An Advice Thread aka IT'S A TRAP?

[Zetsubou]

Alright, I guess I should start from the beginning. About a year ago I hung out with a group of guys a lot during summer break. As a reference point, I'd say that we did something almost every day- and I know I wasn't being used (that'll be important in a sentence from now). At the beginning of the new school year, they decide that they want nothing to do with me and, for all intensive purposes, dump me.

Needless to say, being dropped on my ass by some of the only friends I had at the time kinda messed me up. I was bummed out, eventually went into a depressive state. I went through some therapy, got some nice drugs, and I'm pretty much better now. I've made some new friends, and haven't talked to the old ones in a year. I've forgiven them for what they did, but I won't forget. A week ago, one of them starts talking to me on Facebook chat. Says he wants to 'make up'. At the same time, my ex starts talking to me about wanting to meet up again, (an important point: the last time I talked to her essentially I gave her a giant flaming version of the finger) basically thinking about wanting to try our relationship one more time.

I'm unsure of how I should feel about this. On one hand, I don't want to stand anybody up, or be the one who's keeping the tension between us. On the other hand, I'm not sure if this is some kind of elaborate prank. On the third hand I'm not exactly sure what might happen, because I usually don't have a third hand.

So, Escapist...thoughts? Opinions on my situation? Delicious recipes?

 

[Omikron009]

I would say fuck you and ignore them. Don't give people the benefit of the doubt if they've given up that privilege due to previous actions.

Also, when you said "for all intensive purposes" it made me laugh.

 

[NotAProdigy]

I would advise to go along with it, but be weary and not to be as emotionally attached.

... which I think would be great advise if you could manage to pull that off, but I imagine you as the sort of person that probably has a difficult time doing that.

I say go for it if you're OKAY with them. Just experience new shit, strangers can hurt you just as easily people you met in the past, and temporally people change from who they were.

 

[hardlymotivated]

Find better friends.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Alright, I guess I should start from the beginning. About a year ago I hung out with a group of guys a lot during summer break. As a reference point, I'd say that we did something almost every day- and I know I wasn't being used (that'll be important in a sentence from now). At the beginning of the new school year, they decide that they want nothing to do with me and, for all intensive purposes, dump me.

Needless to say, being dropped on my ass by some of the only friends I had at the time kinda messed me up. I was bummed out, eventually went into a depressive state. I went through some therapy, got some nice drugs, and I'm pretty much better now. I've made some new friends, and haven't talked to the old ones in a year. I've forgiven them for what they did, but I won't forget. A week ago, one of them starts talking to me on Facebook chat. Says he wants to 'make up'. At the same time, my ex starts talking to me about wanting to meet up again, (an important point: the last time I talked to her essentially I gave her a giant flaming version of the finger) basically thinking about wanting to try our relationship one more time.

I'm unsure of how I should feel about this. On one hand, I don't want to stand anybody up, or be the one who's keeping the tension between us. On the other hand, I'm not sure if this is some kind of elaborate prank. On the third hand I'm not exactly sure what might happen, because I usually don't have a third hand.

So, Escapist...thoughts? Opinions on my situation? Delicious recipes?

Try and think without shielding yourself. That might not make sense so I'll elaborate:
Don't lie to yourself. Don't do what you think you should to soften the blow to either, act as you think you really should.
My advice? For what those guys did to you, tell that one to fuck off. As for your ex, well, does she deserve a second chance, and if so do you want to? Honestly?

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

Tell them to fuck off. If someone plants a knife in your back once, it's generally not a good idea to give them an opportunity to plant another one.

Besides, people usually don't seek your forgiveness unless the situation is desperate (i.e. "everybody realized how shitty I am, won't you take me back?"). If they didn't come back to you during the good times, they're going to screw you over again as soon as the circumstances are to their liking again. Hell, even I've gone out of my way to say I'd make things up to people, only to relapse into old habits (albeit not as harshly).

tl;dr not a good idea.

 

[pyrosaw]

Maybe your ex, depending on what she did. Fuck your friend though.

 

[MorsePacific]

Sounds like they were some shitty friends and don't deserve your company. Dropping a friend for no reason is a terrible thing to do. I'd stay civil but mostly ignore them.

As for your ex, I'd stay far away. Last time I rekindled a relationship, it turned out terribly.

 

[silver wolf009]

You said it yourself. Forgive, but dont forget. Fool you once shame on them, twice, shame on you. That and you havent seen them in over a year and you dont know what they have gone through or how they might have changed.

EDIT:
oh, and because i dont get to do this very often here it goes

 

[The Geek Lord]

It's very rare that I agree with the majority. This is one of those rare cases; tell them to fuck off.

Personally I'd say it in a much more specific and harsh way, but that's just me.

 

[Deviltongue]

Dude, run them for everything they've got. Learn to be a sadistic, manipulative, self-centered son of a ***** and make them wish they'd never fucked with you in the first place.

 

[knumpify]

bugger 'em. you don't need the bad blood it will ultimately cause.

 

[Dark Knifer]

I doubt their worth the effort if they allready kicked you out once. Find friends that won't kick you out at all and stick with them.

 

[Kailat777]

The saying goes "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Don't put yourself in the exact situation that caused you pain and suffering previously.

As for your girlfriend, I know nothing of the situation so use your best judgment.

 

[Lust]

As said before.

Find consolation in others. No need to keep friends who abuse your trust.

 

[Eldarion]

Tell them to go fuck themselves.

I agree with this. I don't take betrayal as well as you seem to.

 

[ultrachicken]

Your old friends aren't going to stick by you no matter what, they've proven that. You're just setting yourself up to be tricked. Tell them to go fuck off.
As for your ex, I have no idea who she is, so I don't have any advice.