From one night stand into a relationship?

[sanomaton]

As the title suggests I am wondering if this has happened to people and how likely is it to happen?

A weekend back I met someone at a club and it seemed like it was going to be a one night stand. Sure, nothing wrong with that. However, after the whoop-de-doo, we got talking and found out we had a lot in common and actually enjoyed each other's company quite a bit.

Now it's been over a week since we met the first time and we've been keeping in touch quite a bit. Phone calls, text messages and we have even agreed to meet again soon. It puzzles me, however, because I don't know whether this other person is only looking for a sex buddy or someone more serious. (As you don't usually keep any kind of contact with your one night stands.)

Anywhos, the question from me to you is, has something like this ever happened to you or to someone you know? And how did it work out for you if it has?

And just so you know, no, I don't have sex with anyone who comes across and I don't want to be thought of as a slut of some kind... This is just life.


EDIT: It seems like I didn't make my point as clear as I meant to. I like this other person a lot and I would enjoy it very much if this turned into a long-term relationship. The situation being what it is though, I have never entered into a relationship with someone I've had a one night stand with. Hence my question of what do you think of it.

UPDATE: Thanks to all who wished me good luck! Apparently it has worked: as it turns out we're meeting each other on Friday and I'm going to be introduced to some friends/family members. :O

 

[JesterRaiin]

and how likely is it to happen?

(Charisma/10) + your current level - mods = % chance of event happening.
By "mods" i mean "modifications" like environment, mood, clothing, age disproportion, drinks and all that stuff. "Mods" value can't be bigger than 10. Good luck !

 

[Valagetti]

Relationships built or catalyed on sex never last. Trust me I'm really good at sustaining loving relationships and I have no idea what I'm saying.

 

[Tselis]

Well, my room mate introduced me to the man she who's pants she was trying to get into. She was quite interested in the opposite sex. Anyway. It transpired that about a week later he ended up in our room, and she went out. One thing led to another and we did the deed. That was in'98, and we were married in 2000. It is possible to do things completely backwards and utterly wrong and still end up with something awesome. It is alot like winning that 64 million dollar lottery though.

 

[Xifel]

I think it's is a cultural thing.

In my homecountry it is more or less considered weird to start dating someone you haven't had (drunken monkey) sex with. That's is how relationship usually starts.

I never had a serious relationship, just a few months here and there. But life is to short to pass up.

My advise is "Do what ever makes you happy and feel right". If you enjoy eachothers company, even for the briefest moment, then go for it. Who care what happends tomorrow or what the big plan is. You have anything better to do (no pun intended)

 

[trollnystan]

Ahh, see. That only happened because the guy was not properly educated in the correct etiquette of one night stands.
If you are still there when the girl wakes up then you have failed.
You are meant to come and go, as it were.

I could not even fathom sticking with someone who does one night stands. I mean, eww. They would not be the type of person you would want to waste time getting serious with.

Closest I have ever come is banging a co worker.
And that went bad, very, very, very bad.

Wait let me get this straight; starting a long-term relationship with someone you had a one-night stand with is stupid because they are the type of person who has one-night stands... Doesn't that mean that you're a bad bet too because you are also the type to have one-night stands?

That kind of logic never made sense to me. Maybe you can explain it to me? *honestly confused*

 

[sanomaton]

Wait let me get this straight; starting a long-term relationship with someone you had a one-night stand with is stupid because they are the type of person who has one-night stands... Doesn't that mean that you're a bad bet too because you are also the type to have one-night stands?

That kind of logic never made sense to me. Maybe you can explain it to me? *honestly confused*

I have been thinking about this exact same thing. It doesn't always necessarily mean you have one night stands with every single person you see and find attractive, you may not even do that often either. But will the other person see it like that because you had a one night stand with them?

Sex is an important part of a relationship but not the most important part (at least to me). It's difficult to see where things will go, especially after such an event as a one night stand but whatever happens happens...

I am speaking to you as someone who has essentially had a one night stand that lasted 15 years. We've had ups and downs, as any couple will, but I would not take those years back and still look forward to growing old(er) with this person.

Having said that, I dont think it's very likely or necessarily a good thing to expect to happen but if it is already happening, why not see were it goes?

Would be a shame for you to miss your soul mate because you have some crazy hang-up about one night stands and the people that do them.

