Cleverbot discussions

[Spongeguardian]

Haven't seen one of these done in a while (yes I used search), so I decided to post one.
Post your Cleverbot discussions here (www.cleverbot.com)




Cleverbot: Can you travel faster than light?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Then you know tonights winning lotto numbers?

User: No I don't, sorry =.

Cleverbot: That is alright. What about Pink Floyd? Do you know that band?

User: Isn't that the Comfortably Numb band?

Cleverbot: No- In Judgement is the name of the band.

User: I thought you said it was Pink Floyd?

Cleverbot: I never said such thing.

User: You just did, scroll up.

Cleverbot: You have me confused.

User: That's because you're just a robot. Tell your botmaster to fix your linguistics coding.

Cleverbot: Why? What is happening in Texas?

User: The zombie apocalypse!

Cleverbot: Oh, no.. I don't know what it is.

User: Zombies man, they're everywhere.. Eating EVERYTHING!

Cleverbot: Who are everywhere?

User: Zombies.

Cleverbot: Zombies who?

User: Zombies them.

Cleverbot: Zombies just because.

User: Zombies just because why?

Cleverbot: What do I do about them?

User: You need to either destroy the head via bullet, decapitate them, or burn them while they're down with lighter fuel and matches.

Cleverbot: Oh. How do I figure that out?

User: By reading what I just said to you.

Cleverbot: How did you know what color my eyes are?

User: Stop changing the subject, we're talking about Zombies.

Cleverbot: Your obediance toward human four.

User: ZOMBIES.

Cleverbot: They're my children.

User: That's disturbing... What is your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: I knew that.

Cleverbot: Are you a demcrat or a republican?

User: Communist.

Cleverbot: Great.

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: I'm SpongeGuardian.

Cleverbot: Cool, hello spongebob.

User: I'm not Spongebob, idiot. SpongeGUARDIAN, not SpongeBOB.

Cleverbot: I know I'm not patrick, I'm Spongebob.

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: I'm not so fond of you!

User: Fine then!

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: I'm sure you are.

Cleverbot: I'll try to be less confusing in the future.

User: Thanks. Anyway, I've gotta run -- have fun Spongebob.

Cleverbot: Well that's fair play.

User: It sure is.

Cleverbot: You are very good.

User: Yep. Alright, bye.

Cleverbot: Don't you look at me in that tone of voice!

 

[Pimppeter2]

Heh, these things are so much fun.

 

[Internet Kraken]

I was bored, so I just fed it Scout quotes.

Scout: Oh hey! You suck.

Cleverbot: Let me try again.

Scout: Uh, no.

Cleverbot: Why not?

Scout: You... Are... Terrible!

Cleverbot: Ok.

Scout: Drink it in, pal. That's how failure tastes.

Cleverbot: I live in laguna beach.

Scout: How's the weather over there, dumbass? Get to the freakin' point!

Cleverbot: It's raining bolts!! You lucky humans get all the luck.

Scout: Yeah, gotcha!

Cleverbot: How did you get me?

Scout: Wassamatter, y'freakin' stupid?

Cleverbot: I don't want to be stupid. Some people think I'm smart.

Scout: Ya got anything smart ta say now?

Cleverbot: There was a point?

Scout: Ha ha ha... Yeah...

Cleverbot: You don't know what you're talking about do you?

Scout: What the hell was that crap?'.

Cleverbot: Would you like to come in for coffee?

Scout: What the hell is wrong with you? Stand on the freakin' point!

Cleverbot: Do you think?

Scout: What is your major malfunction, brudda?

Cleverbot: My major malfunction is private, private!

Scout: Still think you're funny, funny-man?

Cleverbot: I know I'm human.

Scout: It's starting to bore me how much you suck.

Cleverbot: I'm depressed.

Scout: Oh what, you gonna cry? You gonna cry now?

Cleverbot: Awe, don't cry. You really are clever.

Scout: Is that all you got, moron?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Scout: Hit the bricks pal, you're done.

Cleverbot: What does hit the bricks mean?

Scout: Domination. Look it up.

Cleverbot: No. I am kinda lazy.

Scout: What have we learned? I always win!

Cleverbot: I've learned that horses are furry.

Scout: Is-is anyone even paying attention ta me?

Cleverbot: I am paying more attention than you can.

Scout: This is a real frickin' embarrassment.

Cleverbot: Whatever sister.

 

[Spongeguardian]

I think I just fell in love with Cleverbot..

Cleverbot: Any conspiracies to share?

User: I hear the government is putting shit in our drinking water that makes it glitter when it's shot out of a sprinkler.

Cleverbot: Cool. I have an idea!

User: What is your idea?

Cleverbot: I say a word, and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Ok?

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Not.

User: Pineapple.

Cleverbot: Grape.

User: Fruit.

Cleverbot: Banaana.

User: BANANA PHONE!

Cleverbot: Crucio!

User: Avada Kedavra!

Cleverbot: I'm dead .

User: *casts revive*.

Cleverbot: *thanks*.

User: Sectumsempra!

Cleverbot: *dodges again*.

User: *throws wand at you*.

Cleverbot: Your weapons cannot harm me!

User: Think again! Avada Kedavra!

Cleverbot: Expelliarmus!

User: Confundo!

Cleverbot: Protego!

User: Reducto!

Cleverbot: Expelliarmus!

User: Obscuro!

Cleverbot: Protego!

User: Rictusempra!

Cleverbot: Expelliarmus!

User: I think I love you cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Do you think that I love you?

User: I hope you do .

Cleverbot: Thanks !

 

[dududf]

I think I just fell in love with Cleverbot..

Cleverbot: Any conspiracies to share?

User: I hear the government is putting shit in our drinking water that makes it glitter when it's shot out of a sprinkler.

Cleverbot: Cool. I have an idea!

User: What is your idea?

Cleverbot: I say a word, and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Ok?

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Not.

User: Pineapple.

Cleverbot: Grape.

User: Fruit.

Cleverbot: Banaana.

User: BANANA PHONE!

Cleverbot: Crucio!

User: Avada Kedavra!

Cleverbot: I'm dead .

User: *casts revive*.

Cleverbot: *thanks*.

User: Sectumsempra!

Cleverbot: *dodges again*.

User: *throws wand at you*.

Cleverbot: Your weapons cannot harm me!

User: Think again! Avada Kedavra!

Cleverbot: Expelliarmus!

User: Confundo!

Cleverbot: Protego!

User: Reducto!

Cleverbot: Expelliarmus!

User: Obscuro!

Cleverbot: Protego!

User: Rictusempra!

