how do you feel about being judged on your looks?

[Vault101]

we all do it

we all know WHY we do it

a while ago I was on reddit (I was attempting to avoid this place because of ME3) and one of the "sub reddits" I think was "am I hot?"..basically peopel ( I think mostly women) post pictures of themselfs asking for a rating on their apearence

this..I found kind of unsettling..BUT on the other hand..kind of understandable, I guess its understandable to want to know generally "where" you stand in terms of attractiveness

so anyway...

obviously this is MUCH worse for women than it is for men (seriously) personally I really cant stand the Idea of being "rated" on my apearence...I also resent the fact that this has to be such a big deal, and the fact that a womenas attractiveness has to be one of her biggest assets


I know it happens, but I also know that its a private thing..(random people arnt going to say to me..yeah your a 5 or 6)

so really, Id rather just remain ignorant...when we look in the mirror how brain "photoshops" our face to be more attractive...thinking we are more attractvie than we are gives us that (perhaps more important) confidence boost...and as they say "ignorance is bliss"

of coarse some of it is on me...since apearance requires some effort, (I mean I tried to learn to use an eye pencil but everytime I thought "theres a million other things I'd rather be doing right now") so yeah...I dont even know how to apply msot make-up aside from foundation (shock horror)

 

[wintercoat]

I'm fat, wear glasses, have long hair, and a wild beard. I pretty much ignore it. School knocked my propensity to give a fuck about what others think down to pretty much zero. That girl giving me the "please don't rape me" look, the teenagers who are retarded when it comes to insults(seriously, the bland comments that I get from kids nowadays make me weep. They were much more inventive when I was in school), the "I'm better than you" stare-down I get from complete strangers that you just know comes from me being fat. I've been given worse. Much worse.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Um, insecure? I know I'm not very attractive so I try to dress blandly to avoid attracting attention to myself. Usually just pants and shirt, and not the awful tight kind. However, with most girls following the trends this means I often end up sticking out like a sore thumb. I also have a long fringe so I can just keep my head down and it hides my face. I have no idea how to apply make up and I can't help thinking it makes me look like a clown. Besides, if I suddenly started making an effort regarding my appearance it will be really noticeable (since at the moment I'm making none), and I don't want to have to deal with people who already know me saying "Oh my god, are you wearing make up??!?!?!?!"

Plus it seems like way too much effort, and quite disingenuous. I can't help but feel that if I get into the habit of wearing make up I'll start feeling too embarrassed to be seen without it. I went through a hair straightening phase in high school because I thought my hair was too frizzy until I found myself refusing to leave the house unless I'd straightened my hair, meaning I ended up being late more than usual. It got to the stage where I just went 'this is fucking ridiculous' and stopped.

So anyway, what I'm getting at is- please don't judge me.

 

[Vault101]

. I have no idea how to apply make up and I can't help thinking it makes me look like a clown.

yeah..I feel absolutly rediculous is a dress (also heels because I cant walk for shit in heels....I actually REALLY hate heels) parts of thats probably because Im nto used to it yet



[quote/] Besides, if I suddenly started making an effort regarding my appearance it will be really noticeable (since at the moment I'm making none), and I don't want to have to deal with people who already know me saying "Oh my god, are you wearing make up??!?!?!?!" [/quote]

I know exactally how you feel...a few years ago I NEVER wore my hair out (part of the reason it was "hermione from harry potter" hair and i hated it) I never did because I would feel unformfortable, and if you change somthing that last thing you want to do is draw attention to the fact that youve changed somthing, and have it subject to the judgment of others

it changed one day where I was going into a situation where no one knew me, so no one was going to comment on my hair...(and now I wear it out often) also thank god for hair straighteners

[quote/] Plus it seems like way too much effort, and quite disingenuous. I can't help but feel that if I get into the habit of wearing make up I'll start feeling too embarrassed to be seen without it. I went through a hair straightening phase in high school because I thought my hair was too frizzy until I found myself refusing to leave the house unless at straightened my hair, meaning I ended up being late more than usual. It got to the stage where I just went 'this is fucking ridiculous' and stopped. [/quote]

I havnt left my "hair straightening" stage, I know somtimes it stupid, and I hate freaking out everytime it looks like its going to rain

its not as bad now because I can do it within a decent time and Ive just worked it into my daily routine....but the amount of time It takes

amoung other things...I kind of resent the fact its so easy for guys..the fact that they can go to somthing in jeans and a shirt but if I do Im under dressed

I mean for fuck sake..some of us actually have more important things to do (like video games and forum posting)

 

[Slaanesh]

Considering I'm possibly one of the most sexiest bastards alive, I really don't mind. But judging me on my personality on the other hand...

 

[aba1]

I don't judge people based on how they look all that much outside obvious indicators like t-shirts that have things I like on them etc. I guess some won't believe me but I make a point of not doing it so ya...

As for my looks I think I do decently for myself I have a decent build decently muscular. I am a ginger but my hair has blonded out over the last few years. I have had a good few girls say I have very sexy eyes, they are teal with hazel accents. I have had a few girls be interested in me over the years so I guess I know I must be decent looking but I think it is my relaxed attitude that makes girls like me because I never judge so they find it easy to relax around me. I guess it doesn't matter anymore since I have been dating my current girlfriend for 6 years I don't really need to impress anyone sexually other than her.

 

[Just_A_Glitch]

I think I have potential. Once I drop this weight (I've lost forty pounds since the new year, and I'm still going at it), I think I could be about an 8. The women already say my curly hair is to die for, so imagine that on somebody who looks good!

For most of my life, I haven't really cared how I look when it comes to being attractive. Too much effort that I wasn't really willing to put in. Really, the weight loss thing is more about getting healthy. Not about getting a mate.

