Has your goodwill ever been taken advantage of?

[Jeronus]

I'd just like to preface this thread by saying that not all people who beg are greedy or evil. There are people out there who have very good reasons to ask strangers for money. The following story is about another type of beggar that I encountered who made me think twice about giving money to those in need.

So I walk into my local Subway and as I approach the counter, a rather disheveled "gentleman" steps in between me and my destination demanding financial aid for the procurement of a Meatball Sub. I was rather put off by his impatient manner but not so much that I didn't feel it was going out of my way to help the poor chap. I reach into my wallet and pull out my last bill which just so happens to equate to one dollar in US currency. I hand the meager offering over to the vagabond in the hopes that it might bring him one step closer to the meal he so desires. As he takes it and shoves it into his pocket, I move forward to the sandwich wench with the knowledge that I have helped my fellow man in his time of need. The story should have ended here, but alas I would not be reporting it here were that the case. Unfortunately, the ruffian steps in my path once again and demanding more compensation. Taken aback, I inform him that I had just gifted an amount in the sum of one american dollar to him mere seconds ago. The sod has to nerve to respond that his sub costs more than that and continues to demand more coin than I care to provide. Tired of his ill conceived manner, I tell him that I gave him all I had to offer and planned to pay through electronic means. Dejected and ungrateful, the fool finally leaves the shop as if I had offended him without so much as a word of gratitude. Some of the other patrons informed me after his less than dignified exit that he had asked them for money and that he performs this routine with alarming regularity. I left the shoppe without seeing him again but the entire experience left a rather bad taste in my mouth. I shant be so flippant when it comes to donating to those who claim need.

What say you good fellows of the Escapist? Has your charity been as poorly received as mine? If so, share your tale that we might discuss it together.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

Yes, unfortunately. My immediate family have literally counted on my goodwill to get them through their own issues and short-comings. For a while I didn't mind it, but after countless incidents where those how didn't deserve my goodwill had gone unchecked, I had to pull the plug and make them go cold turkey.

With the exception of one of my parents, the rest of my family can go on without my goodwill and see how awesome their lives would be without me giving them a piggy back. Spoiler warning: it's not. They are so rightly screwed that it's almost funny when they try to deny that their lives are not in the s***er without my help.

 

[Phasmal]

My parents can be kinda irresponsible, and I practically raised my little brother.
So, sometimes my parents would exploit this to get money out of me and my sisters, by saying my little brother needs this or that and then using the money on themselves.
The first time they did that to me I was fucking furious.

I don't let them do that any more, if he needs something, I buy it directly now. I'm in England and he's in Scotland so it can be difficult for some things but I have it kind of sorted now.

 

[Stepan_RUS']

There is an area near where i live with a number of people like you have mentioned. i do not give them any money, because most simply intend to rob you. (often do so to tourists)
One time, a man asking for money draw a knife on me. however i disarmed the knife and broke his arm simply, as he seemed a feeble man and i had training in armed forces.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I pretty much lost counts the amount of times I lend my money to my "mates" back in High school. No I didn't inply they were bullies or something that like that, they were just an arse of a friend to have. I will never get my monet back despite their claim they will pay me back.

I suppose the last time that happen to me was during the first few weeks when I was back in Universirty at my third years.

I was doing my shopping at the city and this stranger inform me that he lost his wallet and also a tourist (there is an airport outside of the city) so I gave him a few pounds coins. A week or two later, the stranger approch me again and said the same thing (asking like he never knew me), yup he was a con man and I regred given him my money.

 

[bojackx]

Apart from one friend in particular who would regularly ask me to lend him money, not really. He would need £30 for the weekend or whatever and even after we stopped hanging out he'd still ring me if he wanted some. The last time he asked I said no, and after a long and awkward conversation he eventually gave up and hasn't asked me since.

I can't think of anything else in particular. Some people tend to think I'm being taken advantage of when I'd just consider it unreasonable not to help, maybe I'm just too nice.

 

[Terminate421]

Someone said they were 5$ short of getting a hotel room, I gave 'em a ten and asked for the change. I looked away for a second and they were gone.

I was furious.

 

[Fappy]

People never ask to borrow money anymore from me because I hound them until they pay me back. I should be a loan shark.

 

[sextus the crazy]

I can't think of any times I was ripped off. I generally give money to people who are both friendly and specific about what they will purchase.

