Dialogue Fails in Video Gaming

[Counter_Southpaw]

Have you ever had a moment in a video game where, after reading a characters line, you did a double take?

I know I have, with my most recent "WTF" moment arising from Pokemon Soul Silver. Youngster Joey calls me up, and him, being the most anti-social prat in the Pokemon universe, doesn't even wait for me to say "Hello?" before launching into his narrative.

Joey:"Yo Southpaw!"
Me: "..."
Joey: "You remember my super awesome RATTATA?"
Me: "..."
Joey: "Well, my RATTATA is different from other RATTATA. I think he's in the upper percentage of RATTATA."
Me (IRL): "God dammit Joey, didn't you just call about failing to a wild Pidgey?! Quit cal-"
*Joey hangs up*

There are a few rather awkward moments in the Oblivion universe as well, with the civilians often jumping into narratives that proceed like thus.

Civ1:"Hello"
Civ2:"Hello"
Civ1:"I saw some mudcrabs earlier by the lake, vile creatures."
Civ2:"I fought crabs."
Civ1:"Goodbye."
Civ2: - Silence -

At one point I became so annoyed that the topic of "fighting crabs" kept arising that I murdered the two civilians who were discussing such matters. It's a sensitive topic for me, you know.

So how about you, forum? Any dialogue that has made you WTF?

 

[hazabaza1]

While it's not exactly the dialogue, hearing the accents in Deus Ex made me shudder a bit.

 

[Counter_Southpaw]

While it's not exactly the dialogue, hearing the accents in Deus Ex made me shudder a bit.

LOL, that reminds me of Perfect Dark for the Xbox 360. The voice acting in that game was certainly cringe-worthy, with Joanna Dark being the most irritating heroine I've ever played to date.

Srsly, every time she whispered "Received." I immediately thought of Gollum from LOTR

 

[FreshyQ]

inb4 laughing scene in FFX.

 

[Flamezdudes]

inb4 "All your base belong to us".

 

[Doctor VonSexMachine]

Nova in Fallout 3 sends me into a rage. Other wise, the voice acting is pretty ok in that game. Mmmm, Liam Nelson *droooool*

 

[Sir Kemper]

Rochelle's reaction to one of the survivors being ridden by a jockey, most of her lines are fine, but there's this one...

"That thing's riding him!"

The voice actress says it so..oddly, like she's drunk or just not interested.

If you've heard the line you'd know it.

 

[CmdrGoob]

Metal Gear Solid 4 is one giant string of dialogue fails, practically too many to mention. But I especially like the one where the watch where snake and otacon watch a lengthy bit of exposition in the form of spy footage of ocelot and vamp flat out explaining to each other that they plan to use rex to attack JC and then have another lengthy bit of exposition between snake and otacon where they come to the conclusion that *gasp* ocelot and vamp plan to use rex to attack JC. Holy shit what a bunch of retards. It's like 20 minutes of pointless, boring, timewasting bad dialogue to explain a plot point that could have been explained in 2 minutes. Man, the writing and pacing in that game is ass.

 

[GnomeThief]

Here's the most wtf conversation I heard in Oblivion.

Person 1: "Hello"
Person 2: "Hi"
Person 1: "I saw some mud crabs the other day. Nasty things."
Person 2: "I hear that the High Elves trained them."
Person 1: "Bye."
Person 2: "Good day."

Then they just walked off.

 

[Cody211282]

Hearing peoples voices in Oblivion change from beggar when they are talking to me to normal when they talk to someone else about buying book and spells(yea lets see if I give you money again) always made me double take, or if you had the same voice talking to its self.

And whats with people just putting "inb4[insert whatever here]" it's annoying as hell and doesn't contribute anything.

 

[Meggiepants]

Fem Shepard on Mass Effect 2. Some of the dialog options that you could choose to romance someone.

"I want you"

Blunt enough for you?

 

[Shjade]

The entirety of Resident Evil.

All of it.

Also yes, as FreshyQ mentioned above, the freaking laughing scene from FFX. Good lord. Not that the rest of FFX's dialogue was much better, but that's the obvious low point.

I'm trying to think of game examples that were translated so badly that a mission's objectives were listed as the opposite of what you're actually supposed to do - I know it's happened in games I've played at least three times - but none come to mind. :|

Fem Shepard on Mass Effect 2. Some of the dialog options that you could choose to romance someone.

"I want you"

Blunt enough for you?

Hey, depending on the context that could be a dialogue win as far as I'm concerned. For instance, if she was saying it to me...preferably without having a weapon aimed in my direction at the time. That would send an entirely different message.

Maybe I just appreciate directness.

 

[FinalDream]

Resident Evil 1: You where almost a jill sandwich! - classic line

 

[The Madman]

Troika were amazing at writing believable dialogue, as were Black Isle and Obsidian nowadays.

However all are/were terrible at gameplay and bug testing. Wonder if it's some sort of curse: "You can either be a good writer, or a good game designer, you can't have both. Choose wisely!"

 

[QuickDEMOL1SHER]

Pretty much all of the dialog in Just Cause 2, Bolo Santosi in particular. Don't get me wrong, the game itself is excellent, but sometimes the voice acting and lines are so bad, I have to wonder if they weren't doing a spoof of video game dialog.

 

[Chezzz]

There are a few rather awkward moments in the Oblivion universe as well, with the civilians often jumping into narratives that proceed like thus.

Civ1:"Hello"
Civ2:"Hello"
Civ1:"I saw some mudcrabs earlier by the lake, vile creatures."
Civ2:"I fought crabs."
Civ1:"Goodbye."
Civ2: - Silence -

Ha!

I was skim reading the post and read that conversation as if it was from Civilization

Made me spill my drink

 

[Shjade]

Wonder if it's some sort of curse: "You can either be a good writer, or a good game designer, you can't have both. Choose wisely!"

Possible. I'm a fair hand at writing but I can't do a thing with any kind of code.

 

[Counter_Southpaw]

"You can either be a good writer, or a good game designer, you can't have both. Choose wisely!"

And that explains the entirety of Gears of War.

COLE TRAIN anyone?