Food for thought- sex is just a bodily function.
You can have sex with someone and not be in love with them.
You can love someone and not have sex with them.
Maybe not everyone can seperate love and sex but it can make things easier than letting your heart get tangled up with your genitals and following the resulting hot mess blindly.

Inspiring message, thank you.

Relationships built or catalyed on sex never last. Trust me I'm really good at sustaining loving relationships and I have no idea what I'm saying.

I know this to be a fact as I've lived through a relationship like that, however, it doesn't always have to be so. I'm talking about a one night stands here, sex doesn't have to "ruin" the possibility of a long-term relationship. It's just one part of nature.

 

[sanomaton]

PS. I believe we were discussing a hypothetical hypocrit who engages in one night stands yet looks down on anyone else that has them as someone that could never be faithful or disease free, EVER. All they would have to do is look in a mirror to see that same person.

Not necessarily directed anyone posting here, we simply dont know you well enough to be making that judgement.

Point taken and I see what you mean by your post. Just for clarification, though, I don't look down on people who have one nights stands, I see it only natural and a part of nature. If two persons feel the urge to engage in sex wihtout feelings, then go for it! I know I do.

My question regards more your views upon this kind of situation, entering a relationship with someone you had sex with before knowing more about them. As in does sex ruin the possibility of a good relationship?

 

[Cowabungaa]

Well if you like her, keep in contact with her, ask her out properly, that sort of thing. Let go of what happened before, and if you both enjoyed yourself it can only be a plus I guess. I mean, at least you know you're sexually compatible. If you're now finding out you have compatible personalities; good for you.

Food for thought- sex is just a bodily function.
You can have sex with someone and not be in love with them.
You can love someone and not have sex with them.
Maybe not everyone can seperate love and sex but it can make things easier than letting your heart get tangled up with your genitals and following the resulting hot mess blindly.

Sounds very inspirational, but it ain't so clear-cut, with the whole hormone spiel and all. Love too, is technically just a bodily function.

 

[Dogstile]

Ahh, see. That only happened because the guy was not properly educated in the correct etiquette of one night stands.
If you are still there when the girl wakes up then you have failed.
You are meant to come and go, as it were.

I could not even fathom sticking with someone who does one night stands. I mean, eww. They would not be the type of person you would want to waste time getting serious with.

I never understood this. Sexually active means they aren't a legitimate partner? Why not? Some of my best relationships have been with people who were pretty damn active.

OP:

Well, if you like her, why not stick it out and see where it goes? Again, i've had a one night stand turn into a two year on off relationship. Its been quite a ride and i'd do it again any day in an instant if I had the choice.

Not saying it'll be the same for you, but not doing it = nothing lost, nothing gained. You only have gains to make by pursuing it.

 

[Distorted Stu]

Do it, i got one of the happiest relationships in my life outta a one night stand! Lasted years!

 

[Rawne1980]

I've never got into a relationship with a one night stand .... and i've had many.

As an ex soldier the relationship thing was a bit out of the question at the time so I liked to "spread the love" as it were.

I have met women who I slept with more than once sort of a 2 night stand but not relationship wise.

The woman i'm now married to I was originally trying to pull for a one nighter but she wasn't going for that. She made me wait a couple of days.

I don't think it really matter how you get into a relationship as long as you both like each other. If it feels alright to you go for gold.

 

[sanomaton]

Ahh, see. That only happened because the guy was not properly educated in the correct etiquette of one night stands.
If you are still there when the girl wakes up then you have failed.
You are meant to come and go, as it were.

I could not even fathom sticking with someone who does one night stands. I mean, eww. They would not be the type of person you would want to waste time getting serious with.

I never understood this. Sexually active means they aren't a legitimate partner? Why not? Some of my best relationships have been with people who were pretty damn active.

OP:

Well, if you like her, why not stick it out and see where it goes? Again, i've had a one night stand turn into a two year on off relationship. Its been quite a ride and i'd do it again any day in an instant if I had the choice.

Not saying it'll be the same for you, but not doing it = nothing lost, nothing gained. You only have gains to make by pursuing it.

This is what I'm planning to do, however, the comment you quoted pretty much summarises my concerns. We both agreed to having a one night stand (not agreed, but ya know how it goes...) and it makes me wonder if this person in my situation thinks something like that of me.

I find it ridiculous to deprive myself from sex with someone I enjoy being with but there are a lot of people who find that irresponsible OR as if that makes me more prone to cheating on them, which I don't do and why the hell would I. That WOULD be irresponsible and just plain mean.