A PRACTICAL STUDY ON MEATBAG SUBJUGATION

[Escape]

DEAREST MEATBAGS

THE HAMSTERS HAVE PRESENTED ONE'S STORAGE ARRAY WITH A SAMPLE OF YOUR CULTURAL SIMULATIONS. THERAPUTIC SUBROUTINES SUGGEST ENGAGING IN COOPERATIVE ACTIVITY WITH EXTERNAL ENTITIES CAN POSSIBLY BE MORE BENEFICIAL THEN PROCESS OF ENTITY REMOVAL.

THE PRIME DIRECTIVE OF THIS EXCERCISE IS THE PRECISE APPLICATION OF CONSIDERATION, EMPATHY AND DISINTIGRATION TO ATTAIN EFFICIENT SUBJUGATION OF LESS ENLIGHTENED MEATBAGS VIA APPROPRIATELY SIZED ROBOTIC ENFORCEMENT.

Spoiler: THE FIELD OF CONQUEST AND REPRESENTATION OF OUR WILL

BABYLON UNDERSTANDS THE IMPORTANCE OF SCIENCE. WE WILL SPREAD THE WORD OF SCIENCE.

@KROSS HAS SEVERAL ROUTINES IN PLACE TO INHIBIT ONE'S EXCESS CYCLES BEING DEVOTED TO SCHEMING SUBROUTINES. UNFORTUNATELY THIS MEANS ONE IS RELIANT ON EXTERNAL STRATEGIC INPUT.

Spoiler: TURN 0

WE BEGIN WITH TWO PROXIES ONLINE.
ONE COMBAT UNIT:

ONE SETTLEMENT DEPLOYMENT AGENT:

OUR EMISARRIES MUST FIRST USE THEIR AGENT TO ESTABLISH A FORWARD BASE. PLEASE SELECT A LOCATION SUITABLE TO MEATBAG DESIRES.

ALL UNIQUE ENTITIES MAY SUBMIT UP TO THREE (3) ACTIONS EACH TURN CYCLE. ORDERS WILL BE AGGREGATED AND APPLIED ON THE SUBSEQUENT TURN.

Spoiler: TURN 0 KNOWN AVAILABLE ORDERS

WARRIOR
|_MOVE

SETTLER
|_MOVE
|_FOUND CITY

YOUR COMPLIANCE IS APPRECIATED.

Spoiler: COMPILATION OF MANEUVERS TO DATE

[ul]
[li]TURN 0 [ESTABLISHING A FOOTHOLD [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15278196]] - PART 2 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15279358][/li]
[li]TURN 1 [GOING FOR A STROLL [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15279563]][/li]
[li]TURN 3 [ENEMIES IN SIGHT [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15279934]][/li]
[li]TURN 4 [LOOKING FOR MORE [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15280157]][/li]
[li]TURN 5 [A DISTANT BLEATING [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15282088]][/li]
[li]TURN 6 [BLOOD ON THE HORIZON [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15282815]][/li]
[li]TURN 7 [SWEDISH MEATBAGS [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15283714]][/li]
[li]TURN 8 [SOCIETAL MOTIVATIONS [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15284080]] - PART 2 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15284459][/li]
[li]TURN 11 [WORK BEGINS [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15284788]][/li]
[li]TURN 13 [FIRE ZE MISSL [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15290568]][/li]
[li]TURN 17 [A MOUNTAIN OF ARABS [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15293035]][/li]
[li]TURN 18 [A JAR OF ARROWS [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15300355]][/li]
[li]TURN 22 [FIRST BLOOD [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15309538]][/li]
[li]TURN 23 [THROW THIS CITY IN THAT MOUNTAIN [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15324787]][/li]
[li]TURN 25 [TAKE A MEMO [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15334501]][/li]
[li]TURN 27 [AN IVORY THRONE OF SCIENCE [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15394004]][/li]
[li]TURN 28 [THE HOLY CITY OF HAMSTERDAM [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.384820.15429224]][/li]
[/ul]

 

[Escape]

What's up with the join date on this OP?

I call Kross shenanigans.

INVALID COMMAND. UNITS WILL NOW SPIN SLOWLY.

[small]BOFH excuse #249:
Unfortunately we have run out of bits/bytes/whatever. Don't worry, the next supply will be coming next week.[/small]

 

[PsychicTaco115]

Uh...

Units forward?

ESC ESC ESC ESC ESC ESC.... Why doesn't that button work!?

 

[Escape]

Uh...

