Do people respect you more if you can admit you are wrong?

[dscross]

Mistakes can be hard to digest, so sometimes we double down rather than face them. Our confirmation bias kicks in, causing us to seek out evidence to prove what we already believe.

In a way, apologies give power to their recipients. For example, apologising to someone admits wrongdoing; but apologising also gives them the power to choose whether they want to alleviate your shame through forgiveness, or increase your shame by holding a grudge. But when you refuse to admit your mistakes, you are also less open to constructive criticism which can help hone skills, rectify bad habits and improve yourself over all.

We cling to old ways of doing things, even when new ways are better and healthier and smarter. We cling to self-defeating beliefs long past their shelf life. And we make our partners, co-workers, parents and kids really, really mad at us.

If it is clear to everybody that you made a mistake, digging your heels in actually shows people your weakness of character rather than strength.

Discuss.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Some people, yes. But there are always assholes who see things like that as a sign of weakness. They hold others and themselves back, and aren't worth your time unless something can inspire a change of heart. I guess the first humbling must be the hardest humbling. But if one can get over one's pride, the effects are quite liberating.

 

[Blood Brain Barrier]

I see no reason why people should respect you more. Whether you admit you are wrong or don't admit you are wrong is just a matter of your conditioning and how you were raised. For example, Trump was obviously raised in a very stubborn and paternalistic environment where you don't admit you are wrong. That's hardly his fault, although he may have questioned if it was the right approach if certain events in his life led him to do that. If he was raised by a more liberal family with a more feminine influence he may have been more disposed to admit his flaws. But I wouldn't respect him more for that because that would entail that he had a role in his upbringing and how his life played out.

 

[dscross]

I see no reason why people should respect you more. Whether you admit you are wrong or don't admit you are wrong is just a matter of your conditioning and how you were raised. For example, Trump was obviously raised in a very stubborn and paternalistic environment where you don't admit you are wrong. That's hardly his fault, although he may have questioned if it was the right approach if certain events in his life led him to do that. If he was raised by a more liberal family with a more feminine influence he may have been more disposed to admit his flaws. But I wouldn't respect him more for that because that would entail that he had a role in that.

Taking it a bit closer to home, would you have more respect for a friend who admits they are wrong after an argument, or one that won't back down? Over something trivial.

 

[Baffle]

Taking it a bit closer to home, would you have more respect for a friend who admits they are wrong after an argument, or one that won't back down? Over something trivial.

You've assumed that the friend is wrong and you're right!

Honestly, over something trivial, I'd have more respect for both people if they were able to say 'You know what, it doesn't matter that we disagree.'

 

[dscross]

Taking it a bit closer to home, would you have more respect for a friend who admits they are wrong after an argument, or one that won't back down? Over something trivial.

You've assumed that the friend is wrong and you're right!

Honestly, over something trivial, I'd have more respect for both people if they were able to say 'You know what, it doesn't matter that we disagree.'

I was speaking hypothetically. There are some situations that are more obvious than others. I was just trying to see if he still thought that about something more personal. What's your take on it more generally?

 

[TheVampwizimp_v1legacy]

Yes. It's hard to respect someone who has either so little self-awareness or such a huge ego that they can't admit when they're wrong. People are wrong all the damn time, it's the human condition, just accept it and move on, it's better for everyone.

Besides, it's much easier to like someone who can be self-deprecating. Admitting fault isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of intelligence, and being aware of your faults makes you appear more human and approachable to others.

 

[Marik2]

Yes. It's hard to respect someone who has either so little self-awareness or such a huge ego that they can't admit when they're wrong. People are wrong all the damn time, it's the human condition, just accept it and move on, it's better for everyone.

Besides, it's much easier to like someone who can be self-deprecating. Admitting fault isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of intelligence, and being aware of your faults makes you appear more human and approachable to others.

This

People find it weird and humble when I admit that I am wrong.

 

[Wintermute_v1legacy]

Yes. I have no respect for my father because I can't remember a single time when he recognized he was wrong about something, and he was wrong about a lot of things in my 30+ years on this earth. He refuses to take the blame for his own fuck ups, it's always someone else's fault, even if they weren't even there, it's their fault somehow. He totaled his car 800km away from home and he blamed my mom for some reason when she wasn't even in the car. He ruined his own company and somehow it's my fault even though I didn't even work there, etc. It's a bizarre behavior and I can't respect someone like that.

People fuck up, they say dumb shit, whatever, no one cares, as long as you're capable of saying "you know what, that was really stupid". Which is why I avoid internet arguments at all costs. If there's one place where people never admit to anything, it's the internet. At best they just stop replying like nothing happened.

