LOL. What are some great science jokes you guys know? I'm kind of bored and need some funniez to pick me up.
And please, no "no charge for the neutron" Wadsworth jokes.
Di-hydrogen Monoxide
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And please, no "no charge for the neutron" Wadsworth jokes.
Two scientists are in a bar. One scientists says to the other, "I bet I can drink more of any drink than you." The other scientists replies "alright, It's a wager." The bartender asks the first scientist what he would like to drink. He says "I'll have some H2O, my good man!" The other scientist says "I'll have H2O too!" Needless to say the first scientist won the bet.
The ginger woman at my work recently announced that she is pregnant by her black boyfriend. She was discussing possible baby names the other day, apparently "Terry The Chocolate Orange" is not tolerated and is enough to get you fired.
and
Bukkake Porn.
Who is it really aimed at?
I dont know any science jokes so enjoy these.
and
Bukkake Porn.
Who is it really aimed at?
I dont know any science jokes so enjoy these.
I was under the impression it was in most first aid kits, which bars are supposed to have handy.Eukaryote said:Because, you know, bars always have an extensive supply of H2O2. <-- reason I never found this one funnyOmikron009 said:
Ummm....
A guy walks into a full-up bus. He's dressed like a hooligan, wearing spike bracelets and an intimidating war-paint-esque make-up. He walks past the driver without paying, gets in the face of the first passenger and yells out:
"I'm going to derive you!"
He keeps doing this to all passengers, yelling about integrating and deriving them. At the next stop, all but one passenger immediately leave, some clearly frightened.
The hoodlum goes to the one person still sitting, calmly as a man can. He asks this passenger "Are you not afraid of being derivated or integrated, huh?"
"No," is the calm reply coming from the man "because I'm e to the power of x."
BA Dum DUM Dish
A guy walks into a full-up bus. He's dressed like a hooligan, wearing spike bracelets and an intimidating war-paint-esque make-up. He walks past the driver without paying, gets in the face of the first passenger and yells out:
"I'm going to derive you!"
He keeps doing this to all passengers, yelling about integrating and deriving them. At the next stop, all but one passenger immediately leave, some clearly frightened.
The hoodlum goes to the one person still sitting, calmly as a man can. He asks this passenger "Are you not afraid of being derivated or integrated, huh?"
"No," is the calm reply coming from the man "because I'm e to the power of x."
BA Dum DUM Dish
A friendly reminder to never consume alcohol and perform calculus.
Friends don't let friends derive drunk.
-rimshot-
Friends don't let friends derive drunk.
-rimshot-
My highschool math teacher said that all the time. He'd also say...CounterAttack said:
"You got a different answer? Oh, well 4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions i suppose."
A mathematician and an engineer are having a drink in bar when the mathematician notices a pretty girl. He say to the engineer "Damn, I would go and talk to her, but when I get halfway there, I'll to get halfway that distance and halfway [i/]that[/i] distance and I'd never get close enought." The engineer gets up and says "I can get close enough for practical purposes."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one walks up to the bartender and says "I'd like a beer". The next one follows and says "I'll have half of what the first guy got". This continues on for a time with each mathematician ordering half the quantity of beer of the previous when finally the bartender gets fed up and says "You're all idiots" and pours two beers.
it was one of the funniest things i've seen in an episode of their'sOregano said:
i've done it a few times and people think what a horrible thing dihydrogen monoxide is, even more geeky people don't work it out. i think because they forget their chemistry
A man walks into a bar and says "Can i have a pint of adinosine triphosphate"
The barman replies "Sure that will be 80p"
The barman replies "Sure that will be 80p"
This isn't funny at all. You're a very insensitive person. Did you know that young people experimenting with MDMA frequently consume an excess of dihydrogen oxide, sometimes resulting in death?grimsprice said:
You disgust me.
