Female trouble

[nilco]

Hi, first off let me appologize for my bad grammer, im not a native english speaker.

So there's this girl I've been meeting on and off for a few months now, I really like her and all, but im unsure how she feels about me. But thats not the problem here.

The problem is that everything has been going great and we have fun together. So out of the blue somtimes I just cant reach her, if I send a text I get no response, if I call she just lets it ring. It happend once before so I stopped trying to reach her and a few days later she contacted me like normal and we hung out like nothing had happend.

It just happend again and I've been unable to get a response from her since I got back from my holiday 4 days ago, since I got back I sent her to text-messages and phoned her twice, no response to either, so I gave up yesterday and said fuck it and kinda removed her from my phone so I couldent text or phone her, I did this because I really like her and frankly never had anyone ever ignore me before so im a bit miffed about it.

So my question is basiclly, am I to thick-headed to realize that this girl just dont like me and wont respond to my texts or calls because of it? Or might there be some other underlying thing?

 

[SturmDolch]

Maybe she just doesn't take phoning or texting seriously. To her, it might be more of a, "Oh, he called. Maybe he'll call again later," thing instead of, "Oh, he called. I'll call him back soon."

Either way, you should just ask her, i.e. why didn't you call me back?

 

[burningdragoon]

There is definitely the possibility that you are over analyzing the phone thing. Not saying nothing's up, but you should consider that maybe she just couldn't get back to you right away.

 

[rutger5000]

Think you're over analyzing the thing. Anyway text/call her (use voice mail if you can't reach her) and ask her the on a date somewhere next weekend (the weekend after this) I would use something like "Hey crazy idea let's go on a date somewhere next weekend, see how that turns out". She should have plenty of time to react before that. If she doesn't react at all, she is kind of a ***** and you're better of without her, and otherwise you'll know what you're chances are. (That is real or non-existent).
If you ever get dating and she still has that phone trouble you can address it sometime (recommend fourth or latter date). Take the word of an expert honesty and openness (but subtlety at times) makes every problem in life a lot easier, and makes you a happier person.
Last remark. Signals are NOT a valid way of communication, never go with a signal only go with words and at times your guts, but never a signal.

 

[SiskoBlue]

My guess is that she likes you but if she's doing something else she enjoys she's not interested. This doesn't mean she's seeing someone else. Think of it like this. You have a friend you play tennis with. You like tennis. But this person seems to want to play tennis more often than you. So when you're not in the mood for tennis you have two choices. Either tell the person, who might feel hurt by the rejection, or avoid the issue by ignoring their calls.

But you're not a game of tennis. Do you always do the same things, or talk about a particular thing with her? It sounds like she might just see you as her "tennis" friend and not giving you enough credit that you could do other things with her. Only you know the depth of your relationship with her.

She might also be a bit commitment shy. You may want to spend all your spare time with her but she doesn't want to spend all hers with you. Again don't feel rejected, people have different wants and needs at different times. She might just have other interests but at the moment you're happy for her to take up a large amount of your time.

 

[zombiesinc]

So my question is basiclly, am I to thick-headed to realize that this girl just dont like me and wont respond to my texts or calls because of it? Or might there be some other underlying thing?

As already suggested, it may be that you're over-analyzing the situation. If you really like her, I would advise against removing any means of contacting her, at least until you know, for sure, if she's ignoring you or actually busy. Unless you bring this up with her and confirm one way or the other, there's really no point in stressing over the possibilities.

Talk to her, figure out what's going on, and go from there. Once you have a better understanding of what's going on at her end, you'll know where you stand, and what you should/would like to do.

 

[WingedIncubus]

The problem is that everything has been going great and we have fun together. So out of the blue somtimes I just cant reach her, if I send a text I get no response, if I call she just lets it ring. It happend once before so I stopped trying to reach her and a few days later she contacted me like normal and we hung out like nothing had happend.