 

[Kyrian007]

I don't know what BS corporate synergy strategy retreat he learned it from, but my boss not only refuses to admit mistakes... he actively encourages his employees to never admit mistakes either. It is the dumbest thing I have ever seen. I can confront him with physical evidence of a mistake he's made... and somehow he will either find some way to blame it on someone or something else, or the problem will quietly be never spoken of again with no lessons learned.

And it has to be the result of some kind of training or corporate retreat, because management and even regional and corporate level management of our company nationwide... they ALL do it. I have mentioned that shortcoming in every single performance review I have ever had to fill out, but that's just bs corporate checklist makework because nobody ever reads those things. I have 4 of them saved (on the corporate server even) and just rotate through them any time I'm asked to do a review. I've been doing that for years. Nobody has ever caught on.

 

[Trunkage]

I see no reason why people should respect you more. Whether you admit you are wrong or don't admit you are wrong is just a matter of your conditioning and how you were raised. For example, Trump was obviously raised in a very stubborn and paternalistic environment where you don't admit you are wrong. That's hardly his fault, although he may have questioned if it was the right approach if certain events in his life led him to do that. If he was raised by a more liberal family with a more feminine influence he may have been more disposed to admit his flaws. But I wouldn't respect him more for that because that would entail that he had a role in his upbringing and how his life played out.

Being liberal and feminine makes you predisposed to admitting your flaws?

 

[Thaluikhain]

I see no reason why people should respect you more. Whether you admit you are wrong or don't admit you are wrong is just a matter of your conditioning and how you were raised. For example, Trump was obviously raised in a very stubborn and paternalistic environment where you don't admit you are wrong. That's hardly his fault, although he may have questioned if it was the right approach if certain events in his life led him to do that. If he was raised by a more liberal family with a more feminine influence he may have been more disposed to admit his flaws. But I wouldn't respect him more for that because that would entail that he had a role in his upbringing and how his life played out.

Being liberal and feminine makes you predisposed to admitting your flaws?

Eh, there are some people that confuse "traditional values" and "being manly" with "not admitting weaknesses", including mistakes.

 

[Blood Brain Barrier]

I see no reason why people should respect you more. Whether you admit you are wrong or don't admit you are wrong is just a matter of your conditioning and how you were raised. For example, Trump was obviously raised in a very stubborn and paternalistic environment where you don't admit you are wrong. That's hardly his fault, although he may have questioned if it was the right approach if certain events in his life led him to do that. If he was raised by a more liberal family with a more feminine influence he may have been more disposed to admit his flaws. But I wouldn't respect him more for that because that would entail that he had a role in his upbringing and how his life played out.

Being liberal and feminine makes you predisposed to admitting your flaws?

Sure. I would have thought the meaning of "liberal" would have been a big clue - being less resistant to things, including your feelings.

 

[dscross]

Title ? - That should be the case. It takes strength, maturity, and reveals vulnerability to admit being wrong. There are too many grey areas now though, and there?s always another angle. That?s the problem with politics and religion, and why they?re argued tirelessly and endlessly.

 

[Elijin]

I see no reason why people should respect you more. Whether you admit you are wrong or don't admit you are wrong is just a matter of your conditioning and how you were raised. For example, Trump was obviously raised in a very stubborn and paternalistic environment where you don't admit you are wrong. That's hardly his fault, although he may have questioned if it was the right approach if certain events in his life led him to do that. If he was raised by a more liberal family with a more feminine influence he may have been more disposed to admit his flaws. But I wouldn't respect him more for that because that would entail that he had a role in his upbringing and how his life played out.

Wouldnt that be why its worth respect? Being able to recognise and rise above negative behaviour patterns?

 

[CaitSeith]

Depends on which people you are talking about. Reasonable people: yes. Unreasonable people: no. Which group do you care to be respected by the most?

 

[Zontar]

Depends on which people you are talking about. Reasonable people: yes. Unreasonable people: no. Which group do you care to be respected by the most?

Pretty much this, it's situational. A perfect example is the twitter hate mod, never apologise to them, not even if you're wrong and know it, they don't see admission as anything other then weakness and will continue to hate the person in question.

 

[CaitSeith]

Depends on which people you are talking about. Reasonable people: yes. Unreasonable people: no. Which group do you care to be respected by the most?

Pretty much this, it's situational. A perfect example is the twitter hate mod, never apologise to them, not even if you're wrong and know it, they don't see admission as anything other then weakness and will continue to hate the person in question.

Actually, that's a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situation. My point was if you are pandering to reasonable or unreasonable people (not how reasonable/unreasonable is the people asking you to admit you are wrong).