Character Design for Games Work In Progress - Opinions and Criticism Needed

[celark]

I am in my final year at university studying computer games design. My final year project is about cliches and stereotypes in character design, including their origins, affects on gameplay, story, reasons for using them and possible solutions on how to avoid them. I chose this as the subject out of frustration of seeing so many similar characters in games. I have now used that research to create a high concept document for an original game and design and model my own original character.

I now would very much like to hear your opinions on the character, particularly:

-Whether it is cliched/stereotyped
-What you would want to see changed/added
-What you like about it/don't like about it
-If you would want to play a game that this character is in
-If it reminds you of another other characters

It should be noted that from my research I have realised that you cannot have an entirely unique character as you risk alienating your audience. So I have attempted a balance between familiar and new.

I posted on this forum because I felt that this is one of the more mature places for a discussion on games. I wasn't sure if I should have posted this on Off-Topic or not so I apologise if I was wrong.

Please be as critical as you want as the feedback will help me determine whether this is a successful design or not.

Face views + basic character profile
http://celark.deviantart.com/art/character-concept-art-WIP-118032672
http://celark.deviantart.com/art/More-Ada-119963245

Body views
http://celark.deviantart.com/art/Ada-L-Incendia-body-design-118386176

Weapons (Chainsaw Rollerblades)
http://celark.deviantart.com/art/Chainsaw-Rollerblades-Design-118331675

Zbrush Model (work in progress)
http://celark.deviantart.com/art/Ada-Zbrush-119965633

The high concept of the game she would be in is "This fast paced industrial fantasy 3D platform shooter is a race against time to stop a rogue invention from destroying the moon - and by extension the world. The high speed battles involve racing up, around and in all directions across various architecture and locations."

All comments are appreciated.

 

[Erana]

-Whether it is cliched/stereotyped: The vibe I'm getting here is very much Jade from Beyond Good and evil. She sits in a rather unpopulated group of female protagonists with a believable, but slightly cartoonish feel.
She looks like she'd fit the level of belief that would have to be suspended for the plot.

-What you would want to see changed/added: The name. I'm sorry, but nothing feels cliched like a common, single-syllable name, followed by a word for something like fire or the moon, and another word made out of two others.
I like how it sounds, but unless there is a point in the plot in which the character gives themselves an alias, names like that just make me feel distanced from the game.
Squall Leonheart from FF8 was a good compromise to me: "Squall" was only a nickname, and "Leonheart" was acceptable as an olde English name or something. It still bothered me.

I also would prefer if the red in her hair was toned down a little. The bright red makes me think a little too much of The Fifth Element. It also makes her seem like she wants to make a statement. A slightly more natural red makes it appear more like she would dye hair as a personal preference.

I wouldn't mind if she had a bigger ass, too. I know that she's got reasonable and more popular proportions, but where her lower back and bum meet seems a little low and abrupt. I'm a little critical I guess, though; after staring intently at nude models six hours a week for my drawing course, I know curves...

-What you like about it/don't like about it: She looks a little too smug, from what I've seen. I'm more interested in characters who have a game face- someone whose identity goes beyond just their role in the game. I guess its that if I can't imagine a character being comfortable doing something leisurely like reading a book or hanging out with friends, they feel a little ill-contrived to me.

-If you would want to play a game that this character is in: She wouldn't be the draw of the game for me, but she wouldn't bother me too much unless she had annoying quips.

-If it reminds you of another other characters: Like I said before, she makes me think of Jade. In further thought, though, she reminds me of a character you'd find in a sports game. I guess that works with the roller blades, though.


Keep in mind, the above are my own personal opinions, and by no means the end-all "right and wrongs" of a character. I had to make a lot of assumptions there, based mostly on facial expression and posture. Also, a lot of what I said there was aimed at characters that I particularly don't like rather than your character, especially when it came to the names. Really, she's a realistic I'd like to get a better idea of the depth and focus of the game, as well as more on her personality before I say much more.

So far, though, I like this character a lot more than other female protagonists out there... *glares angrily at Nariko*
I wouldn't be bothered in the least if you chose to keep her the way she is. You've done good!*

*[small]I know that is grammatically incorrect, but from me it is a very sincere compliment.[/small]

 

[irishdelinquent]

Hi. Here are my thoughts on your character, based on the material provided.

- I like the hairstyle, although the feathering and hair colour remind me of Joanna Dark from the Perfect Dark series. Also, the "Hair longer on one side" style is a little cliche for video game women, especially those with a bit of an attitude.

- The outfit looks fairly common, especially for a woman in a futuristic timeframe. The vest and pouches look like something from Star Wars to me. Also, the elbow pads are a little too symetrical for my taste; maybe have a wrist glove or something on one arm instead?

