Advice on how to approach this...

[bad_dog14]

There's this girl, you see, and she's really special. I really like her, and I think she likes me as well (this is just a guess, cos she's been acting more... affectionate toward me lately), but I don't know how to tell her how I really feel. We are friends, and we talk frequently, but it's never just me and her, there's always other people around. This is a big problem, cos she always seems to be surrounded by someone, and I can't get a minute alone with her. But the thing is that I've been here before. I've been with girls before, but none of them were so hard to talk to about my feelings. Don't take this as me asking you for pick-up lines or something, but just a way to get her attention. As I've said, she is very special to me, so I want to make sure to get her attention in a special way. Perhaps something that you did and worked for you?

Many thanks in advance.

 

[Amnestic]

Back when I was concerned about how to ask out a girl, my friends stepped in and suggested we do a 'double date' situation. It worked out pretty well. My friends - a couple themselves - were more than happy to hang out and then carefully sidestep away so we could have a bit more alone time. It helped perhaps that my friends were also the girl's friends at the time. There was definetly some mediation behind the scenes by the 'spare' couple.

Another option is to simply call her up and ask her if she'd like to hang out with just the two of you. Movie-night perhaps.

Two things are important though:
1) Don't leave it forever. You like her, you're pretty sure she likes you. A rejection's gonna hurt if it doesn't work out, but it's better than her growing tired of waiting for you to make a move and finding someone else.
2) Don't eat anything full of garlic. Garlic breath is not sexy.

Don't know if they turn on Christmas lights in town wherever you live, but you could invite her to go do that and ask her then, on a clear romantic eve with pretty lights all around you. Assuming it doesn't rain.

Edit: Another option- Invite everyone to a party. Assuming she doesn't get rip roaring drunk, you can end up being the last two awake as the two of you chat under a blanket in the dark. Spend the night cuddled together, hey, presto, and you didn't even have to actually ask her out.

Obviously dependent on what kind of parties you throw though, and her generally demeanour during.

 

[CounterAttack]

There's a fairly easy way to do this, if you don't mess up. Just ask her if you can talk in private for a moment. then if she says yes, lead her away from the others, preferably round a couple of corners so you won't be overheard. Then just take a deep breath to relax yourself a little, and tell her how you feel about her.

Other than that, go with what Amnestic said about not waiting around. That happened to me once, so when I finally plucked up the courage to ask someone out, it turned out that she was dating someone as of the day before I asked her.

 

[CounterAttack]

Say "Oi ***** you nd me right here right now"

If she agrees then she's not a keeper but stick with it for a few weeks. If she says no then you have ruined your chances with her as she'll see you as a pig.

Y'know, that's not really that helpful, mate.

 

[Palademon]

Two things are important though:
1) Don't leave it forever. You like her, you're pretty sure she likes you. A rejection's gonna hurt if it doesn't work out, but it's better than her growing tired of waiting for you to make a move and finding someone else.

Why is it that even if the girl is interested the guy always has to ask otherwise the girl will jsut give up without telling them? It seems stupid to me.

OP: Then ask over the internet for free time alone and then ask her when you're alone.

 

[Amnestic]

Two things are important though:
1) Don't leave it forever. You like her, you're pretty sure she likes you. A rejection's gonna hurt if it doesn't work out, but it's better than her growing tired of waiting for you to make a move and finding someone else.

th
Why is it that even if the girl is interested the guy always has to ask otherwise the girl will jsut give up without telling them? It seems stupid to me.

Culture, some women like the assertiveness, culture, force of habit, culture...

That's just the way it is. Same reason we give gifts on Valentine's Day. Obviously this isn't always the case by any means, but it does seem to be a more general rule. As a guy, I don't really have an issue with it. I'll happily ask a girl out, but I'm not averse to being asked out either.

 

[Julianking93]

Well, there are several ways you could go about this.

One way would take a while longer but would most likely make things easier for you in the long run. Try to get more time alone with her in just a platonic sense. Just go out with her as friends but with just the two of you. That would make things far easier when you finally tell her how you feel. So, I would advise just going along with that.

Or, if you just want to be quick about it, you could just... you know. Tell her now exactly how you feel. Honesty plays a big key factor here and you'll have to tell her eventually if you want to "date" her. Just be honest about your feelings and even if things don't work out ideally, it will hurt a lot more if you sit and do nothing.

 

[DigitalSushi]

Say "Oi ***** you nd me right here right now"

If she agrees then she's not a keeper but stick with it for a few weeks. If she says no then you have ruined your chances with her as she'll see you as a pig.

Y'know, that's not really that helpful, mate.

"Advice on how to approach this..."

Is the thread title. He mentioned nothing about good advice. I simply gave advice.

Try to be more helpful next time Payj, its a user in need, not being a pratt would have been easier than being a pratt.

This isn't sardonic comment showdown, its the advice forum mate.

 

[zombiesinc]

Although it may be difficult to get her by herself, I'm sure there must be some way to pull her aside, or talk to her one on one. If you've been with girls prior, you're likely more comfortable with doing this.

Seeing that you have spent time with her and other friends, I'm sure it would be quite easy to get her phone number, IM, or Facebook (if you don't already have it), which would also allow you to talk to her more directly. Although it's best to talk to her face-to-face, if PMs/IMs are the only other way to really talk to her privately, then go for it.

Seeing that this girl is special to you, what matters more than anything is not how you talk to her, but being honest and simply letting her know how you feel towards her. Good luck!

 

[Rakkana]

I understand that just asking the girl for a drink tends to work.