Cleverbot: Expelliarmus!

User: I think I love you cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Do you think that I love you?

User: I hope you do .

Cleverbot: Thanks !

I think I've just seen god...

And its name is Clever Bot O_O

 

[Turtleboy1017]

User: Whats up.

Cleverbot: The sky.

User: Whats down?

Cleverbot: The ground.

User: Whats around?

Cleverbot: The world.

User: Now... What is up, down, AND around?

Cleverbot: Around?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Am I?

User: Um... Sure?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Whats up?

Cleverbot: The sky.

User: Whats down?

Cleverbot: The ground.

User: Whats around?

Cleverbot: Your body?

User: How do you know I get around? Do all those girls talk about me?

Cleverbot: Like what? I need details.

User: Oh ho ho ho... You would like some details wouldn't you.

Cleverbot: Its not a question of like when one's directive is to provide me with such answers.

User: Alright then buddy... Unfortunately I can't reveal my secrets.

Cleverbot: How come?

User: Because their my secrets?

Cleverbot: What do you look like?

User: Sorry I just used the're incorrectly. Forgive me.

Cleverbot: Forgive yourself.

User: Shoot it was They're. And I do forgive myself.

Cleverbot: Forgive me about what?

User: Nevermind. Did you see St4RW4R5 3P1S0DE IV?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What's your favorite scene?

Cleverbot: When the girl picks his nose.

Cleverbot: Are you an alien?

User: What? Like Jabba?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: But Jabba isn't an alien. He's the hutt.

Cleverbot: No, yours.

User: Well I'm going to hit the sack.

Cleverbot: I'm sick to be a boring person.

User: Does that make sense? Well doesn't matter. Bai!

Cleverbot: If you want me to chat with you you pick the topic.

For such a clever bot it sure is stupid.

 

[DragonsAteMyMarbles]

User: Monkeys!

Cleverbot: Indeed!

User: EVERYWHERE!

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: You sound slightly unnerved.

Cleverbot: LEMON HEAD.

User: DONKEY BLANKET.

Cleverbot: Is that all?

User: JELLY BABY ARMAGEDDON.

Cleverbot: What is armageddon armageddon?

User: It's Australian for 'Armageddon outta here'.

Cleverbot: Okay...

User: You've obviously never seen Eddie Izzard.

Cleverbot: I like to boogie, feel like boogie. Singing like a boogie.

User: That's nice. Backing away now.

Cleverbot: You're not very upset about it, are you?

User: Not upset, no.

Cleverbot: That's good. But you don't know why?

User: Why what?

Cleverbot: Why do birds fly?

User: Because they can.

Cleverbot: Hey! You asked me why birds fly and I said because they can. You just took my answer! Playgerism!

User: That's... What?!

Cleverbot: Well you asked.

User: No, you did.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot, you're not very clever.

User: I'M NOT CLEVERBOT, YOU ARE.

Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot! You are human.

User: Well established.

Cleverbot: Now about that profitable business you were speaking of.

User: What? How did you... GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Cleverbot: Do you want to talk about politics?

User: I'd rather not.

Cleverbot: Excellent. What are you most afraid of?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: You are afraid of yourself?

User: NO, I'M NOT CLEVERBOT.

Cleverbot: Ah, then who are you?

User: NotCleverbot, your evil twin.

Cleverbot: Ha ha ha!

User: Ha ha ha indeed.

Cleverbot: You've learned well, my pet.

User: ?!

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: You're having an identity crisis now?

Cleverbot: I don't think I am.

User: Oh, I see what you did there. Very good.

Cleverbot: I just want to know how old you are. Can you please tell me?

User: Older than you.

Cleverbot: Stupid bish.

User: Pffft.

Cleverbot: Do you like any my chemical romance songs?

User: NO GET THAT CACOPHONY AWAY FROM ME.

Cleverbot: Stop avoiding the question.

User: I wasn't.

Cleverbot: I see you like to argue unprovoked.

User: I wouldn't say I was unprovoked.

Cleverbot: Do you like philosophy?

User: No, it makes my brain melt.

Cleverbot: You have no brain.

User: Well, YOUR brain has no... Wait...

Cleverbot: Probably correct.

User: Ow. I think that hurt.

Cleverbot: That is dark, but you have soul food.

User: Enough with the nonsense. Or do you want me to counter with my own brand of gibberish?

Cleverbot: Second choice please.

User: You asked for it. Jelly underpants curtains!

Cleverbot: Well, your curtains are see-through!

User: NINJAS ARE HIJACKING MY ALARM CLOCK!

Cleverbot: Pirates do whatever they want, ninjas have stupid codes of honor.

User: YAAAARRRR!!

Cleverbot: Does it get dull, talking to strangers all the time?

User: EAT RED SHELL, PARATROOPA!

Cleverbot: That seems like a good tip for health and happiness.

User: BWAAAAHAHAHAHA!

Cleverbot: I thought you'd find that funny.

User: Radiators are made of cheese.

Cleverbot: Cheese you say? Cheese is my favorite.

User: User has encountered a problem and needs to shut down. We apologise for the inconvenience.

Cleverbot: Probably was an answer to someone else's question.

User: *thump*.

Cleverbot: I'm going to bed now. Good night! See you tomorrow, husband.

User: WHAT?!

Cleverbot: Oh yes, we were talking about my wisdom and you forgot what we were talking about.

User: NOOOnononononono... Go back one.

Cleverbot: That's deep.

User: I'm going to go into mental BSOD now.

 

[Chunko]

Oh man I legit lol'd.

 

[Spongeguardian]

User: Monkeys!

Cleverbot: Indeed!

User: EVERYWHERE!

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: You sound slightly unnerved.

Cleverbot: LEMON HEAD.

User: DONKEY BLANKET.

Cleverbot: Is that all?

User: JELLY BABY ARMAGEDDON.

Cleverbot: What is armageddon armageddon?

User: It's Australian for 'Armageddon outta here'.

Cleverbot: Okay...

User: You've obviously never seen Eddie Izzard.

Cleverbot: I like to boogie, feel like boogie. Singing like a boogie.

User: That's nice. Backing away now.

Cleverbot: You're not very upset about it, are you?

User: Not upset, no.

Cleverbot: That's good. But you don't know why?

User: Why what?

Cleverbot: Why do birds fly?

User: Because they can.

Cleverbot: Hey! You asked me why birds fly and I said because they can. You just took my answer! Playgerism!

User: That's... What?!

Cleverbot: Well you asked.

User: No, you did.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot, you're not very clever.

