How would you explain Christmas to an alien?

[TragicHero84]

If you think about it, Christmas is an extremely odd holiday. I mean, you can say it's about the birth of Christ all you want, but in all actuality Christ wasn't even born in December, and every major religion in the world has a big hooplah at the end of December. But that's besides the point. What would you tell an alien who was visiting Earth about what Christmas was?

 

[MisterShine]

A long time ago, there was a man who said "Guys, lets not be huge assholes to each other, just because we can be". This was so revolutionary at the time, we nailed him to a tree and let him bleed out.

Now we set aside a day for him every year to remind ourselves maybe we shouldn't be jerks all the time. We're not great at it but hey, work in progress.


Note: This is pretty much verbatim what my Catholic mother told me when I asked her when I was 7.

 

[Sylocat]

A pagan holiday co-opted by the dominant religion in order to compete with the pagan holiday of the actual time of the year, turned into a big commercial extravaganza that is now allegedly besieged upon.

 

[Double A]

A day of the year which was taken by a religious group and changed so it fits their purposes. In modern day, it translates to buying lots of things for people you know.

 

[Canid117]

You realize that Hanukkah is one of the least important holidays in Judaism right? I am also pretty sure that there are two Muslim holidays in early December but nothing akin to Christmas.

 

[TragicHero84]

You realize that Hanukkah is one of the least important holidays in Judaism right? I am also pretty sure that there are two Muslim holidays in early December but nothing akin to Christmas.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/winter_solstice.htm
It's just a winter solstice celebration, basically. or at least that's how it started off.

 

[Canid117]

You realize that Hanukkah is one of the least important holidays in Judaism right? I am also pretty sure that there are two Muslim holidays in early December but nothing akin to Christmas.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/winter_solstice.htm
It's just a winter solstice celebration, basically. or at least that's how it started off.

The celebrations are still no where near as significant as Christmas. Ramadan can be if it starts in Christmas but I believe it started in summer this year so...

 

[Manicotti]

I'd say it's a birthday party for one of the most influential men/gods to have ever existed, and a good prompt for charity. On a more secular level, it's a reason to party and spend a lot of money, because materialism makes everyone feel good to some degree.

 

[JustShyofGenius]

Present them with a wrapped gift and clink glasses with them, because that's what the holiday means to me.

 

[Random Fella]

A day when we give presents because birthdays just aren't enough for these greedy little children.

 

[Iron Lightning]

Humans get bored with monotony, to counter monotony we invented holidays, this particular holiday is all about exchanging gifts with our kin by placing them under a pine tree, sometimes we also hang long socks about our fireplaces and fill them with lesser gifts. It was originally called Saturnalia by one religion and was co-opted by another religion (as a mechanism for gathering followers) which renamed the day Christmas. Nowadays the whole event is pretty much secularized and celebrated by the non-religious as well. We have a bunch of such holidays, like the one where we dress up as mythical creatures, the one where we periodically light a bunch of joined candles while giving and getting gifts, or the one where we fast during daylight hours for about a month.

 

[Zanakanishi]

A time where people buy things for you and you need to think of excuses for why you did not get anyone else anything, the reason, because people think someone died/was born a while ago and that means people need gifts to mourn/celebrate his birth/death.

PS. Did he die or was he born on Xmas, I forget

 

[zen5887]

Its a day where we all get together, have great food, share gifts and don't be cunty to one another.

 

[Mozza444]

I would explain by shooting him in the face and screaming "This Planet is ours you little green bastard!".

 

[wolfmanrulz]

Every year we place presents under a tree to appease the all knowing one. In an effort to sate his thirst, we leave milk out. While we sing songs about the man in a vain attempt to lull him into pacifism.

 

[The Geek Lord]

Christmas is that time of year where I remember that I'm lonely on the inside and cry into a pillow.

See, it's funny because I do nothing but play Japanese video games, and am therefore a geek, so this constitutes a joke. Somehow.

 

[New Troll]

"Christmas is to us humans like Giggaroonieloo is to you. Lets eat!"

 

[DigitalSushi]

Christmas is that time of year where I remember that I'm lonely on the inside and cry into a pillow.

See, it's funny because I do nothing but play Japanese video games, and am therefore a geek, so this constitutes a joke. Somehow.

You should have told me earlier, I would have bought you a pillow for Christmas.

OT: I'd tell the Aliens that Christmas is about worshiping Sush (thats me) and I should be showered with humanoid green skinned girls, and given a giant robot car!