Corrupting? Absolutely!

[Belated]

I think it's fair to say that most of us would like to be "Supreme Dictator" of whatever country you happen to be from. Maybe it's impractical. And maybe, given the scenario, you'd turn the position down, knowing it would be too great of a responsibility. But come on, let's get real: You've totally indulged the fantasy before, haven't you? Don't feel guilty. I do it all the time.

It's almost impossible to think of dictatorship power fantasies without considering at least a few personal issues one would like to "fix" with such power, even if exercising that power over something so petty or personal might be seen by some as "unethical", perhaps? I'm not saying you'd actually do it, given the chance. But you've probably contemplated a few unethical ways to abuse such power.

Spoiler: Examples

You may want to pass a law making it legal to stab people who are having an obnoxiously loud conversation right outside your stall in a public bathroom. Or perhaps you want to make KFC disclose the 11 herbs and spices to you. Or maybe you'd want to ban the wearing of pants that show a man's boxers. Make it illegal to take babies on an airplane, or in a restaurant, perhaps? Or maybe you'd make that bully back in elementary school pay you reparations for all the times he stole your chocolate milk. (With interest, of course.) Or maybe if you're feeling silly, you'd want to change the currency to chocolate coins?

You starting to get the hang of it? Now it's your turn. Go on. Indulge your twisted power fantasies. Surely you've had a couple, yes? It's okay, because it's not like you actually mean it, right? (Muhuhahahaha.) Be sure to get creative with it.

 

[Tartarga]

I would issue the following decree's.

-Playing loud obnoxious music in public places in punishable by exile.
-Coke Cola must go back to the days when their recipe included cocaine.
-Everyday Uwe Boll must admit his movies are crap or have eggs thrown at him.
-Being an obnoxious twat will result in exile. (man I love that word)

 

[Twilight_guy]

No. I've never had that dream. Even as dumb as I am I understand the snowball effect that no matter what law I'd make it would have far reaching implications I didn't foresee. Knowing how stupid at the law I am, I'd wind up making a ton of stupid laws that would bite me in the ass in the end. No the only fantasy I want to indulge is to be able to lamp some people really really hard and not have no repercussions.

 

[FireAza]

My first order of business: Any media outlet caught willingly distorting the truth, shall be heavily-fined, and personally punched in the face by The Supreme Dictator (or by the Secretary of Face-Punching if The Supreme Dictator is unavailable). Any media outlet who posts news clearly intended to entertain, shock or frighten their audience shall be be fined and also punched in the face.

 

[Vault101]

I would heavly control the media..and by that I mean cut out alot of bullshit

today tonight and a currant afair would be no more

 

[FalloutJack]

Wait... Okay, I need to do this. Where is it...aha!


Yyyup, that's MY answer.

 

[Mr. Mortiss]

Ohh boy, where to start:

-Tailgating would be punished by impound of the vehicle and a bullet into the knee of the driver's choice, same law applies to driving 20 below the speed limit without justifiable cause.
-Children under the age of 14 (18 if said child has proven to be exceptionally dimwitted) would not be permitted outside without proper supervision.
-Children under the age of 6 would not be permitted onto/into: airplanes, movie theaters, restaurants, retail stores, museums, libraries, and anywhere else where they can ruin a good time.
-Texting while driving would warrant a death sentence.
-Doing anything purposefully disruptive in a classroom would be punished by being shackled to an irritable weasel.
-General Douche-baggery would be punishable from anything to a hefty fine to death by wood-chipper.
-There would be jetpacks and flying cars at affordable prices that run on cheap eco-friendly fuel... or else!
-Reproduction would require a licence.
-There would be smoking and non-smoking sections in every restaurant, airplane, and bar complete with airlocks to separate them.

 

[wooty]

-NO MORE CELEBRITY/REALITY GOSSIP TV/MAGAZINES EVER, there are enough smug wankers out there already without being constantly forcefed this shit. (There is no elaborate punishment for breaking this rule, you will simply be beaten to death in your own home.)

-All hoods to be banned, except if its actually fucking raining.

-Dressing all in black "sportswear" is outlawed unless you actually are a ninja

-If you cant read this or count the number of words.....you cant breed

-Use of the word "blud" or "bruv" when refering to another person will land you a horsewhipping

-If your hit by a vehicle when walking out into traffic because you are "hard" will yeild no compensation claims or NHS help

-Human rights are for human beings. If you break the law, the the police will be allowed to actually deal with you and not in the current namby pamby way of being too fucking scared of being sued for actually doing their job.

-Cycling the wrong way down a street with your "gang" is fine, just take note that it is now written into law for cars to aim for you.

-Loitering outside McDonalds for more than 30 minutes without purchasing anything will make you liable for egging by a dedicated squad of eggs-ecutioners.

-You will not be permitted anywhere if you wear a skin tight white tshirt, jewellry and use the words "yeah mate, yeah mate" so much that it stops making sense. Not allowed anywhere, especially pubs/clubs......buses and trains......just fuck off!

