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maninahat

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Nov 8, 2007
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I've never heard of this greenhousing before. Am I still allowed to offer advice?

My advice is, when you present the story to us, you should be able to describe the idea in 25 words or less. This is known as a "logline", and it is possible to create one for any good film or novel. For example, here is the logline to a script I wrote:

"A struggling bartender plans to murder the local drunk for life insurance money. But what happens to the perfect murder when the victim just won't die?"

Alright, that is 26ish words, but you get the idea. If you cannot describe the main character, his objective, and the obstacle preventing him from reaching his objective in these 25 words, then your story is probably lacks focus. Only when you can do this 25 word trick, should you be willing to go into detail.

Another thing to keep in mind whilst coming up with your story, is to consider what the central theme is. Is this a story of denial, survival, or determination? Sure, it might feature all of those, but you should make one central to the story. In The Lion King, the main theme is "responsibility". Simba acts irresponsible, he runs from his responsibility, and finally, he learns to take responsibility by the end.

Next tip: When creating characters, always ask yourself: "what is unique about this character that makes him unlike any other?" Unless the character is a faceless extra, try to give everyone of your characters something original or interesting to make them memorable. A protagonist should have one primary flaw, and maybe a couple of lesser ones. This weakness allows for tension, twists, and a sense of development (does the character overcome these flaws?) Development is vital, by the way. If they haven't learned anything from their experiences, neither will the reader. See Marty McFly in Back to the Future. His weakness is his lack of confidence, which prevents him from becoming a good musician. He manages to overcome this problem in the end, only for them to have to write in a new weakness for the sequels: Marty can't tolerate being called a chicken. He gets over this in the end as well.

Weaknesses also make the protagonist more relatable, but if you give em to many, they become obnoxious and whiny. If you can answer any question about your main character, then you have succeeded in making a human, rounded protagonist. (what drink do they like, what is their favourite colour. Do they have an opinion about potpourri? etc.)

There are just a few things to help you out.
 

Zyxx

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Jan 25, 2010
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Some good solid potential here. See if you can get some more plot details out there - the actual sequence of events that goes on in the series. (I have a really hard time doing this, so I'm sensitive to it.)
Okay, on to the good stuff. It's a bit late, so forgive me if I end up repeating or asking questions which have already been answered:

Is there another being/weapon/force with sufficient power to stop Cy at full rampage? Between her and her dad, who would win?

Is she the demon king's biological daughter? Who's the mother? Exactly what does that mean in demon society? How much authority does the demon king actually have? Does he rule simply by virtue of being the strongest?

What if the demon king isn't really a "king" in the sense of ruling anything - what they want to bring through is something more like a terraforming device, for making the world more suitable for demon habitation. He could still be a living thing, and even have a daughter - her darkness manipulating powers are derivative of the elemental manipulation the King uses to alter worlds.
Maybe the demons still refer to him as their King - their society doesn't necessarily have to make sense in human terms, after all. Perhaps he really is thought of as the sovereign, despite not saying very much: Azathoth, possibly the most powerful being in the Lovecraft mythos, is a "blind idiot god".

I'm sleepy, so I'll stop here, but I'll post some more if I think of it. Good luck!
 

Verlander

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Apr 22, 2010
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Niagro said:
Verlander said:
I can't help, but remember "too many cooks spoil the broth"
Thanks, that is true, but this is a tried and tested process, It's the same one I used when solving corporate problems for companies such as LEGO, Skype, Boots, The Discovery Channel... The list goes on, It's a process I've been brought up on; I know that if people really give it a good go, and it starts rolling, we will end up with something brilliant.

But we just need to get a few people started, that's all.

Ironically, however, that is possibly the first post in the format of Greenhousing...
Sorry I'm not more useful then! Good luck man
 

2733

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Sep 13, 2010
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here's one,
when cy saves the protagonist with her power after almost killing him, it somehow puts most of her power in him (he can't use the power) so if she gets to far from him or he dies she losses most of her power
 

CouchCommando

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Apr 24, 2008
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Sorry just having a problem visualizing the demons, are they like of a physical form or more your generic possession invisible spirit thing? or some cool combination of different types manifesting themselves in a whole bunch of unique ways?

-Like the dormant possession waiting to happen type, manifesting itself as just a mere shadow in the corner of the victim/carriers vision and a whisper or outburst of irrational emotions/behavior and progressively getting worse.

-A physical manifestation, basically demon in its grotesque all powerful mind bending true form in all its glory.-if so what constraints/weakness if any may they posses?

-A spirit form that can be seen by only those possessed, spirit aware, or other demon kind, and can attempt to posses and control other forms of both spirit and life for only a short period of time (kinda thinking of your comic relief character going along these lines)

And are the norms, going to be like so much chafe or could even they pose a possible significant threat to a demon kind? maybe through (the over used)spiritual paraphenalia or practice, or some significant sci-fi technology. (dunno maybe tie in some crap about a hadron collider and chrystaline stasis wormwhole grenades gating spirits to other dimensions.) And frequency vibrations on the sub atomic level to create potential demon maiming edged weapons. Not to make it a level playing field just to kind of throw out a mixed bag of how shit could go down when it comes to the inevitable combat scenarios.