Best lies to tell kids

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SomethingUnrelated

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Aug 29, 2009
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I'm sure that most of us here have been a victim of these. Those little white lies that our parents have told us, for whatever reason. However, looking back, some of them were really great.

A famous one used here in the UK is as follows. If the music is playing when the Ice Cream van goes by, he's out of Ice Cream. Now, I believed this for a short while (don't ask why), until I witnessed kids lining up outside it while the music was playing.

But which of these "lies" do you remember, and which was the best? Post and Enjoy!
 

Lazier Than Thou

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Jun 27, 2009
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$5 says this thread turns religious in the first page.

On topic, I don't recall any lies my parents told me. My parents were fairly absent from my childhood.
 

DoW Lowen

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Jan 11, 2009
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Andy Riley illustrated two books entitled "Lies to tell small Children" and "Loads more lies to tell small children". I think one of my favorites I saw in it was "If you rub two red head kids together you can make a fire".

I once told my cousin who was staying with us for a while, he was 8 at the time, that there was a man who would just wander the house and kidnap children. But he was blind so you had to stay really quiet. The kid wouldn't stop crying for weeks.
 

John Smyth

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Jul 3, 2009
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That god was actually Ralph Richardson with a false beard (just for Lazy)
its what my dad used to say

EDIT: Ralph Richardson is an actor who portrayed god/did the voice for god(I may have got the actor wrong)
 

ottenni

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Lazier Than Thou said:
$5 says this thread turns religious in the first page.
You're on! $5 it is.

OT: "Ill be there in a minute". No you damn well wont be! Your making a coffee! LIAR! Thats it i'm destroying things.
 

John Smyth

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ottenni said:
Lazier Than Thou said:
$5 says this thread turns religious in the first page.
You're on! $5 it is.

OT: "Ill be there in a minute". No you damn well wont be! Your making a coffee! LIAR! Thats it i'm destroying things.
John Smyth said:
That god was actually Ralph Richardson with a false beard (just for Lazy)
its what my dad used to say

EDIT: Ralph Richardson is an actor who portrayed god/did the voice for god(I may have got the actor wrong)
you just lost $5
 

Swaki

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Apr 15, 2009
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there are no proofs that smoking is unhealthy, also it makes you cool and attractive.

i tell that to every kid that makes noises in a public space, your welcome world.

edit: oh and once back when we where kids i convinced my sister that every one she loved where aliens and we only pretended to love her so we could study the human mind, and once we got our data we would eat her.

it made mer cry and run away from home, and she still haves nightmares 10 years after.

i sure did have an lively imagination before i started playing videogames.
 

Urgh76

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May 27, 2009
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"If you leave the bus, a big black scary monster will come and EAT YOU!"

OR

"God is real"

OR

"Nothing could ever make me stop loving you"

OR

"i'll think about it"
 

Lazier Than Thou

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Jun 27, 2009
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ottenni said:
Lazier Than Thou said:
$5 says this thread turns religious in the first page.
You're on! $5 it is.

OT: "Ill be there in a minute". No you damn well wont be! Your making a coffee! LIAR! Thats it i'm destroying things.
urgh76 said:
"If you leave the bus, a big black scary monster will come and EAT YOU!"

OR

"God is real"
Pay up.
 

ottenni

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Aug 13, 2009
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Lazier Than Thou said:
ottenni said:
Lazier Than Thou said:
$5 says this thread turns religious in the first page.
You're on! $5 it is.

OT: "Ill be there in a minute". No you damn well wont be! Your making a coffee! LIAR! Thats it i'm destroying things.
urgh76 said:
"If you leave the bus, a big black scary monster will come and EAT YOU!"

OR

"God is real"
Pay up.
Curses. What currency? I can do monopoly?
 

Urgh76

New member
May 27, 2009
3,083
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Lazier Than Thou said:
ottenni said:
Lazier Than Thou said:
$5 says this thread turns religious in the first page.
You're on! $5 it is.

OT: "Ill be there in a minute". No you damn well wont be! Your making a coffee! LIAR! Thats it i'm destroying things.
urgh76 said:
"If you leave the bus, a big black scary monster will come and EAT YOU!"

OR

"God is real"
Pay up.
hehehe i knew once i posted that you were gonna do something like a smartass