Friends With Benefits

[hyperhammy]

I was talking to a friend of mine (and for the sake of keeping this story as easy to understand as possible, let's call her "M") and discussing over relationship views.
I think it's possible for the whole "Friends With Benefits" to work, but she said that no girl would ever accept that, and said it's stupid and that my understanding of women is completely fucked up!

I was just talking to an old friend ("L" also a girl, I happen to have a lot of female friends) from way back and she completely agreed with me, and even is friends with benefits with some guy, same thing with her best friend. ("A", female, starting to get along really well, wish me luck!)

So my question to you is, do you think the whole friends with benefits thing can work, if both parties agree on the topic?

 

[Tipsy Giant]

It can but it usually ends up in a relationship as feelings eventually get involved

 

[Madshire]

Do i think it can work when both groups agree? Yes, its not really a matter of opinion. It works, its been happening for a while now. Instead the majority of people who partake don't bring it on to forums.

 

[BlackStar42]

If you want it, go for it. For me, it'd feel too weird and I'd want a proper relationship. If it was me, it'd feel...wrong to sleep with my female friends.

 

[Thyunda]

I was talking to a friend of mine (and for the sake of keeping this story as easy to understand as possible, let's call her "M") and discussing over relationship views.
I think it's possible for the whole "Friends With Benefits" to work, but she said that no girl would ever accept that, and said it's stupid and that my understanding of women is completely fucked up!

I was just talking to an old friend ("L" also a girl, I happen to have a lot of female friends) from way back and she completely agreed with me, and even is friends with benefits with some guy, same thing with her best friend. ("A", female, starting to get along really well, wish me luck!)

So my question to you is, do you think the whole friends with benefits thing can work, if both parties agree on the topic?

Very much so - sometimes people use them to get over a harsh breakup without getting themselves into a messy rebound relationship. They're very common around where I live, but everyone here is either in college, just started university or is working, and just settling into living away from their parents...so casual sex is quite common.

 

[PureChaos]

it's all down to the individual. because M wouldn't do it she can't see why others would so believes no one would

 

[Tautimona]

it usually works out well for a while but at least one party involved will want something more than just being a chew toy

 

[hyperhammy]

Do i think it can work when both groups agree? Yes, its not really a matter of opinion. It works, its been happening for a while now. Instead the majority of people who partake don't bring it on to forums.

It's kind of hard to be friends with benefits with someone that doesn't want to be!
Care to ***** around?

 

[Simalacrum]

I hate to sound like an ignorant child... but what exactly is a 'friend with benefits'?

I shall formulate a proper response/opinion once this small confusion has been cleared up :3

edit: people have kindly informed me about what it is without laughing at me! hurraaay!

Anyways, onto my opinion: I personally would rather be 'going out' with a person, rather than just being 'sex buddies', which seems to be what a 'friend with benefits' seems to be. Call me a romanticist, but I'd rather sex meant something more than simple pleasure - it, in my opinion, should be a symbol of two people's love for one another.

However, that is just me - I just think I'd rather love the person I was having sex with, rather than just doing it for the sake of pleasure. If other people, with differing opinions, were to do such things, I wouldn't protest as that's their own choice - so long as they're both consenting, there really is no harm being done (uuunless, of course, proper precautionary measures aren't taken)

So, to sum up: I have nothing against other people doing such things, and it could probably work, but I personally would rather avoid such a relationship.

 

[Ham_authority95]

The "Friends with benefits" thing sounds simple on paper, but rarely is in real life.

It's hard for people raised in a society that glamorizes committed relationships and "true love" to really stay in it just for sex. And that's not counting if the people involved are already in a relationship outside of it. Eventually, a lot of them end with someone saying "screw it, being in a real relationship would make things easier."

I personally don't have a problem with it and congratulate anyone who can make it work...

 

[Droa]

That's how me and my girl got together, started of as FWB but then became a relationship when we decided we would like the emotional level an such together, its been really good .

OP: as long as both parties are willing and happy then its fine, sometimes emotions get in but that's quite normal, sadly it can only come in with one person but at least it can actually save a good friendship being broken, while still having fun. So I would say there is nothing as long as both parties are mature enough, happy and willing.

 

[DazZ.]

Works fine for a while, and as long as you don't do it for too long it won't have any effects on your friendship at all.

Just don't keep with it for about a year then suddenly commit yourself to someone else. Say a month or two per friends with benefits before someone gets into the routine and doesn't want it to end.

But it's different for everyone anyway, so whatever anyone says could be immensely different for yourself.

 

[nosafetynets]

Most definitely. I'm female, and the majority of my relationships with men and other women have been the type of "friends with benefits" relationship you're talking about. Sometimes it develops into more, sometimes it's just that - a friend that you are physically involved with. It all depends on whether or not the people in question equate physical intimacy (read: sex) with emotional intimacy - not everyone does. It can definitely work.

 

[hyperhammy]

I hate to sound like an ignorant child... but what exactly is a 'friend with benefits'?

I shall formulate a proper response/opinion once this small confusion has been cleared up :3

Friend + Sex - Steady Relationship = Friends With Benefits

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

I was talking to a friend of mine (and for the sake of keeping this story as easy to understand as possible, let's call her "M") and discussing over relationship views.
I think it's possible for the whole "Friends With Benefits" to work, but she said that no girl would ever accept that, and said it's stupid and that my understanding of women is completely fucked up!

I was just talking to an old friend ("L" also a girl, I happen to have a lot of female friends) from way back and she completely agreed with me, and even is friends with benefits with some guy, same thing with her best friend. ("A", female, starting to get along really well, wish me luck!)

So my question to you is, do you think the whole friends with benefits thing can work, if both parties agree on the topic?

I am currently in this situation... i think? Well its the gist i got from a very confused last min conversation outside her door. I was going to make this thread to see if people would look down on me because of my actions. Thank you for taking that out of my hands.

I personally think it can work (blatently). We are both adults here, i know what i want, and so does she. I'm not afraid to be honest and im not afraid to be told things i dont want to hear. Im adult enough to accept the potential disaster this could cause and im willing to deal with those repercussions if need be. Shes an epic friend and im happy for what we have, not what i wish i could have, not what it could be.

It can but it usually ends up in a relationship as feelings eventually get involved

I imagine this will happen also.

 

[nosafetynets]

I hate to sound like an ignorant child... but what exactly is a 'friend with benefits'?

I shall formulate a proper response/opinion once this small confusion has been cleared up :3

Essentially, friends who have sex with each other, or are otherwise physically intimate without entering into the whole emotional mess of a relationship. It's a mutual benefit kind of thing.

 

[Jaranja]

I hate to sound like an ignorant child... but what exactly is a 'friend with benefits'?

I shall formulate a proper response/opinion once this small confusion has been cleared up :3

Friend + Sex - Steady Relationship = Friends With Benefits

That's pretty much what a girlfriend would be. Your best friend that you can have sex with.

 

[Madshire]

Do i think it can work when both groups agree? Yes, its not really a matter of opinion. It works, its been happening for a while now. Instead the majority of people who partake don't bring it on to forums.

It's kind of hard to be friends with benefits with someone that doesn't want to be!
Care to ***** around?

The question was, can it work when both parties agree? Not, will it work in your case

 

[Nesutaa]

A lady friend of mine decided to more or less be friends with benefits.

After about a week of that silliness we admitted that we had feelings for each other, and we've been together for about a year and five months

Personally, I think being friends with benefits can only last for so long. Eventually, someone will want more, or someone will want less.