I need a hug...

[Ziggy109]

Hey there. I'm having a tough time right now, and I could use a bit of emotional support and advice. You fellows at The Escapist are some of the nicest people I've ever seen on the internet, and I suppose it wouldn't hurt to talk about my problems here.

Anyways, my story.

Me and this girl have been in love with each other for about a month and a half now. We were never officially dating, because she's leaving for college in BC next month and she didn't want to date before she left. She always told me she'd come back to me when she was done her ten month course, and it felt good having something to look forward to. Last Sunday, however, me and her had a talk... Since she couldn't guarantee that we'd be together, she decided to just end it. She even said she was unsure about being in love with me any more.

That alone was a huge disappointment and hurt me greatly, but there's more. She's had this guy friend for a long time, and just recently it's become clear that he has a crush on her. I encouraged her to be friends with him, but I made my concern about his affection clear. She said she would say no if he asked her out -- she had me, after all. Just last night, she told me he asked her out and she said yes...

I feel absolutely betrayed. She went against her own wish to not date until she left. She broke her promise that she wouldn't date him. I don't know what happened to her, but I still love her and am deeply hurt by her actions. She says she still values me as a friend and care about me, but I really don't know...

I honestly don't know what to do any more... I'm so depressed, I've lost five pounds because I can't even eat. I feel absolutely horrible when I think of them...

Any support from you Escapists would make me feel leagues better.

 

[Life_Is_A_Mess]

You can make her not forget you. Forgive her. Call her frequently. If you see that she doesn't care about you anymore, don't cry over spilled milk. Now have a hug.

*Passes a "FREE HUG!" cupon*

 

[Ducktard]

*hugs you*
Poor youu
It wasn't right of her to do that, to say she would say no if that other guy asked her out and then said yes anyway, that's horrible

Sorry I don't have anything more to say, other that time heals

 

[Havra]

*hugs*

I can't really say much but I think it would be best to tell her how hurt you are and explain what is happening to you. If she does love you she would understand and hopefully tell you how she feels and maybe the relationship will go somewhere.

As harsh as this may sound, being so far away means that you don't have any control over what happens between them. Just voice your opinion to her as calmly as you can, you don't want to make a fight out of this.

I hope that whatever happens in your relationship with this girl that you can deal with it and continue on with other things in life. Despite the current situation, it will get better.

*hugs again*

 

[Liberaliter]

You're young, affections like these are passing feelings, you have plenty more time for women.

 

[Folio]

I give you a digital, manly hug. You know, for support and strength.

You know you did the right thing because you didn't want to end it in a bad way. You saw what would be good for her and that's true love.

These things in life happen. And all these things happen differently.

 

[Lust]

I needs hug...

That was a real chicken shit move to pull on her part. But you need to remember that she's not your problem anymore.

Sure, it hurts. It always does. In the mean time, do something fun to take your mind off her. Go out with friends or seek support with family. I know it helps when I feel down.

 

[Mr. Mike]

You're young, affections like these are passing feelings, you have plenty more time for women.

That old argument does nothing to stop the feelings he has right now. People tell me this all the time, that teenage emotion is just a passing thing. But, at least right now, he doesn't need people to tell him that his affections are just fleeting things born out of youth, he needs someone to provide him some methods or proper advice for dealing with his current situation.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I suggest a bottle of Jack D and some hookers.

Well, think of it this way: If they'd betray you like that, you wouldn't want to be with them anyway.

 

[Ziggy109]

You can make her not forget you. Forgive her. Call her frequently. If you see that she doesn't care about you anymore, don't cry over spilled milk. Now have a hug.

*Passes a "FREE HUG!" cupon*

Hehe, thanks. I still talk to her quite a bit. I woke up in the middle of the night a few hours ago, felt like crap, and she texted me to cheer me up. She really does seem to still care, but I'm appalled at how she could do such a thing to me. I've told her I'm not mad at her, just disappointed at how she jumped to a decision so hastily when she realized how much it could hurt me if she came back and didn't date me.

*hugs*

I can't really say much but I think it would be best to tell her how hurt you are and explain what is happening to you. If she does love you she would understand and hopefully tell you how she feels and maybe the relationship will go somewhere.

As harsh as this may sound, being so far away means that you don't have any control over what happens between them. Just voice your opinion to her as calmly as you can, you don't want to make a fight out of this.

I hope that whatever happens in your relationship with this girl that you can deal with it and continue on with other things in life. Despite the current situation, it will get better.

