Does joking and being light hearted about homosexuality back up being sexually confident?

[Bender Rodriguez]

Hey there, this might be a slightly strange question/incoming discussion.

Heres my situation, I'm 19, straight as an arrow, been in love several times and worship the luscious curves natures ripe female.
However i find myself very...gay.
Gay is in the origin of the word intermixed with the popular meaning.

Listening to George Takei talking about asslicking on Howard Stern made me roll on the floor with genuine laughter, naughty laughter.
However my good pal besides me froze up.

We share the same humor and after some "counseling" we came to the conclusion that he was not homophobic but felt explicit gay humor challenged his sexuality.
Not that he doubted his sexuality, but still felt it challenging.
I argued that he too was straight as an arrow, having seen his internet log once

So i ask this question, does being overly open to homosexual humor and yet never feeling sexually connected to any of it back up my claim of being sexually confident.
I find myself being so much more jokey and open about the subject than the norm.

Am i strange or are most guys secretly scared of being gay?

Lets keep this discussion civilized.

 

[Jordi]

I'd say being confident about your sexuality and being (un)comfortable with gay jokes/talk don't have to have anything to do with each other at all. Sure, some people may be insecure and therefor not like it, but I really don't think it works the other way around.

 

[Matrixbeast]

To answer your question, no.

 

[deleted_by_strongbad]

Gay is in the origin of the word intermixed with the popular meaning.

Not trying to nitpick, just trying to figure out what you mean, but what do you mean here?

Dude, I'm gonna be honest, I've very little clue of what you want here. I know some people who can't go 10 minutes without cracking a gay joke, and then immediately reassuring everyone nearby that they are, in fact, not gay. To the point where, they are CLEARLY homophobic.

Now I find the easiest way to deal with what I think you're asking is that people need to simply look at a penis and decide if they would ever DO anything SEXUAL to it, assuming it isn't theirs. That being part of the reason I consider myself bisexual, I've yet to find I wouldn't do anything naughty with a penis, so I see no reason to assume I'm not gay. But that's just me.

Wow, I am either going nuts or this is one of the most rational thoughts I've seen on the internet.

 

[Bender Rodriguez]

Dude, I'm gonna be honest, I've very little clue of what you want here. I know some people who can't go 10 minutes without cracking a gay joke, and then immediately reassuring everyone nearby that they are, in fact, not gay. To the point where, they are CLEARLY homophobic.

Now I find the easiest way to deal with what I think you're asking is that people need to simply look at a penis and decide if they would ever DO anything SEXUAL to it, assuming it isn't theirs. That being part of the reason I consider myself bisexual, I've yet to find I wouldn't do anything naughty with a penis, so I see no reason to assume I'm not gay. But that's just me.

Now i see a lot of homophobia in my friends as well.
I want to point out that i don't care one bit about what others think of me as i joke around.
My friends know I'm straight and if i was labeled gay by some it wouldn't phase me.

--

I don't seek guidance for myself, i'm just wondering about the general thought of the public.
Looking for anyone with the same observations.

To answer your question, no.

Please, go into greater detail

 

[Damien Granz]

Hey there, this might be a slightly strange question/incoming discussion.

Heres my situation, I'm 19, straight as an arrow, been in love several times and worship the luscious curves natures ripe female.
However i find myself very...gay.
Gay is in the origin of the word intermixed with the popular meaning.

Listening to George Takei talking about asslicking on Howard Stern made me roll on the floor with genuine laughter, naughty laughter.
However my good pal besides me froze up.

We share the same humor and after some "counseling" we came to the conclusion that he was not homophobic but felt explicit gay humor challenged his sexuality.
Not that he doubted his sexuality, but still felt it challenging.
I argued that he too was straight as an arrow, having seen his internet log once

So i ask this question, does being overly open to homosexual humor and yet never feeling sexually connected to any of it back up my claim of being sexually confident.
I find myself being so much more jokey and open about the subject than the norm.

Am i strange or are most guys secretly scared of being gay?

Lets keep this discussion civilized.

Listening to and liking gay a comedian or joke, doesn't magically make somebody gay for the same reason that watching Dave Chappelle doesn't magically make somebody black. You can't catch it. If you're gay, or bisexual, or... anything in the whole huge complicated umbrella of human sexuality, then you just are.

Laughing at a non 'politically correct' joke also doesn't make you instantly homophobic (or transgender-phobic, or.. etc.).

Don't feel the need to justify your sexuality by prefacing things like "I'm totally straight, by the way...", and don't make your friend feel that he has to do the same.

Your friend probably needs to chill out. If he's gay or whatever, he is, and if he's not, he's not going to catch it from the radio. You become confident in your sexuality just by being confident, and surrounded by people that don't try to tear you down or make you feel bad about yourself, in pretty much the same way you become confident in pretty much everything else.

 

[Bender Rodriguez]

snip

Listening to and liking gay comedian or joke, doesn't magically make somebody gay for the same reason that watching Dave Chappelle doesn't magically make somebody black. You can't catch it. If you're gay, or bisexual, or... anything in the whole huge complicated umbrella of human sexuality, then you just are.

Laughing at a non 'politically correct' joke also doesn't make you instantly homophobic (or transgender-phobic, or.. etc.).

