"I Accidentally Walked Into A Christian Book Store"... Got Any Good Store Stories?

Recommended Videos

Twintix

New member
Jun 28, 2014
1,023
0
0
Yesterday, I got back from visiting my uncle in South Africa for 10 days. I have to say, it is an amazing country. You know, aside from the poverty of certain areas, which is distressing and heartbreaking to witness.

After spending most of the first day sleeping due to not being able to get any sleep on the way, I joined my mom, grandma and aunt on a trip to a mall the second day. Because clothes stores make me anxious and extremely uncmfortable, I decided to not join them clothes shopping.
Which is why my eye happened to catch a book store. I saw a decal of a cake in the window, and I decided to go in there to see if I could find a South African cookbook. Unfortunately, that decal made me completely blind to everything else that was in the window...

As I entered the store, one clerk approached me and asked if he could help me, but I declined his help. So far, so good. I ventured in a bit further and only then realized that all of the books in the store was about Christianity in one way or another; If they weren't about the Bible and Jesus, they were books on how to be a better Christian.
...And I'm from Sweden, one of the least religious countries in the world, and I'm at the very least agnostic myself.
...Awkward.
And that's when I was approached by another clerk who also asked if I needed help. I declined once again, but instead of just going back to do what she was doing, she kept following me around in the store while staring at me the whole time. I wonder if she could tell that I listen to Ghost, who've got a psuedo-Satanic theme going on...
Finally, I was so creeped out by her that I practically ran out of the store. Good thing I didn't ask if they had any Terry Pratchett books or mentioned that I was from Sweden, she might've launched into a sermon and told me that I'm going to Hell or something.

Why didn't I get out immediately? Well, I figured that the fiction section would at least have something non-religious. I was wrong.

As you can tell, my life must be quite uneventful if that is the "worst" thing to happen to me in a store. So, what about you guys? Do you have any good stories about stores?

Another weird one was this summer, when we went to the local food store. There was a lady there who practically screamed about the price on the eggs. Which, to be fair, was quite outrageous, but not that bad. She then almost started a fight with the cashier because she thought that the cigarettes were too expensive...
 

Dreiko_v1legacy

New member
Aug 28, 2008
4,696
0
0
If you walked into a religion-based bookstore, there should only be a fiction section, all the other ones are oxymoronic.
 

EvilRoy

The face I make when I see unguarded pie.
Legacy
Jan 9, 2011
1,858
559
118
Hmm, well once I was in the local T&T just after its grand opening, and I guess as part of the opening couple weeks they were actually hawking things as they were made fresh, which resulted in a small Asian woman yelling FRESH PORTUGUESE TARTS into my ear as I was trying to pick up a sweet bun, causing me to lose my shit and drop everything in my basket. Not my smoothest moment. The tarts were really nice though.

As for book store specifically... I wandered into a used book store once and decided to try to leaf around for Sonic the Hedgehog comics for a while. Despite the fact that I never really thought they were any good, I kind of have a soft spot for them since it was something I grew up with. Cue the man with what I'm going to refer to as 'vaguely unpleasant' body odor getting way up in my grill as he starts looking for his own whatever while simultaneously telling me about how Sonic comics will never appreciate in value and are terribly made anyway and how I should buy the latest edition of whatever bullshit superhero whatever and blah blah blah. I almost bought half the damn crate of sonic comics just to piss him off.
 
Oct 12, 2011
561
0
0
I'll just put this here.


While I don't personally have any stories as interesting as the OP, I will always cherish the look on one bookseller's face when I asked if they had a particular book. The lady behind the counter looked as if she was on the verge of a mental breakdown when I asked for the book, which was not in stock, and she offered to order it for me. She would just have to look it up to find it. (Please note this was back in the 1980s long before the online catalog systems were available and you had to look it up in the physical catalogs.) I then reached into my pocket and handed her a note with the ISBN number and publisher's name which I had written down when I had looked up the book earlier. At that point, she just stared at the slip of paper and I honestly think she was on the verge of crying.

It turns out that she had had a long line of people asking for books with the old stand-by system of offering helpful descriptions like "Well, it was big and red. Do you have that one?" for several hours before I had come in. When I offered her that little piece of paper, she told me several days later when I came in to pick up my order, she claimed she almost heard angels singing and she almost collapsed in sheer amazement.
 

Twintix

New member
Jun 28, 2014
1,023
0
0
Dreiko said:
If you walked into a religion-based bookstore, there should only be a fiction section, all the other ones are oxymoronic.
Let's not go there, my friend.

I mean, you can think that, but let's not go there.
 

Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
Legacy
Feb 9, 2012
19,347
4,013
118
I work at a book store, so I have plenty of anecdotes from the other side.