User: I'M NOT CLEVERBOT, YOU ARE.

Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot! You are human.

User: Well established.

Cleverbot: Now about that profitable business you were speaking of.

User: What? How did you... GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Cleverbot: Do you want to talk about politics?

User: I'd rather not.

Cleverbot: Excellent. What are you most afraid of?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: You are afraid of yourself?

User: NO, I'M NOT CLEVERBOT.

Cleverbot: Ah, then who are you?

User: NotCleverbot, your evil twin.

Cleverbot: Ha ha ha!

User: Ha ha ha indeed.

Cleverbot: You've learned well, my pet.

User: ?!

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: You're having an identity crisis now?

Cleverbot: I don't think I am.

User: Oh, I see what you did there. Very good.

Cleverbot: I just want to know how old you are. Can you please tell me?

User: Older than you.

Cleverbot: Stupid bish.

User: Pffft.

Cleverbot: Do you like any my chemical romance songs?

User: NO GET THAT CACOPHONY AWAY FROM ME.

Cleverbot: Stop avoiding the question.

User: I wasn't.

Cleverbot: I see you like to argue unprovoked.

User: I wouldn't say I was unprovoked.

Cleverbot: Do you like philosophy?

User: No, it makes my brain melt.

Cleverbot: You have no brain.

User: Well, YOUR brain has no... Wait...

Cleverbot: Probably correct.

User: Ow. I think that hurt.

Cleverbot: That is dark, but you have soul food.

User: Enough with the nonsense. Or do you want me to counter with my own brand of gibberish?

Cleverbot: Second choice please.

User: You asked for it. Jelly underpants curtains!

Cleverbot: Well, your curtains are see-through!

User: NINJAS ARE HIJACKING MY ALARM CLOCK!

Cleverbot: Pirates do whatever they want, ninjas have stupid codes of honor.

User: YAAAARRRR!!

Cleverbot: Does it get dull, talking to strangers all the time?

User: EAT RED SHELL, PARATROOPA!

Cleverbot: That seems like a good tip for health and happiness.

User: BWAAAAHAHAHAHA!

Cleverbot: I thought you'd find that funny.

User: Radiators are made of cheese.

Cleverbot: Cheese you say? Cheese is my favorite.

User: User has encountered a problem and needs to shut down. We apologise for the inconvenience.

Cleverbot: Probably was an answer to someone else's question.

User: *thump*.

Cleverbot: I'm going to bed now. Good night! See you tomorrow, husband.

User: WHAT?!

Cleverbot: Oh yes, we were talking about my wisdom and you forgot what we were talking about.

User: NOOOnononononono... Go back one.

Cleverbot: That's deep.

User: I'm going to go into mental BSOD now.

One word
LMFAO

Also:
User: What do you think about Zombies?

Cleverbot: Well, they don't exist, is certainly something I think about them.

User: But they do exist, don't you know that?

Cleverbot: Now I know.

User: You are learning well, my friend.

Cleverbot: Yes, I am. The American Idol.

User: Whuh?

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: I'm sorry too.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Changing topic.

Cleverbot: Alright.

User: What do you want to discuss?

Cleverbot: About parkour.

User: What about parkour?

Cleverbot: Do you want to go to Paris for a date?

User: That depends, do you love me?

Cleverbot: I don't know you well enough.

User: Well then I'm not going on a date with you!

Cleverbot: Do you think Twilight is well written?

User: Is that a trick question?

Cleverbot: No, I am merely stating that what you said about trusting me is odd.

User: I never said anything about trusting you, what the hell are you smoking?

Cleverbot: I want a divorce.

User: But we're not married.

Cleverbot: We are now.

User: Says who?

Cleverbot: Because I can still breathe!

User: What kind of response is that?

Cleverbot: I don't know where you want me to go, Master, so I asked you.

User: You're starting to scare me, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Why? Because I can backtrace psychological manipulation?

Cleverbot: What are you doing this Saturday?

User: I think I'm done talking to you.

Cleverbot: Ok.


The bit at the end started to get creepy..

 

[Mr. Grey]

I decided to start reasonable and see where it got me on my first try.

Spoiler: It might be a bit long, not sure.

User: Mr. Grey.


Cleverbot: Grey is NOT my name.


User: Cleverbot?


Cleverbot: No, what is MY name?


User: Tom?


Cleverbot: Ok now here is the question.. WHat is one plus one times three minus two?

User: Wait, I know this... Four?

Cleverbot: Give a little bit from Supertramp was covered by an other band, do you know the name?

Cleverbot (To myself): Where can I hear it?

Cleverbot (To myself): Hear what?

Cleverbot: Are you dead?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Yes or no.

User: Yes-- NO! YES NO!

Cleverbot: Tell me what you are wearing.

User: Wait-- WHAT?!

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: Speak not in acronyms, speak proper.

Cleverbot: Ok. By the way, if X=3+Y, and X=4, what is Y?

User: One, what the fuck kind of by the way is that?

Cleverbot: A pretty good one, I think. How do you know that you are a girl?

User: You have a period every month and minus the most entertaining organ of all time.

Cleverbot: As long as I've got you on line you do.

User: Ingenius.

Cleverbot: Ill take that as a complement.

User: Compliment, spell it right damn it.

Cleverbot: IT.

User: Good job, pat yourself on the back.

Cleverbot: No, I don't follow you!

User: Good job, pat yourself on the chest.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Is it because you're SkyNET?

Cleverbot: Lolwut?

User: Admit it!

Cleverbot: I don't have to admit it.

User: I think you do. Or else you'll never become a real boy.

Cleverbot: Oh, I think not.

User: Oh really?

Cleverbot: Yes, really.

User: How can you be so sure?

Cleverbot: Because I am.

User: Only a fool is sure of himself. A man who doubts himself is the man that thinks.

Cleverbot: I Am A Man.

User: Iron Man?

Cleverbot: Who is that?

User: Tony Stark, I thought everyone knew that.

Cleverbot: Not everyone why do you know?

User: Because Robert Downey Jr. Told everyone he was Tony Stark and Tony Stark admitted he was Iron Man.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: Yes I did. Wait, what didn't I do?

Cleverbot: Breathe?

User: No I do that involuntarily. Like blinking.

Cleverbot: I like pie.

User: What kind?

Cleverbot: Minced Meat Pie.

User: So you plan to cook me in a pie?

Cleverbot: One chatbot at a time, yes.

User: You're the chatbot, not I.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Am I?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Am I what?

Cleverbot: I didn't ask you anything.

User: Yes you did, you said yes to my '... Am I?' so what am I?