*hugs again*

I have told her how much it hurts me for her to do this, many times. She says she's sorry for what she did, but she doesn't really make an effort to fix it, and I still end up feeling horrible. When she goes to college, she'll be leaving this other guy behind too, so I don't know what she was thinking when she decided to leave me to prevent hurting me, but agreed to date him. Thank you very much for the support.

You're young, affections like these are passing feelings, you have plenty more time for women.

I suppose you're right, but knowing that doesn't help much to change the fact I feel absolutely terrible. I appreciate what you said though.

To everyone else, thank you for the kind words. Sorry I don't have as much to say, but I truly do appreciate it.

 

[Kollega]

Aw, c'mere...

*hugs*

As i'm a complete nerd, i can't offer you any sort of relationship advice. I can, however, give another kind of suggestion. Maybe you should go set something on fire, and then something else... just make sure not to overstep the law.

 

[Ziggy109]

Aw, c'mere...

*hugs*

As i'm a complete nerd, i can't offer you any sort of relationship advice. I can, however, give another kind of suggestion. Maybe you should go set something on fire, and then something else... just make sure not to overstep the law.

I was hoping to hit up the gun range today and blast some Pantera. I'm less of an arsonist, more of a guns and heavy metal guy.

 

[Qracle]

Well, think of it this way: If they'd betray you like that, you wouldn't want to be with them anyway.

This is the truth. You should consider it a bullet dodged, and in time you probably will.

 

[Kollega]

I was hoping to hit up the gun range today and blast some Pantera. I'm less of an arsonist, more of a guns and heavy metal guy.

Set things on fire, shoot things, hop in a tank and tear some mud road a new one, or play DEFCON and pretend to obliterate entire human civilization... it does not really matter, now does it? The point is: it works.

 

[Ziggy109]

Well, think of it this way: If they'd betray you like that, you wouldn't want to be with them anyway.

This is the truth. You should consider it a bullet dodged, and in time you probably will.

I know... But until that time passes, I still love her and want her back.

I was hoping to hit up the gun range today and blast some Pantera. I'm less of an arsonist, more of a guns and heavy metal guy.

Set things on fire, shoot things, hop in a tank and tear some mud road a new one, or play DEFCON and pretend to obliterate entire human civilization... it does not really matter, now does it? The point is: it works.

You've got a point! I love the little cartoons your avatar is from, by the way.

 

[Paksenarrion]

*hug*

"You can't control what she does; if you love her, you'll want her to be happy"

...is what some might say to you. But it does not change the fact that she lied. She betrayed you. Your trust. your feelings. Your love.

The healthiest thing to do is just to move on.

...but what of her betrayal? Do we truly live in a world where those we love, those we give power over us, can choose to disregard us so easily? And if the answer is yes, must we condone their actions?

They are perfect, yes. They are faultless. Surely, the fault lies with us. We are what was wrong in the relationship. If only we were taller, or shorter, or skinnier, or bustier, or manlier, or sexier, or so many other things...perhaps, if we were all those and more, they would not have left us?

How are we supposed to feel? How are we supposed to "get over" them as easily as they seem to have gotten over us? There are plenty of fish in the sea, we are told. But are we all expert fishermen? Can we attract other "fish" as easily as others confidently seem to think we should be able to? Therein lies the problem...

...if we were rejected by the one we gave our hearts to, the person we opened up ourselves to, who's to say that it won't happen again?

Those who placate you and give themselves as an example of a loving relationship have it easy. Are we all truly equal in love?

NO.

Where does that leave us? Despite our efforts, our good intentions, our fantasies of meeting that one person who will love us because we are "good", because we are "kind", because we are "gentle"...

...we have nothing.

Look deep inside yourself. You know this to be true. What else is left to us, but the Dark Side?

Peace is a lie, there is only Passion.
Through Passion, I gain Strength.
Through Strength, I gain Power.
Through Power, I gain Victory.
Through Victory, my Chains are Broken.
The Force shall Free Me.

EDIT: *hugs*

 

[ActionDan]

Oh god I would be filled with unadulterated RAGE at that point.

 

[Broken Boy]

I have been in this position myself I know how much you hurt right now. I won't sit here and tell you that old BS of time heals all wounds. It's going to hurt for awhile what I try to do is to find something to take my mind off of it. It won't be easy I know I was in a 14 yr marriage the ending was painful but I made it through and you can to...


* Hugs you tightly to her rubbing your back gently whispering " it will be ok " *

 

[Kinichie]

Yeah, I been through that once before bud, have a hug, but try move on. Don't dwell on it, it ain't worth it.