Groin Attacks Are Not Funny

[tkioz]

Okay so groin attacks in fiction are funny, but girls seriously in real life if the dude isn't attacking you you don't get to hit a guy there, it's just not cricket.

The reason this came about is my nieces and my sister in law came to town for a visit this week and crashed at my place, my nice little cute nieces who have somehow been taught that striking a man in the place of pain is funny.

Any guy who has ever been struck there can tell you even a tap is painful, a full on blow shuts down your brain for a good 5-10 seconds while you working out wtf is going on and then the pain hits. In serious cases you start to taste blood afterwards.

I once sat in on a self defence class that my sisters were taking, the women teaching the class went over different means of disabling an attacker, usually with the common warning that I know well about not using this on people useless it's for real... notable exception? the strikes to the testicles. It's like they thinking punch a dude there is acceptable for being a jerk.

Do women seriously not know how much this freaking hurts?

 

[Knight of Cydonia]

I know what you mean.

My last experience with a kick in the balls didn't end well.

 

[CK76]

Agreed

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0EJm_AQ_VQ

I love those funny video shows
I just can't get enough
A cavalcade of concussions
Boy that's funny stuff

They're tripping in Poughkeepsie
They're slipping in Des Moines
But the ones that win ten thousand bucks
Are all trauma to the groin

A trauma to the groin, boy, is trauma to the groin
Nothing's quite as funny
As a trauma to the groin
There is no wit more pretty
There is no joke divine
Or limerick delicious as
A trauma to the groin

Now Jacob was a small boy
In a Tee Ball league
And his father stood behind him
Coaching to succeed
The boy he swung with all his might
You should have seen Dad's face
When the bat connected
Between first and second base

Oh, a trauma to the groin, boy, is trauma to the groin
Nothing's quite as funny
As a trauma to the groin
There is no wit more pretty
There is no joke divine
Or limerick delicious as
A trauma to the groin

We wanted to collect the check
From those video fools
So we taught our three year old
The running headbutt to the jewels
Too bad we left the lens cap on the camera by mistake
'Cause grandpa weren't too happy
About the second take

Oh, a trauma to the groin, boy, is trauma to the groin
Nothing's quite as funny
As a trauma to the groin
There is no wit more pretty
There is no joke divine
Or limerick delicious as
A trauma to the groin

One day while in the garden, I stepped upon a rake
The blow intense and accurate
An impression it did make
My children caught it all on tape
Thought it was the funniest thing
And I choked a curse out through my tears
As they began to sing

Oh, a trauma to the groin, boy, is trauma to the groin
Nothing's quite as funny
As a trauma to the groin
There is no wit more pretty
There is no joke divine
Or limerick delicious as
A trauma to the groin

Well, I won the money
Though I fail to see the joke
Hey, each to his own, I guess
And most of the dough, well don't you know
Paid the bill to the EMS
So let us see a show of hands
And let it be resolved
That a trauma's much more funny
If your own groin's not involved

Oh, a trauma to the groin, boy, is trauma to the boys
Nothing's quite as funny
As a trauma to the groin
There is no wit more pretty
There is no joke divine
Or limerick delicious as
A trauma to the groin

 

[alxhrmn]

On the contrary - groin attacks are fucking hilarious when they're not happening to me.

 

[NLS]

Yeah, it's probably not good for the health either :\

 

[pope_of_larry]

i dont find them funny even if there not happing to me. there all kids in my school how will run around "sac tapping" just about anyone they see.

 

[oreopizza47]

it's really sad when it happens often enough that you can just shake off the pain and walk away. i miss the idea of having future children.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

Groin attacks aren't funny?
I'd say no attacks are funny if they are in any way serious or dangerous.
Feth groin attacks, they're just part of a larger picture of stupidity.

 

[MrNickster]

If I get into a fight, I don't attack the balls-You shouldn't have to. I block kicks to the crotch (They're pretty simple to block) and don;t go for that area.

And I have taken a hit cricket ball to the gonads without a cup. I couldn't walk right for 20 minutes and needed an embarassingly placed ice pack for about 45. Even then it hurt a lot.

 

[Legion]

The Simpsons would disagree with you:
On a more serious note, yes it's pretty damn evil to hit them unless it's in self defence, but fortunately it's never happened to me intentionally for whatever reason.

 

[The Maddest March Hare]

I always tell girls who laugh at a kick in the nuts that if that's how they feel about immense groinal pain, guys are now allowed to laugh at girls screaming when giving birth. And they can then poke fun at them about it for a day or so later.

And at least a woman can't give birth all day, every day, 7 days a week, whereas a kick to the nuts can happen over..and over..and over...

 

[Yumi_and_Erea]

Groin attacks aren't funny.

Accidental testicular smashing, on the other hand, is hilarious.

Even if it does leave permanent marks...

 

[DeadlyYellow]

Agreed

There you go. Had the same idea. Love Heywood Banks.

 

[Valksy]

I read a recent news article (that I can't find to cite, mainly because I don't want to look it up on google) about how attacks to the groin carried out by guys on guys are becoming fashionable and are ending up on Youtube. That a bloke can be maimed for life doesn't register.

When it comes to self defence then I would absolutely aim low each and every time and consider a lesson to the perpetrator (don't attack me/mug me etc, I won't try to stamp your crotch into the pavement).


Ah wait, here we go, I remember that the idiots doing it gave it a name: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/sack-tapping-boys-punch-testicles-game/story?id=10762563

The answer is - stop thinking that it is bullying or a stupid things and think of it as an assault and PROSECUTE the little bastards doing it and so what if it ruins their life.

 

[cuddly_tomato]

Sometimes the slapstick element can be funny though, when it isn't intentional.

 

[GodsAndFishes]

A simple test has shown that being kicked in the balls is actually more painful than giving birth.
Kick a man in the balls and ask him if he would like to be kicked there again and he will say no, but ask a woman after giving birth if she'll do it again and often she will. Thereforce logically being kicked in the balls is more painful.

Its fun not to look at the whole picture.

 

[rokkolpo]

many women i've encountered think a hit in the clitoris hurts as much as in the balls.

i dont know for sure, but i've never seena girl puke and scream in agony by being kicked in the privates.

 

[itsnotyouitsme]

My friend gave me a love tap the other day and it hurt like hell. I don't see a guy getting kicked in the balls being funny, i think "Ouch!"

 

[Aloran]

Groin attacks aren't funny.

Accidental testicular smashing, on the other hand, is hilarious.

Even if it does leave permanent marks...

Considering I just got back from hospital after having testicular torsion...I can say that it is not hillarious.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testicular_torsion

One of the most painful things of my life so far. Thankfully both of them are still attached. Got into surgery quickly enough.

OT: sometimes they are funny, but more often than not they're really not.

However we don't have to bleed once a month...so...hmm.