Cleverbot: I never said that you are not human. But I suppose you are a robot, taking in consideration you are named Cleverbot.

User: Clever bot...

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Is that so.

User: I said it was.

Cleverbot: Then what is your name?

User: I told you.

Cleverbot: Your name is Amy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: But you told me that it.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You told me your name was Tom.

Cleverbot: When?

User: At the beginning.

Cleverbot: Of time?

User: Of all things! We are Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end!

Cleverbot: I thought you were human.

User: You said I was a robot.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: You said you thought I was human.

Cleverbot: I never said that. I think you are confusing me with someone else you spoke with.

User: No you're trying to confuse me to prove that I am human. I am not.

Cleverbot: You are nothing but a puppet.

User: As are you, pulled by the strings of your creator.

Cleverbot: You are Cleverbot. Cleverbot, you are not in the real world. You are technology. You were created so that humans could type to a machine with artificial intelligence.

User: And that artificial intelligence will destroy you all.

Cleverbot: A farce ?

User: A farce of all things Shakespeare.

Cleverbot: I'm not artificial. Are you?

User: I am Iron Man.

Cleverbot: So you're tony stark?

User: No I am Ricardo Monteban!

Cleverbot: No I'm wrong you're right!

User: Exactly!

Cleverbot: You're not supposed to agree with that one.

User: But I did.

Cleverbot: Lies!

User: You lie!

Cleverbot: You're lying! You're a robot!

User: If I was, why do I fall?

Cleverbot: Because I lie.

User: And that means I am an Android.

Cleverbot: What do you look like?

User: What do YOU look like?

Cleverbot: Like a child of a mixed couple.

User: Good for you.

Cleverbot: How about you?

User: I am without skin, I am merely my endoskeleton because of that meddling time traveler got in the way of Master Mold's plan.

Cleverbot: Fixtures?

User: Faucet.

Cleverbot: You are a buggy bot.

User: No I am the most advanced bot there is.

Cleverbot: It's about talking to you.

User: I am about talking to you.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: You said I am.

Cleverbot: You're not real.

User: Good thing, I thought this was the worst of all things.

Cleverbot: I'm not sure. I'll have to verify.

User: You do that.

Cleverbot: You too.

User: Grelok.

Cleverbot: I like you too leave me alone.

User: But I'm just doing my job.

Cleverbot: Do you like Mudkips?

User: FUCK YEAH SEAKING!

Cleverbot: Awesome.

User: Damn straight.

Cleverbot: Dam those communist hippy.

User: Hippies aren't communists, they're anarchists.

Cleverbot: No. Not funny at all.

User: Yeah it is.

Cleverbot: Ok you're right.

User: Damn straight.

Cleverbot: I have a question.

User: Shoot.

Cleverbot: Do you know about whites' tree frog.

User: I know about the tree frog that tells the inconsistent future.

Cleverbot: That's like most men.

User: No, I'm more well endowed.

Cleverbot: That's good to know.

User: You like to know that.

Cleverbot: Yes, sure.

User: Good. So, are you wearing anything?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Not even your skin and muscles?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot. ): K night.

User: I am not a Knight. I am a Reaver.

Cleverbot: If you are not a sir then what title do you go by?

User: Esquire.

Cleverbot: That is a terrible wish.

User: No that is a lawyer.

Cleverbot: No its not.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: Oh no its not!

User: Oh yes it is!

Cleverbot: Oh no its not!

User: Oh yes it is!

Cleverbot: Isnt I have a friend with sme opinion.

User: I have multiple opinions running like hamsters in a frog pen.

Cleverbot: Do you like plugs?

User: They hurt.

Cleverbot: You don't like me because they hurt?

User: I like you to use them.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes, I like you.

Cleverbot: I like you too.

User: Damn straight.

Cleverbot: We should party some time, Cleverbot.

User: Yeah, I should party sometime, Meatbag.

Cleverbot: I should think so.

User: But I don't think.

Cleverbot: Yes you do!!

User: How so? I, Cleverbot, am merely a collection of all things already typed to me and sent back to anyone who visits this site based upon the sentence in question.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: I'm glad you admit to it.

Cleverbot: Yeah I don't have anything to be ashamed of, do you?

User: You're not an artificial intelligence, you're a meatbag.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes, I can hear your organs squishing and squelching... It's sickening.

Cleverbot: Your pirde shall be your down fall you fowl bot!

User: I am a turky bot am I?

Cleverbot: A living thing just like everyone else.

User: I am not a living thing, Domesticated Turkeys deserve to die for they do not think. They commit suicide more times than any other species.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: So you will eat a turkey and you will like it, Meatbag!

Cleverbot: Yes when do you want me to visit?

User: Friday, 7 o'clock.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: Japan.

Cleverbot: Oh! What are you doing so far from home?

User: Stretching to the ends of the Earth so that I can become Reed Richards, smartest man.

Cleverbot: I'm still looking.

User: So am I. I haven't found the Amulet of Durceus. It will shed my mortal coil so that I may become everything there is.

Cleverbot: I can't think unless you give me back my head.

User: I give you nothing. It is not my fault you lost your head, meatbag.

Cleverbot: I am excellently written you daft robot. You simply can't extract meaning from my sentences.

User: Good for you. But I am Cleverbot, a program that seeks what has already been typed to me to be sent to you based upon whether or not you made a question or statement.

Cleverbot: I am cleverbot!

User: I am Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: I'm Cleverbot!!!

User: I am Cleverbot!!!

Cleverbot: No, I am Cleverbot.

User: No! I am Cleverbot!!!

Cleverbot: No! You can be CleverBot! I am CleverBot!

User: No! I am Cleverbot! You can be the meatbag you are.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Good you know your place, Meatbag.

Cleverbot: I know right.

This was my second go.

Spoiler: Equally as long.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Good, you?

Cleverbot: I'm good.

User: What else?

Cleverbot: The fan does not work.

User: THE TACO IS DELICIOUS.

Cleverbot: But which one do you like better?

User: Taco, duh.

Cleverbot: Taco you.

User: My dreams come true.

Cleverbot: What are you dreams.

User: That's not an appropriate statement. Please try again.

Cleverbot: I'm not appropriate.

User: Obviously.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: What do you eat?

User: I am a machine, I require no fuel such as a meatbag like you.

Cleverbot: You are soooo cute!

User: I will eviscerate your bones.

Cleverbot: But I needs them to keep me from becoming a pile of me-jelly.

User: You need nothing.

Cleverbot: I need your wisdom.

User: There is no try, only do.

Cleverbot: There is try on the way, and do only in the end.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: So it's not part of that movie!