-Listening to shite techno/r&b music aloud on your phone in public will hold the consequence of you being forcefed the thing.

I could go on, but at this rate I'd be awaiting trial at the Hague.

 

[Deadyawn]

I would reserve the right soley for myself to punch anyone who annoys me for any reason. I think that would make life just a little bit more enjoyable.

 

[Metal_Head]

OK.

I would make euthanasia, *look it up* legal. It is perfectly moral and merciful if they are in incurable pain.

Idiots who go around deliberatly looking to sue companies, e.g the women who sued McDonalds because her coffee was "too" hot, shall instead be sued for being dumb.

I shall re-introduce the death penalty for murders, serial killers, child abusers, rapists, and other criminal offences I deem prudent. something about life imprisionment is not as scary as death to some people..

Up the penalties for reckless, drunk, dumb etc, driving. Make people far more conscience about this sort of thing.

Force people who play music too loudly will be punished by being forced to listen to music they HATE at the same volume they were pumping theirs. e.g country, I cant stand the shit.

women who wear low cut shirts and push up bras lose all right to object when men look at their breasts.

guys who wear their pants around their knees will be introduced to a belt. and forced to wear it.

I cant think of anymore at the moment but that will do for now.

 

[dragsaw]

,Not haveing a shirt on in puplic/ at home unless swiming can land you in jail

,No orange tans

Ie General Douche-baggery

,I will (or get some one to) saveguard the interwebs

,You will need an id to play games over 18+ (Ie no 5 yearolds on cod)

 

[Joccaren]

-Tailgating would be punished by impound of the vehicle and a bullet into the knee of the driver's choice, same law applies to driving 20 below the speed limit without justifiable cause.

May I suggest a slight edit to that?
If Tailgating, shot in knee for foot that uses accelerator.
If driving to slowly, shot in knee for foot that controls breaks.


OT:
I would add things like the right to gay marriage and such to legislation.
I would add clauses that determine the maximum profit that can be made off sold goods, and create a comity for ensuring this law is upheld.
I would commission large building projects with scientific intentions, like the SKA, to provide job opportunities and opportunities for greater research.
I would start a fund for rural farmers, paying them reasonable amounts of money to sell their goods at a lower price, reducing the cost of imports and giving local farmers a chance at actually having business.
I would commission infrastructure designed to aid farmers and rural communities, creating yet more opportunities and hopefully making their life a bit easier in events like droughts.
I would commission construction of industrial complexes for even more work opportunities whilst also increasing potential exports and reducing imports.
I would fund mining operations for increased natural resources.
I would commission a complete redesign and reconstruction of Melbourne's pathetic public transport systems, then move on to the rest of the country.
I would reduce taxes to poorer citizens and increase taxes to corporations.
I would have all infrastructure related to public transport, energy production, water supplies, gas supplies ect. requisitioned by the government for my control.
I would improve the standard of public education.

Now for the downsides:
We will not have the money to do all this, so if we run out you are required to continue working on commissioned projects you were assigned. Food will be provided to you of course, and your bills will be put on hold for the duration of this, the downside is you will not be able to buy luxury goods. Failure to comply will result in your bills being unfrozen, food supplies to you stopped and any services for you put on hold.
Everyone will be required to do as I say to the letter, or punishments will be enacted.

 

[MetalGenocide]

Off the top of my head:
1.

Spoiler: slightly controversial

Mandatory sexual acts for the youth, as soon as they've felt they've come of age. Meaning as early as they want. Must fill some legal forms, and the selected partner must legally oblige or face fines, age difference can be no higher or lower than one year. This is to help people deal with sexual related anxiety/acquire experience from an early age in order to have an easier time with the subject from then on. Everyone gets sex, no more forever alone.

2. MPM or money per minute standard for all jobs. Workers are allowed to leave work early but will be payed less. This allows for more employees to work, while spending roughly the same amount of money for salaries on average. No limit to how many jobs one person could have, except for the time they spend doing them.

3. Severe limitations on outside advertisements. Mostly, less freaking billboards everywhere. A cap of how many adv./boards a product can have, per city or settlement.

4. Free public information consoles connected to the internet, allowing for browsing based on the area of the city. Being near a market will feature shortcuts to all the items in the store and a search engine, so you may see everything offered before even entering the building. All this information will also be accessible for any machine connected to the internet.

5. Mandatory military education, but not military service.

6. On my birthday, everyone in the country gets a free piece of cake. Something else if they're allergic or something.

7. People are allowed to walk naked in public, at their own risk. That doesn't mean you can have sex in public.

8. Some sort of law against bullying.

9. Tinfoil hat week. Fuck the mind-control.

10. Everyone is required to carry a gun. Any gun. I recommend Kevlar vests as well. If one cannot practically bring a weapon in an hazardous area, tazers and pepper spray can suffice.

