Has anyone completely destroyed your trust?

[TheAceTheOne]

Yep. Title says it all. Anyone ever betray you so bad that you worry you'll be betrayed by someone else who has given you no reason to think that way?

(If that doesn't make sense, this story should add some background)

A few years back, a girl cheated on me with two guys at once. She then told me about it. I have trouble trusting my current girlfriend even though she hasn't done anything to earn any distrust. I try hard not to worry, but sometimes, the worry creeps back in and I get afraid that she'll hurt me too.

Basically, what I'm asking is: Have you felt like this? Did you do anything about it? Any words for someone who's feeling it?

 

[dickywebster]

Walked in on my gf shagging another guy like an hour after we had done it in the same bed, but then i only caught them at it cause i was dropping something off, havent spoken to her since we broke up very shortly after

 

[Blow_Pop]

I neither trust people I date or people I call my friends. I've had enough friends screw my boyfriends/girlfriends behind my back that I can't trust them. I have two people I absolutely trust no questions asked. One is gay and I've known him my whole life. If I didnae trust him by now....we'd have issues. The other isnae into the same kinds of guys I'm into, nor are they into her.

And I've been betrayed numerous times by a bunch of my "female friends" so I have a hard time letting people get close to me. Or liking/trusting girls.


I pushed everyone away and don't let people get too close to me. I just call it destroying my trust.

 

[emeraldrafael]

It wasnt that he gave me no raeson to think of him that way, I just didnt think he would turn that way. Should have saw the signs of it happening, but eh. Now we're pretty much enemies for life.

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

Someone went behind my back to my friends and tried to kick me out of my own band...fortunately I'm also a snake.

 

[genericusername64]

I had a friend a few years ago, I won't go into specifics but I told him a secret a week later being the attention whore that he is, he told the whole school, I got the shit kicked out of me everyday for the rest of that year. Needless to say I'm a lot more careful around people now. And as far as "how do I get over it" short answer is it you never get over it, you live with it.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

I neither trust people I date or people I call my friends. I've had enough friends screw my boyfriends/girlfriends behind my back that I can't trust them. I have two people I absolutely trust no questions asked. One is gay and I've known him my whole life. If I didnae trust him by now....we'd have issues. The other isnae into the same kinds of guys I'm into, nor are they into her.

And I've been betrayed numerous times by a bunch of my "female friends" so I have a hard time letting people get close to me. Or liking/trusting girls.


I pushed everyone away and don't let people get too close to me. I just call it destroying my trust.

You Scottish, perchance?


On topic: I don't give out my trust easily, and I've thankfully never regretted investing my trust in people because of it. There's plenty of people who I'll gladly never talk to again or, say, walk past whistling while they're on fire, but I've never given them my full trust and have never taken back my trust after giving it. Guess I'm lucky that way.

 

[Elo125]

Yeah, my ex ruined my trust completely. I'm not going into details, but suffice it to say that she accused me of cheating on her for 3 whole years to cover up the fact that she was hiding things from me. She wasn't exactly cheating on me, but she had some major secrets that she really should have told me. Despite that it took me 5 and a half years of us being on-and-off until I finally reached a point where I told my feelings to go fuck themselves and broke up with her just so I could stand to live. Best choice I ever made. I still love her and miss her a lot, but at least I don't have to be constantly controlled and have my self-esteem crushed into pieces anymore. Yay for freedom!

 

[gallaetha_matt]

Oh boy... yep. I really have.

To cut a long story into a pithy, two paragraph affair: it all started with a girl cheating on me for half the time we were together. Multiple dudes - and no she didn't use contraception, she was too desperate to have a baby for that. When one of them did finally get her pregnant, she did the classy thing and confessed to all that unprotected sex and then told me that she had AIDs. I got a completely unnessecary AIDs test (I'd only been with a few girls before this one and I always use condoms, I can actually claim to have the cleanest sperm in the world) and had to go through all the humiliation and horror of waiting for the results.

When I told her that the results had come back and I was clean, she laughed and said that she couldn't believe that I'd fallen for the AIDs thing, and by the way she was pregnant.