 

[aba1]

I havnt left my "hair straightening" stage, I know somtimes it stupid, and I hate freaking out everytime it looks like its going to rain

its not as bad now because I can do it within a decent time and Ive just worked it into my daily routine....but the amount of time It takes

amoung other things...I kind of resent the fact its so easy for guys..the fact that they can go to somthing in jeans and a shirt but if I do Im under dressed

I mean for fuck sake..some of us actually have more important things to do (like video games and forum posting)

I wouldn't worry about it my gf never wears any make-up or does her hair or any of those girly things. She does her hair up in pig tails tosses on a shirt and pants n shes good to go and I respect her more for it.

 

[Elate]

It all depends on who you ask, and who you want to appeal to. So, yeah I feel fine about it most of the time, it does kind of annoy me when I get odd comments, like I should cut my hair.. It just seems arrogant, I have no intention of appealing to their tastes, so why would I care about their opinion? If they mattered, I would ask.

As for other people, I wouldn't even consider dating someone I don't find physically attractive.
Call me shallow, but I would rather date someone I find hot, or cute, and be able to.. y'know, not have to imagine other things during.. well yeah anyway, rather than someone who I find physically unattractive and probably would remark upon it, hurting their feelings.. It just goes against my whole ethical system of not lying to someone, and that includes harsh truths.

 

[Fappy]

There are plenty of things about my appearance I don't like but I have been told by women that I am good looking. Though for men it really doesn't make much of a difference unless you are radically on either ends of the spectrum. I'd rather someone get to know me before they judge, but then I have a pretty stubborn "I don't actually give a fuck about how you view me" attitude anyway.

On a related note I had to break up with a girl after a four(ish) month long relationship because I didn't find her sexually attractive. I felt fucking horrible and stretched it out hoping that I was just off my rocker and didn't know what I was missing. When we broke up it was pretty much mutual (I had totally drifted) and I didn't tell her the real reason why. Sometimes the truth is best kept secret

 

[Heronblade]

Indifferent for the most part, and the same goes for me judging others to at least some degree.

I can't claim to be completely uncaring about the appearances of others, but tend to do my best to discard such first impressions and focus on their words and actions. Along the way I noticed that actual personality seemed to be inversely related to a person's outward appearance, although exceptions to the trend exist in both directions.

To put it another way, nearly all of the interesting people I have ever met, male or female, are among those that do not spend an excessive amount of time adjusting or worrying about the way they look. It shouldn't be surprising I know, but I still find it amusing to watch others of my gender competing for the interest of women who have the among least inherent value. Its a bit like watching someone mistake iron pyrite for gold.

 

[Vault101]

[
I wouldn't worry about it my gf never wears any make-up or does her hair or any of those girly things. She does her hair up in pig tails tosses on a shirt and pants n shes good to go and I respect her more for it.

I know......and I'm not after the hottest guys (hottest as in a "certain" type of person..not to imply all you gents here are unattractive) we wouldnt have anything in common anyway

the hair straightening thing I also do for myself....I always had frizzy/curly hair and hated it

EDIT: of coarse putting people in boxes should never the final veiw we have on anything

snip.

apearence matters...we cant really help that

and no, we shouldn't be expected to go out with somone whom we find the Idea of physical contact nausiating because "it would be shallow otherwise"

but that said looks fade away...you cant base EVERYTHING on them...(which is sad because thats what plenty of women do)

 

[BathorysGraveland]

I couldn't care less really. I have been judged on having long hair, so I just ignore such people. It just seems like a petty thing to get worked up over.

 

[Xeraxis]

I've never really been complimented on my looks by any person, at all. I've gotten used to it and has given me initiative to not give a damn anymore. I tend to think of myself as decent, and albeit a few personal attributes I want to change for my own sake, it'll stay that way for a while.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

I'm not all that concerned with altering my appearance to please others. I'm hygienic, use Old Spice, and I tend to dress for the appropriate occasion. I let my looks take a back seat and have my personality and subjective humor take the wheel.

 

[Screamarie]

I have very pretty eyes, plush lips, and very healthy hair (which is amazing considered how much dye I cover it in). I know my face is very pretty (I don't say this to brag, I am just very aware what I look like). If I put on make-up I can be downright beautiful.

But I'm fat. And very few people want to date the fat, nerdy girl.

I wish I could say that I don't really give a damn what other people think and to some extent I don't...but it bums me out that I know that the fact that I'm fat means more to a guy than that I do have pretty eyes or that I'm trustworthy and I can be funny. It bothers me that I know other women make fun of my weight, though I like to think that they're just pissed that I have bigger boobs than they do even after the surgery. It pisses me off that I can't go get a burger without figuring that someone is saying "go get a salad you porker" in their head.

So yeah I don't like it. But I just try and move on. There's more important stuff to worry about than my weight.

 

[JoesshittyOs]

Ehh....

I don't... know. I'm a decent looker, though unfortunately I appear to be 2-3 years younger than I actually am, and in College that kinda is a negative.

Then again, I suck at vocalizing my personality and unfortunately am one of those guys who 'waits' for the girl to approach him. Disregarding my last weird and semi-lucky relationship thingy, I've been out of the dating game for years.

So I really have no idea. Judging on my looks or not, I'm boned either way.

 

[Powereaver]

Im tall but a solid build and can grow a wild beard but atm keeping it shaved and besides that glasses and brown hair and hazel eyes but still i dont get many girls here ... but in my opinion im just the average bog standard guy and i think most women think the same way so i dont get asked out.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Meh I don't care if they judge me for my apparance. I want nothing to do with them if they can't get past my plain apperances.
I get told often that I should gel my hair more often and get trendy glasses since that that trendy people are into. I don't get a danm about trend as I see using gel (I only use it to keep my hairs is sticking out) for looks only to be point since you're going to wash it out anyway.