It just happend again and I've been unable to get a response from her since I got back from my holiday 4 days ago, since I got back I sent her to text-messages and phoned her twice, no response to either, so I gave up yesterday and said fuck it and kinda removed her from my phone so I couldent text or phone her, I did this because I really like her and frankly never had anyone ever ignore me before so im a bit miffed about it.

So my question is basiclly, am I to thick-headed to realize that this girl just dont like me and wont respond to my texts or calls because of it? Or might there be some other underlying thing?

You did the right thing.

Think of it like this, if you were f'ing Brad Pitt (or replace by any of her heartthrob) and you were calling her, would she do that to you? Would she be that unreliable to reach and catch up? No, she wouldn't. She'd answer you in a second if she could, sometimes even if she couldn't. She'd find time for you.

She was not that into you anymore, no. Women who are into you either answer the phone, text you back, or apologize later with a reasonable explanation that they couldn't answer and come with something to make it up to you, because she doesn't want to offend you and lose you. And the worst is, it could be for a variety of reasons, some of them totally out of your control.

So move on, and let her chase. If she calls back and asks why you don't call her anymore, tell her you have other things to do. If she texts back, wait a long while (like a few hours) before texting back. Oh, and go chase other girls! Don't hide it, you don't belong to her.

If she doesn't attempt to join you back, at least you know where you stand and you aren't losing your time anymore.

Now I am not saying to be mean and whine that "she doesn't call back". That's needy and weak. Continue to be cool as usual, except that this time you aren't that available for her. The cool guy hasn't time to waste on flakes and girls with cold feet. If she starts calling you or texting you on her own, that's a good sign. But you have to make a move. Ask her out for a walk on a Saturday afternoon or something.

May I ask you why you never asked her to a date? Maybe she got tired because, to her, you were hot and cold and she didn't know where to stand. Someday you've got to make a move, you know, you cannot drag it for weeks.

 

[nilco]

First of thanks for all the answers, I meet her today but didnt bother asking why she does this shit, I did what I said and didnt contact her for awhile but she had bad weekend and I figure thats why she ignored me. She's a troubled girl with alot of problems, thats the only girl I ever meet it seems

And to wingedincubus, I know all those small "tacics" if we wanna call em that, and the reason I never took her on a date is because where im from we dont really have the dating culture which for me is totally american, but on that note I have been thinking of taking her out to dinner for a long time but I can never rly find the time myself. But Ill take her out to dinner next week. If I ask her she will say yes because people rarely deny free food

Thanks for the answers people, keep the thread running if you guys got more tips etc

 

[Erana]

The problem is that everything has been going great and we have fun together. So out of the blue somtimes I just cant reach her, if I send a text I get no response, if I call she just lets it ring. It happend once before so I stopped trying to reach her and a few days later she contacted me like normal and we hung out like nothing had happend.

It just happend again and I've been unable to get a response from her since I got back from my holiday 4 days ago, since I got back I sent her to text-messages and phoned her twice, no response to either, so I gave up yesterday and said fuck it and kinda removed her from my phone so I couldent text or phone her, I did this because I really like her and frankly never had anyone ever ignore me before so im a bit miffed about it.

So my question is basiclly, am I to thick-headed to realize that this girl just dont like me and wont respond to my texts or calls because of it? Or might there be some other underlying thing?

You did the right thing.

Think of it like this, if you were f'ing Brad Pitt (or replace by any of her heartthrob) and you were calling her, would she do that to you? Would she be that unreliable to reach and catch up? No, she wouldn't. She'd answer you in a second if she could, sometimes even if she couldn't. She'd find time for you.

She was not that into you anymore, no. Women who are into you either answer the phone, text you back, or apologize later with a reasonable explanation that they couldn't answer and come with something to make it up to you, because she doesn't want to offend you and lose you. And the worst is, it could be for a variety of reasons, some of them totally out of your control.

