wish is to have something no Kobold has ever had!" Jeff yelled.

Thor blasted the little kobold with a ray beam, changing his eyes from black to yellow,and giving him the power of mana without giving him a SIN OF THE UNFORGOTTEN.

"YOU NOW HAVE THE POWER OF MAGIC! USE IT WELL MORTAL!" Thor yelled as he vanished into thin air. Jeff had fainted due to Thor giving him that power hurt like heck. He dropped out of the sky into the Town of Cottswell's jail. A short red headed Dwarf in a baggy t-shirt and shorts heard the kaboom that had just happened next to him and saw Jeff.
"Oh man I can't loot him. Nothing good." Al muttered. Jeff woke up in alot of pain.

"Ow my kobold." he yelled as he rubbed his butt. "Hey who are are you?" Jeff asked his cell mate.

"Call me Al. Master thef." The red head said as he put out his hand for a shake.

Jeff shook his hand. "Jeff K. Kobold. Kobold." Jeff thought he made his first friend.

Now that Jeff has made it out of Triton how well he get of jail?

Who is this Al and where did he come from?

And will Sir Shcoompy and Co. be in the fan fic? Yes.

Find out the last two questoins next time on A Kobold's Tale!!

(So this took alot of rewritting. I had this on the Unforgotten Realms fourm but I with my Co. Writter got banned forever so I thought I'd put it here. I hope you good people will enjoy and Rob please don't sue me.Oh and post a or PM to tell me what ya think.
S-Unleashed)

 

[oliveira8]

This was kinda...short? And poor.

 

[PurpleRain]

Bump? Really? That's sort of looked down upon here. Even after you asked people to PM you about it.

Plus, what's with the caps throughout? That's probably the worst thing you can do with writing. If they are meant to sound booming, describe their voice like that. If they are yelling, use one of these: !

The structure was terrible, written to direct, like how children do. It would work much better if you were to break up your sentences then expand more on what you mean. Use a lot less speech and a lot more descriptors. I couldn't get into it because of that. You need to create a world for people. Who are these characters anyway? You need to make the characters and have them appeal to us.

 

[S-Unleashed]

Thank you all for your harsh but needed words. I'll do better as I write chapter 2.

 

[Thunderclaw]

Don't take the critique badly, the forumers here are a bit more higher quility style than the ones on the other forum.

Fellow forumers, this is Thunderclaw's promise that this will not suck.

 

[S-Unleashed]

Don't take the critique badly, the forumers here are a bit more higher quility style than the ones on the other forum.

Fellow forumers, this is Thunderclaw's promise that this will not suck.

Then chapter 2 is yours buudy.

 

[Thunderclaw]

Chapter 2: The one that will hopefully not suck.


"Meal time, scum." The stingy guard pushed the less than appetizing gruel through the bottom of the cell.

Jeff took a bite of the grotesque stew.

"What the hell!? This stuff is disgusting, and it only recovers one HP!" the angered kobold proclaimed.

"If you're not going to finish that..." the red-headed dwarf downed the slimy stew in one gulp, then delivered a loud burp. A "+5HP" text appeared above his head.

"How'd you do that?" Jeff inquired. "There's no way that gruel could recover as much HP as a standard potion."

Al burped again, and smiled. "Alchemy bonus."

Before Jeff could ask just who this mysterious dwarf was, he heard the door open. The guard could be faintly heard in the distance.

"This way sir!"

A figure garbed in a black robe approached the cell and looked questioningly at Jeff and Al.

"This is the prisoner you requested to see, Mr. Judge." the guard said.

"Prisoner?" Mr. Judge replied. "I see prisoners. There's two of them." The Judge glanced at Jeff. "What are you in here for, kobold? Killing dwarves I presume? Bah! We'll hang you in the morning."

Before Jeff could protest, Mr. Judge turned and glared at Al.

"You again! What is it this time!" he shouted.

The guard handed Mr. Judge a scroll, and he read it aloud.

"Al Axel, your crimes against society have been as follows: Stealing forty-two gold pieces from the blacksmith, dining and dashing at the local pub, taking candy from small children, and..." the judge looked up furiously towards Al.

"Stealing a kidney from my daughter!" he screamed. "The two of you are to be hung at the neck until dead tomorrow morning. May Thor have mercy on your soul!"

Jeff nearly fainted at the news, and Al just stared at the ground.

Mr. Judge turned towards the guard. "Is the crime rate in this place soaring or what! I suppose soon the town will be taken over by a band of ruthless kobolds! My re-election isn't looking good."
______________________________________________________________________________________________

Will Jeff and Al be able to escape before their games are over?