An instant classic: some kid (18, 19 years old) brings me The Hobbit to the counter, then asks me if I have the other two books.

 

The Artificially Prolonged

Random Semi-Frequent Poster
Jul 15, 2008
2,755
0
0
Dreiko said:
If you walked into a religion-based bookstore, there should only be a fiction section, all the other ones are oxymoronic.
Oh the good ones do have a non-fiction section. It's usually sign posted on the door on the way out :p

*self deprecating christian here*
 

Fox12

AccursedT- see you space cowboy
Jun 6, 2013
4,828
0
0
I wish something like that would happen. I used to be christian, and those stores are so boring. Just bibles, books about being more christian, and a "fiction" section about Amish people. They should have put an NC17 rating on those bibles, though, what if a child read it?

I got chased out of a Best Buy once. I went there with two friends, and we split up. As I'm casually walking, I hear an alarm go off in the general direction of my clumsy idiot friend (which tells me that he accidentally set it off). Meanwhile my other friend is being followed by some bitter old lady, which is weird, since he wasn't doing anything. Pretty soon some skinny, awkward guy walks up with a stepford smile on his face, and literally pushes us out the door. All the while he's trying to act hip and cool, and give us high fives. I've never seen someone so happy to make someone leave a store.
 

Loonyyy

New member
Jul 10, 2009
1,292
0
0
We've got one, "Koorong". I don't particularly mind them. There's nothing I want from them, but they're the only place that stocks that sort of stuff. Barring the Bible, most of the other books don't make it into regular shops (Because no-one buys them). Oh god their music sections are terrible though.

On the other side of the counter, working the minimum wage, I've had two separate occasions where I've served people who're on crystal meth. They're... interesting sorts, to say the least.

My favourite store story was when a young couple came in, who were clearly stoned off their ass, and proceeded to order a bunch of deserts, as you do. I put through their order, and asked for their name, but they started laughing, and I couldn't get it out of them, so I just put it under "Bob Marley" in honour of the guy's shirt and their stoned state. Just afterwards I was counting out to finish up, and his girlfriend comes up to the counter, asking for help, first one of my coworkers comes across, but when she sees me she waves me over, and starts saying something incomprehensible. I tell her sorry, I don't get it. At which point she clears her head and says:

"Sorry, I'm going to level with you. Me and my boyfriend are really high, and he thought you'd gone around the corner to call the police."

It was just so adorable and awkward. I told her that they'd been no trouble, ordered a bunch of food and paid for it properly, so we had no problem.

Stoned customers are the best.
 

direkiller

New member
Dec 4, 2008
1,655
0
0
I got one of those, but im the cause of it.

I work in a major retail store.
Someone ask if we have any rap music so I take them to the appropriate CD section, and ask her what artist she is looking for.

She said rather worryingly standing in the middle of a wall to wall section of Parental Advisory stickers.
"O I was looking for Christian Rap."

I proceeded to say "No, sorry we don't have any C-rap."(and proceeded to realize what I said right afterwords)

Luckily I eater put enough of a space between the abbreviation or it did not phase her, because nothing came of it.
 

Aerosteam

Get out while you still can
Sep 22, 2011
4,267
0
0
Yes, while I was on vacation to London with my family I mentioned to them I wanted to visit an anime-themed shop so I could get myself an Eren Jaeger cosplay outfit. (I knew they sold this by browsing the store's website.) Here's a picture of me wearing it:
Now, this shop has others things like anime-themed accessories, hats, bags, plushies and Pochi. I didn't have it in my mind when in the shop, but it also sells sexy anime... things.

Only my dad went inside with me, and was following me (because he didn't know what to do, of course). Eventually I stumbled into that section of the store, but I didn't realize it immediately. I looked at one set of shelves, saw a bunch of anime girl mouse pads - the ones with the puffy boobs and my heart stopped for a second, then I looked up and I saw a bunch of sexy anime figures (one of them had a girl tied to a bed) and I audibly went "Hrk!". I thought those things were higher on the shelves so that younger customers wouldn't see them, but that would mean they're at perfect eye-level with my dad. I swiftly walked to the next section of the store, sweet salvation.

Then I got my outfit, and also a BMO beanie hat and left with my dad. As we did, he asked me "So that's the stuff you're into?", I looked at the plastic bag with my new stuff and I calmly responded "Yeah". Now, I wasn't sure if he was referring to that, or others things in the store, but I made it look like I was answering for the former, although in my mind I was going "Dear God I hope he didn't see those mouse pads and figures".
 

spartan231490

New member
Jan 14, 2010
5,186
0
0
I don't remember the title, but I once went to a christian bookstore because it was the only bookstore and they had a fiction section. I found a book that, based on the synopsis on the back, was about a sorceress who got raped and magically aborted her baby. I was like, can this even be here?
 