So move on, and let her chase. If she calls back and asks why you don't call her anymore, tell her you have other things to do. If she texts back, wait a long while (like a few hours) before texting back. Oh, and go chase other girls! Don't hide it, you don't belong to her.

If she doesn't attempt to join you back, at least you know where you stand and you aren't losing your time anymore.

Now I am not saying to be mean and whine that "she doesn't call back". That's needy and weak. Continue to be cool as usual, except that this time you aren't that available for her. The cool guy hasn't time to waste on flakes and girls with cold feet. If she starts calling you or texting you on her own, that's a good sign. But you have to make a move. Ask her out for a walk on a Saturday afternoon or something.

May I ask you why you never asked her to a date? Maybe she got tired because, to her, you were hot and cold and she didn't know where to stand. Someday you've got to make a move, you know, you cannot drag it for weeks.

What?

Is this seriously how guys take a girl not immediately responding to them?

In my personal experience, male friends are just friends. Unless we, say, were interrupted during an important conversation, I'm not going to drop everything I'm doing to make casual chit-chat with an associate. And nor should I be expected to.
If he was calling her because he needed her emotional support, or something, and she didn't respond, then there might be grounds for being upset, but nothing happened here.

Playing mind games like this is ridiculous. You go on about how you hate people messing with your head, but you insist that you should turn everything you do to the other person into a mind game? In the vast majority of times, the other person isn't doing anything like this to you- you've just put all these false messages and meaning onto their behaviors.

That means that you're the one being the cruel person here. How's the other person supposed to feel, especially when they are, in all likelihood, completely innocent of malice in their actions?

I don't play mind games. But I've been on the wrong end of someone's conspiracy theories about my behavior, and it is hurtful and painful. How could you go and purposefully do that to someone else, especially if you supposedly like them?

Also, I bet if Brad Pitt or someone famous and obscenely rich were to call you, you'd be hanging on every word just to figure out why the Hell they were calling. -.-

 

[nilco]

The problem is that everything has been going great and we have fun together. So out of the blue somtimes I just cant reach her, if I send a text I get no response, if I call she just lets it ring. It happend once before so I stopped trying to reach her and a few days later she contacted me like normal and we hung out like nothing had happend.

It just happend again and I've been unable to get a response from her since I got back from my holiday 4 days ago, since I got back I sent her to text-messages and phoned her twice, no response to either, so I gave up yesterday and said fuck it and kinda removed her from my phone so I couldent text or phone her, I did this because I really like her and frankly never had anyone ever ignore me before so im a bit miffed about it.

So my question is basiclly, am I to thick-headed to realize that this girl just dont like me and wont respond to my texts or calls because of it? Or might there be some other underlying thing?

You did the right thing.

Think of it like this, if you were f'ing Brad Pitt (or replace by any of her heartthrob) and you were calling her, would she do that to you? Would she be that unreliable to reach and catch up? No, she wouldn't. She'd answer you in a second if she could, sometimes even if she couldn't. She'd find time for you.

She was not that into you anymore, no. Women who are into you either answer the phone, text you back, or apologize later with a reasonable explanation that they couldn't answer and come with something to make it up to you, because she doesn't want to offend you and lose you. And the worst is, it could be for a variety of reasons, some of them totally out of your control.

So move on, and let her chase. If she calls back and asks why you don't call her anymore, tell her you have other things to do. If she texts back, wait a long while (like a few hours) before texting back. Oh, and go chase other girls! Don't hide it, you don't belong to her.

If she doesn't attempt to join you back, at least you know where you stand and you aren't losing your time anymore.

Now I am not saying to be mean and whine that "she doesn't call back". That's needy and weak. Continue to be cool as usual, except that this time you aren't that available for her. The cool guy hasn't time to waste on flakes and girls with cold feet. If she starts calling you or texting you on her own, that's a good sign. But you have to make a move. Ask her out for a walk on a Saturday afternoon or something.

