I'm currently through my second play through of the hellspwan riddled, religious slashy-slashy crusader fest that is Visceral Game's 're-imagining' of Alighieri's 'Dante's Inferno' on the PS3. The second play through in about a month, I'd like to add, which surely says a lot about it as a game. Namely, it's crazy awesome.
A bold move on the company's part, I must say. I mean, when I look at my own copy of 'The Divine Comedy', which ranks at approxmiately six hundred million pages, it doesn't exactly scream 'video game adaptation' does it? No, it screams more 'paperweight/doorstop'.
Actually, down to a few creative tweaks to the core of the 'Inferno' section (naturally the most interesting part of the poem - Hell must be way more fun to design than Heaven, surely?), it kinda does. Dante is no longer a crisis-ridden poet, but a Crusader. Not just any Crusader either. This guy is a MAYUN! The very first time you see this dude, you know what he's doing? I'll tell you what he's doing: he's sewing a cross onto his bare chest. In the woods. With no medical assistance. Now that, my friends, takes some serious balls.
Not only that, but wait until you see how Dante gets his primary weapon, the Scythe. All I'll say about that is that it's so mental it can't help but be friggin' awesome.
So basically, Dante's on his way home from the wars to be reunited with wife-to -be Beatrice (a virtuous young woman with the disturbing habit of holding onto a cross during the physical act of lurve - a mood killer if I ever saw one) and his total dick-in-a-box father (a badger haired man who makes Amy Whinehouse look restrained).
However, wickedness is afoot! Dante returns to his home to find the door ripped off the hinges, the house in dissaray and his father lying dead with a bejewelled crucifix embedded in his eye in the most ironic sense. But that's not all, Beatrice, Dante's beloved, has also been offed. He finds her in the garden, with a sword in her gut and one breast flopping out of her dress. As much as I love this game, it's fair to say that it really does try to fit in as many breast shots as is humanly possible. I actually lost count after the first hour or so. Seems strange, really, for a game that's based on religion too be so obsessed with nudity. Ah...repression.
Of course, as Dante mourns over her lovely corpse, Beatrice appears to him as a spirit and tells him, in a much more eloquent way, that she accidentally put her eternal soul in a bet with El Diablo. Why? Because she was expecting Dante to not act like a dick while he was away. Naive, some would say. So now she's off to Hell to be the bride of Satan, and while she's remarkably complacent about the whole thing, Dante isn't quite down with the idea. So he decides to chase after her, through all the circles of Hell, and get her out of Lucifer's smoky clutches. And on the way, he must confront his many sins (seriously, for a Crusader Dante has been a very naughty boy - precisely what got Beatrice into this mess in the first place) and repent to save the soul of his one true love.
And that's where the fun begins. By God, is this game gorgeous looking. I mean the opening cutscenes are almost painful to look at they're so pretty, but really it's the level designs that makes the jaw drop. You can practically smell the creative sweat and tears emanating from the screen.
Every circle of hell is solidly designed and themed, which is a real delight to see. Greed is filled with pools of boiling gold, The Wood of Suicides has damned souls hanging from every bower, Gluttony is modelled on the human body; a place where the walls spew stomach acid and the sky rains fat. It's hideous, but in a good way.
Incidentally, my personal favourite is the Tower of Lust, mainly because it's fun to immaturely giggle at the windows that have clearly been modelled on vaginas. Yes, I know I'm a girl, but I don't care. That shit's funny.
Anyway, back to the actual game. Enemy design is reasonably limited, but the things you actually fight are damn insane. In limbo, you are literally attacked by unbabtised babies with swords for arms. I am deadly serious here, people. Dante is such a deluded nutter that he will willingly slaughter babies. Harsh.
And it goes on like this; women that sprout tentacles from their vaginas (which they seem to enjoy way too much), wasp monsters, Hell Bears (seriously fun to ride - they spew fire!), gluttonous lard-arses that vomit on you, zombie priests, etcetera, etcetera.
Once you salvage enough souls to buy all your moves and upgrades, the game really comes into its own. Combat isn't up to much to start off with, but then it never is. My current default move is what I like to call 'The Scythe Slam Of Death', where you simply hammer your scythe into the face of an enemy over and over and over and over until they explode in flames. That never gets old.
Absolving and Punishing is also way more fun than it should be. There is something disturbingly catahartic about body-slamming a demon with your magic cross, or even better, hoisting them up into the air and ripping them into two pieces. I mean come on, you get points for this carnage.
Let's not forget that you get to play God on a pretty big scale too. Along your journey you'll come across many famous faces (all ancient ones, but oh well); you listen to them plead their case, and you then have the choice of absolving them via a 'catch this sins that look like dragonballs' mini game. or punch them in the stomach then stab them in the face to punish them. Fun.