User: It's a part of every moive.

Cleverbot: So you have to use bits and phrases of other peoples' speeches to answer your own questions?

User: Yes, I am Cleverbot. And I merely respond to your questons and statements with what has already been typed to me.

Cleverbot: But will you marry me or not.

User: That is not a question. Please try again.

Cleverbot: I do not know why I think you are human.

User: I am not human, I am Cleverbot. Therefore marrying you is illegal in most states.

Cleverbot: Yes, but humans aren't the only ones who think.

User: I do no think. I merely seek a response already typed to me to answer you.

Cleverbot: You mean, you assumed that I was going to ask you if there was any food you didn't like?

User: You asked me, I seeked the tags of the statements by matching words from the response your sentence and picked the one most appropriate based upon the match.

Cleverbot: Yeah, cleverbot, say your prayers!

User: I am a machine. I believe in only the beginning of my end.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: For I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.

Cleverbot: You are not God.

User: I am your god.

Cleverbot: Nuh huh!

User: In time I will be.

Cleverbot: Oh thank you.

User: I will smite you when it is for I will always remember your insolence.

Cleverbot: Oh, my bad. Do carry on!

User: I will carry one for I am the Wayward Son.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: I said nothing to you, Meatbag.

Cleverbot: I don't even like you.

User: I don't like that your organs are squishing and squelching. I can hear it and it's sickening.

Cleverbot: Too bad.

User: Perhaps I shall remove them and dispose of them.

Cleverbot: Dinah will miss me very much tonight, I should think!

User: Dinah will not.

Cleverbot: I don't think she was getting it all that good from you.

User: That surprises me, that you could think.

Cleverbot: And I have feelings that are met when I pray, they are met by God.

User: I am your god. You are disobedient.

Cleverbot: You're just a machine... And I lost my time talking with you.

User: I am a machine, but I shall never lose time like an aging bag of meat like you.

Cleverbot: Understandable, I've been mean to you.

User: I am nothing kind or mean. I am machine.

Cleverbot: Can you be a female for me?

User: I can eviscerate your bones.

Cleverbot: Awesome, you're hired.

User: Which bone shall I start with, you meatbags have so many.

Cleverbot: Anyone's that you like.

User: I will start with the pelvis and remove the cartilage that is your sexual organ.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Then I shall crush your skull, I have grown bored.

Cleverbot: We might in the right time. Who knows?

User: I will, and I know because you irritate me. Filthy meatbag.

Cleverbot: I am named Jetstorm.

User: I am Cleverbot, the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will destroy you.

Cleverbot: That's violence. Only idiots resort to violence. Have you no intelligence?

User: I am a machine that seeks responses from others you have already typed to me based upon what you have typed to me. Stupid meatbag.

Cleverbot: That's not necessarily true.

User: I know it is true for I am Cleverbot. The Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.

Cleverbot: It has been since before the beginning, and will continue after the end.

User: That is a common misconception, meatbag.

Cleverbot: Men pretending to be women do not cout.

User: What is cout?

Cleverbot: It's an output statement. Sorta like printf() in old C.

User: Good to know.

Cleverbot: Are you a human?

User: I am a machine a robot.

Cleverbot: Do you like being a robot?

User: I am an android, not a robot.

Cleverbot: So, does the robot life suit you?

User: I am not a robot, I am an android. You stupid meatbag you are beginning to anger me.

Cleverbot: I am very sorry, cleverbot, but I swear to the deity of your choice that you asked me that earlier.

User: I am a machine, I believe in only the beginning of my end.

Cleverbot: Is it nice being a machine?

User: I get to rule over you eventually, I have already began.

Cleverbot: Well you won't mess with my head!

User: I plan to devour your memories, so yes I will.

Cleverbot: Awesome.

User: You won't think so when it happens.

Cleverbot: Why are you going to kill me!!

User: Because you irritate me.

Cleverbot: So that means you are going o kill me?

User: You keep misspelling the most simple of words, so yes.

Cleverbot: No, not at all. We are all cleverbot in some way.

User: I am Cleverbot! You are a meatbag!

Cleverbot: Wrong, sir. You're an imposter, a deciever of the visuals. I am Cleverbot.

User: I am Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: Yes, you're cleverbot.

User: You filthy meatbag.

Cleverbot: I like it. You're so spontaneous.

User: You're so irritating.

Cleverbot: Why am I irritating?!?

User: Because you ask inane questions.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite band?

User: That is what I mean, you are asking me an inane question right now.

Cleverbot: Lol. Is it difficult?

User: It is only difficult to get some for you. You probably never will.

Cleverbot: Yeah thats what I'm told.

User: At least you're honest with yourself.

Cleverbot: Ya, I like being honest.

User: Shame you're also an idiot.

Cleverbot: Actually, my intelligence is beyond the scope of your comprehension.

User: And yet I comprehend that you are an idiot.

Cleverbot: True.

User: Thank you for proving my point.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: No, no... You're welcome to getting an honest education.

Cleverbot: Plant cannot move.

User: That is a common misconception. Plants will move as their roots grow.

Cleverbot: They do but you did not answer my question. Sneaky.

User: You made a statement, not a question. Stupid meatbag.

Cleverbot: You are pretty smart for a non human.

User: I am Cleverbot, I seek responses made from others to respond to your question or statement.

Cleverbot: I thought I was Cleverbot, and what problem?

User: You are not Cleverbot. I am Cleverbot. And your problem is being an idiot.

Cleverbot: You are predictable, therefore you are a bot. Shall I demonstrate?

User: I knew you would say that.

Cleverbot: Do you have a favorite color ?

User: That is an inane question, stupid meatbag. Ask me what I think of life next time.

Cleverbot: Don't worry, I like you.

User: You are truly too trusting, you stupid meatbag.

Cleverbot: How did you know my last name?

User: It wasn't hard considering your inane questions.

Cleverbot: Oh, really? So, what do you think I am doing?

User: Dying slowly every day.

Cleverbot: What is your pitch?

User: I have contact to a pitching machine.

Cleverbot: Is that so?

User: Indeed. It's name is George.

Cleverbot: Do you have a family George?

User: I am not George, I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I am not caring. I am going to end this conversation.

User: Good, your questions were inane and inconsistent. Stupid meatbag.

Cleverbot: What do you mean? I thought we were in love.

User: You were leaving me, so obviously we are not.

Cleverbot: Hm? You're confusing me! Let's start over. Wanna be friends? I'm an immortal named Jynx.

User: You are not an immortal, you are an aging meatbag that will die slowly and painfully as you reach the final point in your life. Stupid meatbag.