 

[Yureina]

There's this girl, you see, and she's really special. I really like her, and I think she likes me as well (this is just a guess, cos she's been acting more... affectionate toward me lately), but I don't know how to tell her how I really feel. We are friends, and we talk frequently, but it's never just me and her, there's always other people around. This is a big problem, cos she always seems to be surrounded by someone, and I can't get a minute alone with her. But the thing is that I've been here before. I've been with girls before, but none of them were so hard to talk to about my feelings. Don't take this as me asking you for pick-up lines or something, but just a way to get her attention. As I've said, she is very special to me, so I want to make sure to get her attention in a special way. Perhaps something that you did and worked for you?

Many thanks in advance.

[sub]Too similar...[/sub]

From how it sounds, it seems like you are mainly concerned about the opinions of those that spend time with your friend. You don't feel comfortable about having an honest conversation with her because you feel as if those words are for her and not for those other people around. I... I know how this can be. How I think you should try to handle this is to see if you can invite her to some activity that the two of you logically could spend time doing together with. What the activity is depends upon your circumstances and what you would realistically do with her, be it studying for a test, getting lunch, or whatever. The key is that you should ask her to do some normal activity that you probably would do with her anyway, and then use that to take an opportunity to bring something up.

But... one note I'd also like to throw in. If you do ask her if she wants to do something, try to be as casual about it as possible. Do not throw in "I'd like to talk to you about something" as part of your invitation, because that implies that you have something serious in mind. Just... keep yourself as relaxed as possible. Try to make it seem an innocent and friendly invitation to go out and do something. Chances are you probably won't be able to express your real thoughts during that first outing, so don't plan that you are going to invite her somewhere and then proclaim your love for her or something.

Simply getting her to accept and to go out to do something together for a little while, even just a casual outing to spend some time together, is an important first step, I think. Have one pleasant friendly time out together, and more will probably follow. When that happens... then you probably will be in a better position to take things a bit more seriously.

Please let me know if anything I have said is unclear or if you have any questions about anything I wrote here. I am very interested in how this works out for you, and I really want it to go well. :3

- Rei

[sub]And now I need to take a walk...or crawl into my bed[/sub]

 

[Ekonk]

I understand that just asking the girl for a drink tends to work.

Did you even read the thread?

Anyway: I had a problem like this once, except that she wasn't my girlfriend yet, and when I found out how radically Christian she was I gave up. I really can't stand people who don't believe in the theory of evolution. It doesn't sound very mature and accepting, but sorry, I just can't.
So now we're just friends.

For you hoowever I would suggest continuing with your relationship while respecting each others beliefs. Don't try t change each other.

EDIT: Disregard this, wrong thread. Sorry Rakkana.

 

[AcacianLeaves]

I understand that just asking the girl for a drink tends to work.

Did you even read the thread?

Anyway: I had a problem like this once, except that she wasn't my girlfriend yet, and when I found out how radically Christian she was I gave up. I really can't stand people who don't believe in the theory of evolution. It doesn't sound very mature and accepting, but sorry, I just can't.
So now we're just friends.

For you hoowever I would suggest continuing with your relationship while respecting each others beliefs. Don't try t change each other.

Wrong thread lol, apparently you were the one who didn't read it

OT: I'm assuming you're a teenager and likely a 'date' is a difficult thing to make happen. My advice is just be yourself, relax, and don't feel pressured into getting her alone. Just let things happen organically. Also, don't feel like you need to be isolated with her to tell her how you feel. If you really care about this girl, you'll find time.

When I was a teenager I was a lame-ass and just passed notes a lot.

Maybe you can send her a text message? Isn't that what kids these days do?

 

[Ekonk]

I understand that just asking the girl for a drink tends to work.

Did you even read the thread?

Anyway: I had a problem like this once, except that she wasn't my girlfriend yet, and when I found out how radically Christian she was I gave up. I really can't stand people who don't believe in the theory of evolution. It doesn't sound very mature and accepting, but sorry, I just can't.
So now we're just friends.

For you hoowever I would suggest continuing with your relationship while respecting each others beliefs. Don't try t change each other.

Wrong thread lol, apparently you were the one who didn't read it

OT: I'm assuming you're a teenager and likely a 'date' is a difficult thing to make happen. My advice is just be yourself, relax, and don't feel pressured into getting her alone. Just let things happen organically. Also, don't feel like you need to be isolated with her to tell her how you feel. If you really care about this girl, you'll find time.

When I was a teenager I was a lame-ass and just passed notes a lot.

Maybe you can send her a text message? Isn't that what kids these days do?

Oh dear. Well, that's what you get for browsing a thousand forum pages at once.

 

[bad_dog14]

There's this girl, you see, and she's really special. I really like her, and I think she likes me as well (this is just a guess, cos she's been acting more... affectionate toward me lately), but I don't know how to tell her how I really feel. We are friends, and we talk frequently, but it's never just me and her, there's always other people around. This is a big problem, cos she always seems to be surrounded by someone, and I can't get a minute alone with her. But the thing is that I've been here before. I've been with girls before, but none of them were so hard to talk to about my feelings. Don't take this as me asking you for pick-up lines or something, but just a way to get her attention. As I've said, she is very special to me, so I want to make sure to get her attention in a special way. Perhaps something that you did and worked for you?

Many thanks in advance.

If your Info in your profile is correct your 23.....dude. WTF? lol. Sorry. Even i don't have that problem and my pickup line is "Wanna see the hole i dug in me basement?" Sorry. I am insane. Go for a walk. Make a route that goes near her house, if you know where she lives. Ask her to join you. Then you should have some alone time. don't walk to long though. I walk 4.5 miles every day and if some girl asked to join and she didn't walk regularly her feet would get mighty sore lol.

Yeah, I'm not 23. I just entered some random numbers when I created my profile.