Hi all,
this is my Second Review/Critique thing, I know it definitely riddled with grammatical mistakes, and typo, and it kinda lame, but if you bear with me and give me some of you opinion,or some constructive criticism. I would really appreciate it.
Duke Nukem Forever
I'm gonna be frank here, I never played any of the previous Duke Nukem games before. This is probably because when the last one came out it was back in 96, and back than I was too busy trying to master the art of wiping my own ass. So no, I never understood why veterans of the gaming scene seem to regard Duke as some sort of messiah, whose return to the world of First Person Shooters will purge us of all the evil that Halo has wrought upon us. And after enduring Duke Nukem Forever for about eight hours or so, I came to the conclusion that either that, the veterans of the gaming scene are in fact all bat-shit-crazy, or that the series has aged like a bottle of once delicious chocolate milk that's been left out in the sun, for 14 too many years.
The game literally starts off with you talking a piss, which in retrospect may have been a secret metaphorical message left by the last one sane person in Gearbox warning us that the game was piss poor. After the finishing your piss, you'll walk out draw a penis on a whiteboard, walk around, and kill a giant boss monster, which is kinda exciting. But after that you realise that you just been inception'd, that you just been playing a game within a game, and that the last 5 minutes had just been a setup for a meta-joke, and from that point on things start to really go downhill.
In terms of the story, I went into the game expecting not much, and that's exactly what I got a simple shooter setting: alien evil, alien steal women, Duke likes women, so he kills alien. This is not a bad, it's just simple, if anything this comes to me as a bit a relief, since some shooter have taken it upon themselves to move forward the genera by over complicating a simple plot, through shifting player perspective consistently, until people just give up on following the plot. As for the dialogue it?s something that I personally didn't enjoy much I think this might have something with me not huffing enough glue to appreciate it. But I suspect that this is pretty close to what the fans want, since it's overly offensive, immature, unwitty, and cheesy, and that also not a bad thing, and a few lines even made me chuckle a bit, but overall it?s just feels a bit inorganic, the unsubtle nature which some of the jokes are delivered makes it feel, as if the writers were just trying to shove every immature joke and culture reference they could find into an already bloated turkey.
The gameplay itself could be described as sub-par at best; and for those who prayed that the Duke's return will expunge the FPS world of weapon limitations, and regenerating health. It looks your prays will be left unanswered, seeing how Duke now feels that carrying more than two weapons is just being unfair to his enemies, after discovering that he has the ability to use his ego as some sort of self-regenerating shield . But he did at one point mention Master Chief was a pussy, so you could probably take solace in that, or you could build a time machine go back and kill the problem yourself. But still it really is a pity because the variation of weapons available in DNF offers rather interesting ways to dispatch enemies, and by only letting you play with two of them at a time sort of diminishes the fun. As for his new found ego shield, it could have actually been good, considering that it allowed the game to have a faster paced combat, as oppose to the wall-hugging fest that modern shooters have turned into. But of course, the game fucks that up by having you feed his ego through performing completely retarded and arbitrary actions sequences which are littered around the game world. I mean I can understand how lifting weights could give you an ego boost. But getting an ego boost from pissing into the urinal, and throwing poo make ask myself that weather am I playing as Duke or a chimpanzee.
There seems to be some specks of greatness in the level designs, such as the platforming sections which you play as shrunken Duke. But all those specks are few and far between, in a brownish sea of tedious, unchanging levels, on a particular cloudy day. The driving sections handle well enough, when compared to other shooters, and is generally fun. Maybe its just me, but the lack of music other than the cars making vroom, vroom noises, really breaks the mood for me, stopping me from feeling like a complete badass.
Lastly, I'm not really sure what the graphic department in Gearbox have been doing in the last 5 years, because it sure as hell wasn't working on DNF. The game look like it?s at least 5 years old if not more. But graphics doesn't matter much as long the game offers some sort of unique aesthetic appeal right? Well, yes. But does DNF offer it? No, unless you consider tackiness, and over sexualisation to be aesthetically unique; because the game like a questionable "homophobic" person seem to think that if tits aren't mentioned every couple of minutes the people will start to think it's gay. So whenever it gets a chance the game will flaunt a pair of big o' titties in front of you, be it on a gold statue, a horribly pixelated, underage girl, an alien ship's wall, even on an alien boss monster. Which I personally find extremely offensive as the game really doesn't accommodate to the ass men crowd.
So to summarize, the game is like a recently unfrozen Neanderthal, a conduit that people hope will allow them to make a connection with the past. But the ugly little bastard doesn't want to do that, and all it wants is to be a douche and try to imitate modern people around him poorly; and though he does present some specks of goodness from a bygone era. But the overwhelming douchebaggery ultimately serves to only remind us, why our ancestors had killed them off, than forgot about them.it.
this is my Second Review/Critique thing, I know it definitely riddled with grammatical mistakes, and typo, and it kinda lame, but if you bear with me and give me some of you opinion,or some constructive criticism. I would really appreciate it.