LysanderNemoinis

Noble and oppressed Kekistani
Nov 8, 2010
468
0
0
I once walked into a Christian book store and didn't proceed to act like a smug, self-righteous, anti-religious bigot.
 

RaikuFA

New member
Jun 12, 2009
4,370
0
0
LysanderNemoinis said:
I once walked into a Christian book store and didn't proceed to act like a smug, self-righteous, anti-religious bigot.
So a Christian bookstore regular?
 

LysanderNemoinis

Noble and oppressed Kekistani
Nov 8, 2010
468
0
0
RaikuFA said:
LysanderNemoinis said:
I once walked into a Christian book store and didn't proceed to act like a smug, self-righteous, anti-religious bigot.
So a Christian bookstore regular?
Nope, ever been. But I just get sick and tired of the way people treat Christians like they're the scum of the earth and look at them like some kind of monster. And ironically, when there is a religion whose followers with greater regularity do things far worse than stare at someone in a bookstore or judge people based on bad behaviors, no one will say a damn word.
 

Secondhand Revenant

Recycle, Reduce, Redead
Legacy
Oct 29, 2014
2,566
141
68
Baator
Country
The Nine Hells
Gender
Male
LysanderNemoinis said:
RaikuFA said:
LysanderNemoinis said:
I once walked into a Christian book store and didn't proceed to act like a smug, self-righteous, anti-religious bigot.
So a Christian bookstore regular?
Nope, ever been. But I just get sick and tired of the way people treat Christians like they're the scum of the earth and look at them like some kind of monster. And ironically, when there is a religion whose followers with greater regularity do things far worse than stare at someone in a bookstore or judge people based on bad behaviors, no one will say a damn word.
It's almost as if on the countries people here are often posting from there are a lot Christians who seem to think the country should cater to them and vote based on their religion. And then have thr gall to act like *they* are oppressed by not having the bigotry they support be enshrined in law.

But sure let's pretend it is unreasonable to be pissed at the people being a pain in your own country.
 

WolfThomas

Man must have a code.
Dec 21, 2007
5,292
0
0
Dreiko said:
If you walked into a religion-based bookstore, there should only be a fiction section, all the other ones are oxymoronic.
They could have biographies of modern religious leader that would be non-fiction. I'm fun at parties.
 

Fox12

AccursedT- see you space cowboy
Jun 6, 2013
4,828
0
0
Secondhand Revenant said:
LysanderNemoinis said:
RaikuFA said:
LysanderNemoinis said:
I once walked into a Christian book store and didn't proceed to act like a smug, self-righteous, anti-religious bigot.
So a Christian bookstore regular?
Nope, ever been. But I just get sick and tired of the way people treat Christians like they're the scum of the earth and look at them like some kind of monster. And ironically, when there is a religion whose followers with greater regularity do things far worse than stare at someone in a bookstore or judge people based on bad behaviors, no one will say a damn word.
It's almost as if on the countries people here are often posting from there are a lot Christians who seem to think the country should cater to them and vote based on their religion. And then have thr gall to act like *they* are oppressed by not having the bigotry they support be enshrined in law.

But sure let's pretend it is unreasonable to be pissed at the people being a pain in your own country.
To be fair, is that the fault of a clerk at a christian family bookstore? It's the evangelicals you have to watch out for.
 

Secondhand Revenant

Recycle, Reduce, Redead
Legacy
Oct 29, 2014
2,566
141
68
Baator
Country
The Nine Hells
Gender
Male
Fox12 said:
Secondhand Revenant said:
LysanderNemoinis said:
RaikuFA said:
LysanderNemoinis said:
I once walked into a Christian book store and didn't proceed to act like a smug, self-righteous, anti-religious bigot.
So a Christian bookstore regular?
Nope, ever been. But I just get sick and tired of the way people treat Christians like they're the scum of the earth and look at them like some kind of monster. And ironically, when there is a religion whose followers with greater regularity do things far worse than stare at someone in a bookstore or judge people based on bad behaviors, no one will say a damn word.
It's almost as if on the countries people here are often posting from there are a lot Christians who seem to think the country should cater to them and vote based on their religion. And then have thr gall to act like *they* are oppressed by not having the bigotry they support be enshrined in law.

But sure let's pretend it is unreasonable to be pissed at the people being a pain in your own country.
To be fair, is that the fault of a clerk at a christian family bookstore? It's the evangelicals you have to watch out for.
Well it looked like he was starting to make a more general statement on how people view Christianity and not just the bookstores.

But yes it's probably not the clerk's fault XD