How to get rid of a nutjob?

[Samael Barghest]

There's this girl at work who has a crush on me. I don't really like her. Honestly, I don't really like anyone. This girl, let's call her DS, has been pretty vocal to everyone who would listen about her feelings for me. As I have been for my non-existing feelings for her. The day DS first told me she had feelings for me my response was something like "you should move on. I don't date ghetto girls, I'm too ill-tempered to be in a relationship with a woman who have kids, you're 13 years older then me". And it's been like this for months. Every time she makes an advance, I remind her I'm not interested. She backs off for a day or two then tries again. My younger brother says I should give her a chance and try to get to know her. I tried it and ended up hating her. Prior to giving her a chance, I just didn't care about her at all and now I hate her. There's a limit to how stupid a person can be. We were talking about recipes from other countries and her response was the same for every country. "Whoa I didn't know people in Africa had stoves" or "Really! Indian people have fridges!" The sheer stupidity of this girl is mind-numbing. AND SHE'S 39 YEARS OLD! I have never been in a conversation before where I had to break down the words I was using into smaller words. Go back and reread this. Does it look like I use huge professor words. No, I'm a 26 year old black guy who barely made out of high school and dumber then most of my younger siblings and my stupid ass have to break down words for her. I openly voiced this to her. That's right ladies I called a woman dumb to her face. Her response was to laugh and tell me that I'm smarter than I think. I told her I don't date smokers (which is true. Cigarette smoke makes me itch and both my great-grand parents died from cigarettes) but she hasn't even attempted to try to stop. I told her I really don't mess around with American women (which is also weirdly true). Most of the women I've had has been some sort of immigrant. But she will not leave me be. Last night I sent her 8 full size texts telling her what I didn't like. Then I had to send another 8 using smaller words. Her only response was that she had a lot to change in order to win me over.

At this point, I'm considering murder... maybe.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Sadly with people like that the only solution is physical distance, so look into any options you got on that end. Can your manager move you to a different area / work time / possibly another of their franchises?
If none of those can work out I would still sit her down for a serious talk and make her understand this isn't funny and if it continues may be reported as harassment, of course this will very likely leave you hated among co-workers.

 

[Haunted Serenity]

Squirrels eat nuts so by that logic, a giant squirrel. Seriously though, either g cliché route and have someone pretend to be your girlfriend in front of her or ignore. I would suggest trying (faking) to be into the same sex but she might see that as a challenge.

 

[renegade7]

Well, you should probably start by talking to your manager. This kind of behavior is totally inappropriate in a work environment and might even constitute harassment.

Others have given good advice. Telling her you're already seeing someone is always a good way to shut down unwanted attention. Another good thing to do is to not just tell her you're not interested but tell her seriously, in no uncertain terms, that she's annoying you and making you uncomfortable. When you're dealing with the "crazy ones", when you try to be snarky or in-your-face about it they just do mental gymnastics to think you're just kidding around or playing hard to get.

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

You should really consider telling your manager about this, I'm pretty sure what she's doing is within the harassment spectrum.

If anything, delete her number (or add it to a block list or get a new number), ignore her in general and if it gets to the point, sit her down and say to her face as blunt as possible "Stop trying to involve me. I want NOTHING to do with you. I don't like kids. I don't like you. stop wasting both our time and find another guy"

Otherwise file an ATO.

 

[PinkiePyro]

I agree with renegade7 and Ziadaine,though from my own experiences I can confirm that this is indeed Harassment, make sure your supervisor/boss understands that it is harassment and she is interfering with your work.

if it continues or escalates don't be afraid to document incidents, keep note of when/how often she does this. point it out to co-workers (witnesses always help) then go to the police and get a restraining order once you have a enough evidence

 

[Chasing-The-Light]

As others said, definitely talk to management about moving you, or in the very least talking to her about it. Other than that, I don't suggest being mean to her about your disinterest in her. If it were me I'd take the indifferent approach and block her number, stay as far away from her as possible, and don't engage her in conversation if at all possible as well. Ideally she'll get the idea. Otherwise, definitely go the legal route to keep her away from you.