Duke Nukem Forever
I'm gonna be frank here, I never played any of the previous Duke Nukem games before. This is probably because when the last one came out it was back in 96, and back than I was too busy trying to master the art of wiping my own ass. So no, I never understood why veterans of the gaming scene seem to regard Duke as some sort of messiah, whose return to the world of First Person Shooters will purge us of all the evil that Halo has wrought upon us. And after enduring Duke Nukem Forever for about eight hours or so, I came to the conclusion that either that, the veterans of the gaming scene are in fact all bat-shit-crazy, or that the series has aged like a bottle of once delicious chocolate milk that's been left out in the sun, for 14 too many years.
The game literally starts off with you talking a piss, which in retrospect may have been a secret metaphorical message left by the last one sane person in Gearbox warning us that the game was piss poor. After the finishing your piss, you'll walk out draw a penis on a whiteboard, walk around, and kill a giant boss monster, which is kinda exciting. But after that you realise that you just been inception'd, that you just been playing a game within a game, and that the last 5 minutes had just been a setup for a meta-joke, and from that point on things start to really go downhill.
In terms of the story, I went into the game expecting not much, and that's exactly what I got a simple shooter setting: alien evil, alien steal women, Duke likes women, so he kills alien. This is not a bad, it's just simple, if anything this comes to me as a bit a relief, since some shooter have taken it upon themselves to move forward the genera by over complicating a simple plot, through shifting player perspective consistently, until people just give up on following the plot. As for the dialogue it?s something that I personally didn't enjoy much I think this might have something with me not huffing enough glue to appreciate it. But I suspect that this is pretty close to what the fans want, since it's overly offensive, immature, unwitty, and cheesy, and that also not a bad thing, and a few lines even made me chuckle a bit, but overall it?s just feels a bit inorganic, the unsubtle nature which some of the jokes are delivered makes it feel, as if the writers were just trying to shove every immature joke and culture reference they could find into an already bloated turkey.
The gameplay itself could be described as sub-par at best; and for those who prayed that the Duke's return will expunge the FPS world of weapon limitations, and regenerating health. It looks your prays will be left unanswered, seeing how Duke now feels that carrying more than two weapons is just being unfair to his enemies, after discovering that he has the ability to use his ego as some sort of self-regenerating shield . But he did at one point mention Master Chief was a pussy, so you could probably take solace in that, or you could build a time machine go back and kill the problem yourself. But still it really is a pity because the variation of weapons available in DNF offers rather interesting ways to dispatch enemies, and by only letting you play with two of them at a time sort of diminishes the fun. As for his new found ego shield, it could have actually been good, considering that it allowed the game to have a faster paced combat, as oppose to the wall-hugging fest that modern shooters have turned into. But of course, the game fucks that up by having you feed his ego through performing completely retarded and arbitrary actions sequences which are littered around the game world. I mean I can understand how lifting weights could give you an ego boost. But getting an ego boost from pissing into the urinal, and throwing poo make ask myself that weather am I playing as Duke or a chimpanzee.
There seems to be some specks of greatness in the level designs, such as the platforming sections which you play as shrunken Duke. But all those specks are few and far between, in a brownish sea of tedious, unchanging levels, on a particular cloudy day. The driving sections handle well enough, when compared to other shooters, and is generally fun. Maybe its just me, but the lack of music other than the cars making vroom, vroom noises, really breaks the mood for me, stopping me from feeling like a complete badass.
Lastly, I'm not really sure what the graphic department in Gearbox have been doing in the last 5 years, because it sure as hell wasn't working on DNF. The game look like it?s at least 5 years old if not more. But graphics doesn't matter much as long the game offers some sort of unique aesthetic appeal right? Well, yes. But does DNF offer it? No, unless you consider tackiness, and over sexualisation to be aesthetically unique; because the game like a questionable "homophobic" person seem to think that if tits aren't mentioned every couple of minutes the people will start to think it's gay. So whenever it gets a chance the game will flaunt a pair of big o' titties in front of you, be it on a gold statue, a horribly pixelated, underage girl, an alien ship's wall, even on an alien boss monster. Which I personally find extremely offensive as the game really doesn't accommodate to the ass men crowd.
So to summarize, the game is like a recently unfrozen Neanderthal, a conduit that people hope will allow them to make a connection with the past. But the ugly little bastard doesn't want to do that, and all it wants is to be a douche and try to imitate modern people around him poorly; and though he does present some specks of goodness from a bygone era. But the overwhelming douchebaggery ultimately serves to only remind us, why our ancestors had killed them off, than forgot about them.it.