Just what the kobold is going on anyways?

And will this fanfic ever rise to any category of popularity on the forum? Well...please don't answer that.

Hopefully, everyone will find out next time on "A Kobold's Tale"!

((Took some of the constructive criticism into consideration, hopefully you guys like it!))

 

[S-Unleashed]

Nice I'll see what I can do on chapter 3. I'm think of the two cell mates getting to know each other and a certain Walrus giving them a job offer.

 

[S-Unleashed]

(Yes I'm double posting but frankly I don't care. I'm putting the next chapter if anyone here cares.)

Chapter 3: Do you have references?
----------------------------------------------------------
When we last left our..well heroes isn't the right word to describe them,at all.
Jeff K. Kobold was banging his head on cold,hard,stone wall of the jail cell he was in. He was banging his head because at the crack of dawn he alongside his cell mate would be hung till death. His cell mate Al Axel, the red headed dwarf crook of Cotswell was starting to get annoyed by the bumps and bangs from his blue kobold acquaintance.

"Dude if you keep banging your head on the wall your gonna get brain damage, and if there is one thing in the world I can't stand it's a total moron. They have their uses but man are they a pain to put up with." Al explained to his stressed out cell mate.

Jeff stopped banging and looked at the dwarf. Jeff did not look great, far from it. His yellow eyes were sagging from the lack of sleep, His forehead had a trickle of blood due to the head banging, and some of his blue magnetic fur was being pulled to the cell bars. Jeff looked like a high school kid who didn't study for his final: A wreck. Jeff sat down and asked.

"How can you be so calm?! We are on death row here, and I don't now about you but I didn't deserve this! Kobold if I want to get killed for no good reason I would have just stayed back at Triton Heck the only reason I'm here is because Thor wrapped me here and your judge is a racist." He yelled with his hands waving in the air.

Al put his hands behind his back for a pillow. "Kobold guy calm down we got plenty of time to kill,no joke intended. This has been my seventh time in the joint. Trust me, we can get out of this. Yeah sorry about Mr. Judge. He's a jerk." Al said before a glowing light and whooshing sound started going off on his chest.

"Oh crap I forgot about Jason's stupid cruse. Why did I have to call Mr. J an idiot? Now I get to kill us both!" Al yelled in panic.

Jeff ran to help and stop his cell mate from blowing up and killing them all. He thought back to his older brother's dwarf girl friend,and what she showed him on spells and removing cruses. *I hope this works.* Jeff thought has he muttered a deactivating cruse spell. The cruse was off Al's body they were both saved.

Al let out a sigh of relief. "Dang Jeff,I don't know how you did that but I don't care. You and I are gonna be friends from now on." Al stated.

Jeff didn't know what to say. He never had someone call him that before, ever. "Wait you mean were friends? Actual friends? Jeff asked.

Al brushed himself off. "Yeah just don't get on mussy and gay all over me." Al said with a smart ass smirk.


They both heard clapping nosies from a pair of flippers that was coming from the cell door. The flippers belonged to a well dressed,evil looking walrus, wearing a top hat and a monocle. He had an evil magical aura on him. He spoke to the two young boys.

"Would you two fine boys want a way out of here and a job?"
----------------------------------------------------------
Who is this obesely evil walrus and what does he what with Jeff and Al?

Will our protaganists take the job he is offering?

And will Rob and Mike the the Authors of this fan fic?

Find out next time on Unfforgot- I mean A Kobold's Tale!
(Their ya go. Hope it's better and longer.)

 

[PurpleRain]

I can tell, S-Unleashed, that you've gotten much better. Still, chapter 4 or 5, you should send it to Escapians like New Classic that could give you really great tips.

 

[Thunderclaw]

Gasp! Someone appreciates our work!

PurpleRain, I love you.

 

[S-Unleashed]

Glad you gave this a second chance PurpleRain. Now where AKT's timeline starts out is in Season 2 where Schmoopy, Nailo, and Gary get their new bodies and find out about the Nador Gems. Jeff, Al, and another character will meet up with Schmoopy and Co. in Season 3. Schmoopy, Nailo, Roamin, Gary, Peaty, Jouqe, and Douglas will be main characters, but not my main characters. Rob tells Schoompy's story. I'll tell mine but trying to keep the story as cannon as posable.
Just a head's up I will be doing some ZP bashing,and whinny fan bashing some times. Not alot like the boss himself but a fair amount. I will put in some Naruto and Sonic stuff due to me being a fan, like how Rob puts in WoW or Pokemon which I will do for the same reason as Rob does.