Don't feel the need to justify your sexuality by prefacing things like "I'm totally straight, by the way...", and don't make your friend feel that he has to do the same.

Your friend probably needs to chill out. If he's gay or whatever, he is, and if he's not, he's not going to catch it from the radio.

Good answer, just to make things clear.
I posted that I'm straight on here because i started an online discussion.
Never care about it in other situations.

I understand that my original post might be a bit hard for some to understand, but I'm not seeking advice for myself.
I'm after your thoughts on the subject, your observations.

 

[BonsaiK]

So i ask this question, does being overly open to homosexual humor and yet never feeling sexually connected to any of it back up my claim of being sexually confident.

The fact that you're open to homosexual humour without feeling threatened by it certainly does suggest that, but the fact that it's occuring to you to ask yourself this question suggests the opposite, so those two things cancel each other out somewhat.

 

[Lunar Shadow]

I have to say I am fairly secure with my sexuality given the amount of gay chicken played with my male friends.
(Gay chicken is like regular chicken but with your sexuality instead of your car. Basically we jokingly flirt/,ake lewd comments about each other)

Edit: Holy hell, when did I go Gonzo?

 

[Damien Granz]

Sorry, I was referring to a sort of 'rhetorical' you, there.

Being truly confident in one's sexuality doesn't necessarily mean you have some sort of zen like mastery of your own desires or needs, or that you never grow or experience anything new, it just means that you are sure that whatever does come up, you know you can handle it, and it's not going to destroy you or your life, or knowing that it won't hurt you physically, and being around good people that reassure that it won't hurt you socially, and who don't tear you down or make you doubt yourself.

I guess my thoughts and observations are, I try not to feel challenged or threatened by things that in no way can or do put me at risk, and to be open-minded about realistically assessing things, without flipping out. It's a lot easier on the blood pressure.

If guys like your friend feel afraid of being gay, or challenged by the existence of difference (like a gay joke), it's because they in some way consciously or unconsciously believe both that whatever different is something that's bad to be (which it really shouldn't be in this case), and that they could just spontaneously be converted against their will, or that different people (or what not) are somehow threatening to whatever they happen to hold dear, and they can't co-exist (which, in this and probably almost all cases is ridiculous).

If your friend honestly believes he's not homophobic, he should ask himself why he feels challenged by something that can't really hurt him. And if he feels it can, why, and in theory hopefully getting him to see reason in why it really can't.

That's what I meant, above, about not needing to reaffirm one's sexuality. If you can build an atmosphere where people don't feel the need to reaffirm petty trivial things about themselves, because nobody is going to judge them or care about it negatively, then they'll learn to feel confident about whatever they are, even if they don't even know what they are (and it's a topic that not everyone really knows what the answer is for themselves).

Man, this has become way more preachy than I meant.

 

[scw55]

that they are, in fact, not gay. To the point where, they are CLEARLY homophobic.

Now I find the easiest way to deal with what I think you're asking is that people need to simply look at a penis and decide if they would ever DO anything SEXUAL to it, assuming it isn't theirs. That being part of the reason I consider myself bisexual, I've yet to find I wouldn't do anything naughty with a penis, so I see no reason to assume I'm not gay. But that's just me.

I don't think any sensable human of any sexual orientation would want to do anything sexual with any penis. Inless they're um, well, sex hungry.
I think it depends whoes penis. I wouldn't be surprised if there's straight men who do get freaked out by vaginas, but don't get freaked out by a specific lady's vagina.
I just myself believe annonymous sexual organs are very unattractive.

 

[moretimethansense]

My freind and myself crack gay jokes quite often and I wouln't quite say that I'm secure in my sexuality as such, but I don't feel uncomfortable making them or feel that my sexuality is in question.

I'm a (mostly) heterosexual male but I don't feel the need to go around saying as such, I see quite a few "secure" people that most certainly don't act like it, doin'g such things as drawing attention to the fact they like women, cat calling and of course the classic "I'm not gay" or "not in a gay way", we know!
Pointing it out just makes you look insecure.

Dude, I'm gonna be honest, I've very little clue of what you want here. I know some people who can't go 10 minutes without cracking a gay joke, and then immediately reassuring everyone nearby that they are, in fact, not gay. To the point where, they are CLEARLY homophobic.

Now I find the easiest way to deal with what I think you're asking is that people need to simply look at a penis and decide if they would ever DO anything SEXUAL to it, assuming it isn't theirs. That being part of the reason I consider myself bisexual, I've yet to find I wouldn't do anything naughty with a penis, so I see no reason to assume I'm not gay. But that's just me.

That depends entirely on the context.

 

[Damien Granz]

I don't think any sensable human of any sexual orientation would want to do anything sexual with any penis. Inless they're um, well, sex hungry.
I think it depends whoes penis. I wouldn't be surprised if there's straight men who do get freaked out by vaginas, but don't get freaked out by a specific lady's vagina.
I just myself believe annonymous sexual organs are very unattractive.

To be fair, just some random clinical assortment body parts without any meaning or context is likely to turn off most people regardless of their preferences.

Though there's likely to be exceptions, and I'm going to stop this train of thought before I think too hard on that.

 

[Matrixbeast]

To answer your question, no.

Please, go into greater detail

I honestly wish I could. But (In layman's terms) making/laughing at gay jokes won't turn you gay.