I've been dating this girl for some time, since April. I'd been interested and we were going out for small things since March, but it never got that serious until recently. Either way, all that's irrelevant.
Anyway, I chose a hell of a time to start really liking this girl: the weeks before she had to leave for a study abroad trip during the summer. She was gone for most of May, and I had absolutely no contact with her, as she wouldn't have phone or internet access overseas. Not a problem, I had my own things to worry about, and I knew she would be back in June. She came back, called me and we talked. I expressed my interest in seeing her in person again. Call me crazy, but after several weeks of being apart, I really wanted to see her again.
We live in the same state. The commute is probably half an hour to forty minutes. Not a problem, it's better than my ex, which took almost two hours.
She works from Monday through Thursday. Again, not a problem, as our weekends are still free. Despite her being 20 years old (will be 21 in November), her mother is somewhat hesitant to let her come up to where I live, especially if staying the night is in the question. A problem, but probably manageable.
Now here's where the actual problem begins. She's not exactly good at keeping by her phone and answering texts, let alone calls. She's pretty slow on Facebook chat. She's a very Type A kind of person, with huge attention to necessary tasks. Okay, she's not the best at electronic communication, I can handle that. She's busy a lot, I can handle that. It's why I like her: she's got a no BS attitude and has some dedication to something besides herself. Still, it results in phone conversations being cut short quick, often to the level of "Good talk, Chris" and hanging up after a couple of minutes, before I even reach my main point, which was wanting to see her this weekend.
Eventually we do manage to get an extended conversation going. I'm already having a hell of a time getting in touch with her in the first place. We talk about her coming up to visit this weekend, or me driving down to where she lives. Yesterday (Thursday), she told me she would talk to her parents and find out a good time frame. I specifically told her Sunday doesn't work, but all other times do, she said she'd keep that in mind. She also said she would text as soon as she got an answer once her parents were home. The whole night, I didn't receive any information. This afternoon, she finally told me she could come up here tomorrow. Awesome, I made progress.
As it turns out, she'd also forgotten the day, and meant she could come up Sunday. Apparently, she never actually bothered to remember I couldn't be available Sunday, and she also neglected to tell me that she already had family events on Saturday. So on the eve of when I'm supposed to see her, plans have to suddenly change and I'm left disappointed. This was over Facebook chat.
And then, she simply says "Maybe next week" and signs off.
Maybe I'm being a little selfish and petulant, but I feel like I deserve better than that.
It's not the fact that she had family plans this weekend which preclude her from visiting on Saturday like I thought was going to happen. That's no one's fault. What chaffs me is the way she can't give me straight answers or even be bothered to remember my side of planning things. I expressed over the phone that I missed her and wanted to see her again, she almost sounded like she didn't believe it - you know, with the "okay..." kind of remark.
Am I wrong to be a little pissed?
I'm going to be gone for a month starting early July. This fall semester, starting late August, she'll be studying abroad again, for a whole semester. I really like this girl.
Most of all, I want to give her the benefit of the doubt until I can figure out where we stand.
Any advice on approaching this situation?
Thanks - apologies if all this came out incoherent, it's just a long story that I tried and failed to condense.
Anyway, I chose a hell of a time to start really liking this girl: the weeks before she had to leave for a study abroad trip during the summer. She was gone for most of May, and I had absolutely no contact with her, as she wouldn't have phone or internet access overseas. Not a problem, I had my own things to worry about, and I knew she would be back in June. She came back, called me and we talked. I expressed my interest in seeing her in person again. Call me crazy, but after several weeks of being apart, I really wanted to see her again.
We live in the same state. The commute is probably half an hour to forty minutes. Not a problem, it's better than my ex, which took almost two hours.
She works from Monday through Thursday. Again, not a problem, as our weekends are still free. Despite her being 20 years old (will be 21 in November), her mother is somewhat hesitant to let her come up to where I live, especially if staying the night is in the question. A problem, but probably manageable.
Now here's where the actual problem begins. She's not exactly good at keeping by her phone and answering texts, let alone calls. She's pretty slow on Facebook chat. She's a very Type A kind of person, with huge attention to necessary tasks. Okay, she's not the best at electronic communication, I can handle that. She's busy a lot, I can handle that. It's why I like her: she's got a no BS attitude and has some dedication to something besides herself. Still, it results in phone conversations being cut short quick, often to the level of "Good talk, Chris" and hanging up after a couple of minutes, before I even reach my main point, which was wanting to see her this weekend.
Eventually we do manage to get an extended conversation going. I'm already having a hell of a time getting in touch with her in the first place. We talk about her coming up to visit this weekend, or me driving down to where she lives. Yesterday (Thursday), she told me she would talk to her parents and find out a good time frame. I specifically told her Sunday doesn't work, but all other times do, she said she'd keep that in mind. She also said she would text as soon as she got an answer once her parents were home. The whole night, I didn't receive any information. This afternoon, she finally told me she could come up here tomorrow. Awesome, I made progress.
As it turns out, she'd also forgotten the day, and meant she could come up Sunday. Apparently, she never actually bothered to remember I couldn't be available Sunday, and she also neglected to tell me that she already had family events on Saturday. So on the eve of when I'm supposed to see her, plans have to suddenly change and I'm left disappointed. This was over Facebook chat.
And then, she simply says "Maybe next week" and signs off.
Maybe I'm being a little selfish and petulant, but I feel like I deserve better than that.
It's not the fact that she had family plans this weekend which preclude her from visiting on Saturday like I thought was going to happen. That's no one's fault. What chaffs me is the way she can't give me straight answers or even be bothered to remember my side of planning things. I expressed over the phone that I missed her and wanted to see her again, she almost sounded like she didn't believe it - you know, with the "okay..." kind of remark.
Am I wrong to be a little pissed?
I'm going to be gone for a month starting early July. This fall semester, starting late August, she'll be studying abroad again, for a whole semester. I really like this girl.
Most of all, I want to give her the benefit of the doubt until I can figure out where we stand.
Any advice on approaching this situation?
Thanks - apologies if all this came out incoherent, it's just a long story that I tried and failed to condense.
