How can I stop thinking about him?

[kikon9]

I'm a closet homosexual, and I've fallen for one of my straight friends. I've already recognized that he won't ever like me, and I'm trying to move on. The problem is that I can't get him out of my head. I've tried as hard as I can to stop thinking about him, but I can't. I've only been able to think of him, and I've gotten depressed because of it.

I just want to forget about the guy. Can anybody give me some advice?

 

[Drtfgf5]

It's a great thing that you told us escapists that your homosexual.Great thing to get off your back but can be embarrassing.
Depression is horrible to have (not saying your bad but it sucks to have it.)
A great thing I do to forget thing is playing multiplayer games and get really focused on it.
Another is go play sports with friends and get focused on it.
Some other things that I would rather leave un-listed but hopefully everything turns out good on you!

 

[PleaseDele]

This is a very risky action, but you might want to tell him you are homosexual. This way you might be able to get at least one thing of your chest. But like I said it is risky, especially since I don't know how your friend will react.

What I can say is that you probably shouldn't try to suppress it completely as it seems you're already buckling under the pressure. Maybe telling the friend in question isn't the best solution, but I definitely recommend you spilling the beans to someone so they can support you.

But since you're not out of the closet yet, I'd start there. Maybe not to everyone, but you should take someone in.

As for distraction, be careful with that. Social isolation because of you trying to avoid the situation might just get the rumor mill going. Some will guess you might be homosexual, but other things might pop up. These could work against you.

So all in all, be careful man! Hope you can lose that depression.

 

[Zoe Castillo]

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[thecatsme0w]

I'd really recommend talking to a professional counsellor if you can. Sometimes they've helped me reframe situations before so that I could move on. And I totally know where you are coming from - when I was 13 and first realizing I liked girls as well as boys, my first crush was on my (female) best friend (I'm a girl too). I came out to her and asked her out at the same time and she was flattered but turned me down. That was um 13 years ago and she and I've been best friends for almost 19 years now. I'm thankful that that didn't make our friendship weird.

 

[Rastien]

After recently going through a break up with my girlfriend of 2 years only advice i can offer is to not put them on a pedastall... spelling sigh my one true weakness. But as i was saying don't make them out to be this amazing greatest person on the earth as its a dark road to go down trust me on that.

Keep yourself distracted and when you find yourself fantasising about this person or getting lost in thought try to think of times they have upset you or done something perticurly annoying to you.

Hope my advise isn't to harsh but i had to do the above to be able to deal with the situation and move on i hasen to add were still very close and good friends just not in that way anymore. also she broke it off not me which as anyone who has been in their first long term relationship breaking up knows its like being cut in 2.

 

[Thamian]

One thing I've found worked with girls that I liked was to lock them out of my life. Basically just walk away, cut contact as ruthlessly and effectively as possible and avoid them like the plague.

These emotions that often get bundled together under the heading of 'love' are like fire, they need fuel, oxygen and heat. You're the oxygen, your emotions are the heat, and contact with them just adds more fuel. You cut that fuel supply and sooner or later it'll burn out.

I ain't gonna lie. It's not going to be easy.

 

[aba1]

When things get to me I stop caring. I know this sounds stupid but I just starting thinking about good things I have going and other things I am excited about and just distract myself and if that doesn't work I convince myself I am being stupid and thinking way to hard n that I should go enjoy somthing more worth my time.

Though I havent really ever met anybody else this works all that well for so sorry if its useless advice...

Also I can attest to the post above. Time away is time not thinking about it and time you get perspective. Its healthy to remove yourself from the problem.

 

[jacobythehedgehog]

Sometimes the best way to get over someone is to have the hope you will find someone bette. I nwo that might be lame advice, but it is true. Maybe try looking out for someone new

 

[umbraeli]

Go out with friends (maybe not him) and do things to try and get your mind off him
Sitting around doesn't help, just makes it harder (I've done that many times)
hopefully you'll find another boy soon that will make you forget all about this one

 

[C95J]

Like some other people have said, it may be risky, but coming out might be the best thing to do, but only if he is open minded. It can get a lot of your chest and you won't be as nervous afterwards.

This might just be me as well, but if I had a homosexual friend, who came out and said I was attractive, as a straight guy I would be flattered, it would at least raise my own confidence a bit and I would just take it as a compliment!

Also, things like this will go over time, the girl I like turned me down, and although I still like her now, it's not as bad, and I am steadily getting over her.