Could do with some advice,

[mgirl]

I need advice, and I need to vent, so here goes. It's easier to say things on here than it is to people I know anyway.

So, I kind of feel like I'm a walking robot, I don't feel anything most of the time, and then there will be days or weeks where misery just seems to be hanging over my head. On those days I'm having a good day if I don't contemplate throwing myself from the roof.

Most of the time, it's rare for me to manage to muster up enough energy to get out of bed and do... well, anything. Shopping for food, getting work done, even just going outside is almost painful. I force myself to socialise, to go out with friends when they ask me to but I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I sit around feeling sorry for myself then it makes me angry. Like, I have nothing to be upset about so what the fuck is wrong with me.

I'm getting headaches all the time, my ears are constantly ringing, I can't sleep, when I do sleep I struggle to wake up again, I've been grinding my teeth, my emotional states seem to be either apathetic or miserable, I have no energy and it's all just getting to be too much. I don't know what to do. I don't want to live like this anymore, I just can't. I guess I need help, I just don't know what to do.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

Sounds like a pretty classic case of clinical depression.
You should see a doctor. In the meantime, try to get yourself on a stable sleep schedule, go to bed at the same time regardless of day. It will be hard, but hopefully will help you feel a little more stable. At the very least, losing sleep can't be helping you.

If you ever need someone to talk to, you can send me a PM, I can't say that I'll have the answers you need, but sometimes it feels good just to get things off your chest.

 

[sarkeizen]

I strongly second going to a doctor. You didn't mention how long it's been with any of these symptoms or which one's came first. When you go to a doctor (not *if*...*when*!). Definitely mention your headaches and your tinnitus as well as any medications or other substances you've been taking. In addition to how you've been feeling.

 

[Vegosiux]

I'm getting headaches all the time, my ears are constantly ringing, I can't sleep, when I do sleep I struggle to wake up again, I've been grinding my teeth, my emotional states seem to be either apathetic or miserable, I have no energy and it's all just getting to be too much. I don't know what to do. I don't want to live like this anymore, I just can't. I guess I need help, I just don't know what to do.

I'll leave out the depression advice, as it was said, but...getting angry you say? Well, good, means you're not emotionally numb. So yeah, get angry, go "You know what, fuck this!" and just go out there and do something. Take a walk, whatever, just do something for yourself, even if it's just getting some fresh air. Of course, talking to a professional will help too, but not overnight. It's a...long process. A constant one, even, but you know, many people cope successfuly. There's no reason for you not to be one of them.

Point two:

You might want to check in with an optician, constant headaches might be the sign that you need glasses, since if your eyes have to constantly strain themselves (which you don't feel), you'll be getting persistent headaches.

 

[Kasten]

I agree with what's previously been said, as well as telling you that depression is tough. The fact you HAVEN'T thrown yourself off a roof is evidence you have strength you don't feel. You sound like a pretty cool person, and as with what the guy above said, you can always PM me.

Beyond seconding Eclipse Dragon, I just wanted to pitch in my support of you in a general sense.

 

[mgirl]

Thanks. It's nice to get actual advice for a change, rather than the 'oh everyone feels down sometimes' or advice I get about 'the power of positive thinking' I get in real life.

 

[Retardinator]

I have days or even weeks that feel that way(minus the physical symptoms). Every single day just being an endless cycle of rage over sadness and sadness over rage, with a persistent feeling of helplessness.

There are ways that I found which help me deal with that sort of crap. Find something that makes you feel more significant and/or productive. Things you can really enjoy doing which make you feel better. It depends on the day, sometimes it's just playing a game or watching a movie.
But the thing that helps me the most is unleashing my creativity on something. Just getting stuff out of your head and making it physically exist is one of the most uplifting sensations in life. Sometimes nothing helps better than making a simple script for Arma, or a map for Half-Life 2, or just a simple thing like writing a game/movie idea down and working it out a bit.

Of course, this might not be your thing. You might take up some other medium, take it by the balls and show the world what you can do (even though it might just be a handful of your friends).
Also, I find that giving less of a shit about stuff I don't find particularly enticing helps conserve my nerve(s).

The main thing is getting out of that rut and finding something that makes you feel amazing and human. Something that makes you feel like there will never be anyone else to do it again but you.

Of course, drugs work in changing your life perspective, but you should play it safe if you decide to go down that road. We're trying to find reasons to live here, not kill ourselves in the search.

Spoiler: Disclaimer

I'm not a licensed psychotherapist and/or psychologist. I'm drawing answers from my own experiences so take them for what you will. I agree that seeing a professional is also a good piece of advice.

 

[mgirl]

But the thing that helps me the most is unleashing my creativity on something. Just getting stuff out of your head and making it physically exist is one of the most uplifting sensations in life. Sometimes nothing helps better than making a simple script for Arma, or a map for Half-Life 2, or just a simple thing like writing a game/movie idea down and working it out a bit.

Of course, this might not be your thing. You might take up some other medium, take it by the balls and show the world what you can do

This worked for me for a while but of late I just don't have the energy or the drive to do... anything. I don't know how to explain it. I sit alone in my room doing nothing because I don't even have the drive to game or do the things I enjoyed before. Hell, I'm not even enjoying games anymore.