My one main gripe, though, is the goddamn QTE's. I have never, ever, been able to get the hang of quick time events. And some of the ones in Dante's Inferno are just plain cruel. Sometimes you'll be called on to twiddle the jostick in a half circle just so you can successfully impale a *****. Why? Wouldn't X do? But never mind, these are just wee niggles. It didn't stop me from having an enormous amount of fun.
There's really only one word to describe this : demented. As a game that's adapted from a great literary work it really is balls to the wall insane, and for this it benefits. I mean it has it's philosophical moments, courtesy of Dante's dialogue with Virgil, the ghostly figure who guides you through hell and offers you random facts abougt the damned. My personal favourite useless aside: The greedy sometimes rise from the grave with closed fist, or sometimes with cropped head. What? The closed fist I understand, but why on earth would a greedy person have their hair cut short exactly?
Either way, these moments are quickly brushed aside in favour of more insanity. Where else are you going to see the devil himself take the piss out of you for before tongue kissing your woman?
To be honest, I expected nothing less from Mister Satan. I think it's fair to say that he is fucking cool in this game. I loved him, I couldn't get enough of that smokey bastard; every time he showed up to taunt me or grope Beatrice in front of me I was cheering. Surely I shall burn for this.
And one last thing. I know that a lot of critics have remarked on its similarity to the God of War series, which I suppose is fair enough. However, having played God of War myself I can say this: Dante's Inferno has the right to be reviewed without drawing these comparisons. Sure, it has a lot of similar ideas, but both games are equally enjoyable. I actually played Inferno before I played God of War, and I thought that they were both great. The formula works, but Inferno takes it in a different direction. Sure, Dante isn't particularly sympathetic, but he's not meant to be. He's a corrupt man waging war against his own faults. He's more relatable in that way, unlike Kratos, who really isn't anything more than rage with skin over it.
In conclusion, I'd highly recommend Dante's Inferno. It's well written with a very classic feel to it; throw in some fun combat and downright insane finishers, and you've got a winner. It makes Religion fun, and that's no easy task.
A bold move on the company's part, I must say. I mean, when I look at my own copy of 'The Divine Comedy', which ranks at approxmiately six hundred million pages, it doesn't exactly scream 'video game adaptation' does it? No, it screams more 'paperweight/doorstop'.
Actually, down to a few creative tweaks to the core of the 'Inferno' section (naturally the most interesting part of the poem - Hell must be way more fun to design than Heaven, surely?), it kinda does. Dante is no longer a crisis-ridden poet, but a Crusader. Not just any Crusader either. This guy is a MAYUN! The very first time you see this dude, you know what he's doing? I'll tell you what he's doing: he's sewing a cross onto his bare chest. In the woods. With no medical assistance. Now that, my friends, takes some serious balls.
Not only that, but wait until you see how Dante gets his primary weapon, the Scythe. All I'll say about that is that it's so mental it can't help but be friggin' awesome.
So basically, Dante's on his way home from the wars to be reunited with wife-to -be Beatrice (a virtuous young woman with the disturbing habit of holding onto a cross during the physical act of lurve - a mood killer if I ever saw one) and his total dick-in-a-box father (a badger haired man who makes Amy Whinehouse look restrained).
However, wickedness is afoot! Dante returns to his home to find the door ripped off the hinges, the house in dissaray and his father lying dead with a bejewelled crucifix embedded in his eye in the most ironic sense. But that's not all, Beatrice, Dante's beloved, has also been offed. He finds her in the garden, with a sword in her gut and one breast flopping out of her dress. As much as I love this game, it's fair to say that it really does try to fit in as many breast shots as is humanly possible. I actually lost count after the first hour or so. Seems strange, really, for a game that's based on religion too be so obsessed with nudity. Ah...repression.
Dante's Inferno: Detracting from the tragedy, one boob shot at a time
Of course, as Dante mourns over her lovely corpse, Beatrice appears to him as a spirit and tells him, in a much more eloquent way, that she accidentally put her eternal soul in a bet with El Diablo. Why? Because she was expecting Dante to not act like a dick while he was away. Naive, some would say. So now she's off to Hell to be the bride of Satan, and while she's remarkably complacent about the whole thing, Dante isn't quite down with the idea. So he decides to chase after her, through all the circles of Hell, and get her out of Lucifer's smoky clutches. And on the way, he must confront his many sins (seriously, for a Crusader Dante has been a very naughty boy - precisely what got Beatrice into this mess in the first place) and repent to save the soul of his one true love.
