I can't get motivated and following other people's tips doesn't work

[chstens]

They always say things like "Get excited about it" or "Find inspiration." It's all completely meaningless to me. Giving myself rewards for doing things doesn't work either, as I apparently don't give a fuck about rewards. Setting goals has never worked either and I just don't seem to care. Do anyone have any unorthodox suggestions, since all this whimsical fairytale nonsense doesn't work?

 

[tippy2k2]

Rewarding yourself will work...you just need to find something you really want or stick to it since you're breaking your own rules if it's not working. That probably doesn't make much sense so let me give you an example from your friend tippy2k2's life!:

I'm broke and I'm fat. These two things alone should convince me to stop going to the cafeteria at work since it's expensive and fattening to go there rather than eat my Campbell's chicken soup for lunch. So here's what I told myself; "Tippy2k2, you fat and broke son of a ***** (my inner self is a jerk), if you go this week without buying lunch at the cafeteria, you get one guilt-free day where you can go to the cafeteria...fatty"

IF I keep the willpower needed to actually enforce my own rules, the rewards system works. If it's not food, make it spending money. If it's not spending money, make it video game time. If it's not video game time, make it hanging around at your favorite whip store. Unless you are a robot, SOMETHING can be given (or taken away) to motivate you. You need the willpower to enforce it though.

If you are so low on willpower that you can't even do that, tell someone you know and make them keep you accountable. Mum, Dad, brother, sister, friend, cashier at the whip store; someone to keep you accountable is very helpful.

If you can't do that...uh....join the army? They'll kick discipline into your ass.

 

[JoJo]

Just find something you like doing, or change it in whatever way possible to make it fun for you. Whether it's work, exercise, socialising or whatever, you'll feel infinitely better doing it in a way you enjoy rather than just for the sake of doing it.

 

[chstens]

Rewarding yourself will work...you just need to find something you really want or stick to it since you're breaking your own rules if it's not working. That probably doesn't make much sense so let me give you an example from your friend tippy2k2's life!:

I'm broke and I'm fat. These two things alone should convince me to stop going to the cafeteria at work since it's expensive and fattening to go there rather than eat my Campbell's chicken soup for lunch. So here's what I told myself; "Tippy2k2, you fat and broke son of a ***** (my inner self is a jerk), if you go this week without buying lunch at the cafeteria, you get one guilt-free day where you can go to the cafeteria...fatty"

IF I keep the willpower needed to actually enforce my own rules, the rewards system works. If it's not food, make it spending money. If it's not spending money, make it video game time. If it's not video game time, make it hanging around at your favorite whip store. Unless you are a robot, SOMETHING can be given (or taken away) to motivate you. You need the willpower to enforce it though.

If you are so low on willpower that you can't even do that, tell someone you know and make them keep you accountable. Mum, Dad, brother, sister, friend, cashier at the whip store; someone to keep you accountable is very helpful.

If you can't do that...uh....join the army? They'll kick discipline into your ass.

Can't join the army. Flat-footed and overweight. I have considered it. And I've tried that kind of reward system for extensive periods of time, eventually I'll just give up, because it gives me nothing.

Just find something you like doing, or change it in whatever way possible to make it fun for you. Whether it's work, exercise, socialising or whatever, you'll feel infinitely better doing it in a way you enjoy rather than just for the sake of doing it.

This seems like it should be an easy thing to figure out, if not do. To use exercise as an example, I haven't found a single method of exercising that I find enjoyable. And I've tried quite a few.

 

[tippy2k2]

And I've tried that kind of reward system for extensive periods of time, eventually I'll just give up, because it gives me nothing.

What might help is give us an example. What are you trying to change here?

 

[Blitsie]

What's your current situation if I may ask? Are you studying or working? Not asking for truly personal details here of course, just wondering if you're sort of going in a direction or currently stuck in a sort of metaphorical limbo where you aren't really moving anywhere in your life.

I was stuck in this rut last year and boy was it interesting to get out of, you feel like you have no direction to move into and the crushing apathy leaves you in a mindset where you just couldn't care less about it. What helped me was just to simply start moving blindly if I can put it that way, I hated my degree to the point of getting depressed, heard of industrial psychology, was like "fuck it, lets try it" and now loving the hell out of my new subjects, rediscovered some lost ambition and things are just overall going better now. And if it turns out not to really be my thing? Will just have another look at what else seems remotely cool and give that a go.

Just find anything productive (hobby, part time job, martial art, wine tasting, cooking classes, to name a few) that remotely interests you and just go for it without caring about the end result, next thing you know you make new friends who teach you new things you may end up loving or discover something that really piques your interest and from there on out things will hopefully start panning out better. Its a snowball effect you're basically trying to create here.

All in all, break away from your routine a bit, get out of that comfort zone and see where you land, you can always crawl back to normalcy in case it doesn't work out.

 

[lechat]

you need to set long term goals. if you don't have an active target to strive for then you either will not see progress or won't care when you achieve something.

 

[Jarsh82]

Unless you have an actual disorder, you can't get motivated because you choose not to be. You don't give a shit because you choose not to give a shit. Being motivated isn't a trick or a magical gift. It is an act of doing. I was like this once as well. The best thing to do is get honest with yourself. I liked to talk about doing something more with my life but never followed through. If you talk a lot about getting motivated but never follow through you're probably a bullshitter and liar. In which I mean you lie to yourself. If you want to be a motivated person simply choose to do. Its both really simple and really hard.

 

[renegade7]

Well there are three possibilities.

The first is some kind of disorder. ADHD often manifests as a lack of motivation to follow through on tasks, even if they interest. Depression could also be a factor. If you feel this is the case, you should speak to a counselor or doctor.

The second is learned apathy. Unfortunately, it is possible for "just not caring" to become a learned behavior. Basically, you have to learn that things can be in your control if you want them to be, and you need to find things you care about.

The third and final is fatigue. It may sound very specific, but not getting enough sleep over a long period of time can start to manifest as a feeling that you never the energy or focus to do things.

 

[Treeinthewoods]

Fake it, fake it hard core.

Pretend you are enthusiastic when you aren't, if you do that consistently you will start to feel internal changes and become more motivated and enthusiastic about things.

Also try a mantra, repeat a simple line a out how motivated you are to yourself over and over and it will start to become true.

The brain is malleable but it's not an instantaneous switch.