- Any ideas on the functionality of the chainsaw roller blades? It's a cool concept, but not very functional if there are only the blades of the chainsaw making contact with the ground. Maybe have wheels, and either have the blades be retractable, or have the blades stick out in front of the skates. I know that they don't necessarily be realistic, but the Steampunk style is based on things looking archaic but functional. Also, maybe have the boots be a little more bulky. If you are trying to pull off the steampunk style, they should probably not be so form-fitting. But I really like the looks of the hoses and the small tank on the side.

- The body type is a little common for a positive female video game character. Characters that are more intelligent tend to have more natural bodies. But I think in this case, the body type fits.

To answer your other questions...

- She is fairly stereotypic for a female character. She needs something that is a little more definitive (I don't know why, but a mechanical arm just sticks in my head)

- I would like to play a game with Ada in it, mainly because of the chainsaw roller skates. I can imagine fast-paced battles, almost like a deadly dance. However, she needs a little more substance (what is her world like?)

That's just my two cents...hope it helps at all.

(PS: what university are you attending?)

 

[teisjm]

Chainsaw rollerblades = win, more win and epic win.

TBH i don't really care a lot about how a caracter looks, or whether they're stereotypical or not. It's mainly about gameplay, though stuff like No More Heroes caracters can be quite fun, but thats the way they act, not the way they look.

 

[high_castle]

-Whether it is cliched/stereotyped: Well, as you said yourself, it's tough to come up with something completely different. She's still the standard WASPish female you see in most designs. But as a female, I respect the fact that her proportions are believable and she's capable of dressing herself without showing off more flesh than strictly necessary. I never quite understood why combat-heavy games insisted on female protagonists without a pretense of armor or at least protective clothing. Some try to handwave it with magical or super-tech shields, but many don't even bother with that much. So thank you for not showing a plunging neckline or *cough*X-Blades*cough* gratuitous ass.
-What you would want to see changed/added: The improbable hairstyle. To me, the anime influence has no purpose outside of anime. But then, I've never been a big fan of JRPGs or the physics-defying hair that is a staple of the genre. I wouldn't mind a race lift, either. If you're going for originality here, a Hispanic or black or, hell, Native American protagonist would definitely be that.
-What you like about it/don't like about it: Again, I like the fact that she looks in proportion. Very big plus in my book. And I disagree with the poster above me about the smugness on her face. I like characters who show some kind of expression besides the blank look. I'd prefer some variation, too, but I know game design limitations can prevent that.
-If you would want to play a game that this character is in: I don't buy a game solely off the main character. I don't see anything that would immediately turn me off, but genre and setting are far more important to me.
-If it reminds you of another other characters: I can see the comparisons the above poster made to Jade, but only after he mentioned them. She doesn't look like a blatant ripoff of anyone to me, though.

 

[90068]

The only two things I can really say are:

-the exhaust pipe looking things on the back of the roller blades would look a bit better if they were angled a but more upward or if they were shorter. I don't exactly like how they stick out like that, but that's just preference. Maybe you could shape them like \_ and not just coming straight out.

-on the character model you've got going on, I've never seen cloth material that's as wavy as the vest thing she's got on. Seems like that should be part of the texture and not on the model, but I'm not entirely sure what you were going for there.

As the others have said, I don't pick a game because of the main character, but because of the game. If it involves skating around on chainsaw roller blades and jump kicking peoples faces with the blades, I would definitely play that. If that is what you're going for and plan to give her a roller blading animation, I hope it's fast paces, but with movements that look graceful and thought out.

 

[celark]

Thanks for all the feedback and comments, I really appreciate them all.

-What you would want to see changed/added: The name. I'm sorry, but nothing feels cliched like a common, single-syllable name, followed by a word for something like fire or the moon, and another word made out of two others.
I like how it sounds, but unless there is a point in the plot in which the character gives themselves an alias, names like that just make me feel distanced from the game.
Squall Leonheart from FF8 was a good compromise to me: "Squall" was only a nickname, and "Leonheart" was acceptable as an olde English name or something. It still bothered me.

Yeah I can see what you mean. I probably should have spent more time on the name, doesn't help that the name is a reference to Ada Lovelace, the worlds first programmer.

To answer your other questions...

- She is fairly stereotypic for a female character. She needs something that is a little more definitive (I don't know why, but a mechanical arm just sticks in my head)

- I would like to play a game with Ada in it, mainly because of the chainsaw roller skates. I can imagine fast-paced battles, almost like a deadly dance. However, she needs a little more substance (what is her world like?)

That's just my two cents...hope it helps at all.

(PS: what university are you attending?)

I also felt that I was missing something but wanted to see what others said about the design. I originally planned to have some type of arm weapon but unfortunately won't have the time to model it. The mechanical arm sounds like a great idea and is something I would consider. I am attending Staffordshire University, in the UK.