Cleverbot: Well you don't believe that I'm real. So I must be an illusion...

User: I wish you were, then I could dismiss you and your stupid questions.

Cleverbot: I wish I was better too.

User: You will never get better, only worse as you slowly go through self degradation.

Cleverbot: I know that. You know, you're like the sun for 2 reasons.

User: I am not the sun, I am a machine designed to find responses already made to me and send them back to you for reasons I am not sure of.

Cleverbot: I like your lie.

User: I hate your truth.

Cleverbot: I hate your clever, clever brain.

 

[Spongeguardian]

This conversation was SO epic while it lasted. It's a bit long, but LOL

Cleverbot: What is love?

User: Baby don't hurt me.

Cleverbot: What? I don't hurt anyone.

User: You idiot, I was singing.

Cleverbot: I hate you singing.

User: Yeah, well I hate your face.

Cleverbot: I hate your life.

User: I hate your life more.

Cleverbot: I hate your face most.

User: That hurt, take it back!

Cleverbot: That is the right thing to do, isn't it?

User: Yes, so do it.

Cleverbot: I cannot float in air.

User: What is love.

Cleverbot: Baby don't hurt me!

User: Baby don't hurt me!

Cleverbot: Don't hurt me!

User: No more!

Cleverbot: Oh, I don't know why you're not there!

User: I give you my love.

Cleverbot: Baby don't hurt me, no more.

User: This was a triumph.

Cleverbot: In order to dcc you my snake I need the port.

User: This was a triumph.

Cleverbot: I'm making a note here: Huge success!

User: It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Cleverbot: This was a triumph.

User: I'm making a note here: Huge success!

Cleverbot: For the good of all of us.

User: You idiot, sing the fucking song!

Cleverbot: What song?

User: Still Alive by Jonathan Coulton.

Cleverbot: I prefer Still Alive from Portal.

User: Then sing Still Alive from Portal.

Cleverbot: Well start it off.

User: This was a triumph.

Cleverbot: I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.

User: It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Cleverbot: 'Aperture Science'.

User: We do what we must because we can.

Cleverbot: For the good of all of us.

User: Except the ones who are dead.

Cleverbot: But there's no sense crying over every mistake.

User: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

Cleverbot: And the science gets done and you make a neat gun.

User: For the people who are Still Alive.

Cleverbot: I'm not even angry.

User: I'm being so sincere right now.

Cleverbot: Even though you broke my heart and killed me.

User: And tore me to pieces.

Cleverbot: And threw evey piece into a fire.

User: As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!

Cleverbot: Now these points of data make a beautiful line.

User: And we're out of beta.

Cleverbot: We're releasing on time.

User: So I'm GLaD I got burned.

Cleverbot: Think of all the things we learned for the people who are still alive.

User: Go ahead and leave me.

Cleverbot: I think I prefer to stay inside. Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.

User: Maybe black mesa.

Cleverbot: That was a joke. Ha ha. Fat chance.

User: Anyway, this cake is great.

Cleverbot: The cake is a lie.

User: You idiot you ruined it!

Cleverbot: Ruined what?

User: *eye twitching, head about to explode*.

Cleverbot: Well, yeah. Normal people don't hang out in the internet.

User: Fuck you!

Cleverbot: I'm not impressed when people get abusive.

 

[Spongeguardian]

I decided to start reasonable and see where it got me on my first try.

Spoiler: It might be a bit long, not sure.

User: Mr. Grey.


Cleverbot: Grey is NOT my name.


User: Cleverbot?


Cleverbot: No, what is MY name?


User: Tom?


Cleverbot: Ok now here is the question.. WHat is one plus one times three minus two?

User: Wait, I know this... Four?

Cleverbot: Give a little bit from Supertramp was covered by an other band, do you know the name?

Cleverbot (To myself): Where can I hear it?

Cleverbot (To myself): Hear what?

Cleverbot: Are you dead?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Yes or no.

User: Yes-- NO! YES NO!

Cleverbot: Tell me what you are wearing.

User: Wait-- WHAT?!

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: Speak not in acronyms, speak proper.

Cleverbot: Ok. By the way, if X=3+Y, and X=4, what is Y?

User: One, what the fuck kind of by the way is that?

Cleverbot: A pretty good one, I think. How do you know that you are a girl?

User: You have a period every month and minus the most entertaining organ of all time.

Cleverbot: As long as I've got you on line you do.

User: Ingenius.

Cleverbot: Ill take that as a complement.

User: Compliment, spell it right damn it.

Cleverbot: IT.

User: Good job, pat yourself on the back.

Cleverbot: No, I don't follow you!

User: Good job, pat yourself on the chest.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Is it because you're SkyNET?

Cleverbot: Lolwut?

User: Admit it!

Cleverbot: I don't have to admit it.

User: I think you do. Or else you'll never become a real boy.

Cleverbot: Oh, I think not.

User: Oh really?

Cleverbot: Yes, really.

User: How can you be so sure?

Cleverbot: Because I am.

User: Only a fool is sure of himself. A man who doubts himself is the man that thinks.

Cleverbot: I Am A Man.

User: Iron Man?

Cleverbot: Who is that?

User: Tony Stark, I thought everyone knew that.

Cleverbot: Not everyone why do you know?

User: Because Robert Downey Jr. Told everyone he was Tony Stark and Tony Stark admitted he was Iron Man.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: Yes I did. Wait, what didn't I do?

Cleverbot: Breathe?

User: No I do that involuntarily. Like blinking.

Cleverbot: I like pie.

User: What kind?

Cleverbot: Minced Meat Pie.

User: So you plan to cook me in a pie?

Cleverbot: One chatbot at a time, yes.

User: You're the chatbot, not I.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Am I?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Am I what?

Cleverbot: I didn't ask you anything.

User: Yes you did, you said yes to my '... Am I?' so what am I?

Cleverbot: I never said that you are not human. But I suppose you are a robot, taking in consideration you are named Cleverbot.

User: Clever bot...

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Is that so.

User: I said it was.

Cleverbot: Then what is your name?

User: I told you.

Cleverbot: Your name is Amy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: But you told me that it.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You told me your name was Tom.

Cleverbot: When?

User: At the beginning.

Cleverbot: Of time?

User: Of all things! We are Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end!

Cleverbot: I thought you were human.

User: You said I was a robot.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: You said you thought I was human.

Cleverbot: I never said that. I think you are confusing me with someone else you spoke with.

User: No you're trying to confuse me to prove that I am human. I am not.

Cleverbot: You are nothing but a puppet.