 

[JoJo]

I was going to say that I couldn't think of any examples but in fact there is one actually related to this site. Many of you will probably remember the whole Extra Credits mess a while back: I was one of those who donated towards Alison's arm surgery as a sign of thanks for my appreciation of the show. My initial goodwill was broken however when just a few weeks later it was suddenly announced that Extra Credits was leaving the site because of a dispute over where excess money donated would go. While I realise the Escapist made a mistake in their earlier view, they then changed their views to match Extra Credit's demands and EC still decided to throw the toys out of the pram and leave the site. As a fan I felt taken advantage of that they had willingly accepted our money a few weeks before and then abandoned us over "bad vibes" with the Escapist Staff. Since then I've watched a number of EC videos but never as regularly as I used to.

 

[Esotera]

I went to a sixth-form social where my ex-gf who'd broken up with me a week ago spent ten minutes convincing me to buy me a drink, then as soon as I agreed started getting it on with the guy who she was cheating on behind my back.

I made her pay back every penny in exact change though, and it spread round the college that she got carpet burns that night so it all worked out ok.

 

[GistoftheFist]

Ever? In my case, it's been always. I've given goodwill to others, charity to people who need it, and done the "right thing" my whole life. And without exaggeration, it's _never_ come back to me. Not a single time. A good example of this is my brother.

He is without a doubt the laziest person you'd ever meet. He has had lots of potential and advantages (or should I say handouts) in his daily life, but he squanders every bit of it. I remember him winning some plaque in school for math, I think it was for getting the 3rd highest score or something in the whole state. He could have gone to college and been successful, but he never applies himself. He is addicted to gaming. He's had almost every good console and owned nearly every RPG made and spends long hours playing them. When not at his computer or latest gaming device, he'll whip out his Nintendo DS and game on the go.

The interesting thing is that he's also got charisma and above-average intelligence, but for whatever reason he chooses instead to make the barest, most minimal effort required in life. He's been handed a job, a car, his current apartment was all set up for him, but he never shows any solitary form of gratitude or willingness to share with me any generosity at all. I've helped him move in and out three times, given him food/clothing/money when he had none and done my best to cheer him up when he's surly. Usually what happens is he mopes about some problem, and because of his likeable personality, we all rush to help him. When we offer something, he always says "it would be appreciated", instead of actually thanking us.

I'm at a point in my life where i've actually resorted to asking people for help, even reminding them how much i've gone out of my way to help _them_ when they needed it. I usually get one of two reactions; either the "left my wallet in my other pants" reply, where the person gives me the vaguest half-hearted maybe possibly sorta, then vanishes. The second one is outright hostility that I had the "nerve" to ask for something. The last person I asked for the most basic form of an unselfish act, this is the message reply I received: "I don't know where you get off thinking I owe you anything but I don't. I can't be bothered to drop everything i'm doing just because you don't have anyone to talk to." (this was on my birthday btw)

So, yeah. If I could go back and give myself advice to my past self, i'd encourage me to be more selfish and never, ever give anyone any goodwill unless I get it first. Sadly it's taken decades for me to accept that some people are more than willing to take your effort, but will refuse to return any of it, no matter how simple it is.

 

[Soundwave]

We had a woman at work who surprisingly was hired for a cashiering position when she had *actually* been convicted of fraud the previous year. Management respected her privacy and didn't make the information known (eventually an assistant manager let the information slip). She had a sort of "kindly older woman" vibe about her and nobody really thought anything of it. So near Christmas, she breaks the news to the store that her husband had suffered a heart attack. Being decent human beings we took up a collection for her to help with the expenses. Turns out not only was there no heart attack, but she'd spent the entire sum of money at the very store she worked at, buying steaks, cheeses produce, etc. She still had the audacity to continue working there. She eventually got transferred to my department and would frequently try to turn co-workers against each other. Finally she and I had an incident (she accused me of making threats against her) and I almost lost my job. Fortunately the truth was on my side, and I was able to return to work with my back pay. She was transferred to another store within the franchise, and through the grapevine I've heard she'd managed to get her department manager fired.

 

[Kyr Knightbane]

Yep, I was driving home from the store one evening and one of those 'Disabled Sick Veterans' in a wheel chair. I genuinely felt bad for this guy and rolled down my window.

Well apparently he wasn't disabled as he leaped up out of the chair and punched me in the face, took the money and ran. I just sat there stunned for a few minutes before calmly rolling my window up, calling the police and then going home.

