Greatest Quotes Ever
- Thread starter PurpleRain
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"How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? All except for 1. that 1 guy is usually the guy with the big stick and the gumption to use it." -me
"So your girlfriend's a cow?" Caboose
"did you just call my girl a cow?" Church
"No, he called her a slut." Tucker
"We should connect a hard line into her..." tex
"*panting* Bow chicka bow wow" tucker
"how did you hear that?" tex
"I know when I'm needed" tucker
"So your girlfriend's a cow?" Caboose
"did you just call my girl a cow?" Church
"No, he called her a slut." Tucker
"We should connect a hard line into her..." tex
"*panting* Bow chicka bow wow" tucker
"how did you hear that?" tex
"I know when I'm needed" tucker
It's
Caboose: I'm not going to get married. My dad always says, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
Church: Did you just call my girlfriend a cow?
Tucker: I think he called her a slut.
And also...
"So wake up, Dr. Freeman. Wake up and... smell the ashes."
"No, see, with sanity you only get one side of the coin. Insanity nets you all four."
Caboose: I'm not going to get married. My dad always says, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
Church: Did you just call my girlfriend a cow?
Tucker: I think he called her a slut.
And also...
"So wake up, Dr. Freeman. Wake up and... smell the ashes."
"No, see, with sanity you only get one side of the coin. Insanity nets you all four."
Only when you have burned the last crop and killed the last buffalo. You will realise that money cannot be eaten.
some American Indian chieftain. And I'm probably paraphrasing
some American Indian chieftain. And I'm probably paraphrasing
All of my contributions here are last words as I have a book on them at the moment.
"Get the fucking nuns away from me!"
Last words of Norman Douglas - British Author
"Bugger Bognor."
Last words of King George V of Great Britain
(he said this after his doctor had come up with the idea that he should go and relax in Bognor Regis, an English seaside town.)
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."
Some of the last - but not final - words of General John Sedgwick, Union Commander in the U.S. Civil War. He was shot by a sniper a few minutes afterwards, at the battle of Spotsylvania on May 9 1864.
And finally, an anonymous one:
"Dying can't be that bad of a thing; I mean, everybody's doing it."
"Get the fucking nuns away from me!"
Last words of Norman Douglas - British Author
"Bugger Bognor."
Last words of King George V of Great Britain
(he said this after his doctor had come up with the idea that he should go and relax in Bognor Regis, an English seaside town.)
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."
Some of the last - but not final - words of General John Sedgwick, Union Commander in the U.S. Civil War. He was shot by a sniper a few minutes afterwards, at the battle of Spotsylvania on May 9 1864.
And finally, an anonymous one:
"Dying can't be that bad of a thing; I mean, everybody's doing it."
"Either this wallpaper goes, or I do."-Oscar Wilde's last words. Dry wit to the end.
"Either someone's dying, or it's my birthday."-The last words of a female author whose name escapes me, after waking and seeing her family around her bedside.
"Either someone's dying, or it's my birthday."-The last words of a female author whose name escapes me, after waking and seeing her family around her bedside.
thebobmaster,
That last one of yours is attributed to Lady Nancy Astor - who was also found herself at the sharp end of Winston Churchill's famous wit. Twice (See earlier in thread).
Also the Oscar Wilde one has variations:
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go."
and
"These curtains are killing me, one of us has got to go."
I like this one by Frederick Charles Wood, a convicted murderer electrocuted in 1951 in New York:
"Gents, this is an educational project. You are about to witness the damaging effect electricity has on Wood"
This book's pretty good, albeit in a morbid kind of way.
That last one of yours is attributed to Lady Nancy Astor - who was also found herself at the sharp end of Winston Churchill's famous wit. Twice (See earlier in thread).
Also the Oscar Wilde one has variations:
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go."
and
"These curtains are killing me, one of us has got to go."
I like this one by Frederick Charles Wood, a convicted murderer electrocuted in 1951 in New York:
"Gents, this is an educational project. You are about to witness the damaging effect electricity has on Wood"
This book's pretty good, albeit in a morbid kind of way.
OK last one before I clock out:
"I wish I was skiing." [Nurse: "Oh, Mr. Laurel, do you ski?"] "No, but I'd rather be skiing than doing what I'm doing."
Stan Laurel (of Laurel and Hardy fame for those who didn't know his christian name), before dying of a heart attack.
I'm done now, much as I want to I won't retype the entire book for you.
"I wish I was skiing." [Nurse: "Oh, Mr. Laurel, do you ski?"] "No, but I'd rather be skiing than doing what I'm doing."
Stan Laurel (of Laurel and Hardy fame for those who didn't know his christian name), before dying of a heart attack.
I'm done now, much as I want to I won't retype the entire book for you.
As well, I'd like to quote all of Meredith Wilson's The Music Man.
Ganondorf: The guy with the black hat and a gimp.
J. Hooker: He's not a tough as he thinks.
Ganondorf: Neither are we, kid.
-The Sting
Ganondorf: The guy with the black hat and a gimp.
J. Hooker: He's not a tough as he thinks.
Ganondorf: Neither are we, kid.
-The Sting
"'If we're wrong, then we're wrong, and that's another spice of life', is what I'd like to advocate."
~Graham Specter (Baccano)
"If this flower had no name it would still be just as sweet."
~Juliet (Romeo x Juliet [It's a cheesy rip off of Shakespeare's play.])
~Graham Specter (Baccano)
"If this flower had no name it would still be just as sweet."
~Juliet (Romeo x Juliet [It's a cheesy rip off of Shakespeare's play.])
"***** dependancy is no laughing matter" A Pimp Named Slick Back
"I didnt lose I just let u win" Mandy
"You say potato I say tomato" Me
"I didnt lose I just let u win" Mandy
"You say potato I say tomato" Me
Guy: How do I know you're not from CONTROL?
Max: If I was from CONTROL, you'd already be dead.
Guy: If you were from CONTROL, You'd already be dead.
Max: Neither of us is dead, so I'm obviously not from CONTROL.
...
...
Other Guy: That actually makes sense.
-Get Smart
Max: If I was from CONTROL, you'd already be dead.
Guy: If you were from CONTROL, You'd already be dead.
Max: Neither of us is dead, so I'm obviously not from CONTROL.
...
...
Other Guy: That actually makes sense.
-Get Smart
"I like the way you think, but please stop thinking it's not your thing."
-Matt Wilson (bonus stage)
-Matt Wilson (bonus stage)
oh I have another one
"why do we kill people, who kill people, to teach people that killing is wrong"
-a girl at my school
"why do we kill people, who kill people, to teach people that killing is wrong"
-a girl at my school