Girl trouble...

[Assassin Xaero]

I hate these threads about as much as everyone else, but I figure I could really use some advice on this one. There is some girl I've known for a few years, and I think I've fallen in love with her, but there are some huge problems, so to explain it...

First she had no problem with me, until one morning when I tried to make her feel better at school and sent her a text message saying she looked cute today. Her friend took her phone and bitched me out over it, and since then things have gone down hill.

About 6 months ago, I had thought we were on good terms with each other, and I needed a new job. She told me where she worked, said it wasn't that bad, that she didn't care if I got a job there, and even told me how to get a job there (who to call, etc.), so I did. About a month into it, I found out she then went around and started to tell everyone I was stalking her, when she had told me how to get the job in the first place.

Since then she has said she wanted to be on decent terms, then still pulled the same shit again. This time getting mad and yelling at anyone there that even talked to me. I found out maybe a month ago that she even went to hang out with a mutual friend we had and interrogated them for information about every conversation I had with them and what I said.

After all that, and even after she treats me like shit, I still like her, but I dunno what to do. I am looking for a new job (mostly unrelated reasons, actually), but dunno if I should just say "fuck it" and ignore her/try to move on or what. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Your obsession with her, even after the events described, lead me to believe that there may be some truth to her stalker claims.

She wants nothing to do with you. Leave her alone.

 

[IndianaJonny]

Finding work somewhere else seems prudent. Just ensure it's clear you left on your own terms into another job elsewhere and you were not pushed as a result of her complaining. A little distance between you and this, from what your telling us, cute little headcase might be a good idea- just ask yourself "Does it look like things will get better/worse if I continue to stay here?".

 

[ServebotFrank]

Ignore her she's being a *****. A hypocritical ***** at that. Just leave her alone and try to dis-spell any rumors that you're stalking her. Someone's friend did this same stunt on me and I let her know I was not happy. More that I was closer to hitting a girl then ever before on that day is what made me drop the affair with her.

 

[SwiftBlade18]

First off your not in love with her - trust me....u just like her..a lot.

Second...if she thinks thats stalking on your part...well your a rubbish stalker - I mean jeez you said she was cute and when talking about needing a job she basically suggested where she works.

My conclusion to this is she is the stalker (asking for every detail of your conversations with others) and a crazy one at that. She either likes you and doesnt know how to deal with it or should be admitted to a psychiatric ward

 

[Assassin Xaero]

Thanks everyone. I've told most everyone there the whole situation with her telling me how to get the job there then calling me a stalker, and everyone either didn't care or believed me over her.

Finding work somewhere else seems prudent. Just ensure it's clear you left on your own terms into another job elsewhere and you were not pushed as a result of her complaining.

We work at McDonalds, and it actually isn't that bad compared to other places I've worked. The few main reasons I'm looking for a job are that I'm 20 and still live with my mom (plus getting kicked out when I'm 21), but I'm not making enough there to move out on my own. And this summer (hopefully) I'm graduating college with my Computer Science degree and it's time to find a real job.

 

[drisky]

You seem to be having some dependency issues. Stop talking to her completely, you'll have to get over what ever feelings you have for her because its not healthy. For whatever reason, once someone accuses you of being a stalker, there is zero trust between you for ever being in a relationship. You've described nothing but negativity between you just need to leave that obsession behind.

 

[SilentCom]

Sounds a bit dangerous to enter a relationship with her after what has happened. It would likely be unstable at best.

 

[Adam Galli]

I wouldn't try to start a relationship with her. With as many problems as there are now its only gonna get worse later on.

 

[LetalisK]

Run as far away from her as possible. She's definitely not worth the drama since there seems to be no up-side to being around her.

 

[Death Prophet]

Ok so heres my 2 cents, either you have a subconscious obsessive compulsion towards her (i.e. Stalking) and you are unaware of it. I would check with mutual friends to find out if the see it in you. OR shes like 95% of th ewomen I've dealt with in my life and shes batshit crazy, and has an obsession with attention and is using you to fulfill that need. I would wager on the latter of the two. Time to move on. When life gives you lemons, just say fuck the lemons and bail.

 

[Hop-along Nussbaum]

Move on with your life. No further explanation is necessary. That is all.

 

[ddrfr33k]

When life gives you lemons, just say fuck the lemons and bail.

No, you wing 'em back and add some lemons of your own!

OP, I'm gonna agree with the other posters here and say run from this one like the plague. She's not worth the time/effort.

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

dunno if I should just say "fuck it" and ignore her/try to move on or what. Any advice would be appreciated.

That's exactly what you should do. If she really has no interest in you, it's best to move on. And if she really does have an interest in you, ignoring her will drive her CRAZY. Seriously, there's no better way to get a girl to fixate on you than to have a "sure, you're cute, but I'm a bit out of your league" attitude.

 

[Assassin Xaero]

I think if I find a new job, or at least switch to overnights, it will be easier, too. There is just something about her, not sure what it is. She kinda reminded me of an old friend that I never talk to anymore, which is probably why I like her.

 

[Death Prophet]

I think if I find a new job, or at least switch to overnights, it will be easier, too. There is just something about her, not sure what it is. She kinda reminded me of an old friend that I never talk to anymore, which is probably why I like her.

Mate dwelling on her won't make yourself feel better. Everyone can say get over it and believe they could at the drop of a hat. But its going to take time, and you will have to deal with it in some form or another. You main goal is to occupy your mind, immerse yourself into something that requires your main line of thought, it will pass the time and memories will fade to black. Time heals most.

 

[Assassin Xaero]

Yeah, and it should be a lot easier now to get over her. Thanks again everyone.

 

[zombiesinc]

I think if I find a new job, or at least switch to overnights, it will be easier, too. There is just something about her, not sure what it is. She kinda reminded me of an old friend that I never talk to anymore, which is probably why I like her.

From what you've decided to mention within your OP, regardless of how you feel towards her, I'd strongly suggest forcing yourself to move on. Getting a new job (and switching to nightshift in the meantime) would be a great start. The less you're around someone like that, the easier it is to force them out of your mind. It may seem difficult to properly move on in the beginning, but, as it's often said, it'll get easier over time.

You can't choose who you're attracted to or who you fall for, but when someone treats you in such a negative manner you can choose to remove them from your immediate surroundings. The sooner you force her out of your mind, the easier it'll be to avoid dwelling on how you feel about her or the situation itself. Best of luck.