How do you RUIN your sex life.

[jawakiller]

So I was checking in on good ole escapist when I saw a poll titled "How do you run your sex life."* Interested, I clicked on it. Then I had an epiphany. It seems like we as humans always fuck things up and now I'm asking; How do you fuck up your sex life? I'm asking everyone, not just the people who always mess up.

Now you may be thinking:
"I just got into a stable (sex-filled) relationship, I'm not fucking up."
The appropriate question for you would be:
"How have you fucked up your sex life in the past?"


I'll start. I always tell my (now ex) girlfriends to go hang out without me. Then she wants to break up a few days later. Damn you minecraft! I'm really hoping I don't screw up with my current gf.

If you don't like talking about your mistakes, stop and ponder what anonymity means.

EDIT: Or your reason for not having a sex life (a lot of people seem to be saying that).
*2nd EDIT: The creator of "How do you run your sex life" is Vern5. Sorry I didn't write that in sooner and thanks for writing the awesome thread.

 

[DefinitelyPsychotic]

I haven't ruined mine...
And I really don't want to!

 

[Grabbin Keelz]

I probably fall flat on the part where I'm supposed to ask her out.

 

[Ace of Spades]

I can't really ruin something that doesn't exist. Or can you?

 

[Psymon138]

I think this says it all.

 

[Zantos]

By no longer dating the person I was having sex with.

It was a shocking and abrupt ending. The break-up wasn't much better either.

Ba-dum-tish.

Word.

Other popular ways to ruin a sex life involve use of the following phrases "I'm tired, can't you just give me oral?" and "Fancy some anal lovin?", although my awesome sexy moves meant that in those cases it was back on track within about an hour.

 

[mikeli4194]

I guess chopping off your member would ruin a sex life...unless the girl is into that.
In that case, seek counseling, or the police

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

I think this says it all.
snipped image

Really? Try dating a Star Wars geek.

Even hotter when the girl does it. Usually best during the cuddling stage though, everything else would be a little weird.

Then again, having fun in the relationship is something I've found that makes it better, and since sex is really pretty funny, being able to laugh at yourself even during the act has so far never let me down.

But as for ruining sex.

It's kind of hard to say because I haven't been in enough relationships to determine how I've ruined my sex life. Only two or at most three committed monogamous relationships so far, and all of them ended for reasons completely unrelated to sex. (One was older than me and going to university, the other was just not a good fit, as we discovered a few weeks in)

Previous to that though, I was (as I said in the other thread) basically just having sex with random girls. This was more a lifestyle thing than anything, but basically I was in a band in high school, we played Sixth Formers house parties (two of the other guys in the band were a bit older, so they knew the Sixth Formers) which meant that when the girls got drunk enough, they thought it would be hilariously funny to have sex with us the (underage) band.

Thus began two years of drugs, drinking and sex, which was fantastic at the time but it really takes its toll. So it ruined sex in a way because it made it routine, just another part of the gigs. Go to a gig, play a set while completely hammered, get off stage and drink more, if not unconscious bang a random girl, don't even remember it the next morning.

I cannot emphasise how much the above sucks. It's the sort of thing that everyone would like to have happen to them when they're a teenage boy, but it is not as fun as it sounds. Don't do it, it doesn't just ruin sex, it ruins your life.

That got kinda preachy, so here endeth the lesson before I get any worse.

 

[markisb]

buy trying to fornicate with a blender.

 

[Icaruss]

Beside the surpise facial you mean?(and the perfectly justified inevitable knee to ones Happy stick after) Hmm? Asking to be called big pappa smurf (don't judge me)

 

[DJDarque]

By continuing to not have one.

 

[Sacman]

Well if I had a sex life it would probably be done in by weird fetishes...<.<

 

[Yassen]

I have ruined some casual relationships in the past but not in the way you'd expect. You know how some guys blow their load in like 2 minutes which puts the girl off? Well my problem is the opposite of that. Maybe I have no feeling, maybe the girl isn't good enough or maybe because it's a mental thing but for whatever reason I can't finish from sex.

This is both a gift and a curse. It's a gift because I've had girls tell me I'm the best they've ever had because I can go for as long as they need. But it also ruins casual relationships because the girl thinks I don't find them attractive or good enough. One has even cried because of that. I think I finally know how some girls feel when the guy desperately tries to make them climax and it's so tempting to just fake it.... sadly it's not as easy for a guy to fake an orgasm.

 

[Yarggg]

30 Seconds every time.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Biggest blunder, huh?

Okay, it's story time. Years ago, I was dating this girl (full lesbian) who had some self-esteem issues. She was complaining about how no one found her attractive. I said "that's not true" and proceeded to mention that, of course, I found her attractive. I also mentioned several of my friends who'd comments on her attractiveness, including a male-friend's fiancée.

My girlfriend was shocked by this - she had no idea that this girl was bi or thought she was attractive. She asked how I knew, and I explained that she (fiancée) told me so when I started dating her (my girlfriend).

Anyway, about a week passed, and then my male friend walked in on his fiancée and my girlfriend having sex. Thus exposed, my girlfriend dumped me to be with his fiancée; she broke off the engagement to be with my now ex-girlfriend.

So there's my blunder.

 

[game-lover]

Oh... harsh. Man. Harsh...

I wish I hadn't read this. It's gonna drive me crazy about what's going on now. I'm gonna have to resist the urge to bombard you with nosy PMs about how everyone is doing current and yadda, yadda.

 

[InnerRebellion]

By being a pushover who does whatever a girl asks him merely because she is a girl, and I don't know how to say no to a girl.