His jokes are horrible but he just won't shut up

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Dr Pussymagnet

a real piece of shit
Dec 20, 2007
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I'm pretty sure there are plenty of us here who've had a friend who thought of himself as an absolute comedic genius, yet nobody would ever laugh at his attempts at a joke.


So if you do happen to have on of those kinds of friends, then what's the worst he or she has ever told?


I play the susaphone in marching band at my high school(some people think thats a bad thing, for some reason) and there happens to be this one guy in our instrument section who constantly makes attempts at trying to be funny, yet most of the time we just hear his joke and stare at each other wondering if what he said was actually a joke.

For example, one time after school when we were about to head outside in about ten minutes to practice for band, we were all sitting in the tuba storage room, where we normally hang out, when all of a sudden the guy in my instrument group who thinks he's funny barges in through the door and says, "SWAT Team!" He then looks at all of us for about a second and then yells, "Oh crap!" Then he runs out.....

...
 

SargentToughie

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Jun 14, 2008
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Woot for fellow marching band member (I play Baritone)

and yes... I know plenty of people like that

I'm one of them on occasion
 

Mr.Pandah

Pandah Extremist
Jul 20, 2008
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I had one of those friends, but thankfully i'm not a friend of his anymore. When it starts to hurt to smile and nod/attempt to laugh at a terrible joke, you know its bad.
 

Space Spoons

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Aug 21, 2008
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Eggo post=18.71423.723014 said:
Carlos Mencia.
Seconded. Enthusiastically.

Blue, I think we all have a friend like that. I certainly did. Usually managed to avoid him by "forgetting" to invite him to do stuff with our group of friends, though...
 

milomalo

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Mar 29, 2008
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thats not cool if its a "friend" you should tell him/her your jokes sucks... thats what i do... and i still have friends but nobody tells jokes to me since then... :(
 

Jobz

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May 5, 2008
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Eggo post=18.71423.723014 said:
Carlos Mencia.
Agreed, 100%

Shivari post=18.71423.723050 said:
Dane Cook.
I like Dane Cook from time to time, have to be in the right frame of mind to enjoy his brand of humor though.

Luckily I don't really have friends like that...all of my friends seem to be hilarious most of the time for some reason. Even in the most boring or fucked up situations, somebody cracks a joke and we all end up laughing and gasping for air.
 

blank0000

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Oct 3, 2007
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I know what your talking about, yes they exist, but at the same time I just want to say...

Carlos Mencia
 

yourkie1921

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Jul 24, 2008
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I love carlos mencia's jokes!


and, no I have no friends like that.
He's not a comedian.he's a talking chimp.
Are you talking about the same Dane Cook I'm thinking of?
 

Random Argument Man

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May 21, 2008
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I'm suprised you guys didn't mention "the guys who made Scary Movie 1,2,3,4 Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans and Disaster movie".

I think it's the best example.
 

Rodyille

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Sep 11, 2008
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Me I'm a little like that my jokes are exceptionally dry and very few appreciate them but my father and flat mate are very bad like my flat mate calls me while I'm playing DND and says "Dont let it DRAG-ON too much" yukkk!
 

Jobz

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May 5, 2008
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the protaginist post=18.71423.723073 said:
Shivari post=18.71423.723050 said:
Dane Cook.

He's not a comedian.he's a talking chimp.
I agree with you in a way, he's not a comedian in the traditional sense of the word because he doesn't technically tell "jokes" his punch lines are either random tangents from what he was talking about, simply a sound, gesture or odd noise, or totally non-existent.

But he's good for a laugh now and then.
 

Dr Pussymagnet

a real piece of shit
Dec 20, 2007
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Random argument man post=18.71423.723075 said:
I'm suprised you guys didn't mention "the guys who made Scary Movie 1,2,3,4 Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans and Disaster movie".

I think it's the best example.

Well don't be surprised, because my original quesion wasn't "Name someone that isn't funny."
It's basically "What's the worst joke your unfunny friend has told you that he thought was hilarious but you thought was absolutely stupid."

EDIT: I also doubt that Carlos Mencia is any of you guys' friend
 

jacobschndr

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Aug 15, 2008
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I had a friend who told a joke once, because he thought he was the clown at work.

He would walk up to random people and ask, "Do you have a "Hemway"?
He would do this until someone responded, "Whats a "Hemway"?
At which he would say the punch line, "About three or four pounds" (ba-dum-tish)

(cricket noise)

Yeah...he would always tell jokes like that and no one found them to be funny.
 
Aug 3, 2008
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SargentToughie post=18.71423.723023 said:
Woot for fellow marching band member (I play Baritone)

and yes... I know plenty of people like that

I'm one of them on occasion
Welcome to the club... no really... I'm a member of a club like this... its called W.I.E.R.D.
I think I'll let youre minds wonder unto what this means...