Cthulthu is trying to kill you.

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Projo

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Aug 3, 2009
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Skeleon said:
Wasn't "The Thing On The Doorstep" by Lovecraft as well?
I loved that story as a kid, still do. My father used to read these types of horror stories to us instead of boring old fairy tales.
It's so disgusting and has such a bad ending... :)
Yeah, and it's one of my favorites!

Of course, nothing beats Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family
 

micky

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Apr 27, 2009
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duh, sacrifice my dog and or goat(if one is around) then he will be pleased and i will be showered with gold and other riches, like i dont know.. women?
 

Anonymous Overlord

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Sep 21, 2009
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every one know about Cthulhu (even my spell checker apparently) the lovecraftian mythos are so chalk full of delightful nightmares to haunt your waking that just defaulting to his most famous creation is blasphemy amongst people who actually read some of the things that transpired in Arkham. what aout Yog sothoth the all-in-one and one-in-all. Or the the one who cant be named, not any of that harry potter BS where voldemort knows where you are if you say his name but hastur actually makes mortal heads explode when his name is spoke.

so if Cthulhu wanted me dead id thank the other great old ones that it was he who was to do it, the agonizing soul sucking from which there is no escape is no where near as bad as what some of the others would do. That, and Cthulhu wouldn't just target me he'd kill us all so we'd die in anguish together as a planet, misery loves company, madness prefers solitude.
 

TheDoctor455

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Apr 1, 2009
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Okay, for the noobs. H.P. Lovecraft is famous (or infamous if you're a religious zealot) for the Cthulhu Mythos, which revolves around ancient beings known as the Elder Gods. Cthulhu is more or less the most powerful of the bunch. It is said that to gaze directly upon Cthulhu is to know true madness. Speaking of madness, Lovecraft was one of the first writers to incorporate a psychological element to horror, and one of the only writers to be truly original whenever he dabbled in monster horror. Sometimes he would seem to combine the two types of horror (a bit like Silent Hill 2 did), making it a bit unclear as to whether these monstrosities actually existed, or if they were simply the product of a madman (who is probably the story's protagonist). If you've played the Legacy of Kain series (particularly the bits of it where you play as Raziel) or read a Hellboy comic, you'll see the kind of impact that Lovecraft has had on modern horror. It's just a shame that the media and the world in general continually fail to give him credit for it by say... making Shadow Over Innsmouth into a movie (I know they made a game based on it, but it was so poorly advertised and so buggy that almost no one managed to play it, let alone beat it).

I would also like to give noobs a warning here. Lovercraft is one of the most verbose little buggers you'll ever read, sometimes this works to his advantage and sometimes it doesn't. And, while yes, some of the things he writes are pretty damn racist, just remember that he grew up in, and wrote during a time in which that sort of behavior wasn't considered a problem. I'm not making excuses for him as much as I am telling you to completely ignore his racist statements, because A) He's dead, so what the hell can you do about it? and B) I'm not entirely convinced that he actually believed in these statements; I tend to think that he simply put them in there to shut up the only publishers that would accept his work at all.
 

TheDoctor455

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Apr 1, 2009
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micky said:
duh, sacrifice my dog and or goat(if one is around) then he will be pleased and i will be showered with gold and other riches, like i dont know.. women?
Cthulhu isn't interested in such things.
 

kannibus

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Sep 21, 2009
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I would give him a super cute Chibi-thulu plushie to cuddle at night. From this there are two possible outcomes:

1) The supreme cuteness overcomes his homocidal tendencies and we end up drinking tea and eating cosmic crumpets every Saturday at 3 o'clock for the rest of eternity.

2) The supreme cuteness causes his brain to simultaneously implode and explode while his organs writhe into something resembling the Gordian Knot and he chokes himself with his own tentacles. Then I get the Chibi-thulu to cuddle!

As you can see, this plan is fiendishly clever in its intricacies. Regardless, I'm investing in a Chibi-thulu.
 

fuckwit

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Jan 4, 2009
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You ask a silly question, you get a silly answer, and thus!

"The monkey has no agenda."
 

Burst6

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Mar 16, 2009
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I have a anti-cthulu bunker. Its been specially created to be in another dimension where cthulu's laws don't apply to me. It will be coated with the most radioactive element in that universe (you can't comprehend its atomic mass and number, it is so huge. You can't even comprehend its name, only 1 atom can fit in your hand.).

The god of that universe also owes me a few more favors for saving his galacta-cat from the quantu-tree several centillon times.
 

AndresCL

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Feb 2, 2009
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Id give him a better target by showing him what they did with MW2 for PC (assuming he cares about multiplayer, otherwise, im screwed)
 

Sassafrass

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Aug 24, 2009
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Probably express my feelings through interpretive street dancing.
Or to put it in a simpler way, die. Horribly.
 

Lexodus

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Apr 14, 2009
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MaxTheReaper said:
He would never.

We play doubles Chess against God and Satan.
I decry bullshit. God, maybe. But Satan? No. Unless this is on a Thursday, in which case you're in the clear.
 

Contun

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Mar 28, 2009
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I would pelvic thrust in his general direction and chuckle as he flew out of the thermosphere.
 

batuea

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Jun 30, 2009
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I roll 2 percent dices *rolls* 85 yay under my sanity of 95, now I run really really fast