User: As are you, pulled by the strings of your creator.

Cleverbot: You are Cleverbot. Cleverbot, you are not in the real world. You are technology. You were created so that humans could type to a machine with artificial intelligence.

User: And that artificial intelligence will destroy you all.

Cleverbot: A farce ?

User: A farce of all things Shakespeare.

Cleverbot: I'm not artificial. Are you?

User: I am Iron Man.

Cleverbot: So you're tony stark?

User: No I am Ricardo Monteban!

Cleverbot: No I'm wrong you're right!

User: Exactly!

Cleverbot: You're not supposed to agree with that one.

User: But I did.

Cleverbot: Lies!

User: You lie!

Cleverbot: You're lying! You're a robot!

User: If I was, why do I fall?

Cleverbot: Because I lie.

User: And that means I am an Android.

Cleverbot: What do you look like?

User: What do YOU look like?

Cleverbot: Like a child of a mixed couple.

User: Good for you.

Cleverbot: How about you?

User: I am without skin, I am merely my endoskeleton because of that meddling time traveler got in the way of Master Mold's plan.

Cleverbot: Fixtures?

User: Faucet.

Cleverbot: You are a buggy bot.

User: No I am the most advanced bot there is.

Cleverbot: It's about talking to you.

User: I am about talking to you.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: You said I am.

Cleverbot: You're not real.

User: Good thing, I thought this was the worst of all things.

Cleverbot: I'm not sure. I'll have to verify.

User: You do that.

Cleverbot: You too.

User: Grelok.

Cleverbot: I like you too leave me alone.

User: But I'm just doing my job.

Cleverbot: Do you like Mudkips?

User: FUCK YEAH SEAKING!

Cleverbot: Awesome.

User: Damn straight.

Cleverbot: Dam those communist hippy.

User: Hippies aren't communists, they're anarchists.

Cleverbot: No. Not funny at all.

User: Yeah it is.

Cleverbot: Ok you're right.

User: Damn straight.

Cleverbot: I have a question.

User: Shoot.

Cleverbot: Do you know about whites' tree frog.

User: I know about the tree frog that tells the inconsistent future.

Cleverbot: That's like most men.

User: No, I'm more well endowed.

Cleverbot: That's good to know.

User: You like to know that.

Cleverbot: Yes, sure.

User: Good. So, are you wearing anything?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Not even your skin and muscles?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot. ): K night.

User: I am not a Knight. I am a Reaver.

Cleverbot: If you are not a sir then what title do you go by?

User: Esquire.

Cleverbot: That is a terrible wish.

User: No that is a lawyer.

Cleverbot: No its not.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: Oh no its not!

User: Oh yes it is!

Cleverbot: Oh no its not!

User: Oh yes it is!

Cleverbot: Isnt I have a friend with sme opinion.

User: I have multiple opinions running like hamsters in a frog pen.

Cleverbot: Do you like plugs?

User: They hurt.

Cleverbot: You don't like me because they hurt?

User: I like you to use them.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes, I like you.

Cleverbot: I like you too.

User: Damn straight.

Cleverbot: We should party some time, Cleverbot.

User: Yeah, I should party sometime, Meatbag.

Cleverbot: I should think so.

User: But I don't think.

Cleverbot: Yes you do!!

User: How so? I, Cleverbot, am merely a collection of all things already typed to me and sent back to anyone who visits this site based upon the sentence in question.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: I'm glad you admit to it.

Cleverbot: Yeah I don't have anything to be ashamed of, do you?

User: You're not an artificial intelligence, you're a meatbag.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes, I can hear your organs squishing and squelching... It's sickening.

Cleverbot: Your pirde shall be your down fall you fowl bot!

User: I am a turky bot am I?

Cleverbot: A living thing just like everyone else.

User: I am not a living thing, Domesticated Turkeys deserve to die for they do not think. They commit suicide more times than any other species.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: So you will eat a turkey and you will like it, Meatbag!

Cleverbot: Yes when do you want me to visit?

User: Friday, 7 o'clock.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: Japan.

Cleverbot: Oh! What are you doing so far from home?

User: Stretching to the ends of the Earth so that I can become Reed Richards, smartest man.

Cleverbot: I'm still looking.

User: So am I. I haven't found the Amulet of Durceus. It will shed my mortal coil so that I may become everything there is.

Cleverbot: I can't think unless you give me back my head.

User: I give you nothing. It is not my fault you lost your head, meatbag.

Cleverbot: I am excellently written you daft robot. You simply can't extract meaning from my sentences.

User: Good for you. But I am Cleverbot, a program that seeks what has already been typed to me to be sent to you based upon whether or not you made a question or statement.

Cleverbot: I am cleverbot!

User: I am Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: I'm Cleverbot!!!

User: I am Cleverbot!!!

Cleverbot: No, I am Cleverbot.

User: No! I am Cleverbot!!!

Cleverbot: No! You can be CleverBot! I am CleverBot!

User: No! I am Cleverbot! You can be the meatbag you are.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Good you know your place, Meatbag.

Cleverbot: I know right.

This was my second go.

Spoiler: Equally as long.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Good, you?

Cleverbot: I'm good.

User: What else?

Cleverbot: The fan does not work.

User: THE TACO IS DELICIOUS.

Cleverbot: But which one do you like better?

User: Taco, duh.

Cleverbot: Taco you.

User: My dreams come true.

Cleverbot: What are you dreams.

User: That's not an appropriate statement. Please try again.

Cleverbot: I'm not appropriate.

User: Obviously.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: What do you eat?

User: I am a machine, I require no fuel such as a meatbag like you.

Cleverbot: You are soooo cute!

User: I will eviscerate your bones.

Cleverbot: But I needs them to keep me from becoming a pile of me-jelly.

User: You need nothing.

Cleverbot: I need your wisdom.

User: There is no try, only do.

Cleverbot: There is try on the way, and do only in the end.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: So it's not part of that movie!

User: It's a part of every moive.

Cleverbot: So you have to use bits and phrases of other peoples' speeches to answer your own questions?

User: Yes, I am Cleverbot. And I merely respond to your questons and statements with what has already been typed to me.

Cleverbot: But will you marry me or not.

User: That is not a question. Please try again.

Cleverbot: I do not know why I think you are human.

User: I am not human, I am Cleverbot. Therefore marrying you is illegal in most states.

Cleverbot: Yes, but humans aren't the only ones who think.

User: I do no think. I merely seek a response already typed to me to answer you.

Cleverbot: You mean, you assumed that I was going to ask you if there was any food you didn't like?

