A Thrilling Story Of Shame!

[Eifla]

How Steven Fangmier Ruined My Dreams.

By Alfie.

So! There I was! Standing bold faced at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2006! What a holiday it was, music, entertainment, the terrible parliamentary building and of course the Camera Obscure. I was standing in a gazebo if I remember correctly, My family and I were in the park, and there was some form of book fair taking place. It was a hot day (unconventional for Scotland) and I was merely browsing along the rows and rows of books. I was deep in a book of my own as a matter of fact, to be precise Eldest by Christopher Paolini. Now I know many people hate Eragon and its ilk, but I absolutely love it, I love the fantasy, I love the story. I was thoroughly enjoying Eldest while on holiday, in fact I couldn't put it down; and by excitement and interest in the series had reached fever pitch. Oh yes, it was a good read was Eldest. Anyway, while I was browsing I chanced upon of a copy of Eragon, under usual circumstances I would have paid it little attention, I had already read the book after all. But something grabbed my eye. The cover, instead of being the usual picture of Saphira; appeared to have actors in the roles of the characters in the book. "Golly!" I said to no-one in particular, "they really have made a effort here", "they've bothered to pose actors merely for the cover a book!". I picked it up, and suddenly a small ticket shape object dropped out. I looked at this tickety thing and after observing the text upon it my MIND WAS BLOWN OUT OF MY CAKEHOLE.

The inscription read: "Sign up to the Eragon website and get details of THE UPCOMING MOVIE!

A movie! A buggering movie! My favorite book was getting a sliver screen adaptation! Oh galooph Galay! Oh frumptous day! I chortled in my joy!

There are no words of how phenomenally excited I was for this film to be realized, I found the website and saw the first trailer to come out.

I tell you Escapees, I tell you to this day that it is the best trailer I have ever seen. Say what you like! I thought it was magnificent!

Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI69uG0wV38

So I waited! And my friends waited! And we got very very excited indeed!
I kept up my excitement until Christmas, then My friends and I, all of us Eragon fans went to see the film, what a trip! We could practically feel the anticipation!

THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE NEXT LORD OF THE RINGS!
We told ourselves....

And then..... and..... then

IT WAS A PILE OF POO POO PANCAKES!

I don't need to explain, if you want to see how bad it is, go watch it.... But I assure you it is bad.... Not even the combined might of Robert Caryle and Jeremy Irons could save it...

And first we were in denial, "twas ok" we said "Here's hoping for a great sequel!". We said.

But we all knew it was bad.... so bad....
When I came to terms with how much of a letdown it was I was furious! How could you ruin this!
You've killed the Inheritance cycle!

I bought the DVD and the game (which was awful).

Yep.... still bad....so much wasted potential...

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD I TELL YOU!

But it was not be....


The End.
For discussion value, tell me what your biggest let downs were and why.

 

[farscythe]

the matrix 2 n 3 i just felt like they killed what was an awesome movie by adding a pile of shite to it.. animatrix had its moments tho

and.. all the punisher movies since dolph lundgren's (but that may be coz when i saw dolphs i was still lickle n everything is more awesome when your lickle.. then you watch it again when your older n die a little... meh )good thing i've not been able to find that one again yet i guess

 

[Pecoros7]

Terry Goodkind's "Confessor". I loved the "Sword of Truth" series right up to the very end of the very last book. The ending itself, though, was criminally bad. All of the loose ends are tied up when the hero unlocks god-mode and banishes the loose ends to another dimension. An obvious plot hole is resolved by the hero simply declaring that it doesn't matter. Seriously.

Spoiler

Richard uses the Boxes of Orden to fold space and time and create a new dimension where the followers of the Order (communists) can live their miserable lives without magic (they hate magic because not everyone has it so it isn't fair). Every one of the story's loose ends goes with them. Never mind the fact that the boxes were never described as having this kind of power. Richard just pulled this fact out of his ass one morning and used it to save the world. Apparently, Richard's ignorance of magic not only allows him a different perspective on matters, it also makes him clairvoyant. The glaring plot hole is resolved more simply. Throughout the book, everyone thought that a specific book was the key to using the Boxes correctly. Richard discovers that it was not the book, but his sword that was the key all along (How he learned this is never addressed. Just his clairvoyance acting up again I suppose). When asked how he came to this conclusion, he points out that the book referenced a magical being that was created well after the Boxes. "But Richard," his grandfather interrupts, "The Sword of Truth was made even later than that." Richard looks thoughtful and responds, "Doesn't matter. Next question."