How to break this to my family? Repost

[The_Puppy_Prince]

Ok so ive been bisexual,leaning toward gay for about 2 and a half years now
So Im wondering how i can break this to my mum,dad,sister and so forth.
Im tired of hiding it and i just want to let them know
Please Escapists help me >.<
(Please notify me if im going against anything because ive been on the Escapists for sometime but im still new to posting)
And yes i mostly ask personal questions dont shoot me >o
P.S Be smart and think about what you post please

 

[Danzaivar]

First question, what country are you from. Secondly, are they religious.

Two crucial details.

 

[NeedAUserName]

I don't get why people don't just bring their partner round to their house and act very nonchalantly, and if they ask just say "Oh, didn't I mention I'm gay/bisexual?". If you don't make a big deal about it I don't think they will either.

 

[The_Puppy_Prince]

First question, what country are you from. Secondly, are they religious.

Two crucial details.

Whole family is Colombian
My family here in America is Christian
My family in Colombia and most of Miami is Catholic
Edit:Also,my dad doesn't believe in being Bi
He believes someone is either Straight Or Gay

 

[katsumoto03]

Is your family against that sort of thing? If not, I'd do it nonchalantly. Don't make a big deal of it and they might not make as big of a deal out of it.

(I do this when I have to break serious news to my family. It usually helps a bit.)

[Damn, ninja'd.]

 

[Jonluw]

snip

Just following up on my last post. Since you reposted the thread in the advice forum, you might want to go back to the original thread and edit it to redirect people to this thread. That way you won't have to keep track of two threads.

 

[BlueberryMUNCH]

RIGHT *reposts post* xD

There are a number of Homosexual members of the Escapist who'll give you great advice, don't you worry:].

As a straight guy, I can't really suggest anything, but I wish you the best of luck, and I hope it goes okay; I'm sure it will mate.

Also...err...Your Father doesn't believe in Bisexuality? Huh?!

But yeah, don't worry about it man, you are what you are yeah. Takes balls to tell your family so my hat goes off to you sir:].

 

[ShenCS]

Just don't hide it. It's not a terminal illness, you're not "breaking" life-changing news to them. You don't have to sit everyone down in the living room with tea and biscuits dressed in all mourning black. If you really think they'll get confused, just tell them, drop it into conversation at dinner, whatever. If your dad makes a fuss about being either/or, just say gay and make it simple. Things only become a drama if you treat them like they're inherently important. If you're keeping secrets and lying about something as primitive as this, then that's because of you, not the subject matter.
Good luck.

 

[Palademon]

I have a friend who recently told his parents.
Right now I'm wondering why everyone actually has to tell their parents. It's your sexuality, it's not exactly something you have to announce. But I suppose better to announce it before announcing a marriage.

My friend simply told his mum and then waited for his dad to get home. I'm not sure if it helps to do one by one. And if you're really scared, just don't tell.

 

[Johnny Impact]

I know they are your family and you would probably love them even if they were axe murderers but this needs to be said: If they are superstitious, ignorant, or prejudicial, and willing to let those traits run their lives, you have to remember their disapproval of what they will call your "decision" stems from small-mindedness or outdated values. If you are honest with yourself, and with them, and they turn away, it's their fault, not yours.

If they are good people they *might* be shocked but they *will* still love you.

 

[emeraldrafael]

I'd just say tell them. as painless as you can. whihc is usually just flat out.

DONT be flashy like one person I know did. He decided to stand up in the middle of church while hte priest said homosexuals would go to hell (dont let that deter you, I highly doubt god's that vengeful) and said "well I'm guess I'll see all of you hypocritical bastards there" before storming out. Funny, yes. Appropriate, no!

So yeah, just tell them. I mean... well, I was going ot say the worse they can do is disown you, but if you're really close to your family, thats a major thing. But if they cant accept that, maybe its better for you. you just have to do what makes you happy.

 

[moretimethansense]

DONT be flashy like one person I know did. He decided to stand up in the middle of church while hte priest said homosexuals would go to hell (dont let that deter you, I highly doubt god's that vengeful) and said "well I'm guess I'll see all of you hypocritical bastards there" before storming out. Funny, yes. Appropriate, no!

Frankley if I were gay that is exactly the kind of way I'd like to come out but I'm not plus I don't go to church and I don't think any of my freinds would be suprised(I'm very effemenate) and I don't think my mam would care beyond the lack of grandchilderen, anyone elses opinion I couldn't care less about.

OT I wish I could give you good advice but as stated above I can't really put myself in your situation so I couldn't imagine what I would say,
All I can say is good luck I hope it works out.

Also no such thing as Bi?
There's not really such a thing as 100% straight or gay, it's really more of a spectrum.

 

[emeraldrafael]

SNip

None of us (his friends) were surprised, it was just REALLY funny. But yeah, I'm not gay either, so i cant really imagine how this would be a problem to announce.

I think everyone should be able to express their lifestyles however they like as long as it doesnt hurt someone.

 

[LarenzoAOG]

Just tell them, if they really love you they'll accept you for who you are, if not fuck em and get out of their and find somone that appreciates you for you.

 

[BenzSmoke]

Just tell them.

They may react badly at first. However, they're your family and they'll love you always.

 

[Lineoutt]

P.S Be smart and think about what you post please

Peeniissss... sorry

OT: Well it depends, what are there religious backgrounds and how do you assume that they'll take it?

If you feel safe come out to whomever you feel is most trustworthy and accepting and work from there. Its like building a pyramid: You start with a solid foundation and work your way up to the top to create a secure structure. Also I heard from a gay friend that coming out as bi and working towards gay is easier then outright coming out as gay but that depends if you want to jump into the cold water or wade in.

Hope I helped, pm me if you need anything. Good luck bro

 

[Lineoutt]

Stupid internet

 

[Paksenarrion]

I don't know if this will work, but if you feel like you can, tell your dad first. Emphasize needing his help to break the news to the rest of the family. Being the head of the household, if you appeal to his protective side, he'll focus on the fact that you need him, and not that you're "different".

Um...unless of course, it's your mom that's the head of the family, then tell your mom first, and appeal to her nurturing side.

Also, when you tell your parent (whoever you choose) highlight their innate ability to problem solve and thrive in uncertain times. I hope it works.

 

[Soviet Steve]

If your family is catholic and religious I think that the instability and strife caused by informing them of your unorthodox views on sexuality.

It's terrible saying this but I think you could benefit from waiting. I can't say how old you are but it is worth considering that your sexuality is more... fluid during your teen years.

At the very least consider your own well-being. Do you need their acceptance to make a future for you and your partner?

Think this through well, is it strictly necessary for you to tell them that you like boys? If they impose economic sacntions, will you be able to cope?

Best of luck to you