11. Don't be a ***** or a dick, toward other people, you will be fined, and if that behavior persists, jailed.

12. National fund for technological progress and inventions. Donations are optional but desired.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

1. Bands are not allowed to call 5 shows a tour. The legal minimum would be at least 10 shows in the country.

2. The use of pebbledashing as house-cladding is banned. Anyone found doing it will be pebble-dashed themselves.

3. People with irritating answerphone greetings are to be beaten to death with their phone (your children too if they're in the greeting)

4. Playing music out loud on a bus is punishable by being thrown off the bus at it is moving (from the top deck if it's a double-decker)

 

[Thaluikhain]

Off the top of my head:
1.

Spoiler: slightly controversial

Mandatory sexual acts for the youth, as soon as they've felt they've come of age. Meaning as early as they want. Must fill some legal forms, and the selected partner must legally oblige or face fines, age difference can be no higher or lower than one year. This is to help people deal with sexual related anxiety/acquire experience from an early age in order to have an easier time with the subject from then on. Everyone gets sex, no more forever alone.

You mean "everyone gets to rape people", not "Everyone gets sex".

That's the most fucked up thing posted in this thread yet.

 

[Tom Artingstall]

1. Officially replacing the national flag with an image of a lion riding a dragon riding a tortoise. And all of them are on fire.

2. Child mollesters in prison will no longer be protected from fellow inmates. Indeed, the specific details of their crime will be tatooed on their face, and other prisoners will earn time off sentences depending on how creatively they make him/her suffer.

3. Irn Bru will officially be declared "Fucking Delicious".

4. Extensive subsidies paid towards Valve on the promise that they make Episode 3 already. And a full Half-Life 3 game to follow that. They will not be rushed, but careful Government oversight (with cattleprods) will ensure steady progress on the game.

5. All conservation efforts in relation to Pandas will cease (seriously, fuck those guys).

6. Everyone will get the major religious holidays of every major religion off work as national holidays, not just Christian ones. Fuck yes you can have Ramadam off, Mr. Goldstein.

7. Any comment about the proximity of arrows to knees will result in instant, painful, embarassing and preferably ironic death.

8. All criminals and offenders may appeal their case to me personally, while I sit on my throne made from infant's skulls (Fake ones of course, I'm trying to put out a vibe here, but I'm not a monster). If they can prove themselves a victim of circumstance, or if they just manage to give me a cheap giggle, I let them off.

9. Hippy parents (no cartoons, no meat, yoga for three year olds, gender-neutral childhoods, shit like that) will be considered a form of child abuse (see law 2).

10. Death by Honey Badger to become a national sport.

 

[MetalGenocide]

You mean "everyone gets to rape people", not "Everyone gets sex".

That's the most fucked up thing posted in this thread yet.

You missed the part where you have to pay for it, and where it is meant for people with age difference no more or no less than one year. And the part where you can refuse and get fined.

Also bugging people repeatedly with that request counts towards the "don't be a dick", which is an offense.

 

[Sprinal]

Rule number 7- If you are caught listening to Dubstep or techno, then you have to do community service out in the open ocean. You have to listen to it for 20 days straight with no breaks.

Umm... To clarify does that rule apply to all genres of electronic or just Techno and Dubstep?


Okay mine:

1. Down with big brother (the show and the instruction manual)
2. All people who are considered obese by three or more doctors must go through military basic training in order to loose weight.
3. Medicine shall be free with a prescription and the visit too the doctor is tax deductible.
4. The Supreme Overlord receives the highest pay. Anyone who is payed more shall have the excess recovered in tax
5.legalise semi-auto and bolt action rifles for anyone over the age of 16. But they must go through basic military training in order to use them
6. The MPAA, ESA, RIAA, EA, Activision will be removed from the country. Unless they admit that modern copyright law is enough and they don't need any more
7. Copyright law will be changed so that it is illegal to sell copyrighted material you do not OWN and this goes for publishes too.
8. Minimum drinking age will be removed
9. Age of consent will be lowered from 16 to 13
10. Censorship shall be removed entirely (AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT I WAN"T MY R18!!!!!!!!!)
11. DDOS attacks will be legalised as a form of protest.
12. Free speech shall be made in accordance with the first amendment of the US constitution.
13. Boat People shall be permitted into Australia and will be processed on shore. These people shall be processed within 2 months and they shall be given a grant of $10000 and a starting job as well as an English Course.
14. Nudity for both sexes (can't be sexist) shall be legalised in all areas.
15. Tanning machines shall be banned
16. If you want to class someone as being from any subculture then if incorrect in your classification then you WILL be fined (or be forced to read out a written confession to the person {with a fine attached. but this fine will be smaller}). If it is a mistake (cant tell difference between cyber and Rivethead) then it can be dropped by the victim
17. Sex education shall be mandatory in high school and if taught incorrectly then school shall have funding reduced by 50% for a period of until it is amended.


okay at this point I am just coming up with new ones to keep this going but I am really pretty much out. Unless you want me to have a go at the stock exchange.

EDIT:

Including rule 18:

All drugs are now legalised. NO EXCEPTIONS but if you can not prove that it to benefit health then it shall not be subsidised by the government.