May I ask you why you never asked her to a date? Maybe she got tired because, to her, you were hot and cold and she didn't know where to stand. Someday you've got to make a move, you know, you cannot drag it for weeks.

What?

Is this seriously how guys take a girl not immediately responding to them?

In my personal experience, male friends are just friends. Unless we, say, were interrupted during an important conversation, I'm not going to drop everything I'm doing to make casual chit-chat with an associate. And nor should I be expected to.
If he was calling her because he needed her emotional support, or something, and she didn't respond, then there might be grounds for being upset, but nothing happened here.

Playing mind games like this is ridiculous. You go on about how you hate people messing with your head, but you insist that you should turn everything you do to the other person into a mind game? In the vast majority of times, the other person isn't doing anything like this to you- you've just put all these false messages and meaning onto their behaviors.

That means that you're the one being the cruel person here. How's the other person supposed to feel, especially when they are, in all likelihood, completely innocent of malice in their actions?

I don't play mind games. But I've been on the wrong end of someone's conspiracy theories about my behavior, and it is hurtful and painful. How could you go and purposefully do that to someone else, especially if you supposedly like them?

Also, I bet if Brad Pitt or someone famous and obscenely rich were to call you, you'd be hanging on every word just to figure out why the Hell they were calling. -.-

I dont see what you mean, the mindgames behind when to text and how often and who you respond to and how fast are all natural, the celebrity annology might have been abit out of proportion but the underlying message is the same, if you like someone you respond.

And im sure not ALL guys take someone not responding within a few days like I do, but I see us like more then associates as you call it, and the questions arised from me thinking she did too (I still think she views me as more then a friend)

And back to the mind games, in my personal oppinion I view the game of love as one big mind game, almost everything you do while in love is carefully planed actions if your a guy. What a guy does to a girl is called seduction and for me its alot similar to normal deception and manipulation. You try to get the girl to like you. How? You try to mold yourself into the person she wants to be with. Being "yourself" hardly ever works for a guy. Girls might say they want a guy who is just himself but the true self nevery truly comes out.

 

[Erana]

The problem is that everything has been going great and we have fun together. So out of the blue somtimes I just cant reach her, if I send a text I get no response, if I call she just lets it ring. It happend once before so I stopped trying to reach her and a few days later she contacted me like normal and we hung out like nothing had happend.

It just happend again and I've been unable to get a response from her since I got back from my holiday 4 days ago, since I got back I sent her to text-messages and phoned her twice, no response to either, so I gave up yesterday and said fuck it and kinda removed her from my phone so I couldent text or phone her, I did this because I really like her and frankly never had anyone ever ignore me before so im a bit miffed about it.

So my question is basiclly, am I to thick-headed to realize that this girl just dont like me and wont respond to my texts or calls because of it? Or might there be some other underlying thing?

You did the right thing.

Think of it like this, if you were f'ing Brad Pitt (or replace by any of her heartthrob) and you were calling her, would she do that to you? Would she be that unreliable to reach and catch up? No, she wouldn't. She'd answer you in a second if she could, sometimes even if she couldn't. She'd find time for you.

She was not that into you anymore, no. Women who are into you either answer the phone, text you back, or apologize later with a reasonable explanation that they couldn't answer and come with something to make it up to you, because she doesn't want to offend you and lose you. And the worst is, it could be for a variety of reasons, some of them totally out of your control.

So move on, and let her chase. If she calls back and asks why you don't call her anymore, tell her you have other things to do. If she texts back, wait a long while (like a few hours) before texting back. Oh, and go chase other girls! Don't hide it, you don't belong to her.

If she doesn't attempt to join you back, at least you know where you stand and you aren't losing your time anymore.

Now I am not saying to be mean and whine that "she doesn't call back". That's needy and weak. Continue to be cool as usual, except that this time you aren't that available for her. The cool guy hasn't time to waste on flakes and girls with cold feet. If she starts calling you or texting you on her own, that's a good sign. But you have to make a move. Ask her out for a walk on a Saturday afternoon or something.