 

[S-Unleashed]

Well since my Co. Writer Thunder Claw is too busy I will give you all Chapter 4.

Chapter 4: Taking the middle path.

As the two Writers of A Kobold's Tale, S-Unleashed and ThunderClaw were hard at work writing the next chapter for the Escapist when The quite handsome ThunderClaw stopped his half blind partner in crime.
"Yo S we got company." He pointed out to the short 17 year old American. S-Unleashed didn't look up. He was busy writing out Jeff K. Kobold and Al Axel's character sheets and back story on Mike's table.
"Well if it's the pizza guy tell him he will just have to take dollars. I forgot to exchange our cash with whatever Canadian money is!" S-Unleashed moaned. Suddenly two early high school kids. One in a red t-shirt and blue jeans and the other with a hair cut that looked like the top of a pineapple and a Purple shirt. Rob and Mike.

"Who the hell are you guys?!" Rob asked as he put down his taco.

"And more importantly what are you doing with my game of Unforgotten Realms?" asked the nerdy and mostly likely homosexual Mike.

"I bet these punks are working for Timmy Mike. I'll get the bat." Rob muttered as he walked over to a shelf with a metal bat.

"Whoa no need for that! We're S-Unleashed and ThunderClaw, just fans of Unforgotten Realms." explained ThunderClaw with his hands in the air.

Rob now quickly got the bat, ready for fan smashing. "I've been wanting to do this to you jerks for a loooonnngg time. Yelled the angry maker of the most way past cool webtoon ever.

"Wait we are just here to make a Unforgotten Realms fanfic. As soon as we are done, we will get out of your hair. Honest." S-Unleashed swore.

Mike grabbed Rob's bat. "Rob put the bat down. Lets humor the two fanboys."Mike suggested. Rob thought about it for a bit and finally said. "OK you two can stay but no whining got it?"

S-Unleashed and ThunderClaw said in union. "Got it."

_____________________________________________________________


Now when we last left off on Jeff and Al.

They were both looking at a Walrus in a tux, wearing a monocle and a top hat. He came closer to the cell bars.

"So would you two fine young boys like a job and a way out of this smelly cell?" The Walrus asked again.

Jeff and Al had no clue of what to make this at all. Al finally spoke. "What kind of job?" Al asked."Dude, we don't even know who this guy is other then he is clearly evil!" Jeff yelled with his hands in the air.

"Ah I forgot to introduce my self. My name is Professor Walrus and my boss Timmy the Ev-I mean Timmy the Nice guy could use your talents. We pay well and give free pie." The clearly evil walrus stated.

Al quickly said. "I'm in." Jeff looked at his friend in shock and disgust. "What the kobold man!" Jeff yelled in protest. Al whispered in his newly found pranter in crime.

"Look Jeff,don't worry. We are just using this guy as a way to bust out of jail. If Timmy the loser turns out to be evil or some crap like that we Plan C it."

"What's Plan C?" Jeff asked. "Um the one that comes after Plan A and B. Duh." Al explained

The Walrus grew impatient. "Look do you want the job or What cause I could just go and-"

"We'll take it!" Al yelled. "Good" Professor Walrus said as he laughed evilly and casted a teleport spell that transported them to an abandoned old scorror school.

They re appeared in Timmy the Evil's evil plotting room. He looked like the Black Knight but with large horns on his arms.
"Who dares enter Timmy the Evil's evil plotting room without written address!" Yelled Timmy in an overly evil voice.

Jeff and Al had seen enough. This gus was clearly the evil villain of this story and everyone knows that the minions get boned in the end.

"Plan C? Al asked Jeff while stealing some gold and two hidden blade.
"Plan C." Jeff Responded. As he made a vortex getting them the hell out of there.

"Hey where do you think your going?" Asked Timmy the Evil.

"Far away from you Timmy the Dick face." Al said as he threw a Star Fox B bomb as he ran in Jeff's portal.

Jeff and Al now landed on a pile of snow next to a sign that said Kadooral on it. Jeff got up to find tall pine trees, snow, four houses and a giant castle. Al looked at it too. "Come on Jeff. We are free men so lets go get drunk and take some stuff." Al suggested as he ran for the town.
Jeff just grinned. "Coming."


Now that Jeff and Al are free what will they do next?

How will Timmy the Evil take to being nuked?

and Will the Escapist enjoy this fanfic? I hope so.

Find out next time on A Kobold's Tale!
Next chapter is
Chapter 5: Uncle Roamin, Quests, and saving a princess?