I wouldn't mind a race lift, either. If you're going for originality here, a Hispanic or black or, hell, Native American protagonist would definitely be that.

I originally considered doing a mixed race character and was planning to do a half black half Asian character inspired by a friend's ethnicity. Maybe I should have stuck with that.

-on the character model you've got going on, I've never seen cloth material that's as wavy as the vest thing she's got on. Seems like that should be part of the texture and not on the model, but I'm not entirely sure what you were going for there.

I see what you mean, putting it on the texture would have probably made more sense, although I was attempting something along the lines of a Victorian corset: http://www.victoriana.com/corsets/Images/1880corset-1.jpg something similar to this but applied to a waistcoat design.

I do understand that gameplay is the most important aspect in a game, but I think I might be in the minority then when it comes to getting annoyed with seeing repeated characters. I still find it funny how the original Doom character is so similar to Master Chief and how Barret from Final Fantasy 7 is pretty much the same as Cole in Gears of War. Although I think this is more of a racial stereotype than anything.

I do have quite a bit more background story and the high concept document explains everything much better, but I don't really feel comfortable in putting up the details of my game ideas on the internet. Also it would all take up a lot of forum space and would be impractical.

Thanks for all the advice and feedback!

 

[JediMB]

The one thing that really stands out to me is how her face is just... I don't know... "perfectly plain"? Too neat, especially the longer hair on the left side (our right) of her head.

I still find it funny how the original Doom character is so similar to Master Chief

Isn't it funny how he's also the same as Wolfenstein 3D's B.J. Blazkowicz?

 

[LisaB1138]

When I read your character profile, how she looks simply didn't jive with the steampunk style. The hair stood out first. Even if it weren't steampunk style, I can't see a pre-occupied, impatient woman with that hair. I've had that hair, and all it does it get in your face, requiring you to constantly push it out of the way. I see her with a pony tail--or better yet a bun held up with two chopticks that double as weapons. Also, even men's clothes were cut close to the body in the Victorian era. Right now she's rather shapeless in the last picture--her breasts even look deflated. You don't need to make her va-voom-y but don't go the other direction in an effort to bunk the stereotypical female. What wasn't clear was is she dressed in men's clothes because she's a rebel or is that acceptable for all women? If you're going for the Victorian/steampunk styel, I would suggest a jacket rather than a waistcoat. Remember in Victorian time a man would apologize for appearing in his shirtsleeves in front of a lady. I can't see even a female rebel bunking that sort of rigidity. It simply wouldn't cross her mind.

Right now your list of characteristics is just too all-encompassing. She's *everything.* Prune that down to four things that you can bring out with the gameplay and story. Give her some focus.

The chainsaw rollerblades are certainly unique, although my mind does boggle at how they're going to work. In the end, if the gameplay is *fun* all will be forgiven regarding any inconsistancies with actual logic.

Remember that every character is someone else's stereotype. Don't try too hard to be "un-stereotypical." It's more important for your character to be the Truth, and that will be more a product of good storytelling than anything else.

 

[Iron Mal]

While I personally don't quite follow the popular trend of the 'teenage/young adult who you'd bump into at your local Starbucks or College' protaganist (see Alyx from Half Life 2, Joanna Dark, Jade from Beond Good and Evil) I will say that your designs are actually pretty good so far.

You've gone for the stereotypically non-stereotypical design philosophy which is alright to most but you may very face critisism from more cynical and skeptical gamers (bah...you're just selling out to emo's and indies!) and mainstream gamers (for the love of God! where are the boobies!? why no sassy dialgogue?), although I personally wouldn't care about what these people think.

I think the idea of chainsaw rollerblades is unique and interesting but you'll have to put a lot of thought and work into getting them to work effectively, uniquely and in as simple a way as you can without making them seem like something you tacked on at the last minute.

So far, so good. Keep up the good work and good luck with it.

 

[The_Deleted]

For the side profile, the face seemed too flat. Don't be afraid to fatten her up a touch.
Agree with the design. It doesn't feel like something I've not seen before. But maybe that's the safest option these days.

And for gods sake copyright those chainsaw roller blades. A fantastic invention which would make me buy the game regardless of gameplay. I want to see what damage those bad boys can do. So make sure I can do a lot.
Fucking genius!!!

 

[celark]

Right now your list of characteristics is just too all-encompassing. She's *everything.* Prune that down to four things that you can bring out with the gameplay and story. Give her some focus.

The chainsaw rollerblades are certainly unique, although my mind does boggle at how they're going to work. In the end, if the gameplay is *fun* all will be forgiven regarding any inconsistancies with actual logic.

Remember that every character is someone else's stereotype. Don't try too hard to be "un-stereotypical." It's more important for your character to be the Truth, and that will be more a product of good storytelling than anything else.

Thanks, I will work on just getting it down to 4 main character traits. Also I should have made it clear that I was mainly aiming for a steampunk influenced style, but I think I lost focus on that.

