I never walk out on films.
I also never reveal spoilers.
Here are some generic things that happen in lame movies that annoy me a lot and make me feel like I am wasting my time:
* When the entire film apart from the very start and very end is a flashback from the main character. thereby completely removing the tension and excitement of wondering what will happen to that character during the film - you'll know he'll be okay because he was alive at the end to recount the story
* When people stand there and scream/look dumbfounded when danger appears instead of doing something practical during a very obvious window of opportunity to turn the tables in their favour or at least run like hell
* When I can predict the exact sentences that are about to come out of the actor's mouths just before they happen
* Whenever a "black suitcase deal" happens and predictably goes pear-shaped (do these deals EVER go smoothly in movies?)
* When guns don't need reloading as often as they should
* When contant slow-motion or "bullet time" is used during action scenes - action actually looks more impressive at the correct speed, you know. That's why it's called "action" not "slo-mo".
* When frames of blood, jiterry scratchy crap and annoying bloom is edited into horror film scenes to add tension (computer game cutscenes are also very guilty of this) - if you want to scare me, scare me with the story or the characters, not with show-off "let's try out some of the effects on our new film editing software" bullshit
* When a suprise moment is telegraphed in advance by creepy or gradually escalating music thus completely ruining the surprise. The definition of a surprise is an unexpected event. Filmmakers really need to learn this. The VERY few times I've seen surprise done well in a film it truly is shocking as hell.
* When action scenes are shot almost entirely with fast edits and macro zooms so you can't actually tell what's going on or even who is winning the fight until the scene is over, thus defeating the entire purpose of having the action scene there in the first place (hello Michael Bay)
* Relentless flag-waving patriotism (for ANY country) - not by the characters, but built into the narrative structure of the film itself
* Irony used as a hand-wringing excuse to be explicit. You can show boobs, or you can show boobs ironically, but either way you've still paid a girl to take her clothes off. Please don't stop doing it, just be honest about it.
I could go on, but this is enough for now and I've got other things to do with my day - like not watch crap movies...
