Dating advice? How do I find somebody?

[Jamesfox849]

This... is exactly what it sounds like, I've gotten desperate enough that I'm looking on the internet for advice =(
Though this site does seem to have lots of intelligent, thoughtful people on it, so...

How do I find somebody?
Before you start answering there are just a few things you need to know, and if you're reading this trying to help, thank you, really.

1. I'm 16, a Sophomore in high school
2. I'm gay, and only a few friends know it, though I'm not closed about it, the right time just hasn't come up yet.
3.I live in a small, rural town in the south. Rednecks abound.
4. The main problem is that I just don't know any other gay people really...

As a note: I havn't faced any kind of violence or prejudice because of my sexuality, but I think this is mostly because I'm out among AP students, who are open-minded people. I can guess, but I really don't know, that if I were to become out among the entire student body... there may be some problems, but the chances of that are low enough, and I stay away from the generally student body enough, that I think it's worth risking.
I also know that I don't need to date anybody, it's not neccessary, and I'm not a loser for being alone; I'm not gonna die. but for a lot of reasons I do want one, and I am incredibly lonely, enough that my mom fears that I'm depressed I'm not, but she's made me worried it could become that way

I think I've ranted on for to long. Again, if you're helping me then thank you.

 

[latenightapplepie]

Don't bother dating at your age, is my advice. Personally, I didn't date anyone in highschool, partly because I was in the closet, but also because I just wasn't really interested. I wanted to focus on school and friends instead. I was fine without dating. Sure, I'm a little behind in experience than most people as a result, but I think it was for the best.

That said, if you really want to, I'd suggest either, one, coming out fully and maybe a potential boyfriend will appear. Of course, depending on how big your school/work/community is, you may not meet anyone (at least your own age). And even if you do, the few options that might appear might just not be compatible with you. Don't go dating a guy just because he's gay and you're lonely; it could end badly.

Two, you could try online dating. This approach has it's problems too. You might have to lie about your age. I can't imagine a whole lot of gay personal sites permit under 18s from creating profiles. Furthermore, you'll probably have to put up a photo of yourself on your profile, which effectively outs you to anyone who uses the site and might also know you in real life. Trust me, this happens! I'm on an online dating site, and I've seen plenty of guys I've met in real life on there. Also with online dating, you will be messaged by creeps. Gross, 50-year-old married men offering 'massages' and other, more disturbing stuff. So, keep your wits about you. Always meet in a neutral location, and always ask for a photo or better yet a Myspace/Facebook page.

I know firsthand how it feels when all your straight friends are having their first romances at this time. It kinda sucks. But please, don't let it bother you so much that you do something foolish, like meet up with a creep you met online and know nothing about, or out yourself to everyone when you're not really ready, hoping that a boyfriend will emerge.

Send me a private message anytime if you want more advice; I know a 16-year-old me couldn't have handled this alone.

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

I know how you feel, Im the same, only 20 and my town is filled to the brim with redneck/getto people. I wouldnt resort to a dating site under 18, I did that once on one called Mogenic as it had a under 18 section, I was just bombarded by over 18's who wanted nothing more then to "pop my cherry" in the correct term.

If you need anyone to talk to about it etc dont hesitate to PM me, being a Youth Ambassador I've heard alot of stories and can help you out a bit.