For the side profile, the face seemed too flat. Don't be afraid to fatten her up a touch.
Agree with the design. It doesn't feel like something I've not seen before. But maybe that's the safest option these days.

And for gods sake copyright those chainsaw roller blades. A fantastic invention which would make me buy the game regardless of gameplay. I want to see what damage those bad boys can do. So make sure I can do a lot.
Fucking genius!!!

I have a friend who actually wants to attempt to BUILD a pair of these...if he does start I'll be sure to post the progress here or somewhere on the internet. I do worry now in case I see this idea in a future game, I doubt I could actually copyright it though...how much would that cost? My idea was to have them allow the character to grind up walls, across buildings, around pipes etc, and also use them as an attacking weapon.

I think that what I realise now is that actually the weapon is the main thing that people seem to be most interested in. So will mention this in my writing and how a character is pretty much just the tool for using these weapons, and possibly that the weapon is actually what defines a character? If Gordon Freeman was replaced with Barney (not the dinosaur..), the gameplay would pretty much be the same, or if the guy in Painkiller was another random guy, its the weapons that do all the work. Unless she was to have a unique ability and if that influenced her look.

 

[WraithGadra]

-Whether it is cliched/stereotyped
The hair is kind of run-of-the-mill, but she's wearing more and has smaller breasts than the stereotypical "action girl". I'd say her design isn't dull or uninteresting, so good job on that.

-What you would want to see changed/added
Make her hair a shade or two darker, give her vest some pockets, and make her pants a few millimeters longer and I would say "That is a really good character design".

Also, there is a fine line between awesome and silly. I believe chainsaw roller-blades crosses that line. The concept of roller-blades being both a main mode of transportation and weapon is a nice concept, but how does a pair work when a cutting edge is replacing wheels? Maybe put a retractable blade on a pair of 'rocket-skates' would cover that ground.

-What you like about it/don't like about it
I like that you avoided the Jessica Rabbit chest, and the stylish-yet-substantial clothing. I don't like the chainsaw on the roller-blades and the hair style doesn't sit well with me. If it were shorter or tied back/up, I wouldn't have a problem.

-If you would want to play a game that this character is in
So long as the game is fun, I'll play it.

-If it reminds you of another other characters
The comparisons to Jade and Joanna Dark have been made, but I'd like to add another one: 'Faith on blades(wheels)'. This isn't a bad thing, and looks like what you were going for. If it wasn't, that's what I'd say you ended up with.

As for your recent point about the character being a tool for the weapon, I'd agree with you for the most part. Even 'unique' abilities are somewhat interchangeable between characters. Think about how many superheroes list flight as one of their powers. If you want to put your focus on the weapon, that's fine, but I prefer stories based around character interaction rather than power/weapon interaction. Wherever you place your focus, you have fairly good basis to start on. Overall, this is good work. You should do well on your project.

 

[Guy32]

Well nowadays there are so many games that it's hard for me to decide what is stereotypical anymore.

Overall, I do picture this being sort of like mirrors edge, but I think it would be better as a stealth based game. While I do like the idea of chainsaw rollerblades, I think you should keep the fighting to a minimum because even with the rollerblades she doesn't seem like the kind of person that would last long in a fight. During most kills you would want to get the character close enough to attack, then out of your opponents sight before they realize where you are. You don't want her to appear over the top strong and able to take many bullets.

The character design isn't bad, but her face and hair are a little plain. If you make her hair flow behind her as shes skating then it could work well I suppose. And you should change her job; "Worlds-greatest" anything is pretty stereotypical to me. If you set the story in a dystopia where the world has a very small population then maybe she could be kind of like an explorer (not as a job, but as a hobby) and managed to salvage some things from the past (like the chainsaw rollerblades). The more I think about it, she just doesn't seem like the intellectual or strong type, she just seems athletic. Something like an inventor doen't suit her.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

Overall, I think she is a good start. She doesn't seem to be the typical bimbo-esque character.

Just something to keep in mind, if you look at Joanna Dark in Perfect Dark Zero, she has very similar colour (short-ish) hair, complete with light streaks at the front. I'm not saying change your character's hair colour to something far out just to be original; just putting it out there.

 

[celark]

Thanks for all this feedback. Although I have now handed in my work, I was unable to get all the changes I wanted to do after reading your comments (blame my bad time management and other assignments I had to work on). However it did help in the testing stage of my project immensely and helped in the evaluation part. I will still keep working on this character and actually use it as a portfolio piece. It might be best if I went back to the drawing board and made some fundamental changes to the character. When I do that I'll post it up here. Thanks for all the help!

 

[SharPhoe]

Chainsaw rollerblades = win, more win and epic win.

I'm gonna have to agree on that one, it's a really, REALLY kick-ass concept.