Last contact I had with her she called me up on Valentine's Day a few years to brag about how her new boyfriend was spoiling her. Say one thing about this chick, she was thorough. Apparently I wasn't the only guy to get this kind of treatment. She also stole her best friend's boyfriend then went on to cheat on him.

That was over five years ago though. I did more than dodge a bullet here. I caught the bullet with my bare hands and threw it with lethal force into the chest of my enemy. I'm so glad I didn't get drawn into her endless cyclone of drama. Every time I tell that story I feel a little better about being single.

 

[Sarmos]

I try to look at everything as a "test of trust" rather then ruining it... But then, I'd be calling myself a hypocrite. I dated a gal for more then three years, one of her best "guy friends" tells her I'm cheating on her. (Which I wasnt) So she starts cheating on me. After about 3 months of that, I decided it was enough. Apparently she dropped out of universisty, (from a 4.0 grad avrg). Yeah, it butchared my trust in people. and hell I got about 16 other stories not too different.

The twisted part? I still miss the dam girl.
But, at the same time, while I find it harder to trust people, the only way I'm ever going to trust ANYONE is to just let it go. I cant control what people do. I just have to trust that people will do the right thing and use some common sense.

 

[Rawne1980]

Nope.

I have 5 friends and we've grown up together, quite literally, we all lived on the same street and have known each other since we were 3.

We joined the army together, all went to 2 Para, and trusted each other with our lives.

I trust my missus.

Never had any reason to distrust anyone else as I haven't trusted them with anything worth breaking a trust with.

 

[Blow_Pop]

I neither trust people I date or people I call my friends. I've had enough friends screw my boyfriends/girlfriends behind my back that I can't trust them. I have two people I absolutely trust no questions asked. One is gay and I've known him my whole life. If I didnae trust him by now....we'd have issues. The other isnae into the same kinds of guys I'm into, nor are they into her.

And I've been betrayed numerous times by a bunch of my "female friends" so I have a hard time letting people get close to me. Or liking/trusting girls.


I pushed everyone away and don't let people get too close to me. I just call it destroying my trust.

You Scottish, perchance?

Actually no. Just the person I tend to talk to the most happens to be Scottish and I pick up accents, dialects, and spelling rather quickly. I'm actually American and hopefully will be moving to the UK soon enough. All depends on how quickly I can get a work visa and job over there.

 

[Browncoat86]

Someone went behind my back to my friends and tried to kick me out of my own band...fortunately I'm also a snake.

The name of your band wouldn't be "Rod Torkelson's Armada Featuring Herman Menderchuck" would it?

On topic. My now ex-wife. I was spending an insane amount of time at work about a year after we were married. Instead of trusting that I was actually at work or talking to me about it, she just assumed I was cheating on her and then went and hooked up with her ex. That was two years ago, I still won't talk to her on the phone, and I refuse to be in the same room or building with her.

 

[sms_117b]

I have ad my trust broken a fair few times, not so much as to be left in absolute taters on the floor, been cheated on by one ex (more than once, god I was forgiving) and my recent ex went out with her ex until like 2am and didn't speak to me for a day, nothin goin on there....

But it's a two sided affair, when I was younger I did a few things to lose trust, not proud of them, my grand-dads face and the look of complete and utter dissapointment haunt me to this day.

 

[Jakub324]

All my life, I've stuck up for my friend. I was there for him when he was bullied, I helped him to be popular, then BANG! After almost a decade of friendship, he turns into a complete dickfist. He stole my credit card and £450, insults my other friends so much we completely cut him off, turns to drugs and now he's a stoner.
What a knob.

 

[Mandalore_15]

I neither trust people I date or people I call my friends. I've had enough friends screw my boyfriends/girlfriends behind my back that I can't trust them. I have two people I absolutely trust no questions asked. One is gay and I've known him my whole life. If I didnae trust him by now....we'd have issues. The other isnae into the same kinds of guys I'm into, nor are they into her.

