Help with a character

[Wilfy]

I'm in need of help making a character in a story I'm writing more evil. I've got the basic outline for the story and now I'm just fleshing out the details and characters.
The character is the main villain of the story. He is part of a super-powered cult that wants the hero recruited because he too has powers.
The problem I have is that he isn't evil enough. Most of what he does is just him carrying out orders for the cult, but I want him to be more evil and interesting. I have the outline of a backstory for him, but I could do with some help making him more believeable, evil and interesting.

Spoiler

The backstory is that this boy developed powers at a very early age. His father kills his mother during an argument on his birthday and then begins abusing the boy. Social services can't do anything though, because despite reports from neighbours, there are no signs of abuse on the boy due to his healing abilities. The boy puts up with ten years of abuse and then leaves home. A member of the cult finds the boy living on the street, stealing from the nearby shopping centre. He takes the boy under his wing and iniates him into the cult, from which point on the boy does anything the cult asks. This eventually leads him to hunt down his father and use his powers to make him relive his worst memories forever.

Any help, comments or critisicm (as long as it's constructive) will be greatly appreciated.

 

[APPCRASH]

So, he's evil because he was abused as a child?

 

[HardRockSamurai]

Make him kill a kitten.

I'm dead serious. Make it part of the initiation rite or something. I mean, just look at these things!

All evil starts with killing one of these.

 

[Jacobistheshiz]

Make him be Hitler incarnate or randomly write 9/11 in the character discription. Or you can make him middle eastern! BAAM!!! YOU JUST GOT IDEAED!!!

 

[Wilfy]

So, he's evil because he was abused as a child?

No, not as such. He's evil because he is initated into a cult that does evil things. The cult uses the fact that he was abused as a child as leverage to turn him against people and get him to do what they want.

Sorry, I should have put that in my first post to make it more clear.

 

[ghalkhsdkssakgh]

Does he have a mustache? Because he should. Seriously. Just look at this guy.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

I'm in need of help making a character in a story I'm writing more evil. I've got the basic outline for the story and now I'm just fleshing out the details and characters.
The character is the main villain of the story. He is part of a super-powered cult that wants the hero recruited because he too has powers.
The problem I have is that he isn't evil enough. Most of what he does is just him carrying out orders for the cult, but I want him to be more evil and interesting. I have the outline of a backstory for him, but I could do with some help making him more believeable, evil and interesting.

Spoiler

The backstory is that this boy developed powers at a very early age. His father kills his mother during an argument on his birthday and then begins abusing the boy. Social services can't do anything though, because despite reports from neighbours, there are no signs of abuse on the boy due to his healing abilities. The boy puts up with ten years of abuse and then leaves home. A member of the cult finds the boy living on the street, stealing from the nearby shopping centre. He takes the boy under his wing and iniates him into the cult, from which point on the boy does anything the cult asks. This eventually leads him to hunt down his father and use his powers to make him relive his worst memories forever.

Any help, comments or critisicm (as long as it's constructive) will be greatly appreciated.

Have the boy kill the member of the cult who took him under his wing, because he feels he no longer needs to take orders.

 

[Dragon_of_red]

Make him kill a kitten.

I'm dead serious. Make it part of the initiation rite or something. I mean, just look at these things!

All evil starts with killing one of these.

Nawwwwww, that adorable, how could anyone kill on of those?

OT: sounds like its ok, might wanna sped something about the cult, caus itsa just like suprise, some random cult is here now

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

So, he's evil because he was abused as a child?

No, not as such. He's evil because he is initated into a cult that does evil things.

No.
Just no.
People are evil because of their intentions, not their actions.
If you want him to be evil, have him kill his father for beating up his mother, then take control of the cult, then execute the entire cult and rebuild it.
That's evil.
Killing kittens is just diet evil.

 

[Wilfy]

Have the boy kill the member of the cult who took him under his wing, because he feels he no longer needs to take orders.

As part of iniation into the cult or just because he feels superior to the others? I like the idea though

sounds like its ok, might wanna sped something about the cult, caus itsa just like suprise, some random cult is here now

The cult has been present in the story throughout, although it takes a back seat so to speak to allow me to focus more on the villain. How evil the cult is is revealed towards the end.

 

[Hutchy_Bear]

Make him join the BNP.

 

[TheLastCylon]

Is it just me or does this remind anyone of Halloween?



But yeah, make him track down and torture and kill his father. Afterwards, he takes control of the cult and leads it down a darker direction.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Have the boy kill the member of the cult who took him under his wing, because he feels he no longer needs to take orders.

As part of iniation into the cult or just because he feels superior to the others? I like the idea though

Just because he feels superior.

OR (just had another idea)
Have him start to kill the fathers of happy families he sees, because he resents that they have what he never did.

 

[Wilfy]

So, he's evil because he was abused as a child?

No, not as such. He's evil because he is initated into a cult that does evil things.

No.
Just no.
People are evil because of their intentions, not their actions.
If you want him to be evil, have him kill his father for beating up his mother, then take control of the cult, then execute the entire cult and rebuild it.
That's evil.
Killing kittens is just diet evil.

Fair enough, I'll take your advice. Maybe he serves the cult until he can find and kill his father, then he takes over the cult?

 

[Wilfy]

Have the boy kill the member of the cult who took him under his wing, because he feels he no longer needs to take orders.

As part of iniation into the cult or just because he feels superior to the others? I like the idea though

Just because he feels superior.

OR (just had another idea)
Have him start to kill the fathers of happy families he sees, because he resents that they have what he never did.

That's a good idea. Maybe throughout the story there are news reports on fathers of families being killed and the bodies left in public places?

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Have the boy kill the member of the cult who took him under his wing, because he feels he no longer needs to take orders.

As part of iniation into the cult or just because he feels superior to the others? I like the idea though

Just because he feels superior.

OR (just had another idea)
Have him start to kill the fathers of happy families he sees, because he resents that they have what he never did.

That's a good idea. Maybe throughout the story there are news reports on fathers of families being killed and the bodies left in public places?

Thank you. Yeah, that's definitely evil in my books

 

[Khyrador]

Make him believe, with unshakeable conviction, that the opinion of the cult (which strikes me as basically "might makes right") is completely correct. The ways in which he uses his power is justified in his eyes because he has the means (or perhaps the obligation) to use it that way.

In my experience, the most striking villains are the ones who firmly believe in what they do and feel that it is justified and/or necessary.

 

[Zayren]

Make his taglines be,"Sithis be with you." and "Glory to the Night Mother." and you just KNOW that kicks the evil up like twelve notches.

 

[Goldeneye103X2]

Make him ruthless, and as hateable as possible.