May I ask you why you never asked her to a date? Maybe she got tired because, to her, you were hot and cold and she didn't know where to stand. Someday you've got to make a move, you know, you cannot drag it for weeks.

What?

Is this seriously how guys take a girl not immediately responding to them?

In my personal experience, male friends are just friends. Unless we, say, were interrupted during an important conversation, I'm not going to drop everything I'm doing to make casual chit-chat with an associate. And nor should I be expected to.
If he was calling her because he needed her emotional support, or something, and she didn't respond, then there might be grounds for being upset, but nothing happened here.

Playing mind games like this is ridiculous. You go on about how you hate people messing with your head, but you insist that you should turn everything you do to the other person into a mind game? In the vast majority of times, the other person isn't doing anything like this to you- you've just put all these false messages and meaning onto their behaviors.

That means that you're the one being the cruel person here. How's the other person supposed to feel, especially when they are, in all likelihood, completely innocent of malice in their actions?

I don't play mind games. But I've been on the wrong end of someone's conspiracy theories about my behavior, and it is hurtful and painful. How could you go and purposefully do that to someone else, especially if you supposedly like them?

Also, I bet if Brad Pitt or someone famous and obscenely rich were to call you, you'd be hanging on every word just to figure out why the Hell they were calling. -.-

I dont see what you mean, the mindgames behind when to text and how often and who you respond to and how fast are all natural, the celebrity annology might have been abit out of proportion but the underlying message is the same, if you like someone you respond.

And im sure not ALL guys take someone not responding within a few days like I do, but I see us like more then associates as you call it, and the questions arised from me thinking she did too (I still think she views me as more then a friend)

And back to the mind games, in my personal oppinion I view the game of love as one big mind game, almost everything you do while in love is carefully planed actions if your a guy. What a guy does to a girl is called seduction and for me its alot similar to normal deception and manipulation. You try to get the girl to like you. How? You try to mold yourself into the person she wants to be with. Being "yourself" hardly ever works for a guy. Girls might say they want a guy who is just himself but the true self nevery truly comes out.

When someone texts is natural, making assumptions about their intention is not. Why does there have to be all this protocol and procedure to any interaction? Why would someone want to enter into a relationship when the other person will get angry and upset at them over an enigma as simple as not contacting them for a handful of days?
Unless you just want to get in a girl's pants, why bother with a relationship if they can't function just as friends?

If anything, you should give your friend here the benefit of the doubt. You don't know her feelings, and therefore the relationship is just a friendship. If her not talking to you for more than a few days bothers you, do what people do in any good relationships and talk to her about it. And don't blame her, or anything, just tell her that you were uncomfortable with those days of silence. Trust is what makes a good foundation for a relationship.
It won't make you look weak or pathetic to her unless she's a shallow moron who can't comprehend that men do, in fact, have feelings. If that's the case, she really isn't worth your time.

 

[nilco]

The problem is that everything has been going great and we have fun together. So out of the blue somtimes I just cant reach her, if I send a text I get no response, if I call she just lets it ring. It happend once before so I stopped trying to reach her and a few days later she contacted me like normal and we hung out like nothing had happend.

It just happend again and I've been unable to get a response from her since I got back from my holiday 4 days ago, since I got back I sent her to text-messages and phoned her twice, no response to either, so I gave up yesterday and said fuck it and kinda removed her from my phone so I couldent text or phone her, I did this because I really like her and frankly never had anyone ever ignore me before so im a bit miffed about it.

So my question is basiclly, am I to thick-headed to realize that this girl just dont like me and wont respond to my texts or calls because of it? Or might there be some other underlying thing?

You did the right thing.

Think of it like this, if you were f'ing Brad Pitt (or replace by any of her heartthrob) and you were calling her, would she do that to you? Would she be that unreliable to reach and catch up? No, she wouldn't. She'd answer you in a second if she could, sometimes even if she couldn't. She'd find time for you.

