Got this idea from a rather angry blog post in which some dude attacked a lot of the authors who write in the Forgotten Realms series (Ed Greenwood and R.A. Salvatore). Anyway, post up about authors you don't like.
Christopher Paolini: Awarded the top slot on my list not just because his books are garbage, but because he and his fanbase scream like howler monkeys at people who dare to criticize his series. I started the Inheritance Cycle in 7th Grade, and thus was far too young to recognize glorified fan fiction when I saw it. Although I found his constant stream of big words that, in retrospect, reflected gross overuse of a thesaurus, to be a tad befuddling, I progressed through the first book that, unbeknownst to me, was the same plot of an obscure (hee hee, internet sarcasm) film from the 70's known as Star Wars. From what I remember, Eragon was decent enough, utterly cliche, containing the font of Mary-Sueness that was Eragon, and filled with that trademark verbosity from Paolini, but ultimately a mediocre read. It got much worse with Eldest, whereas Eragon was of an acceptable length for a book not written by an author I didn't absolutely worship, Eldest was a doorstopper that, to paraphrase Yahtzee "could be used to beat goats to death with." At my time of reading it, Eldest was just confusing and tedious to read, but looking back on it, I realize that Paolini was also using it as a vehicle for his personal values, something that, when done to excess, is a guaranteed buzzkill for most. His atheist, vegetarian elves existed to prove people Paolini disagreed with wrong, and were second only to Eragon in terms of sheer Mary-Sueness. Paolini's homespun "Ancient Language" which he often bills as something along the lines of Klingon in terms of development of a fictional language, was explored in enormous detail throughout Eldest, though we got maybe 10 or so more words out of it; oh yes, quite the developed language indeed. Eragon also started along his route of bawling like a child at something (i.e. feeding on the lifeforce of a few small organisms to fuel one's magical power) and then becoming an emotionless machine at something much worse (using magic to kill legions of hapless soldiers). After reading those first two as a young'un and still failing to realize that they were garbage, I got Brisingr when it came out and finally realized that the niggling little doubts I'd always had about the series had been right all along. Suddenly, I saw once interesting characters and stories for the cliched, tedious things they really were. I realized the character derailment that occured for no reason other than to spice up the plot: the mentoring dragon acting like an infatuated schoolgirl, the aloof elf princess becoming some petty Greek goddess, the child cursed to forever feel the suffering of others spending the whole series bemoaning her fate and then denying the hero's offer to heal her condition, and the evil henchman of the series becoming the only sane man left in a world of retarded Mary-Sues and Strawman characters.
R.A. Salvatore: In an unusual feat for my normally slow and steady reading pace, I polished off the entire Dark Elf Trilogy in about three weeks. The majority of it got done while I was staying at some cabin in the middle of bloody nowhere whilst on vacation. One bone I have to pick with Salvatore reflects his unnecessarily drawn-out combat scenes. Everything about them seems to be trying to tell me that the author cares deeply about realism in combat; and yet he doesn't spend even a single sentence defending Drizzt's use of two full-sized scimitars (dual-wielding) in combat? Normally I let my sense of disbelief take a hike for fantasy, but when the author tries to convince me of realism and fails at it, there's a little red light that goes on in my brain. I also tend to dislike fantasy that doesn't challenge my perceptions of things, when the characters are black & white, saintly, orphanage-building good and dog-kicking, fiendishly evil, I simply find something better to occupy my time.
Also, I treat books with a reverence that is usually reserved for religious occasions, and it's always my thought that even if I don't like a book that I can give it to someone who will, however, Brisingr and the Dark Elf Trilogy (the big book that encompasses all three of the books) are to this day, the only books I've ever thrown away, maybe they can be recycled into something useful.
Question: Why was the title of this topic changed by someone who wasn't me?
Christopher Paolini: Awarded the top slot on my list not just because his books are garbage, but because he and his fanbase scream like howler monkeys at people who dare to criticize his series. I started the Inheritance Cycle in 7th Grade, and thus was far too young to recognize glorified fan fiction when I saw it. Although I found his constant stream of big words that, in retrospect, reflected gross overuse of a thesaurus, to be a tad befuddling, I progressed through the first book that, unbeknownst to me, was the same plot of an obscure (hee hee, internet sarcasm) film from the 70's known as Star Wars. From what I remember, Eragon was decent enough, utterly cliche, containing the font of Mary-Sueness that was Eragon, and filled with that trademark verbosity from Paolini, but ultimately a mediocre read. It got much worse with Eldest, whereas Eragon was of an acceptable length for a book not written by an author I didn't absolutely worship, Eldest was a doorstopper that, to paraphrase Yahtzee "could be used to beat goats to death with." At my time of reading it, Eldest was just confusing and tedious to read, but looking back on it, I realize that Paolini was also using it as a vehicle for his personal values, something that, when done to excess, is a guaranteed buzzkill for most. His atheist, vegetarian elves existed to prove people Paolini disagreed with wrong, and were second only to Eragon in terms of sheer Mary-Sueness. Paolini's homespun "Ancient Language" which he often bills as something along the lines of Klingon in terms of development of a fictional language, was explored in enormous detail throughout Eldest, though we got maybe 10 or so more words out of it; oh yes, quite the developed language indeed. Eragon also started along his route of bawling like a child at something (i.e. feeding on the lifeforce of a few small organisms to fuel one's magical power) and then becoming an emotionless machine at something much worse (using magic to kill legions of hapless soldiers). After reading those first two as a young'un and still failing to realize that they were garbage, I got Brisingr when it came out and finally realized that the niggling little doubts I'd always had about the series had been right all along. Suddenly, I saw once interesting characters and stories for the cliched, tedious things they really were. I realized the character derailment that occured for no reason other than to spice up the plot: the mentoring dragon acting like an infatuated schoolgirl, the aloof elf princess becoming some petty Greek goddess, the child cursed to forever feel the suffering of others spending the whole series bemoaning her fate and then denying the hero's offer to heal her condition, and the evil henchman of the series becoming the only sane man left in a world of retarded Mary-Sues and Strawman characters.
R.A. Salvatore: In an unusual feat for my normally slow and steady reading pace, I polished off the entire Dark Elf Trilogy in about three weeks. The majority of it got done while I was staying at some cabin in the middle of bloody nowhere whilst on vacation. One bone I have to pick with Salvatore reflects his unnecessarily drawn-out combat scenes. Everything about them seems to be trying to tell me that the author cares deeply about realism in combat; and yet he doesn't spend even a single sentence defending Drizzt's use of two full-sized scimitars (dual-wielding) in combat? Normally I let my sense of disbelief take a hike for fantasy, but when the author tries to convince me of realism and fails at it, there's a little red light that goes on in my brain. I also tend to dislike fantasy that doesn't challenge my perceptions of things, when the characters are black & white, saintly, orphanage-building good and dog-kicking, fiendishly evil, I simply find something better to occupy my time.
Also, I treat books with a reverence that is usually reserved for religious occasions, and it's always my thought that even if I don't like a book that I can give it to someone who will, however, Brisingr and the Dark Elf Trilogy (the big book that encompasses all three of the books) are to this day, the only books I've ever thrown away, maybe they can be recycled into something useful.
Question: Why was the title of this topic changed by someone who wasn't me?