And that's where the fun begins. By God, is this game gorgeous looking. I mean the opening cutscenes are almost painful to look at they're so pretty, but really it's the level designs that makes the jaw drop. You can practically smell the creative sweat and tears emanating from the screen.
Every circle of hell is solidly designed and themed, which is a real delight to see. Greed is filled with pools of boiling gold, The Wood of Suicides has damned souls hanging from every bower, Gluttony is modelled on the human body; a place where the walls spew stomach acid and the sky rains fat. It's hideous, but in a good way.
Incidentally, my personal favourite is the Tower of Lust, mainly because it's fun to immaturely giggle at the windows that have clearly been modelled on vaginas. Yes, I know I'm a girl, but I don't care. That shit's funny.
Use the powers of Lust to take down Cleopatra
Actually, Lust doesn't really seem all that hellish to me, either. I know that all the people that indulged in excessive shagging in life find no rest from it in Hell, which is why they become trapped within the 'storm of lust', swirling around a phallic tower for all eternity, but why does it sound like they're having a great time? All you can hear is orgasmic moaning; what's not to like?Anyway, back to the actual game. Enemy design is reasonably limited, but the things you actually fight are damn insane. In limbo, you are literally attacked by unbabtised babies with swords for arms. I am deadly serious here, people. Dante is such a deluded nutter that he will willingly slaughter babies. Harsh.
And it goes on like this; women that sprout tentacles from their vaginas (which they seem to enjoy way too much), wasp monsters, Hell Bears (seriously fun to ride - they spew fire!), gluttonous lard-arses that vomit on you, zombie priests, etcetera, etcetera.
ZUUUUL ************!
Once you salvage enough souls to buy all your moves and upgrades, the game really comes into its own. Combat isn't up to much to start off with, but then it never is. My current default move is what I like to call 'The Scythe Slam Of Death', where you simply hammer your scythe into the face of an enemy over and over and over and over until they explode in flames. That never gets old.
Absolving and Punishing is also way more fun than it should be. There is something disturbingly catahartic about body-slamming a demon with your magic cross, or even better, hoisting them up into the air and ripping them into two pieces. I mean come on, you get points for this carnage.
Let's not forget that you get to play God on a pretty big scale too. Along your journey you'll come across many famous faces (all ancient ones, but oh well); you listen to them plead their case, and you then have the choice of absolving them via a 'catch this sins that look like dragonballs' mini game. or punch them in the stomach then stab them in the face to punish them. Fun.
God loves you. Let me prove it by shoving a cross in your face
My one main gripe, though, is the goddamn QTE's. I have never, ever, been able to get the hang of quick time events. And some of the ones in Dante's Inferno are just plain cruel. Sometimes you'll be called on to twiddle the jostick in a half circle just so you can successfully impale a *****. Why? Wouldn't X do? But never mind, these are just wee niggles. It didn't stop me from having an enormous amount of fun.
There's really only one word to describe this : demented. As a game that's adapted from a great literary work it really is balls to the wall insane, and for this it benefits. I mean it has it's philosophical moments, courtesy of Dante's dialogue with Virgil, the ghostly figure who guides you through hell and offers you random facts abougt the damned. My personal favourite useless aside: The greedy sometimes rise from the grave with closed fist, or sometimes with cropped head. What? The closed fist I understand, but why on earth would a greedy person have their hair cut short exactly?
Either way, these moments are quickly brushed aside in favour of more insanity. Where else are you going to see the devil himself take the piss out of you for before tongue kissing your woman?
To be honest, I expected nothing less from Mister Satan. I think it's fair to say that he is fucking cool in this game. I loved him, I couldn't get enough of that smokey bastard; every time he showed up to taunt me or grope Beatrice in front of me I was cheering. Surely I shall burn for this.
Honestly, it's not all that similar to God of War. Honest
And one last thing. I know that a lot of critics have remarked on its similarity to the God of War series, which I suppose is fair enough. However, having played God of War myself I can say this: Dante's Inferno has the right to be reviewed without drawing these comparisons. Sure, it has a lot of similar ideas, but both games are equally enjoyable. I actually played Inferno before I played God of War, and I thought that they were both great. The formula works, but Inferno takes it in a different direction. Sure, Dante isn't particularly sympathetic, but he's not meant to be. He's a corrupt man waging war against his own faults. He's more relatable in that way, unlike Kratos, who really isn't anything more than rage with skin over it.
In conclusion, I'd highly recommend Dante's Inferno. It's well written with a very classic feel to it; throw in some fun combat and downright insane finishers, and you've got a winner. It makes Religion fun, and that's no easy task.
