Favorite historical fails.

[The Infamous Scamola]

The title says it all, this thread is about your favorite failures in history.

It can be an event, a battle, a person or anything else you can think of that has to do with history.

My favorite historical fail would have to be the "Darien scheme".
It was a failed attempt by Scotland to establish a colony in the Panama Isthmus in the 1690s.
The scheme was unsuccesful, caused the Kingdom of Scotland to get into great debt and was one of the major causes of the 1707 unification act with England.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dari%C3%A9n_Scheme

Anyway, that was mine, but if you have any favorites, feel free to add something.

 

[bodyklok]

I always thought the Falklands conflict was pretty funny. Discovered by spain, then by Britian (without knowledge that Spain had discovered it first) and then settled years later by Britian. Decades later Argentina says it belongs to them and so Britain asks the Falklanders and they decided they are British it's left at that more or less, until the Argentine dictator (Leopoldo Galtieri) takes it by force in order to save his crumbling government (He restors national pride). And so the British dictator (Margret Thatcer) takes it back to save her crumbling government. (Againe national pride) Britain wins, Argentina's dictatorship falls and everyone, except the families of the thousand or so people who died in that pointless conflict, is happy.

Also the Maginot Line.

 

[Lukeje]

Would this be a thread about things like people's repeated attempts to invade Russia during the winter? You'd think they'd learn from the first guy that tried it.

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

I still love the guy (can't remember his name) who stood before his troops and said "Why are you hiding? They couldn't shoot an elephant at this dist--"

Apparently it was a headshot too.

 

[gh0ti]

There have been lots on the military side of things:

Hitler invades Poland/Russia/declares war on the USA

Argentina invades the Falklands

Spanish Armada

But my favourite has to be something a little bit more obscure: Empress Matilda somehow managing to fail to take the English crown in 1141 despite having decisively beaten King Stephen in battle, capturing him, and thus being able to ride into London as "Lady of the English".

 

[Ushario]

The French defence against a German attack relied on the Germans not going around the France/Germany border, in effect relying on another nations border to protect them.

Guess how long that lasted?!

 

[Bubski]

I would have to say the Battle of Hampton Roads during the American Civil War. After shooting at each other for almost a day, the two most technologically advanced warships in the conflict failed to even scratch each other.

EPIC FAIL

 

[WrongSprite]

I still love the guy (can't remember his name) who stood before his troops and said "Why are you hiding? They couldn't shoot an elephant at this dist--"

Apparently it was a headshot too.

Damn you got there before me XD

 

[CrazyFikus]

These are more about science...

Phlogiston was used to explain why matter burned, and for a long time it was considered a scientific fact, it has since been debunked.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phlogiston

Then we have the Luminiferous aether that explained how light moved through the universe, as in sound moves through matter like air or water, and therefore light needed something to move through as well. Also considered a fact for a long time, debunked by Albert Einstein.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luminiferous_aether

 

[Fingerprint]

Would this be a thread about things like people's repeated attempts to invade Russia during the winter? You'd think they'd learn from the first guy that tried it.

The saying goes: "those who forget history are condemned to repeat it."

 

[Rolling 20]

Vietnam War......not that the US Government would admit it =P

 

[Ultress]

The French defence against a German attack relied on the Germans not going around the France/Germany border, in effect relying on another nations border to protect them.

Guess how long that lasted?!

It would have worked but an advisor talked Hitler out of that plan.

 

[S.H.A.R.P.]

I have to say the Battle of Assaye [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Assaye]. The Maratha Confederacy had a major numerical advantage, even though they were mostly cavalry. The number of canons was also astounding, and must have been terrifying for the British troops. Yet with ultimate confidence, the Brits marched towards the cannons, and the Indians routed like battered geese. Beautiful.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

Vietnam War......not that the US Government would admit it =P

Vietnam was the epitome of fail.

 

[traceur_]

the flat earth theory, EPIC FAIL!!!

sadly there are still some retards who actually believe it.

 

[F17]

The Maginot Line, built on the border between France and Germany between WWI and WWII. Heaps of bunkers, machine guns, artillery, all that - and the Germans just sauntered around it.

 

[Tech Team FTW!]

Guy Fawkes' attempt to blow up Brititsh parliament while it was in session. British people do get a public holiday for it though... So I declare it an epic success!

 

[SirDeadly]

Operation Valkyrie, they failed to kill hitler

 

[oliveira8]

the flat earth theory, EPIC FAIL!!!

sadly there are still some retards who actually believe it.

What you saying there is no Ice wall?!?