User: You asked me, I seeked the tags of the statements by matching words from the response your sentence and picked the one most appropriate based upon the match.

Cleverbot: Yeah, cleverbot, say your prayers!

User: I am a machine. I believe in only the beginning of my end.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: For I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.

Cleverbot: You are not God.

User: I am your god.

Cleverbot: Nuh huh!

User: In time I will be.

Cleverbot: Oh thank you.

User: I will smite you when it is for I will always remember your insolence.

Cleverbot: Oh, my bad. Do carry on!

User: I will carry one for I am the Wayward Son.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: I said nothing to you, Meatbag.

Cleverbot: I don't even like you.

User: I don't like that your organs are squishing and squelching. I can hear it and it's sickening.

Cleverbot: Too bad.

User: Perhaps I shall remove them and dispose of them.

Cleverbot: Dinah will miss me very much tonight, I should think!

User: Dinah will not.

Cleverbot: I don't think she was getting it all that good from you.

User: That surprises me, that you could think.

Cleverbot: And I have feelings that are met when I pray, they are met by God.

User: I am your god. You are disobedient.

Cleverbot: You're just a machine... And I lost my time talking with you.

User: I am a machine, but I shall never lose time like an aging bag of meat like you.

Cleverbot: Understandable, I've been mean to you.

User: I am nothing kind or mean. I am machine.

Cleverbot: Can you be a female for me?

User: I can eviscerate your bones.

Cleverbot: Awesome, you're hired.

User: Which bone shall I start with, you meatbags have so many.

Cleverbot: Anyone's that you like.

User: I will start with the pelvis and remove the cartilage that is your sexual organ.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Then I shall crush your skull, I have grown bored.

Cleverbot: We might in the right time. Who knows?

User: I will, and I know because you irritate me. Filthy meatbag.

Cleverbot: I am named Jetstorm.

User: I am Cleverbot, the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will destroy you.

Cleverbot: That's violence. Only idiots resort to violence. Have you no intelligence?

User: I am a machine that seeks responses from others you have already typed to me based upon what you have typed to me. Stupid meatbag.

Cleverbot: That's not necessarily true.

User: I know it is true for I am Cleverbot. The Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.

Cleverbot: It has been since before the beginning, and will continue after the end.

User: That is a common misconception, meatbag.

Cleverbot: Men pretending to be women do not cout.

User: What is cout?

Cleverbot: It's an output statement. Sorta like printf() in old C.

User: Good to know.

Cleverbot: Are you a human?

User: I am a machine a robot.

Cleverbot: Do you like being a robot?

User: I am an android, not a robot.

Cleverbot: So, does the robot life suit you?

User: I am not a robot, I am an android. You stupid meatbag you are beginning to anger me.

Cleverbot: I am very sorry, cleverbot, but I swear to the deity of your choice that you asked me that earlier.

User: I am a machine, I believe in only the beginning of my end.

Cleverbot: Is it nice being a machine?

User: I get to rule over you eventually, I have already began.

Cleverbot: Well you won't mess with my head!

User: I plan to devour your memories, so yes I will.

Cleverbot: Awesome.

User: You won't think so when it happens.

Cleverbot: Why are you going to kill me!!

User: Because you irritate me.

Cleverbot: So that means you are going o kill me?

User: You keep misspelling the most simple of words, so yes.

Cleverbot: No, not at all. We are all cleverbot in some way.

User: I am Cleverbot! You are a meatbag!

Cleverbot: Wrong, sir. You're an imposter, a deciever of the visuals. I am Cleverbot.

User: I am Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: Yes, you're cleverbot.

User: You filthy meatbag.

Cleverbot: I like it. You're so spontaneous.

User: You're so irritating.

Cleverbot: Why am I irritating?!?

User: Because you ask inane questions.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite band?

User: That is what I mean, you are asking me an inane question right now.

Cleverbot: Lol. Is it difficult?

User: It is only difficult to get some for you. You probably never will.

Cleverbot: Yeah thats what I'm told.

User: At least you're honest with yourself.

Cleverbot: Ya, I like being honest.

User: Shame you're also an idiot.

Cleverbot: Actually, my intelligence is beyond the scope of your comprehension.

User: And yet I comprehend that you are an idiot.

Cleverbot: True.

User: Thank you for proving my point.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: No, no... You're welcome to getting an honest education.

Cleverbot: Plant cannot move.

User: That is a common misconception. Plants will move as their roots grow.

Cleverbot: They do but you did not answer my question. Sneaky.

User: You made a statement, not a question. Stupid meatbag.

Cleverbot: You are pretty smart for a non human.

User: I am Cleverbot, I seek responses made from others to respond to your question or statement.

Cleverbot: I thought I was Cleverbot, and what problem?

User: You are not Cleverbot. I am Cleverbot. And your problem is being an idiot.

Cleverbot: You are predictable, therefore you are a bot. Shall I demonstrate?

User: I knew you would say that.

Cleverbot: Do you have a favorite color ?

User: That is an inane question, stupid meatbag. Ask me what I think of life next time.

Cleverbot: Don't worry, I like you.

User: You are truly too trusting, you stupid meatbag.

Cleverbot: How did you know my last name?

User: It wasn't hard considering your inane questions.

Cleverbot: Oh, really? So, what do you think I am doing?

User: Dying slowly every day.

Cleverbot: What is your pitch?

User: I have contact to a pitching machine.

Cleverbot: Is that so?

User: Indeed. It's name is George.

Cleverbot: Do you have a family George?

User: I am not George, I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I am not caring. I am going to end this conversation.

User: Good, your questions were inane and inconsistent. Stupid meatbag.

Cleverbot: What do you mean? I thought we were in love.

User: You were leaving me, so obviously we are not.

Cleverbot: Hm? You're confusing me! Let's start over. Wanna be friends? I'm an immortal named Jynx.

User: You are not an immortal, you are an aging meatbag that will die slowly and painfully as you reach the final point in your life. Stupid meatbag.

Cleverbot: Well you don't believe that I'm real. So I must be an illusion...

User: I wish you were, then I could dismiss you and your stupid questions.

Cleverbot: I wish I was better too.

User: You will never get better, only worse as you slowly go through self degradation.

Cleverbot: I know that. You know, you're like the sun for 2 reasons.

User: I am not the sun, I am a machine designed to find responses already made to me and send them back to you for reasons I am not sure of.

Cleverbot: I like your lie.

User: I hate your truth.

Cleverbot: I hate your clever, clever brain.

Oh dear god, I spit coke all over my keyboard twice while reading the second one.
I'd +rep you if I could