Do you "owe" your parents grandchildren?

[Vault101]

this little dilema ocured to me while (not intentionally) catching some of a reality TV show on TV last night

besically as far as I can tell its about thease mothers who hand pick potential partners for their sons

now this may be a little harsh but what kind of a limp-dick asshole lets his mother choose his partner for him? (ok ok..there is arranged marrage which can actually work somtimes) but THIS just made me angry

now anyway...although it was never outright stated you can just tell thease are the kinds of bitches who demand granchildren..no doubt to fuel their ego with their little "matriarch" fantasys...(again if my feelings about this arnt clear up to this point)

so what was I constantly yelling at the TV last night? "if the dried up old twat wants grand children she should fucking adopt them herself!" <-several times

the reason I feel so strongly about this is because I guess Im all for people choosing what they want, I dont think that the mother has any entitlment to what her children choose to do in their lives...its that kind of controlling matriarchy thing that I find downright disgusting (I know its cultrual somtmes..but IMO family should stay the fuck out when they arnt wanted)

*sigh*..so anyway do you feel any obligation to have grand children if thats what your parents want? perhaps from a "continuning the line" point of veiw? [/B]

 

[Vault101]

You *really* don't want kids do you? If I come back in like 10 years and find out you have had kids I will have a heart attack from the surprise or something XD

.

no...its not "that" per se (I well aware that 9/10 people who say they dont want kids end up having them)

no the part that disgusts me are thease women who feel the need to meddle in their childrens lives..and the guys who let them..its disgusting and controlling anf just..gaaaahhhh (back to the mamma boy thing)

 

[MidnightCat]

Haha no.

My parents weren't even planning to have kids, I don't think they're going to be desperate for grandkids. And I don't intend to let my parents, particularly my dad, have much of a say (if any) in my selection of partners.
I can imagine being under pressure to "continue the line" from my grandmother if she didn't already have a handful of great-grandchildren, but it most likely won't ever be something I'll hear from my parents. And even if they were pressuring me to have kids, I wouldn't allow that to affect my life. Yeah, they've done a lot for me, but I don't believe that I owe them something like that.

^^And that applies to everyone - you shouldn't be forced to make a huge lifestyle change just because it's what your parents want. Or allow them to select a suitable partner for you, like the idiots on that show. Yuck. It doesn't sound like they have much of a life.

 

[Aris Khandr]

I don't feel I do. If I do, I guess I'm in trouble, as I am not equipped to get my girlfriend pregnant any more than she is equipped to get me pregnant. If my mother really wants grandkids, she can demand them of my brother. If my father wants grandkids, he can saw off his member, plant it in the ground, and hope it grows into a child-tree. What he wants means just about nothing to me.

 

[Vegosiux]

No, I don't, and anyone who insinuates otherwise can kindly go stick it. Luckily enough, my parents understand my disposition and do not give me a hard time about the fact that I see myself as never having kids.

 

[scorptatious]

Thankfully my parents haven't reached that stage.

...Yet.

 

[Luftwaffles]

You *really* don't want kids do you? If I come back in like 10 years and find out you have had kids I will have a heart attack from the surprise or something XD

But anyway, of course there's no obligation to have kids. While I might owe my parents gratitude for raising me if they're at least decent people, which mine are, asking for kids is asking for a ridiculous part of your life. Sure they might have given it to you, but you never asked for it from them, they made the decision themselves for their reasons, not yours. It was a gift, not a transaction.

Continuing the line thing seems like bullshit to me. What does it really matter? It just seems like some kind of ego fueled excuse. It's nothing of actual importance, merely a selfish desire on the part of the parents in a case like this.

Anyway, I agree with you completely about letting people choose what they want for themselves. Especially when it comes to a decision that impacts your own life first and foremost and in a large fashion.

In a way the "continuing the line" excuse is quite egotistical. I suppose it would come up when your parents friends ask them "so do you guys have any grandchildren yet" as a way of comparing how successful a pair is at furthering their genes.

And i do agree, there comes a point in life where parents should leave their children be.

My parents dont bother me much on my relationship life (lack of one more like) though my ma pulls out the "do you have a girlfriend" card on me sometimes.

Also the thread brings the term "helicopter parents" to mind.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

No, and I think my only obligation to them is just try my best and some sort of appreciation towards them for raising me right. Other than that? Nope. Now my grandparents, on the other hand, won't shut up about the fact that they want me to get married and have kids, I'm not the only grandchild they have and I know they are great-grandparents, so I don't understand why they need to get on me for that.

Anyways, my parents just want me to try to be happy, and if that results in grandkids then, then cool, if not, that's cool too. I'm just glad I have laid back parents that don't hound me for such things. And with the way things are going for me, I seriously doubt kids will be an option from me, so yay for that then.

 

[Ectoplasmicz]

In no way do I feel obliged.

I don't think it's up to them anyway, it should be entirely my own decision.

 

[Luftwaffles]

text was here

Its only natural i suppose. Some parents want to prove that they can raise successful offspring, so they measure that in wealth and the prowess of their loins/wombs.

And i dont think its misguided. Its...im sure to cop alot of hate for this, part of our nature. Of course not for people who have different priorities.

Makes one think doesnt it. Makes me wonder what i really want out of life.

 

[Neuromancer]

No, I do not owe my parents anything. But even if I did owe them grandchildren, my genes are crap, there's nothing worthwhile to pass to the next generation. So either way, I am not having kids.

 

[Screamarie]

My brother just knocked up his wife so I don't have to *does a happy dance!*

*clears throat* Ahem, seriously though....NO.

My mother wants grand kids. A lot. She's not putting pressure on me...at least not yet...but I can tell. She damn near cried when she told me my brother's wife was pregnant.

But she's probably not going to get them out of me. I'm a misanthrope with trust issues, social anxiety, and I rarely even leave my house let alone go out on dates. And I don't feel bad about it at all, because while I love my mother dearly and I appreciate all she's done for me, how my eggs gets used is none of her business. I owe her in taking care of her in her old age. I do not owe her in squirting out brats I do not want.

EDIT: Oh and Vault, if you read this, I absolutely ADORE your newest avatar! Just seeing it makes me happy.

 

[Vault101]

EDIT: Oh and Vault, if you read this, I absolutely ADORE your newest avatar! Just seeing it makes me happy.

thanks!

it was surprisingly easy to put together (and come out looking right)

 

[Heronblade]

Not anymore, I have both a niece and nephew now so I'm off the hook

FREEDOM!!!!

The answer is still no however. I'm of the opinion that no one should ever have a child for the sake of having one, or for the sake of something as meaningless as continuing the family line. Frankly, it sometimes seems as if society is still trying to turn women into baby factories, and I can't help but wonder why any of them put up with it.

 

[Vault101]

Frankly, it sometimes seems as if society is still trying to turn women into baby factories, and I can't help but wonder why any of them put up with it.

like it or not we still need the baby factories

not that I put up with it mind...somone says otherwise to me I'll tellem where to get off