She was not that into you anymore, no. Women who are into you either answer the phone, text you back, or apologize later with a reasonable explanation that they couldn't answer and come with something to make it up to you, because she doesn't want to offend you and lose you. And the worst is, it could be for a variety of reasons, some of them totally out of your control.

So move on, and let her chase. If she calls back and asks why you don't call her anymore, tell her you have other things to do. If she texts back, wait a long while (like a few hours) before texting back. Oh, and go chase other girls! Don't hide it, you don't belong to her.

If she doesn't attempt to join you back, at least you know where you stand and you aren't losing your time anymore.

Now I am not saying to be mean and whine that "she doesn't call back". That's needy and weak. Continue to be cool as usual, except that this time you aren't that available for her. The cool guy hasn't time to waste on flakes and girls with cold feet. If she starts calling you or texting you on her own, that's a good sign. But you have to make a move. Ask her out for a walk on a Saturday afternoon or something.

May I ask you why you never asked her to a date? Maybe she got tired because, to her, you were hot and cold and she didn't know where to stand. Someday you've got to make a move, you know, you cannot drag it for weeks.

What?

Is this seriously how guys take a girl not immediately responding to them?

In my personal experience, male friends are just friends. Unless we, say, were interrupted during an important conversation, I'm not going to drop everything I'm doing to make casual chit-chat with an associate. And nor should I be expected to.
If he was calling her because he needed her emotional support, or something, and she didn't respond, then there might be grounds for being upset, but nothing happened here.

Playing mind games like this is ridiculous. You go on about how you hate people messing with your head, but you insist that you should turn everything you do to the other person into a mind game? In the vast majority of times, the other person isn't doing anything like this to you- you've just put all these false messages and meaning onto their behaviors.

That means that you're the one being the cruel person here. How's the other person supposed to feel, especially when they are, in all likelihood, completely innocent of malice in their actions?

I don't play mind games. But I've been on the wrong end of someone's conspiracy theories about my behavior, and it is hurtful and painful. How could you go and purposefully do that to someone else, especially if you supposedly like them?

Also, I bet if Brad Pitt or someone famous and obscenely rich were to call you, you'd be hanging on every word just to figure out why the Hell they were calling. -.-

I dont see what you mean, the mindgames behind when to text and how often and who you respond to and how fast are all natural, the celebrity annology might have been abit out of proportion but the underlying message is the same, if you like someone you respond.

And im sure not ALL guys take someone not responding within a few days like I do, but I see us like more then associates as you call it, and the questions arised from me thinking she did too (I still think she views me as more then a friend)

And back to the mind games, in my personal oppinion I view the game of love as one big mind game, almost everything you do while in love is carefully planed actions if your a guy. What a guy does to a girl is called seduction and for me its alot similar to normal deception and manipulation. You try to get the girl to like you. How? You try to mold yourself into the person she wants to be with. Being "yourself" hardly ever works for a guy. Girls might say they want a guy who is just himself but the true self nevery truly comes out.

When someone texts is natural, making assumptions about their intention is not. Why does there have to be all this protocol and procedure to any interaction? Why would someone want to enter into a relationship when the other person will get angry and upset at them over an enigma as simple as not contacting them for a handful of days?
Unless you just want to get in a girl's pants, why bother with a relationship if they can't function just as friends?

If anything, you should give your friend here the benefit of the doubt. You don't know her feelings, and therefore the relationship is just a friendship. If her not talking to you for more than a few days bothers you, do what people do in any good relationships and talk to her about it. And don't blame her, or anything, just tell her that you were uncomfortable with those days of silence. Trust is what makes a good foundation for a relationship.
It won't make you look weak or pathetic to her unless she's a shallow moron who can't comprehend that men do, in fact, have feelings. If that's the case, she really isn't worth your time.