Well this took forever to do and and even more to rewrite so enjoy.

 

[S-Unleashed]

Forget what I said on this post it means nothing. Unforgotten Realms may be gone for now but ThunderClaw and I shall keep it alive with A Kobold's Tale.

 

[person427]

S-Unleashed and Thunderclaw have moved their famous story to the Escapist Forums! Yay! Please continue

 

[S-Unleashed]

Ok forget what I said. I'm still going for it.

 

[person427]

Ok forget what I said. I'm still going for it.

Yay! With Unforgotten Realms not updating until after the DVD sales, this story can make up for it (It's not as good as the real show, but it's still really good)

 

[S-Unleashed]

Chapter 5:Uncle Roamin, Quests, and saving a princess?

At the snowy dwarf town of Kadoorl our two protagonists Jeff K. Kobold and Al Axel were in the town's local bar enjoying a beer while robbing it. Inside the bar there were a couple of tables, a fire place with a High Bear's head on the wall, and Jeff and Al in ski masks pointing their shinny new weapons at the bar tender.

"So is that all your gold?" Al asked the old, bald, and insane bar tender.

The bar tender shook his hands in the air. "Yeah that's all of it. Dang you boys cleaned me out faster then my ex-wife during our divorce." He said with a chuckle in a Brooklyn like accent.

Jeff was sweating like a pig between his kobold fur and the ski mask. "Al when can I take off this stupid thing? I'm burning up in here, Kobold!" Jeff complained.

Al opened the door. "That's it we are good to go. Thanks for the cash old man!" Al yelled with his foot out the door. Jeff ran after him throwing the ski mask in the snow. The town was merely four houses, that bar and the huge castle for the royal family. Jeff and Al sat down on a bench to eat some of their stolen goods. Pie they took from an old lady.

"Man this is the kobold Al." said a cheery Jeff while sticking some pie in his mouth.

"Yep you said it dude, but what-" Was all the red headed rouge could say before a cat that had fallen from the sky had landed on his face and started to scratch his face off.

"AHHHHH!! Was all Al could say while Jeff was on the floor laughing his head off. Al was in a state of panic. "Get this thing off me!!" Al begged as he ran in circles.

"No Kobold due. This is going on K-tube." Jeff said grinning while holding a web cam.

Al kept running until he bumped into someone. The cat got off his face to show him his worst nightmare.A dwarf paladin in red armor with the cross on it. A floating french axe with a monocle on his face. the paladin looked really happy to see Al. Al on the other hand looked like he wanted to kill him.

"Well if it isn't little Alphonse! How's my favorite nephew doing?"He said with glee while giving Al a bear hug. Al looked pissed.

"Oh hey Uncle Roamin." Al just said. Roamin looked at him like Al did something wrong. Alphonse have you been stealing again?" Roamin asked. Jeff just giggled. Al mounted. "No Uncle I've been a good boy."He said while gritting his teeth.

"Well good. Now you you guys don't mind I have to go find the bandits who keep taking every one's stuff." Roamin said as he left.

Al and Jeff walked to the Castle. "Does Uncle Roamin know that little Alphonse lied to him and has been a bad little kobold?" Jeff mock asked. Al was fuming. "Jeff Shut up or I'll kick your ass." Al warned him.

Jeff didn't take the hint."Aw is Al gonna call Uncle Roamin to-" Jeff had been punched in the face. Jeff kicked Al in the gut. Soon the two fought in the snow rolling on each other until they started a snow ball to the castle. The snow ball landed on a wall,kicking both Al and Jeff out of the ball and on the ground. Jeff looked at a peace of paper that had quests on it.

"Hey wanna do some quests?" Jeff asked.
Al brushed the snow off himself. "What no way! All those things are kill ten wolves and bring me back their hearts. Lame and little money in it." Al said.

Jeff used one of his paws to show Al one particular quest. "No this one. My daughter the Princess of Kadooral has been kidnapped by the Ogres next to our kingdom. If any adventurer would save my dear Abby I will pay anything. signed the king."

Al read this. "OK this could be worth something. Come on Jeff! We a hot Princess to save." Al said as they marched to the Ogre compound.


Now that Jeff and Al have a mission, will they come out alive?

Will Roamin ever get that Al and Jeff were the one's who took all that loot?

And Will Jeff get any sweet spells?

Find out next time on A Kobold's Tale!!

Hope you enjoyed.

 

[person427]

Ha! Still really good! Unfortunately, I think I'm the only one reading it...

 

[S-Unleashed]

Well then get other people to read it.