And I've been betrayed numerous times by a bunch of my "female friends" so I have a hard time letting people get close to me. Or liking/trusting girls.


I pushed everyone away and don't let people get too close to me. I just call it destroying my trust.

I notice you're from California... why do you type in Scottishisms? Just curious.

Seriously though, it must be hard for you to go through life only trusting 2 people. I don't know how bad your experiences have been but perhaps it's time to slowly come out of that shell?

Yep. Title says it all. Anyone ever betray you so bad that you worry you'll be betrayed by someone else who has given you no reason to think that way?

(If that doesn't make sense, this story should add some background)

A few years back, a girl cheated on me with two guys at once. She then told me about it. I have trouble trusting my current girlfriend even though she hasn't done anything to earn any distrust. I try hard not to worry, but sometimes, the worry creeps back in and I get afraid that she'll hurt me too.

Basically, what I'm asking is: Have you felt like this? Did you do anything about it? Any words for someone who's feeling it?

OT: I've had experiences in the past that left me less trusting of people in general, but I've since grown out of it. I think for most people it's a phase and you soon learn that it's not logical to generalise to that degree. That's not to say it's easy to earn my trust or anything. I think I'm a pretty good judge of character and I don't reveal much of my personal life to people unless I know them pretty well and decide they're trustworthy.

There have been quite a few experiences of me getting fucked over for trusting people in the past. One time in my first year of university, I was living in halls of residence and suffering from severe depression. I told a girl I lived with all about it as I needed to get it off my chest, and gave particular details about a girl I was infatuated with at the time but didn't feel the same about me. Well, she told everyone in the building and apparently laughed behind my back at how "pathetic" I was. Also, when I told her I had a mental illness, she just laughed at me and told me to "buck the fuck up".

Some people are cunts, it's unavoidable. Experiences like that have maybe hardened me against trusting people to quickly, but they haven't steeled me completely.

 

[Spygon]

Yes a few times actually weirdly enough my now ex girlfriend did something two days ago that has totally destoryed my trust.Seems everytime i trust someone i get hurt and people wonder why i dont open up easily.

 

[FrostyChick]

I neither trust people I date or people I call my friends. I've had enough friends screw my boyfriends/girlfriends behind my back that I can't trust them. I have two people I absolutely trust no questions asked. One is gay and I've known him my whole life. If I didnae trust him by now....we'd have issues. The other isnae into the same kinds of guys I'm into, nor are they into her.

And I've been betrayed numerous times by a bunch of my "female friends" so I have a hard time letting people get close to me. Or liking/trusting girls.


I pushed everyone away and don't let people get too close to me. I just call it destroying my trust.

Same here, except minus the getting cheated on. As I very rarely let people in close enough to date. And when I do, it generally ends rather quickly as I never let my guard down, not even to a partner.


OT: The most recent person I let into my life cheated on me and lied to me. That ended pretty quickly. And I never want to hear from her again.

I recently found out my father has resented me from birth. The only reason he hid this from me because he was legally obliged to at least make an attempt at raising me (it was obvious enough for me to pick up on). Now I'm over 18 he doesn't give a damn. And has pretty much cut all ties.

My step-father absolutely hated me and my brother. I'm NOT going to go into detail on what happened there.

My next step-father, while he actually got on alright with me, was the most pathetic piece of shit I have ever met. He was the most lazy, excuse-mongering mammas boy I have ever met. I'm glad he's gone.

Given the role models I've had thus far, you can hardly blame me for having a low opinion of men and massive trust issues.

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

The name of your band wouldn't be "Rod Torkelson's Armada Featuring Herman Menderchuck" would it?

Ha, Kids in the Hall reference

 

[TheAceTheOne]

Yes a few times actually weirdly enough my now ex girlfriend did something two days ago that has totally destoryed my trust.Seems everytime i trust someone i get hurt and people wonder why i dont open up easily.

Yup... I know that feeling.

I just realized I have this set up on a different thread too.

MODS: Please delete the thread I posted "Trust?" if you can. My internet mucked up when I posted this and I didn't realize it went through, so I posted it again under a different name. My apologies.