I agree with all you say, either way after going throught my messages I've seen something that has made me think that she rly isent worth my time. I've seen that the only time she contacted me is when she needed something from me, one time it was because she needed someone to drive her home, which I gladly did and the other time she needed to borrow some money.

Both of the times I complied because I never say no to ANYONE, if I can help someone I do. So what do we make of this? Maby im reading to much into this AGAIN but it sorta feels like she's using my kindness dosent it?

 

[Erana]

The problem is that everything has been going great and we have fun together. So out of the blue somtimes I just cant reach her, if I send a text I get no response, if I call she just lets it ring. It happend once before so I stopped trying to reach her and a few days later she contacted me like normal and we hung out like nothing had happend.

It just happend again and I've been unable to get a response from her since I got back from my holiday 4 days ago, since I got back I sent her to text-messages and phoned her twice, no response to either, so I gave up yesterday and said fuck it and kinda removed her from my phone so I couldent text or phone her, I did this because I really like her and frankly never had anyone ever ignore me before so im a bit miffed about it.

So my question is basiclly, am I to thick-headed to realize that this girl just dont like me and wont respond to my texts or calls because of it? Or might there be some other underlying thing?

You did the right thing.

Think of it like this, if you were f'ing Brad Pitt (or replace by any of her heartthrob) and you were calling her, would she do that to you? Would she be that unreliable to reach and catch up? No, she wouldn't. She'd answer you in a second if she could, sometimes even if she couldn't. She'd find time for you.

She was not that into you anymore, no. Women who are into you either answer the phone, text you back, or apologize later with a reasonable explanation that they couldn't answer and come with something to make it up to you, because she doesn't want to offend you and lose you. And the worst is, it could be for a variety of reasons, some of them totally out of your control.

So move on, and let her chase. If she calls back and asks why you don't call her anymore, tell her you have other things to do. If she texts back, wait a long while (like a few hours) before texting back. Oh, and go chase other girls! Don't hide it, you don't belong to her.

If she doesn't attempt to join you back, at least you know where you stand and you aren't losing your time anymore.

Now I am not saying to be mean and whine that "she doesn't call back". That's needy and weak. Continue to be cool as usual, except that this time you aren't that available for her. The cool guy hasn't time to waste on flakes and girls with cold feet. If she starts calling you or texting you on her own, that's a good sign. But you have to make a move. Ask her out for a walk on a Saturday afternoon or something.

May I ask you why you never asked her to a date? Maybe she got tired because, to her, you were hot and cold and she didn't know where to stand. Someday you've got to make a move, you know, you cannot drag it for weeks.

What?

Is this seriously how guys take a girl not immediately responding to them?

In my personal experience, male friends are just friends. Unless we, say, were interrupted during an important conversation, I'm not going to drop everything I'm doing to make casual chit-chat with an associate. And nor should I be expected to.
If he was calling her because he needed her emotional support, or something, and she didn't respond, then there might be grounds for being upset, but nothing happened here.

Playing mind games like this is ridiculous. You go on about how you hate people messing with your head, but you insist that you should turn everything you do to the other person into a mind game? In the vast majority of times, the other person isn't doing anything like this to you- you've just put all these false messages and meaning onto their behaviors.

That means that you're the one being the cruel person here. How's the other person supposed to feel, especially when they are, in all likelihood, completely innocent of malice in their actions?

I don't play mind games. But I've been on the wrong end of someone's conspiracy theories about my behavior, and it is hurtful and painful. How could you go and purposefully do that to someone else, especially if you supposedly like them?

Also, I bet if Brad Pitt or someone famous and obscenely rich were to call you, you'd be hanging on every word just to figure out why the Hell they were calling. -.-

I dont see what you mean, the mindgames behind when to text and how often and who you respond to and how fast are all natural, the celebrity annology might have been abit out of proportion but the underlying message is the same, if you like someone you respond.

