You know those games in your collection (or have played) that are quite average or bad but you keep them around because they have some quality or quirk that you like or have found enjoyable about it? You know, like badly written dialogue, over-the-top features, or something you use as a gimmick for a drinking game?
Well, as a guy who enjoys (if not agonizes) the playing of such games, I find myself playing/buying such turds for the sake of satire and because for awhile I entertained the thought of reviewing them. I still do, and since this forum appears to encourage amateur journalism, I'll try once more. But, sure, it would make sense to bury it near a construction site and wait for a young, battered Robin Williams to pick it up and try to destroy a small town with it, but you keep it because you need -something- to pair with the opener "you've GOTTA see this."
In my case, they include the following:
Werewolf: The Last Warrior (NES)- This one stands on the border of "maybe i'm just not playing it right" and "akin to Bubsy 3D". I guess i'm keeping this one because i'm waiting for the best time to send it to the Angry Video Game Nerd and have him make poop jokes about it. But the first few minutes were laughable due to the first guy you face: who does some sort of pelvic jig and plays carnival music in the background. However, the game is unplayable and ranks among my top worst.
Spiderman (Atari 2600)- It's a simple concept. Get to the top. Sometimes you can save black people in pink t-shirts. Sometimes you can collect bombs. Sometimes you can add dialogue to the stick figure Green Goblin who moves back and forth waiting for you to run into him. I overheard my brother talking to one of his friends via cellular phone about it, calling it "a trip".
Skateboardin' (Atari 2600)- You skateboard for 5 minutes. That's it. My friend Gordon put it the best: "Thank you for playing the demo!".
Cho Aniki (TurboGrafix/Wii)- An average side-scrolling shooter that, up until recently, was a Japanese exclusive. You fly around as either a Peter Pan or his probably unrelated sibling and shoot down enemies with gay undertones. Who wear tiny speedos. I keep it because there's no return on a Virtual Console title and it is fun to bring out for a scientific response.
Shenmue 2 (Xbox)- The best worst game I have ever played, hands down. Got it from my Aunt who knows nothing about games, and i'm thankful for it. There's lots of places to go to in the free roam areas, they're beautiful, and it's unique. However, the voice acting is stiff and uninspired, and a joke to listen to. Think of Resident Evil without the horror, better graphics, larger areas, a MUCH better plot, a million moves for a handful of fights, and a chainsaw-wielding gay guy the translators tried to pass off as a lesbian.
Oh, and i'm Paulrus-Keaton? by the way. Hi there.
Well, as a guy who enjoys (if not agonizes) the playing of such games, I find myself playing/buying such turds for the sake of satire and because for awhile I entertained the thought of reviewing them. I still do, and since this forum appears to encourage amateur journalism, I'll try once more. But, sure, it would make sense to bury it near a construction site and wait for a young, battered Robin Williams to pick it up and try to destroy a small town with it, but you keep it because you need -something- to pair with the opener "you've GOTTA see this."
In my case, they include the following:
Werewolf: The Last Warrior (NES)- This one stands on the border of "maybe i'm just not playing it right" and "akin to Bubsy 3D". I guess i'm keeping this one because i'm waiting for the best time to send it to the Angry Video Game Nerd and have him make poop jokes about it. But the first few minutes were laughable due to the first guy you face: who does some sort of pelvic jig and plays carnival music in the background. However, the game is unplayable and ranks among my top worst.
Spiderman (Atari 2600)- It's a simple concept. Get to the top. Sometimes you can save black people in pink t-shirts. Sometimes you can collect bombs. Sometimes you can add dialogue to the stick figure Green Goblin who moves back and forth waiting for you to run into him. I overheard my brother talking to one of his friends via cellular phone about it, calling it "a trip".
Skateboardin' (Atari 2600)- You skateboard for 5 minutes. That's it. My friend Gordon put it the best: "Thank you for playing the demo!".
Cho Aniki (TurboGrafix/Wii)- An average side-scrolling shooter that, up until recently, was a Japanese exclusive. You fly around as either a Peter Pan or his probably unrelated sibling and shoot down enemies with gay undertones. Who wear tiny speedos. I keep it because there's no return on a Virtual Console title and it is fun to bring out for a scientific response.
Shenmue 2 (Xbox)- The best worst game I have ever played, hands down. Got it from my Aunt who knows nothing about games, and i'm thankful for it. There's lots of places to go to in the free roam areas, they're beautiful, and it's unique. However, the voice acting is stiff and uninspired, and a joke to listen to. Think of Resident Evil without the horror, better graphics, larger areas, a MUCH better plot, a million moves for a handful of fights, and a chainsaw-wielding gay guy the translators tried to pass off as a lesbian.
Oh, and i'm Paulrus-Keaton? by the way. Hi there.