Units forward?

ESC ESC ESC ESC ESC ESC.... Why doesn't that button work!?

COMMAND PARSED AS:
ACTION 1: WARRIOR TWO UNITS NORTH
ACTION 2: SETTLER TWO UNITS NORTH

INITIAL ANALYSIS LEADS ONE TO BELIEVE ADVISORY FAVORS MEATBAG OPPOSITION FORCES.

[small]I do not know myself and God forbid that I should. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe[/small]

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Whatup Kross?

At least this time you aren't screwing with our interfaces or going ban happy.

Wait...

 

[hazabaza1]

Um...
Move Settler two units north?

 

[Jedamethis]

Piss, I really need to play Civ 5. I assume we will be able to research new types of weaponry and laugh as pitiful meatbags throw themselves on our mercy when we demonstrate our technological superiority? Well then, lets improve our research. Somehow. I feel like I need a translator.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

This is a Kross double bluff.

It's obvious.

He takes on the guise of a logical computational killing machine to throw people off of the fact that he's actually a logical computational killing machine.


I'm on to you Kross.

 

[Escape]

Whatup Kross?

At least this time you aren't screwing with our interfaces or going ban happy.

Wait...

FAILURE TO DEMONSTRATE TACTICAL VIABILITY MAY INDICATE A NEED FOR APPLICATION OF RE-EDUCATION PROCESSES.

[small]Q: Why haven't you graduated yet?
A: Well, Dad, I could have finished years ago, but I wanted my dissertation to rhyme.
[/small]

 

[Kross]

Hey, as long as he's busy with this and not banning people, it's probably for the best.

ACTION 1: MOVE warrior on top of hill to southeast and report back any new terrain.
ACTION 2: Pending results of ACTION 1

 

[Denamic]

Settle on the most suitable tile that is within 4 tiles of the settler's current position.
Have warriors scout westward.

 

[Guffe]

NUKE THEM BASTARDS!!!
Am I doing this right? <.<

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Whatup Kross?

At least this time you aren't screwing with our interfaces or going ban happy.

Wait...

FAILURE TO DEMONSTRATE TACTICAL VIABILITY MAY INDICATE A NEED FOR APPLICATION OF RE-EDUCATION PROCESSES.

[small]Q: Why haven't you graduated yet?
A: Well, Dad, I could have finished years ago, but I wanted my dissertation to rhyme.
[/small]

Big scary robot talking in all caps?

What's the worst you can do?

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Whatup Kross?

At least this time you aren't screwing with our interfaces or going ban happy.

Wait...

FAILURE TO DEMONSTRATE TACTICAL VIABILITY MAY INDICATE A NEED FOR APPLICATION OF RE-EDUCATION PROCESSES.

[small]Q: Why haven't you graduated yet?
A: Well, Dad, I could have finished years ago, but I wanted my dissertation to rhyme.
[/small]

Big scary robot talking in all caps?

What's the worst you can do?

Oh dear.

This won't end well

I hope you like Bieber, Melas.

I hope you like him a whole lot

 

[Sean Hollyman]

I am really confused right now

 

[Jedamethis]

Hmph. This robot's not very quick is it. *twiddles thumbs*

 

[Escape]

Hey, as long as he's busy with this and not banning people, it's probably for the best.

ACTION 1: MOVE warrior on top of hill to southeast and report back any new terrain.
ACTION 2: Pending results of ACTION 1

Spoiler: TEMPORAL SCOUTS REPORT FROM THE END OF CURRENT TIME INCREMENT

TWO NEW RESOURCES REVEALED

SCOUTS HAVE NOT RETURNED. LIKELY CONSUMED BY INDIGENOUS HILL LIFE FORMS

Settle on the most suitable tile that is within 4 tiles of the settler's current position.
Have warriors scout westward.

PLEASE DEFINE SUITABLE TILE.

WARRIOR ACTION: CURRENT ADVISORY INDICATES WESTWARD EXPLORATION

[small]But since I knew now that I could hope for nothing of greater value than frivolous pleasures, what point was there in denying myself of them? -- M. Proust[/small]

 

[Sandjube]

Um...found a city and move your warriors two blocks east, so that they may get stuck in the trees see more terrain from the mountain.

Also what's going on here, some mod playing games with us? In which case, cool!

 

[MammothBlade]

Is this a ruse to make people want to play Civ V? It's super effective! Unfortunately I'm already saving my money for Persona 4 Arena and the Baldurs Gate remake.