 

[DanielBrown]

Yeah, but not by strangers.
Once I borrowed my old bass guitar to a friend since he wanted to play. A few months later when I asked about it he said he had borrowed it to his boyfriend(which wasn't his to borrow out to begin with), who in turn gave it to a friend. So long bass.
Didn't ask for compensation since I didn't need the bass anyway, but I expected an apology rather than "I don't know where it is now lol".

Another time I borrowed a friend 500 SEK(around $80 or so) to buy a Christmas present to his mom, or something. After I asked about the money a few weeks later I never saw him again - and this was a friend I had known closely for eight years. My trust in borrowing things to friends is pretty limited now.
At least he "forgot" his guitar amp, chord and plenty of guitar books at my place. Well worth more than what I gave him.

 

[Worgen]

I was going to say that I couldn't think of any examples but in fact there is one actually related to this site. Many of you will probably remember the whole Extra Credits mess a while back: I was one of those who donated towards Alison's arm surgery as a sign of thanks for my appreciation of the show. My initial goodwill was broken however when just a few weeks later it was suddenly announced that Extra Credits was leaving the site because of a dispute over where excess money donated would go. While I realise the Escapist made a mistake in their earlier view, they then changed their views to match Extra Credit's demands and EC still decided to throw the toys out of the pram and leave the site. As a fan I felt taken advantage of that they had willingly accepted our money a few weeks before and then abandoned us over "bad vibes" with the Escapist Staff. Since then I've watched a number of EC videos but never as regularly as I used to.

As I understand the situation was that the escapist wanted to use the excess money to cover misc costs and act as a salary for the ec guys, who had been doing the vids for free for awhile. The ec guys wanted to use the extra money to try and open a publishing label for games that might not otherwise get published. I know they did offer to send back any money donated if you didn't like what they were doing with it.

Anyway, the only time I can remember my goodwill being taken advantage of was back when I worked at a video store, some lady came up with a ton of movies and wanted to use a check to pay but she had no id but wanted to know if she could use a utilities bill or something. Anyway she wasn't able to get them, the manager said we couldn't do it but I tried to offer solutions. After she left he said he was pretty sure it was a stolen check since that is how they would often try and pass them off. I was rather pissed since I was trying to be all nice and find ways so she could get those dvds.

 

[Ashhearth]

Back in high school I bought dinner for people on multiple occasions because they couldn't afford it. Their parents actually wouldn't give them money to eat dinner so I would basically give them a 5 and tell them go buy something. I never actually bought the food for them though because it made them aware they were spending my money not theirs so it carried a bit more weight. No one ever paid me back but that is only because I would never let them and I have no problems spending that money so friends could eat a dinner. Money well spent in my book.

 

[Khinjarsi]

Not so much in terms of money, but certainly someone who I considered a good friend has taken advantage of both myself and my boyfriend until her circumstances changed, at which point she ignored us both (and still does). Her circumstances at the time led to us offering to stay a while, help her with her problems and her work (as I said, nothing monetary), which used our time and energy. I probably shouldn't be, but I'm still angry at her, and recent conversations with people about what she's been saying about us haven't helped.

I now have even more of a distrust of people, whether helping them with work or with what they say, than I did before. It's not just financially that this stuff hurts.

 

[JoJo]

I was going to say that I couldn't think of any examples but in fact there is one actually related to this site. Many of you will probably remember the whole Extra Credits mess a while back: I was one of those who donated towards Alison's arm surgery as a sign of thanks for my appreciation of the show. My initial goodwill was broken however when just a few weeks later it was suddenly announced that Extra Credits was leaving the site because of a dispute over where excess money donated would go. While I realise the Escapist made a mistake in their earlier view, they then changed their views to match Extra Credit's demands and EC still decided to throw the toys out of the pram and leave the site. As a fan I felt taken advantage of that they had willingly accepted our money a few weeks before and then abandoned us over "bad vibes" with the Escapist Staff. Since then I've watched a number of EC videos but never as regularly as I used to.

As I understand the situation was that the escapist wanted to use the excess money to cover misc costs and act as a salary for the ec guys, who had been doing the vids for free for awhile. The ec guys wanted to use the extra money to try and open a publishing label for games that might not otherwise get published. I know they did offer to send back any money donated if you didn't like what they were doing with it.

That's correct and pretty much what I said in my post... the key part of this that puts the blame squarely on EC is (as I mentioned in my previous post) that the Escapist changed their position in response to EC's demands and said EC could keep the raised money but EC still left the Escapist regardless even though they had what they wanted because of "bad blood". Frankly I think it sucks that they didn't stick around for the sake of the fans.