Help My F'd Up Love Life

[Lord Habbs]

Right...it's 2 days before valentines and I need advice on my love life and where better to get it than an anonymous internet forum.

First off, i'll talk about me...im a 20 year old from a town in england currently at Uni. Im in need of advice because there are 2 women in my life and i don't know what to do...

the first girl is my ex...we went to the same school but she has moved to a different uni, she is a stunner but has the reputation as a bit of a bike but one of the things that brought us together was the fact that we were both very "liberal" when it came to sex and number of partners. we always had a great time together and she had the same gallows sense of humor as me but she knew she was hot and used it to get stuff(but i didnt mind, part of the attraction to her) however recently she has been trying to get me back and whenever were on term breaks from uni she constantly tries to get me to meet up with her

and i would if it wasnt for the fact that there is another girl

she is a member of my friendship group but is now studying in London. during term time we hardly ever speak but when were back home it always takes a few days before we settle back into the couple routine. we have never spoken about how serious were taking the relationship(because i think both of us are scared wel hear the wrong thing) so this is where the doubt sets in in my mind as to whether she wants to be in a relationship with me. all our friends consider us a couple but its always a bit awkward when they do this. when it comes to interests we hate each others, hers main interest is anime which i constantly slag off and mine is football(soccer for those who play made up sports lol) which she hates with a passion. but these and other differences such as fashion (hers is alt were as mine is a very "British casual" look) give us something to joke about and in my opinion bring us together. she is no way near as attractive as the other girl but she makes up for that with her strong will.

so now ive described both of them i need to know what i should do (granted i will probably not take any of the advice given)

should i take the gamble with the girl i do want to be in a relationship and hope that she feels the same too, considering she always seems disinterested when i talk to her while were both at uni
or
should i go for the easy f**k with the hot but ultimately not as nice person and risk losing the girl i want because i read to much into lack of interest in texts and im?

before you ether judge or tell me its a simple choice remember its not your life

 

[lettucethesallad]

should i take the gamble with the girl i do want to be in a relationship and hope that she feels the same too, considering she always seems disinterested when i talk to her while were both at uni
or
should i go for the easy f**k with the hot but ultimately not as nice person and risk losing the girl i want because i read to much into lack of interest in texts and im?

Read that bit again. I think you just answered your own question.

If you really want this girl, then I think you should talk to her about it. If you tell her how you feel, and actually find out what she feels too, instead of reading too much into things (I'm guilty of this, I should listen to my own advice), then you'll know. If she's not into you, then at least you know and you'd be free to pursue the hot chick if you'd like.

 

[eggy32]

Toss a coin, done.

 

[New Troll]

Either choice sounds like you'd be taking a chance, just differently. Though I know which choice I personally would make, my only advice to you would be think about which option you won't regret in the future. Which choice, even if it goes badly, you'll be glad you at least took that chance. There is no bad choice, and especially no wrong choice, but you also don't want to spend the rest of your life with regret.

 

[Dango]

Not to be rude, but there is a separate forum section for this kind of thing:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/index/538-Advice-Forum

 

[blaize2010]

take her on a casual date and see if you have fun. It has to be away from school, somewhere both you and she would like. nobody in the alt scene is ever excited about anything while studying, and i should know. and don't try to be funny. never try to be funny. let funniness happen

 

[lettucethesallad]

Also, why the double post?

 

[CrashBang]

If I was in your position I wouldn't go with option 1. I'm not one for open relationships and being 'liberal'. Actually I probably wouldn't choose either. I'm also 20, also English, also at uni and having a girlfriend living away from my uni sucks. I did it in first year and it's just annoying and frustrating. I personally wouldn't gamble and would just find a third girl who's better than girl one and girl two

 

[The Wykydtron]

Go for secret option number C!

Also kudos for almost making this particular romance thread almost interesting...

 

[MiracleOfSound]

before you ether judge or tell me its a simple choice remember its not your life

Which is exactly why this is a decision you need to make for yourself.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

Why not have both? XD

In all seriousness though, I'd go with the one you're with now. Not your ex, the other girl. It seems like there's a real connection there other than "Hey, we're fuck buddies every so often!"

Sure, the easy lay is tempting, but I'd go for the long term lay over the fuck buddy lay anytime.

There's more to it than sex, but that's totally what you made this sound like.

If all you're looking for is sex; go with the first girl. If you want a relationship that goes beyond that, go with the other girl.

 

[linkmastr001]

should i take the gamble with the girl i do want to be in a relationship and hope that she feels the same too, considering she always seems disinterested when i talk to her while were both at uni
or
should i go for the easy f**k with the hot but ultimately not as nice person and risk losing the girl i want because i read to much into lack of interest in texts and im?

You say in your post that there is only one girl you want a relationship with, so I say with go with her. If it doesn't work out, I guess you have a backup...

 

[p3t3r]

3some?
i think if you get back with the first girl it's not gonna last and it is basically just gonna be a fun time. so fun time or your current girl it's up to you to figure out.

 

[zidine100]

two suggestions, i dont know which one is right but hell, why not post them anyway.

i know this may sound unmanly, but hell, none. In either case you clearly will be thinking what if and well that wont end well.

but if you really have to choose id say go for the second one, it will at least be more interesting that way.

in either case i wouldnt recommend going with your ex, you seem to just think of her as a back up now (going by your post) and well you'll regret it and she'll regret it.

 

[rutger5000]

You're young you're in uni, do what you feel like doing. If you want to date your ex date your ex, if you want to take a shot at the other girl take a shot at the other girl. Don't try to do both that is lame. There's no one you need to justify this choice too. Personally I would go for the other girl, purely for the reason that would like to .. .Can't really finish this sentence, my own love life is screwed up too. Sorry I need to go and crawl in a corner and complain to myself how difficult my situation is.

 

[Bradd94]

Go for the girl you like.
There isn't any point going for the less meaningful option because you'll always be thinking of what 'could have happened'.

Cliched, I know - but you don't want to always remember her as the one that got away.

// Oh and don't try both.
Far, far too dangerous.
And douchebag like.

 

[zombiesinc]

(granted i will probably not take any of the advice given)

I took the time to read your post and hit this... seeing as you've already predetermined you're likely to take nothing from this thread, I'll refrain from posting any advice.