And im sure not ALL guys take someone not responding within a few days like I do, but I see us like more then associates as you call it, and the questions arised from me thinking she did too (I still think she views me as more then a friend)

And back to the mind games, in my personal oppinion I view the game of love as one big mind game, almost everything you do while in love is carefully planed actions if your a guy. What a guy does to a girl is called seduction and for me its alot similar to normal deception and manipulation. You try to get the girl to like you. How? You try to mold yourself into the person she wants to be with. Being "yourself" hardly ever works for a guy. Girls might say they want a guy who is just himself but the true self nevery truly comes out.

When someone texts is natural, making assumptions about their intention is not. Why does there have to be all this protocol and procedure to any interaction? Why would someone want to enter into a relationship when the other person will get angry and upset at them over an enigma as simple as not contacting them for a handful of days?
Unless you just want to get in a girl's pants, why bother with a relationship if they can't function just as friends?

If anything, you should give your friend here the benefit of the doubt. You don't know her feelings, and therefore the relationship is just a friendship. If her not talking to you for more than a few days bothers you, do what people do in any good relationships and talk to her about it. And don't blame her, or anything, just tell her that you were uncomfortable with those days of silence. Trust is what makes a good foundation for a relationship.
It won't make you look weak or pathetic to her unless she's a shallow moron who can't comprehend that men do, in fact, have feelings. If that's the case, she really isn't worth your time.

I agree with all you say, either way after going throught my messages I've seen something that has made me think that she rly isent worth my time. I've seen that the only time she contacted me is when she needed something from me, one time it was because she needed someone to drive her home, which I gladly did and the other time she needed to borrow some money.

Both of the times I complied because I never say no to ANYONE, if I can help someone I do. So what do we make of this? Maby im reading to much into this AGAIN but it sorta feels like she's using my kindness dosent it?

Go have dinner, like you said you were planning. Invite her for other activities, too, like going on a walk. At this point, yall are still just on a friend basis, so you aren't really obligated to pay for everything or do too much different than you would with a male friend. (At least by American standards)
If she feels like she can communicate comfortably with you and rely on you when she needs a hand, those might be a sign of a potentially strong friendship with romantic possibilities. Increasing your face time with her is a good way to see where this could go.

 

[nilco]

Right, ill ride the wave and see where it takes me

Any suggestions as to what type of resturant to take her? I dont mean like what food type or names of places, I mean what 'kind' of resturant I.E a fancy one or a romantic one etc, ill pay for it because money aint an issue for me but it its for her due to her life situation. To better give me a tip ill just add that im 19 and she's 17.

She hasent rly been out to many resturants in her life and I dont want to bring her someplace where she will feel uneasy.

And to point another thing out is that the LAST thing I want to do is get into her panties as you asked a few post back, im not really intrested in that aspect at this time, she's stunningly beautiful and all but im intrested in her on another level.

 

[Penguinness]

For the restaraunt thing, it depends where you are in this relationship. From the first post it would seem a bit strange to go for a fancy or romantic one at this stage, although thinking about it I haven't really seen romantic or fancy ones.. I'm guessing you mean something that just charges more money? I'd also add that if you do want to take her to an expensive restaraunt, she may not be too pleased because she can't afford it and you have to pay for her because it's a little demeaning.. but I'm sure thats just personal preference of some people.

So.. I don't know, avoid a chain fastfood place and go for a regular restaraunt for lunch.

Don't worry about this so much or seek guidance from a forum either.. (especially a game related one). I don't think anything said here will help you reach whatever thing you want to get with her more than you could do without this advice.

 

[mik1]

This same sort of thing happened to me. I didn't know where she wanted our relationship to stand. I didn't know how far to take it and I saw all the signs and for some reason I convinced myself she liked me and it was time to take the relationship to "the next level"

I was wrong.

But I'm happy I know and I recommend you do what you need to figure out where your relationship lies.