Help me end my rut

[knumpify]

It's been a long while since I posted here, but I've been here for years and have come to trust you guys. This is something that's kinda digging at me and would like some advice. All is cool, men, women, and anything in between please throw in here.

A little intro to get things rolling:

My name is Dave, and I'm a chef, an artist, and most importantly, a huge nerd. I'm writing this because I've hit a brick wall with dating I can't seem to get around and it's driving me nuts. I've had relationships before, I've got no problem going out to a nice bar or event and talking to new people, I've even got an online dating profile on OkCupid (same username if you're on there, drop me a few pointers if you want.) I've talked to all my female friends and they just say they don't get it, I'm nice.

I'll go to a bar, usually get bought a drink or meet someone nice (I'm not trying to boast, but I actually do get bought drinks once in a while,) we'll talk for an hour or two, things will get kinda flirty, I'll drop my number and I'll never hear from them again.

I've sent out so many nice messages on OkCupid that they've actually offered a membership discount twice. I've been replied to a hand full of times, and when we've talked back and forth for a while and agreed to do something, I'll drop my number and again, never hear from them again. Even online, they just blank out totally.

I'm not a creep, I'm not a stalker, I'm a nice guy with a career and a nice smile. I can even get you a dating resume from my ex because our break up was that amicable.

Am I cursed? does my phone number spell out something crude? do you want a date with me? (seriously, if you live in Toronto and are female and at least know what a video game is, I'd take you out and would like to get to know you) What the hell's going on here?

Just... Let me know I'm not insane with some crazy conspiracy. Thanks all.

PS: Just to make my dating life even more foreboding, the verification box under this post asked me to type "not yet". Really?

 

[Legion]

This is not coming from a dating expert by any means, but the one thing that stands out is you give them your number, and then seem to wait.

Why not suggest swapping numbers, and try giving them a call a few days later to see if they'd like to meet up? Or if you spend a decent amount of time together, simply ask if they'd like to meet up again some time?

It appears to me that each time, you are waiting for them to make the first move.

 

[SwiftBlade18]

Same sort of boat as you. Nice guy, online messages etc then nothing.

I dont think it exactly has any reflection on you as a person though dont worry!

I notice you say that you give them your number though. In my experience girls seem to be 'traditional' so I would recommend asking for their number and you contacting them rather than you giving them yours. I'm sorry if anyone thinks that a gross generalisation but I think girls probably like the attention/chase a bit...to be honest I would probably enjoy it if it was the other way round too!

Just remember though - when it finally does happen it will be awesome and totally worth the wait. Thats what I tell myself

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

snip

At least from what you've said, nothing about you screams "red flag", so it probably is just something small that you're failing to do. Like the two above me suggest, instead of just giving them your number and waiting for them to call you, get there number as well and call them. It's also possible the girls you're talking to don't like video games, so if you're going on and on about your love of video games in the conversation, that could be seen as a turn off.

 

[Haunted Serenity]

Grow muttonchops, smoke a pipe and drink brandy. Maybe a boller hat would help. In seriousness try changing the small things and mix up the routine so it becomes less of a "rut" and becomes "Can I pull off this method". As long as you have fun and mix it up it won't be a rut. Don't sell yourself out though.

 

[Mersadeon]

This is not coming from a dating expert by any means, but the one thing that stands out is you give them your number, and then seem to wait.

Why not suggest swapping numbers, and try giving them a call a few days later to see if they'd like to meet up? Or if you spend a decent amount of time together, simply ask if they'd like to meet up again some time?

It appears to me that each time, you are waiting for them to make the first move.

Seconded. While I don't think it is necessarily your fault for giving them the option to call you, I'd say just try calling them yourself - maybe you just had really rotten luck and the girls you talked to were to anxious to call you?